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A/n here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your support. I have to give a huge shout out to my beta REIDFANATIC for all of her help with the medical side of this story. Please Enjoy!
The Confusion of Memory
JJ's phone began to beep as she left her office. She cursed under her breath and answered. "Jareau!"
"JJ…"
She stopped in the middle of the nearly empty hall. "Emily? What's wrong?"
Then she cursed again, in her head this time, for asking the stupidest question ever.
"I want to go see Spencer, but I don't know what to say to him. Hotch told me he's been asking for you. Maybe we can go together."
JJ sighed. She couldn't say no to the hopeful tone in Emily's voice. "I can't get away from here for at least an hour."
"That's okay. Dr. Brewster made me promise I wouldn't go back at all today."
"Then you should listen to him Em. You need your rest." She dashed back into her office and shut the door. "Look, I know how much you love him. I'm glad he has you in his life, but you need to get rest, for your sake and the baby."
"Everyone keeps telling me that. I can't rest JJ. I tried to lie down and sleep, but I couldn't sleep for more than an hour. Every time I try, I see his face the way he looked before someone beat him to within an inch of his life. I see his eyes and the way he used to look at me. I have to see that again, not a battered, black and blue face with eyes that go blank when they look at me."
"Alright, I'll pick you up in two hours. Please try to stay off your feet until I get there."
"I promise."
"I've really got to go Emily. I'm already late."
"I'll see you in a few hours."
JJ slapped her phone shut, glanced at her watch and rushed out of her office for the elevator.
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Reid was lying with his upper body raised to help his breathing against his taped ribs. He'd finished his liquid lunch an hour ago. He'd had breakfast and lunch in liquid form. He was already getting tired of fruit juice, water, and milk. They'd included tomato soup with his glass of milk for lunch, but he didn't want it. He wanted a cup of coffee and something more interesting to eat like a slice of apple pie, or even Chinese takeout as long as it didn't involve the use of chop sticks. He sighed and looked at his hands. He couldn't eat any of those things with his jaw wired shut for the next six weeks.
His head felt fuzzy. He conjectured that it might be the pain medication. He couldn't think straight, and he wondered about the beautiful dark haired woman who'd been there when he'd woken from the coma. He tried to remember her, but he couldn't make his mind focus. It kept slipping back to Gideon and losing Elle.
He sighed again and cursed himself for being intentionally stupid. It wasn't the medicine. They wouldn't give him heavy-duty drugs to fog his brain and give him an excuse for confusion. He knew the reasons for his muddled brain. They told him it was five years later, but he couldn't make himself believe it. He knew that brain injury made almost everything possible, but he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it.
Right, because this has never happened to you before now. What did you expect?
He decided to quit trying to figure out why he felt about Emily the way he did and concentrate on something else like trying to remember why someone would try to hurt him.
"Hey Spence…" He looked up to see the person he most wanted to see standing in the doorway, but she wasn't there alone. The dark haired woman called Emily was there. His heart sank. He didn't want strangers there.
"Hi JJ, I thought you'd be coming alone."
He didn't see the hurt leap into Emily's eyes because he was staring at JJ.
"I brought Emily with me because she wanted to see you again." JJ said taking one of the chairs that was supposed to be comfortable, but were not what they appeared.
"Why?" He asked, ignoring Emily.
"Because Emily's our teammate, she took Elle's place."
"We don't need another profiler on the team." He argued.
He didn't acknowledge Emily sitting in the second chair. He smiled at JJ instead.
"Don't be rude Spence. Emily's a great profiler. You should know… You've worked with her for nearly four years."
"I don't remember any of that." He said irritably. "I just want to talk to you. Can't you make her leave?"
"Um… Maybe I should just go." Emily said. He didn't look at her even though he could hear the upset in her voice.
The chair scraped back as she got to her feet.
"You and I are going to have words after I talk to Emily." JJ promised him.
Why was she so angry with him? He was just telling the truth. They said that honesty was the best policy. So how could she be mad at him for being honest that he didn't like Emily?
You don't know her. How can you like her?
He smiled at the narrowed eyed scowl JJ gave him as she walked out the door. Her heels seemed to have an extra loud clip too.
"What did I do wrong?" He wondered a loud.
He shifted on his bed, wincing and groaning as he tried to turn on his side. He hurt, he didn't know what was going on and now JJ was pissed at him. "Someone tell me what's going on." He whispered.
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"Emily… Wait!"
JJ chased her friend down the long white walled hallway. Emily could move fast, even pregnant, when she wanted.
"I saw how he looked at you JJ."
"You're being completely irrational Emily." JJ grabbed Emily's arm to stop her from pressing the button for the elevator.
"I'm not irrational. He doesn't remember me. He doesn't love me. He's in love with you." She almost shouted.
"That's ridiculous Emily. Spence never -"
One of the elevators opened and a family of four stepped out. The two boys shoved at each other as they passed JJ and Emily.
"Stop it right now!" Their mother said.
"Do you want to go back out to the car?" The father asked calmly.
Instantly the boys stopped shoving at each other. "No," they said in unison.
They passed by and headed the way JJ and Emily had come from Reid's room. JJ waited until they were gone. "Emily… Reid still thinks its five years ago. He's confused and. -"
"He's back to thinking he's got feelings for you." Emily pushed. "I'm not going to stick around and watch it."
"You're being completely unreasonable."
Emily punched the button for the elevator closet to where they stood. "I'm sorry if I'm not strong enough to handle this up to your standards."
"Emily, I'm not trying to say -"
"Please just go away. Go back to your precious Spence. He only wants to see you anyway."
The elevator arrived and JJ tried to follow her onto the empty car.
"No, I want to be alone." Emily snapped.
JJ stepped off and watched the doors close on Emily's tear filled face. She'd never seen Emily cry so much or speak with so much hopelessness in her eyes. She turned on her heel and hurried back to Reid's room. It was too bad that he was hurt. She was going to give him a piece of her mind, pain or no pain.
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Emily realized when she left the hospital that she didn't have her car as she'd caught a ride with JJ. She almost turned around and went back through the double sliding glass doors. No… She wasn't going to sit in a waiting room while Spencer made puppy dog eyes at JJ.
"You're being ridiculous." She said to herself. "JJ is right! He doesn't remember you. The pain and confusion are making him say things he'd never say in his right mind."
She should go back inside and go up to Reid's room. She should sit next to his bedside and play the patient girlfriend who forgave her man anything. In fact, if this were a cheap novel or a movie, that's exactly what the writer would make her character do. This wasn't fantasy, she reminded herself irritably as she stood in the early evening summer sunlight. This was reality and real life. She had a right to be angry and irrational. She wasn't going to pretend that it was close to being okay.
A woman dressed in traditional eastern Indian garb passed by her looking like she didn't quite know where she was. Her gentle dark eyes swept over Emily.
"Excuse me… Do you know which way to the maternity ward?" She asked in a lilting voice that went up and down.
Her peach colored sari flapped a little in the breeze that had come up in the last few minutes. Emily found that she couldn't speak, even though politeness demanded that she answer the question. The woman gave her a look and hurried through the double doors. Well… She couldn't expect Emily to know everything about the hospital.
Emily put one hand on her baby belly. "I'm sorry about all of this little one. We might be on our own for a long time."
A gentle kick to her ribs had tears welling up in her eyes. Reid should be there with her, feeling his baby move. She pulled out her phone and called for a cab. She had to get away from here and she knew exactly where to go.
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"Alright Spencer Reid…" JJ entered his room at a pace that reminded him of the days when she had to coordinate press conferences for them. "What's the matter with you, and don't tell me you don't remember anything. That was f-ing rude and you know it."
His eyebrows went up. He'd never heard her use that word. "I didn't -" He started to say in his clenched teeth way that was sometimes hard to understand.
"You hurt her feelings Reid. She's your friend."
"I don't remember her. Anyway… She's pregnant. Why is she spending all her time here when she should be with her husband, or boyfriend or whatever?"
He was astonished to see the anger in JJ's blue eyes and the way she crossed her arms over her chest. He heard her foot tapping like he was a naughty little boy in a classroom.
"What am I going to do with you Reid?" She finally sat down next to him. "I'm sorry I jumped down your throat. I know this is completely overwhelming for you. I just want to help you. Your friends, including Emily just want to be here for you."
He could smell the same floral perfume she always wore that he liked. Her blue eyes always reminded him of the sky after a storm.
"You have beautiful eyes JJ." He said, ignoring her lecture.
"Look Spence I need to tell you something. I know you've been overloaded with so much, but I have to explain something very important."
She'd rested a hand on top of one of his hands and he flinched at the contact. Something flashed through his brain like one scene in a movie he'd never watched, but somehow recognized.
He was sitting there reviewing a file when JJ said. "Oh… He's really kicking today.
He glanced up to see she was very pregnant and he heard himself say, "In the third trimester there's an average of thirty fetal movements per hour. Babies kick to explore movement and strengthen muscles."
She looked at him with the kind of exasperation he was used to when he spouted off that way. She said. "Have you ever felt a baby kick?"
He said no and she grabbed his hand, putting in on her baby bump. He felt something tap the palm of his hand and he tried to pull away. "You feel that?"
"Yes… Doesn't that freak you out?" He asked.
"No, not at all… Does it freak you out?" She threw his words back at him.
"Yes… Very much so…"
"Spence… Hey Spencer! What's wrong?"
He snapped out of the - well he didn't know what it was - he guessed it was a memory and looked up at her. Did that mean that JJ had a baby? If it did, then who was the father?
