Caboose ran to the door that led into the blue base.
"Church!"
"Goddammit, what is it, Caboose?!"
"The scary lava people are attacking just like in my dreeeeeeaam!!!"
"Caboose, I told you; there are no lava people, that was just a dream."
"But gold said they would eat us with their lazer toe-dude visions of purple!"
"What?" Church asked, walking through the door way. "Caboose what are you—sonofabitch!"
Church was thrown into the wall from the force of the blast as the reds stormed the base.
"Good shot, soldier!" Sarge said.
"Thank you, sir." York said, running ahead. Sarge sniffed.
"I am so proud of that kid." Simmons let out a cry of anger, but Sarge didn't seem to notice.
"What the fuck is going on up here—sonofabitch…" Tex rose her gun and shot at York, missing. York shot at her, but Tex managed to dodge it, jumping into the base. Tucker ran out.
"Shit!" He yelled, shooting and missing every shot. He, too, was thrown back by a shot.
"Nice shot, Sarge!" Simmons said.
"Thank you, soldier. Now shuddap and shoot!"
"Church! Nooooooo!!" Caboose cried. "Church is dead!"
Church coughed. Caboose gasped.
"Zombie!"
"Caboose…you…idiot…" Church coughed. "Where's Tex?"
"Ah!" Simmons cried, slammed into the ground by a shot. Grif was next.
"What in Sam Hell—what's going on?"
"Alright Tex!" Tucker cheered.
"Sonofabitch!" Tex screamed, exploding.
"Sonofabitch!" Church and Tucker yelled as the invisibility
function of Tex's armor wore off. She was shot again, blasting high
into the air where she was shot with rapid fire. Her black armor
changed colors until it exploded in a faint light and she was sent
slamming into the wall. The force threw her meters from it, and she
slammed into the ground.
"Fuck!" They cried.
"Dude, I think she's dead!" Tucker said. "That guy is fucking crazy!"
"What the fuck—it's another gold!" Church exclaimed.
"YOU!"
"I thought you were here." York said, turning to Gold.
"Know my squirrelly DOOOM!"
Silence.
Silence.
More silence.
"Uh…where are the squirrels?" York asked.
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Gold and York turned to their fellow blue and red soldiers as they were attacked by giant squirrels.
"Oops. That's a new one." Gold laughed.
"Fucking awesome." York agreed. "Now, what are you doing with the blues?"
"Blues rock!" Gold cheered.
"Blues suck."
"Red sucks!"
"But should Gold not be blue and the other gold be red?" Caboose asked suddenly.
"What?!" They both yelled.
"Duh—that's what the sparklies says!"
"Sparklies…?" They looked at each other.
"Cha. Gold has red sparklies and the other gold has blue!"
"Shit…" York said. "That means…"
"That we…"
"Were switched!" They both exclaimed.
"Those idiots can't even keep the conspiracy straight!" York shouted.
"I don't care!" Gold decided. "I'm a blue. If she wants to be a dummy red, then fine by me."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Shall we fight?" York suggested.
"DIE!" Gold yelled, shooting. York jumped above the blasts, but Gold followed with the gun as York did a flip in the air, shooting in mid jump. The blast hit some of the bullets Gold shot, but Gold dodged the blasts, still shooting and chasing each other with the guns.
"AAAAHHH!!!!" The blue and red soldiers (the living ones) cried, running from the blasts of the two gold soldiers as they flipped, shot, dodged, and destroyed everything in their way.
"Those psychos are destroying the base!" Tucker cried as he jumped behind a big rock.
"You wanna stop them?" Church asked.
"No fucking way, dude!" They both screamed as the soldiers found their way to that side, Church and Tucker leaping from the rock into the open as it exploded.
"Fuck!" Grif hissed, leaping behind the same rock that Sarge hid behind within the cliff side. Simmons jumped behind him, the blues after.
"You see soldiers? This is what I call a war!"
"You're fucking crazy!" Grif yelled, dodging a stray blast.
"I agree with you, Sarge" Simmons said, ducking under another blast. "This is truly an amazing fight."
"Ah, cut the brown nosing, Simmons—York is my top soldier, now!" Simmons growled, Grif laughing.
"They're destroying the fucking base!" Church growled.
"Where the fuck is Caboose?" Tucker asked.
"You mean that guy?" Donut asked, pointing to Tucker.
"No, I'm Tucker!"
"No, I mean behind you!"
"Yes?" Church and Tucker yelled, jumping back.
"Oh! Is this a surprise party?"
"Just shut up and get down, Caboose!" Church yelled, pulling Caboose down as another stray blast destroyed the rock just behind Caboose's head.
"Now just look at that skill! York is truly an amazing solider—worthy of my second! Finally, a competent soldier! No offense to you guys."
"Whatever." Grif said, shrugged. Simmons growled again.
"Who would've thought John would let this kid go?" Sarge continued.
"That's it!" Simmons yelled,. Standing up and raising his gun. "York!"
"What? Simmons! What in tarnation do you think you're doing!" But Simmons didn't hear, jumping from the security of the rock and screaming as he blasted away at the two gold soldiers, who screamed, jumping back dodging each attack.
"He's gone crazy!" Tucker exclaimed.
"He does not seem very happy…" Caboose said. "Does he not like parties?"
"Grif! Stop that idiot before he kills my best soldier!"
"AAHH!!!" Simmons blasted high in the air, York blasting him higher and higher as he did to Tex. Gold cheered as Simmons armor changed colors before, like with Tex, it finally exploded, Simmons slamming into a wall, then the ground in the same way Tex did. Gold cheered louder.
"Uh…never mind, Grif."
"Fuck…" Grif whispered.
"Well, that's it." York said. "I'm out of bullets."
"Me, too." Gold said.
"Temporary cease-fire, or hand to hand?"
"Eh, I'm sleepy."
"Me, too. Cease-fire, then. And we want your flag."
"Whatever. Tucker touched it, anyway." They shook hands.
"Finally!" Church exclaimed. "Gold, fix the base."
"What do we say?" Church sighed.
"Gold, can you please fix the base?"
"Yaay! The base is fiiiixed!"
"What in—how did she do that?!" Sarge asked.
"I don't wanna know." Grif said, walking to the blue base. Sarge watched as York went up to Simmons and kicked him. He groaned.
"Hey, he's alive!" Gold exclaimed. "Haha, now you have to help him!"
"Actually—" Sarge started, only to be interrupted by Gold.
"Nope!" She laughed. "York's gotta do it! If someone on the team needs help, traitor or not, she has to help them! Pisses you off, huh York?" Sarge thought about that as York hoisted Simmons onto his shoulder, steadying himself under the wait before he continued to the red base.
