Love.
Love rules us all. Mortal, Immortal, it doesn't matter.
We are all prisoners of love, locked by its unwavering hands, covered in its many thorns and scars.
We have wars over love.
We'll kill, and hurt and torture for love.
And in return, love kills, and hurts, and tortures us.
I had emersed myself, no, drowned myself in the fountain of love but I was in love with two men. Both, at equally depressing depths but in two completely different wavelengths.
If Edward was a pond, calm and quiet, decorated only by the quiet sing-song of birds, Chase was a waterfall, violently quickly and frighteningly unsteady but with the rush of adrenaline as you let the waves take you, rip you from what you've once known and introduce you to something new.
Was I homesick? Or did I enjoy the rush on new life? I didn't know.
So I turned to family, if I could not choose between to wonderful, yet wildly different men perhaps I could choose between two families I had once called mine.
Christopher Lasch once said, the family is a haven in a heartless world. Exactly the words I would have used to describe my former family, after being left and abandoned by the Cullens, my family saved me in every way you can save a person and made me feel warm, loved and needed like I never had before. Does that make them my true family?
Then again, before Edward left I had regarded the Cullens much in the same way. They were feelings I was beginning to regain for them again.
"How do you choose...?"
"Choose what?" Edward smiled from behind me.
"What shoes to wear." I laughed.
Edward's sweet chuckle danced cheerfully around my ears, making me, in that instance, want to wrap myself in his voice and never hear another sound.
"Don't laugh. One wrong choice will have Amy marching me back to her house."
"Ahhh sweet Bella," He hummed, his finger twirling around a loose strand of hair as he leant in and drank in my new scent. Which was, at present, the smell of human blood drowned out by expensive perfumes in excessive amounts. "You have changed so much, but still so little."
Really? I don't recall having been so good at lying when I was human. Yet, the knee-buckling sensation I felt in close proximity to Edward hadn't changed in the slightest.
"You are still beautiful, stubborn, indecisive..."
"Its a hard decision." I smiled, "See? If I choose those-" I pointed to a pair of moss green heels in the corner, "It means I'm thinking too much. Which, to Amy, means bad. If I wear those," I gestured to the bright red pumps beside them. "It means we have been having sex. Lots of sex. Which will make her think I'm never coming back which will mean bad. If I wear any of those," I swung my hands to the piles of flat shoes, "It means I'm not having any sex, which means I'm sexually frustrated which means-"
"Bad." Edward flashed me a crooked smile and kissed my cheek, "then wear those." He gestured to the black heels in the corner.
They were plain, and the could say anything and nothing at the same time. I was partly surprised he had chosen them, they were high and he seemed intent on keeping me as the Bella from Forks, still...good choice.
"Okay." I beamed, turning around to face him and peck him on the lips, which then turned into a very, very long kiss. I had almost forgotten the perfection that was Edward and I as a couple, how could I deny I loved him?
But how could I forget he left me? How could I forget the person that was there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart after he left?
I hadn't.
"I'll be waiting outside." Edward promised tenderly as we broke apart.
I smiled and nodded, and he was out of my room in a fraction of a second.
Great. High School. Again.
Yeahhh I know guys, its been a while. But check it ;) New chapter, all for you (: I spent all night on it okay so review and let me know what you think ;)
Sharnee xx
