I don't own Grey's Anatomy
Chapter Nine
Lexie groaned from exhaustion. It's been a long few weeks. She's been trying to take it easy, but being a second year resident wasn't all sunshine and daisies. Lexie was forbidden, by Derek, Meredith, and Mark, to even work all nighters, making her have to work her ass off during the day so she could make up any lost hours. She was tired. Her feet were beginning to swell up and her baby bump was clearly a bump. Why couldn't Mark have been the one to carry the kid? Lexie didn't plan on having kids until she was an attending for a reason.
"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked, walking over to her sister's side. "You got up early this morning."
"Yeah, well I need to get as many hours as I can. Mer, you realize in seven months I'm going to be a mom. I'm not going to have time for any of this." Lexie groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
Lexie woke up really early for rounds just so she could get the extra hours. She did everything she could and everything that needed to be done. Besides that she was also running errands for doctors all morning, helping out in the E.R, and even had to tell two families that their loved ones have died. It was ruff, but it's the only way she's going to keep up.
"That's why you have Mark. He'll take care of everything you can't," Meredith reminded her. "He's Mr. Dad for crying out loud. He'll be there with the baby while you can work here. And if he can't I'm sure me, Derek, Callie, or someone else can help."
"Will I even see my kid though?" Lexie questioned softly, resting her chin in her hand as the two rested by the counter. "You realize that when this baby is born I'm going to be in my residency still. I haven't even gone through my fifth, which'll be extremely hard with boards and everything in between-"
"Lexie, you're stressing out too much," Meredith said to her gently. "You'll get through this. You're not alone. You have Mark."
"I have Mark," Lexie repeated, reminding herself. "I can do this."
"That's right. Speaking of, what are your plans with him exactly?" Meredith asked curiously. "This baby is coming in six months and well, Lex you two don't even live together."
"So? Your point?" Lexie questioned, eying her sister.
"Mer's point is you live with her still," Alex chimed in, coming over to pick up his patient charts for the day. "You and Mark need to raise the baby together in the same environment. You don't have to be together, but you shouldn't put the kid through the trouble of moving from home to home. Plus, there is no space in Mer's house. They have their McDream home getting built in the McFreaking woods, so you and I are homeless once that happens. I don't think the baby will appreciate living in your car or in your old crap apartment."
"I see your point..." Lexie trailed off. "I don't know. Mer, it's okay if the baby and I still live at your home until something is figured out. Right?"
"Of course, but Alex is right. In the sense, you can't stay with me and Derek forever," Meredith pointed out. "And Alex, since when did you become all-"
"I don't know. I'm going into Ped's, what do you expect? I know a thing or two about kids." Alex huffed, walking away before he could be questioned further.
"Well, I got to go. See you later," Lexie said, chuckling as she headed out to see her next patient. She was on Webber's service today and the patient was Alison Clark. She passed out at the supermarket. Her husband, Gary Clark, was with her.
Right now Lexie was practically trying to hold every fiber in her being together since she was assigned on to this case with April Kepner. She annoyed Lexie. I guess since day one the two haven't been exactly close. Especially since Lexie was a truckload of hormones now, she was irritated with April Kepner more than ever.
"Grey, get Mrs. Clark ready for surgery," Webber ordered, finishing up the diagnosis. "Kepner, come with me."
"Wait, she'll be okay. Right?" Gary questioned nervously, holding tightly to Alison Clark's hand. "I need her to be alright. She's my world."
"Oh, I'll be fine Gary," Allison insisted, looking fondly at the doctors. "They got me covered. It'll be okay sweetheart," She added, calming her husband as he kissed her hand lovingly.
"We will take care of her very well, Mr. Clark. In the meantime, we'll see you when the surgery's over, m'am." Webber smiled at them as he stood in the doorway.
"Thank you Dr. Webber," Alison told him before he left the room. Her husband was still by her side and holding onto her hand even tighter. Gary looked longingly at his wife with a kind of love and devotion a lot of people wish to have. Lexie felt herself remember what it was like when someone use to look at her that way. Kind of the way her and Mark always would look at one another. She missed that.
"Oh dear, how far are you along?" Allison Clark piped up excitedly, causing Lexie to come out of her day dream of Mark. "If you don't mind me asking?"
"It's fine." Lexie chuckled, looking down at her bump. "I'm a little over three months."
"Do you know the gender yet?" Allison asked curiously.
"No. I might want the baby to be a surprise, but I'd have to talk it over with my um..." Lexie wasn't sure what to call Mark in this situation. Her partner? Her friend? She didn't really want to discuss the details of why her pregnancy was so dysfunctional, so she blurted out, "...boyfriend. I think he feels the same way too, but maybe knowing the gender might be easy on us. Know what color to paint the nursery and so on," Lexie rambled. "Sorry, I'm kind of rambling on about my own life when you need to be getting to surgery."
"It's fine dear. I love children, always have. Sadly Gary and I couldn't have any because of the cancer. I was too sick, and well I didn't want to possibly pass anything down to my kids," Allison said sadly, looking over to Gary who nodded in agreement as he kissed his wife's hand.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Lexie told her sincerely.
"It's fine. I lived a pretty fantastic life, and I have my Gary. Life goes on that way," Allison said, turning to her husband. "Now, you let the nice doctor prep me and you go wait in the waiting room. I'll be out before you know it."
"I love you," Gary muttered, kissing her cheek. "I'll see you later."
"See you later sweetheart," Alison told him. Once he left Lexie quickly prepared Mrs. Clark for surgery. It wasn't a long surgery, Webber seemed to fix the problem right away, causing Mrs. Clark to be fine. It looks like she'll live to see another day.
"Grey, take a break. Kepner can take it from here," Webber ordered her as he finished Mrs. Clark's surgery. "Kepner, you can close her up."
"Of course sir," She responded orderly, taking over while Lexie looked at Webber with a death glare. She was on this case before April Kepner was even assigned to it, and plus Lexie didn't get to do anything all day besides observe the surgeries. At least closing up would let her practice something.
"I'm fine, Dr. Webber," Lexie insisted, passing the tools back to the nurse. "Really."
"Well, you should really rest. You are preg-"
"Don't go there." Lexie groaned, rolling her eyes. "Which one put you up to it? Mark or Derek? I have an odd feeling it was both..."
"I'm not saying anything," Webber muttered under his breath, trying to avoid anything awkward.
"Okay. Fine. I'll go, but I'm going to be back for when Mr. Clark gets to see his wife wake up," Lexie announced, leaving the O.R furiously.
When she got out she shoved the door open to find Derek and Mark conversing over something only a few feet in front of her. She frowned at them, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot. It didn't take long for either to see Little Grey looking at them with a very cold and angry glare.
"I gotta go..." Derek trailed off, running away before Lexie could catch him. She did get Mark though, who looked pretty nervous.
"Hey, Little Grey-"
"Don't you Little Grey me! You had Derek and Webber babysitting me!" Lexie snapped at him.
"No offense Lex, but you kind of were pushing the limit. You did that last time, I was just watching out for you. You shouldn't be standing that long," Mark told her sincerely, trying to make her see his side of it. Unfortunately for Mark, it made Lexie angrier. She didn't like the idea of anyone interfering with her life. She's already had enough of that crap, she doesn't need Mark bossing her around.
"Mark! I'm a resident. It's not that I'm trying to purposely do this to myself, but I have my career to think about too. I didn't go to medical school for nothing. So, I need to keep up with the other residents! I can't fall behind, as much as I want this baby I have other things too on my mind," Lexie remarked, clutching her fists together.
"Alright, I get it but you need to take it easy. Last time you pushed it too much you passed out. It scared the crap out of me and I don't want to see you or the baby get hurt," He shouted, frowning at her. Lexie felt the heat rise in her cheeks and the nails dig into her palms as she looked furiously up at Mark.
"I'm not going to put our baby in danger! I never ever will even try to think of doing such! I take breaks, but during surgery I'm fine. I'm only three months for crying out loud! My feet hurt like hell and I'm hungry a lot more, but I can watch myself! May I remind you, Mark, I'm not your girlfriend! I may be carrying your kid, but that doesn't mean you get a say in what I do!" Lexie reminded him, frustration laced her voice as she then stormed away.
"Lex! Wait-" He tried to go after her, but Lexie was far gone up the hallway. She didn't want to deal with Mark's crap right now. She already had a ton of things on her mind, fighting with Mark was not one of them.
"Looks like someone is having trouble with Sloan!" A sly voice snickered behind her. Lexie turned to see Reed Adamson. She was with some Mercy West staff and they were currently making fun of Lexie. Lexie had to admit, many did move on like Jackson and even freaking April, but others like Reed still ticked her off in many ways. "Or is he really the baby's dad?"
"He is the baby's dad!" Lexie retorted, hot angry tears trying to fight their way through. "Let's get this straight, I am not a slut!"
"I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut!" Reed imitated her, pretending to be a whiny toddler while a few others laughed. "That baby is going to be the laughing stock of this hospital. Why would they even keep someone like you? Oh that's right, your brother in law is the chief. That's the only reason you're here you little-"
"Mind your own damn business tinker bell!" Lexie shouted at her, the anger welding up in her chest. "Don't you ever make fun of my child! Poke all the fun at me, but if you make fun of my baby I'll mess you up! And you shouldn't be heavily judging me, considering you get around more than me, hypocrite!" Lexie snapped cooly as she then ran to the cafeteria. She was sick of the Mercy-Westers acting like big babies in high school. It was immature and petty.
Once Lexie got there she sat down alone at the nearest table she could find and just ate the nearest thing she could get, an apple.
Mark was ticking her off, the people she was working with ticked her off, and in fact everyone kind of ticked her off lately. Lexie then noticed the fruit she was eating and spat it out immediately. Now even her food was ticking her off!
"Freaking baby and it's apple craving," She grumbled, pushing the apple to the side.
"Someone has a viscous hatred for apples." Lexie looked up to see Jackson Avery standing over her. "Mind if I sit here? This is kind of where I sit every day anyway, but-"
"Oh, god! Sorry, go ahead," Lexie stammered, stumbling on her words as she tried to collect herself together. "I'm just not in a good mood, not meaning to take your table or anything-"
"It's fine. Really," Jackson reassured her, taking a bite of his own food as he sat down.
"I'll go," Lexie told him immediately, trying to get up but Jackson stopped her.
"No. No, stay. It's fine. I don't own the table and you were sitting here first," He insisted, motioning for her to sit back down. "And I wouldn't mind the company too."
"Oh. Thanks," She responded, sitting back in her seat across from Jackson. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, looking out one of the large windows.
"You seem angry...Want to maybe talk about it?" Jackson asked curiously.
"I don't want to bother you. I'm a mess and I doubt you'd want to listen to my problems," Lexie said, fiddling with her hands.
"You know, it's okay to tell someone about it. I'm not going to blab like the others, plus you've seemed really upset," Jackson said to her, his blue eyes filled with sincerity. Lexie shrugged, looking down at the ground. She was not sure how she would even begin to say anything. Like it was any of his business, but right now she was tired. She needed someone to talk to.
"I haven't had a good day. A stressful, long day that seems to get worse by the minute," Lexie confessed to him, rubbing her eyes. "Everyone thinks I need to monitored like some kid, like I can't take care of myself. Then I have my career, and so many other things running through my mind. Everything just...Sucks."
"It doesn't seem easy, at all, especially becoming a mom and being a resident, but things are going to be better," Jackson told her.
"How do you know that?" Lexie mumbled as she rested her cheek against her hand.
"I can guarantee it because all of the people you hang around, Sloan, Shepherd, Karev, your sister, they have your back it seems and even though their measures might be extreme, they only want what's best for you so maybe tell them. A lot of people seem to care about you, and you seem like a strong woman and surgeon. You got this. You can do it," Jackson exclaimed, giving her a gentle smile.
"Thanks," Lexie said, smiling back after his pep talk.
Turns out, Jackson Avery wasn't horrible company. The two ended up talking for a little longer after that. He even shared his package of potato chips with her and they had a good discussion about all sorts of things. Maybe this is what she needed, a new friend or someone to talk to. There was Mer, but she's her sister and sometimes it's complicated with family like her and Derek. Cristina wouldn't care much, Callie is Mark's best friend, Alex is just Alex, and well after that it doesn't leave many options.
"I gotta go," Lexie announced, looking at the page from Webber she was getting. It was to tell Mr. Clark his wife was okay now. "Thanks for this, for letting me ramble basically and listen to my whining."
"You weren't whining, and no problem. I just really hope your crap clears up," he said, smiling at her. Lexie chuckled, feeling a bit better as she headed to fetch Mr. Clark. Gary seemed so relieved that his wife was out of surgery as he followed Lexie into the room. Sadly, his happiness wouldn't last for long.
When Lexie got there Allison Clark was still unconscious and she was attached to all her tubes and wires. She didn't seem ready to wake up at all and all she could see the worried faces of April Kepner and Webber.
"Is she going to wake up?" Clark asked, causing Lexie to share looks with the other doctors. That's when she knew something was bad.
Lexie felt a pang of sadness though seeing Mrs. Clarke lying motionless in the bed. She was a nice lady, she never deserved any of this. No one does, and she could feel the emotions taking over her. Especially since Allison Clark signed a DNR.
"Can't you do anything?" Gary Clark begged. "She can wake up? Right?" He looked around, begging for anything as he looked at Derek Shepherd in the eye. Lexie watched her brother in law look at the man with sincerity and sorrow in his eyes. They just brought Gary into her brother in law's office to discuss Alison's status.
"I'm sorry, but Allison Clark signed a DNR three years ago which states she must be taken off life support if it came to this. By law, we must unplug your wife. I'm so sorry-"
"No, there' s got to be another way," Gary Clark begged, tears coming out of his eyes. "Please! Please!"
"There isn't sir. I'm sorry. I even looked at her scans and x-rays myself, she won't wake up," Derek told him, his voice soothing. Just then Gary Clark burst into tears.
"We'll give you time to notify any family or any one else," Derek said gently.
"There's no one. It was just me and Allison," Gary Clark stated coldly, without any emotion. Lexie could feel her heartbreaking as she observed Mr. Clark.
It wasn't long until she had to walk into Allison Clark's room and face a distraught Gary Clark.
"Isn't there a 1% chance she'll wake up?" He asked, hanging on to hope as he clutched tightly to her hand. "That's still a chance, small, but a chance. Miracles always happen. She says that to me all the time..."
"I'm sorry sir, but in this case no," Lexie said, her eyes filling up with tears. "I'm so sorry. I really am." Those were her last words before she pulled the plug on his wife. Lexie felt sadness swell up in her chest as Gary Clark cried. She then left the room to give him a moment before walking right past April and Webber. Why did she have to be the one to do it?
Lexie didn't know and she didn't care as she ran outside, into a rain storm. She was angry. Angry at the world and upset at everything. Her shift was over and she just didn't want to be bothered anymore. So that's why she walked. She kept walking and walking until she came to a familiar apartment building.
Lexie Grey didn't stop until she got to the apartment she was looking for. She banged on the door multiple times before finally, a sleepy Mark opened the door. She could tell his hours were messed up because he was scheduling things around her schedule, so that meant he was done around the same time she was. "Who is it-" He paused when he saw Lexie before him, soaking wet and her eyes brimmed with tears.
"Lexie? What-"
"I've had a horrible day," She cried out, her voice raw with sadness. "You kept treating me like I'm fragile, people think I'm a slut, and I had to pull the plug on a very nice women who couldn't have kids of her own because of freaking cancer, so I'm angry. And I'm sad, really sad and I don't know where to go so I came here! I am sorry I snapped at you, but I am my own person. I am not fragile! I'm not fragile!" Lexie's voice hiccuped with sobs. She excepted him to probably close the door in her face, but next thing you know Mark is wrapping his warm arms tightly around her body.
"Shhh. You're not fragile. You are an amazing strong woman, who I can't believe I doubted for a minute. You aren't fragile, never will be," He whispered, clutching her closely to his chest. Lexie gripped tightly to him, burying her face into the warm familiar chest and inhaling his scent. His arms wrapping tightly around her as she sobbed. "It's okay. Shhh, it's okay." He soothed, kissing the top of Lexie's forehead.
After a few minutes of Mark hugging her tightly, the two slowly pulled apart. Lexie attempted to dry her eyes as she rubbed them with her wet sleeve, but it didn't work.
"I'm sorry. I bursted in here without you knowing and got you all wet," Lexie stammered, shivering as she noticed Mark's t-shirt covered in tears and rain water.
"It's fine," He told her, cupping her face. Lexie felt like melting against his touch, his hand was so warm. "Look, I'm going to call Derek and Meredith that you're here. In the meantime, let's get you warmed up because you're shivering. You can use my shower and I'll get you something to wear so you can get into something dry. Okay?" he said, brushing the wet hair away from her face.
Lexie nodded her head stiffly, heading over to Mark's bathroom. "Thanks," She said, sniffling.
"It's no problem. Really," He reassured her, giving one of his classic Mark Sloan grins. Lexie gave him a small smile before closing the bathroom door.
Once in there she slowly stripped off her clothes before stepping into his nice warm shower. The heat felt so good on her skin. She wanted to stay there forever, but at the same time didn't want to waste all of Mark's hot water so carefully she climbed out of the shower and wrapped her body in a towel. She noticed Mark left a pair of sweatpants and a Columbia sweatshirt by the door. Lexie looked lost in the clothing, considering Mark was way taller than her, but they were warm.
When she got out of the bathroom Mark was in the kitchen, watching T.V from the isle. "Hey," He said, noticing her as he then muted the T.V. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. A lot better," She said, hugging herself. "Thank you very much for the shower and the clothes."
"It's fine," Mark said right away, walking over to her. "Anyway I called Meredith and Derek, and they said to call them when you want to get picked up."
"Can I stay here tonight?" Lexie asked shyly. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I just...I just want to stay here with you."
"Yeah sure," Mark agreed, no problem. "Just give Meredith a ring and I'll set you up on the couch."
"Okay. Thank you, very much," Lexie said once again, looking at him with her big sparkling brown doe eyes. "It means a lot."
"It's nothing, Lex. I promise, and I'm happy to have you over," He said, smiling back at her. Lexie nodded before giving Meredith a quick call to tell her she would be staying with Mark. When she said goodbye to her sister, she turned to find Mark had set up some blankets for her on the couch. Lexie quietly walked over there, taking a seat on the couch next to him.
"I'm really sorry though, for everything. I'm just tired. Everything seems to be going away. You know what I mean? I just feel like everything got harder and I'm not going to be a good mother because of it..."
"You'll be the best Lexie," Mark told her right away. "Don't you dare doubt it. You will be great. Our baby will love you so much, how can he or she not?"
"I don't know. Look at how Ellis and my dad treated Mer, and look how my dad turned on me. Everyone's parents seemed to have hurt them horribly...Not to bring you into this, but I know what you told me about your parents. I remember. I'm scared Mark, I'm scared that I won't be able to do this and, not that our kid will be screwed up because we all were fine in the end, but what if it does screw them up? It's just..." Lexie sighed, giving up on saying anything else.
"Lexie Grey, we won't be anything like that. I won't abandon you or this baby, and you won't ignore this child or harm it in any way. This kid's going to be loved. We love him or her. I'm scared too, but I know we have a chance Lex. We're going to be fine," He said softly, cupping her face."You are going to be good."
"That made me feel better, thanks," Lexie responded quietly. "And you will be too."
Mark smiled as he then wrapped an arm around her frame. Lexie sighed, leaning into his chest again as he allowed her to snuggle close to him.
"Thank you for everything," Lexie murmured sleepily into his chest.
"It was nothing. Now try to get some rest, you and I both need it," Mark whispered to her gently, stroking some of her hair as he then placed a comforter on top of them. His arms wrapped around her frame as they both doze off into sleep.
The way the two held each other, it looked so natural. It felt right, like it was meant to be.
A/N: Heyy! So how did you guys like it? And btw if anyone noticed, I doubt it, but if you did I'm not sibuna826twihard anymore I now go by the ButterflyWhisperer as a pen name so yeah. Anyway, I hope you all liked it, thanks for reading, please review, and be on the look out for the next update :)
