"Castle," she says, her voice catching on his name.

"I think it's always been you," he says softly.

Tears well up in her eyes and she quickly wipes at them because damn him for making her emotional. For saying sweet, heart-wrenching things that are an all too painful reminder that he's leaving.

"Hey," he says, moving his hand to thumb a finger across her cheek, but he passes through her. She tilts her head back and tries to stop the involuntary tears fighting to fall down her face.

"I'm sorry," she says with a huff, "It's just—" She gazes at him, at their linked hands, and slips her fingers from his. "I can't do this, Castle."

"Kate."

"I can't sit around just waiting for you to—" she closes her eyes, "I can't wait, doing nothing, when there's still time."

"Look at me," he calls out softly. She takes a deep, shuddering breath and opens her eyes, finding his blue pair right in front of her, searching her face.

"It's going to be alright."

"How can you say that?" she asks. She's done pretending everything's going to be fine. She rummages around the drawer in the nightstand, her mind turning. How can she make more time?

"It'll be fine."

What if they—no, how about—and...a thought slots into place, an idea, as her hand bumps into the hard edge of her cell phone. Of course.

"Castle, what time are they pulling the plug?"

"Noon, why?"

She dials and puts the phone up to her ear, her teeth digging into her lip.

"Because I'm going to save you," she says.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

She worries a strand of hair between her fingers as the phone rings. She throws her gaze to him, hope fluttering in her chest.

"I'm going to steal your body."


Kate checks her watch. It's only 8 PM. They should be awake. She paces as she texts and sends voicemails to her friends. Castle hovers around her, agitated.

"You'll go to jail, Kate," he says as she talks with Lanie. She covers a hand over the mouth of the receiver.

"I don't care," she says, her eyes darkening.

"I can't let you risk everything for me," he urges.

"It doesn't matter," she says.

"You can't do this, Kate," he says.

Beckett rubs a hand between her brows, massaging her temple.

"Lanie, I'm going to have to call you back," she says into the phone and snaps it shut with a sigh.

"Castle—"

"What if something goes wrong? What happens then? What about your job? What if—"

"I've got this—"

"I won't let you sacrifice your job, Kate," he says fiercely. She scrapes a hand through her hair. If he would just listen. "I know how much it means to you. And—" he says.

"You're going to die."

He quiets, his chest heaving and looks at her, his pupils dark and wide.

"And if you don't care about that, at least think about how that's going to affect the people that love you. You really want to put your mother through that? And what about Alexis?"

His mouth settles into a hard line.

"And what about you, Kate?"

"Can't you see I don't want anything to happen to you? I'm trying to make more time because we're...friends. We're partners," she says.

"Is that what we are?"

"I don't know what we are, Rick," she says, anger sparking in her chest. "All I know is you won't fight for yourself, and I...I don't want to watch you die."

Castle stares at her, his eyes a sea of stormy blue, turbulent and dangerous.

"I think you are the most remarkable and...frustrating person I have ever met," he says.

"And you're the most bull-headed idiot I've ever met," she throws back. She clenches her fists. "Castle, if you care about me at all, then you'll let me do this," she says, "You'll let me save you."

"If I care you about?" he asks, his voice raising and she flinches. "Jesus, Kate. I want more time with you more than anything," he huffs, a tear slipping down his cheek. "All I can think about is you," he says, his voice splintering.

Her breath hitches.

"Then why do you keep fighting me?"

"Because…" he looks at her, his eyes shattering . "Because I'm not ready to go back to my real life. To a traumatized daughter. An alcoholic mother," he says and his throat catches. "Because I did that. I did that to them. How can I face that?"

Oh. Oh, no. He's hurting inside, too.

"Castle," she breathes, "It's not your fault. None of that is your fault."

She walks up to him, and reaches her hand up to his cheek, as if cupping it and fastens her gaze with his.

"You will be able to face it. Because you're strong and kind and they love you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because they're lost without you," she says.

She wipes at the tears escaping down her face.

"Kate," he exhales.

"I'm lost without you," she whispers, choking on tears. "Please let me do this."

His hands reach for her face, but they don't touch.

"Okay," he says.

"Okay?" Her heart stops.

"Being a ghost sucks."

Her mouth turns up into a smile. That sounds more like her Castle.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd be lost without you, too."


Beckett paces in front of Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan, her hands wringing together.

"You said it was important. Why are we here, Beckett?" Esposito asks,

"Solving the case didn't work. Castle's still here," she says and the three of them look at each other.

"Are they still pulling the plug tomorrow?" Ryan asks.

"Yes, and we can't let that happen," she says, stopping in front of them.

"We?" Lanie asks.

"We're going to break him out," Beckett announces.

"What?" Ryan cries out.

"And I know it's a big thing to ask—"

"You're asking us to break the law, Beckett," Esposito says, his brow slanting down disapprovingly.

"I wouldn't ask unless I had another option," she pleads.

"We're the police," Esposito says.

"I know," she says quietly.

"Honey, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It's the only one I have, Lane."

"What are you going to do with the body?" Lanie asks.

"Does that mean you'll help?" Beckett asks with a hopeful lilt.

Lanie sighs, resigned and gives Esposito a shrug. He shakes his head, crossing his arms.

"Why does saving this guy mean so much to you?" Esposito asks.

"He has a family. A daughter and mother who need him."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"You're risking an awful lot for this guy."

Castle looks at her and she avoids his gaze, her heart tripping and falling in her chest.

"This is not about me," she huffs, "Look, how many times do we get the opportunity to save a life?"

"Beckett—"

"And I'm not trying to guilt or force anyone into this. But I'm doing something with or without you guys. So who's in?"

They all share a look and then turn back to her. Her pulse beats rapidly.

"We'll do it," Ryan announces.

"Really?" Beckett asks, breathless.

"But you owe us big time," Esposito says.

"I mean big," he says.

"Huge," says Lanie.

"What's the plan?" Ryan asks.


"Are you sure about this?" Castle asks.

"I'm in this," Beckett says, tightening her grip on the steering wheel of the morgue van. They stayed up the rest of the night planning and now they're on their way to the facility. It's almost an hour before noon.

"What about her and the boys?" he asks, nodding at Lanie in the front seat. The boys volunteered to sit in the back while they made the drive.

"They know what they're getting themselves into," she says firmly.

"Are you talking to me, sweetie?" Lanie asks and Beckett glances at her friend.

"No, uh, Castle, sorry."

"How's he doing?" Lanie asks and Beckett bites the inside of her cheek.

"I just want them to know I realize how difficult this is, especially since I'm basically a stranger to them," he says, and she softens.

"He wants to thank you for doing this for him. He knows it might be strange putting yourself on the line for someone you don't know," she says.

"I always thought he had a real gift for the details of death," Lanie says and Castle smiles. Beckett rolls her eyes. "And I'm not doing this just for him. It's for his family. And for you, girl."

"Me?" Beckett splutters.

"I can see how much you care about him."

"Lanie!"

"What? Is it supposed to be some kind of secret?" Lanie asks.

"Yeah, is it supposed to be a secret, Beckett?" Castle asks, a silly grin spreading across his face and his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Will you shut up?" she says hotly and Lanie raises a brow.

"Not you, Lane," Beckett says with a sigh.

"Are you ready for this, honey?" Lanie asks softly.

Beckett stares ahead at the road determinedly.

"As long as we follow the plan, we'll be fine," she says confidently.

"Let's hope nobody asks to see a warrant," Lanie says, leaning back into her seat and closing her eyes.

"Or identification," Castle adds. "Actually, are we sure this plan is going to work?"

"Only one way to find out," Beckett says, turning the steering wheel and pumping her foot on the brake.

"We're here."


"Excuse me, Ma'am, do you have the room number for a Richard Castle? We need to put him in protective custody," Esposito says sternly.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid I can't let you see the patient."

"You don't understand, uh,—" Esposito peers at the nurse's name tag, "Sally Ann. But there's been a threat against his life. And me and my partner," he nods his head at Ryan, "We've been sent to guard the patient until further notice."

Sally Ann clutches at her chest dramatically. "My goodness!"

"That's our cue," Beckett says from outside, bringing her hand down from her earpiece and motions at Lanie. They push the gurney from the morgue van and enter through the sliding doors. They're both wearing her scrubs and doctor's coats. Nobody gives them a second glance.

"He might get killed," Ryan presses.

"But that's just it, you see. He's scheduled to be taken off life support in an hour," Sally Ann says.

Beckett gives Esposito and Ryan a thumbs up as she and Lanie pass the nurse's station. The sound of their arguing fades as the two of them round the corner and roll the gurney towards the elevator.

Beckett jogs ahead to press the button, glancing nervously at her watch. They were cutting it close.

The doors open and Beckett hurriedly grabs the end of the gurney and helps Lanie load it inside. Beckett closes her eyes in relief when the doors close quickly and the elevator begins to slowly rise.

"Do we have everything for the mobile transfer?"

"I triple-checked the supplies," Lanie says soothingly.

Beckett taps her foot impatiently. "I can't mess this up, Lanie."

"The coast is clear," Castle says, appearing next to them.

"No one's in your room?" she asks. "Where's your family?"

"Probably caught in the same traffic we were," Castle grumbles.

"Is Writer Boy, here?" Lanie asks.

"Writer Boy?" Castle scoffs.

"He says his room his clear."

The elevator dings when it arrives at the sixth floor.

She and Lanie move the gurney out and Beckett looks up and down the hall, making sure no one sees them before she opens the door to Castle's room.

They quickly roll the gurney in place next to his bed and then pause, assessing the mess of wires connected to his body.

"Oh, he's cute," Lanie says, smirking. Castle grins smugly.

"Lanie!"

"Right."

Her eyes travel over the tubes and wires, her head nodding as she thinks.

"You didn't mention what you're doing with my body once you get it out of here," Castle says.

"Lanie says we can store your body in the morgue van with enough machines and supplies to last until we find you another space. It'll give us more time to figure out how to get you back," she whispers under her breath.

"Okay," Lanie says out loud and Beckett listens expectantly. "Lift under his shoulders and I'll grab his legs. We need to move him before I reconnect everything."

"Got it," Beckett says, maneuvering herself and reaching under Castle's arms.

"That tickles!" Castle squeals and Beckett pauses.

"You feel that?" she asks.

Lanie shifts his legs onto the gurney.

"Just you," he says.

Lanie glances at Beckett.

"Hello?"

Beckett shakes her head, breaking from her thoughts. "I'm here, sorry." She takes a breath and picks Castle's torso up with a herculean effort. She stumbles a little, the weight of him tipping her over. Lanie comes to her rescue and, together, they situate the rest of his body onto the gurney. Then, Lanie begins to methodically rewire Castle's life support to their mobile equipment.

His heart monitor begins to beep erratically.

"What's wrong?" Beckett asks, panic squeezing her lungs.

"Nothing, nothing," Lanie assures, "It's just his breathing tube."

"What?"

"Just my breathing tube?" Castle squeaks.

Lanie reattaches his tube to the mobile ventilator with ease and takes a step back, holding her hands up.

"Done," she says.

Beckett unfreezes, a spike of adrenaline rushing through her veins, and reaches for the gurney's railing.

"Let's go," she says.

She walks backward, guiding the gurney.

"Beckett, watch out!" Lanie cries out.

But it's too late, and Beckett bowls into Dr. Davidson, just entering the room. He crashes to the ground. Beckett puts a hand over her mouth.

"I am so sorry," she gushes, reaching for his hand. He looks at her in confusion but accepts her hand and she helps him into a standing position.

"Who are you?" he asks and then looks behind her at the gurney. His eyes flick between Lanie and her. "What's going on here?"

Beckett clears her throat and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. They had planned for this.

"We're transferring the patient," she says calmly.

"To where?"

"Protective custody. We're with WITSEC," she says.

"Witness protection? I haven't heard anything about this," he says, his mouth turning down.

"Mr. Castle is in danger," Lanie says.

"I understand," he says evenly, "But there's a protocol for these things. I'm going to make a call."

He dials and holds the phone to his ear. Beckett shares a worried glance with Lanie. This was not part of the plan.

"You look familiar. Weren't you here last week?" he asks.

"You have me confused with someone else," Beckett says, terror clawing at her chest. He knew.

"Hold on," he says slowly. He closes the phone, cutting off the call, understanding suddenly dawning on his face.

"You're not WITSEC."

"Lanie?" Beckett says.

"Yeah?"

"Time to go."

"Copy."

Beckett pushes the doctor out of the way and he stumbles into the hallway.

"Hey! You can't take him!" he shouts. He attempts to snag the gurney, finding a grip for a moment. They tug him back and forth.

"Castle, could you—?" she asks desperately.

"On it," he says before she can finish. He vanishes into the doctor and struggles with him until Dr. Davidson stops moving and then retracts his hand from the gurney. She and Lanie spring into action, pushing the gurney into an open elevator.

Castle rejoins them as soon as the doors close.

"That was too close," Beckett says, breathing heavily.

"What the hell just happened out there?" Lanie asks.

"Castle gave us the supernatural assist," Beckett says.

"Supernatural what now?"

Beckett waves her off. "Once we get off this elevator, we have to pass by the nurse's station again. The doctor is probably calling for security right now and we need to look normal, got it?"

Lanie nods her head, taking a breath.

"Got it," she says.

The elevator dings again, and the doors open.

"Katherine?"

Beckett's heart sinks at the sound of Martha's voice. The redhead's standing in front of the elevator with Alexis and Meredith.

"Is that—?" Martha asks, her eyes widening when she sees Castle's body on the gurney.

"Ricky," Meredith gasps.

Lanie looks at her for further instruction.

"Push," she orders and Lanie nods. The redheads step out of their way as they unload the gurney from the elevator.

"Where are you going with him?" Meredith asks. "I thought we were doing this upstairs."

"It's been canceled," Beckett says flatly.

"Canceled?"

An alarm starts ringing and a voice crackles over the intercom.

"We have a Code Yellow. All security guards perform lockdown procedure."

Beckett and Lanie slow down, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm assuming that's for us," Beckett says, deflating.

"Honey?"

"What?" Beckett snaps.

"We have a problem."

Lanie points at Castle's heart monitor which is beeping too fast.

"What's happening?"

Lanie looks at her solemnly as she nods at the ventilator.

"His breathing tube is gone. The doctor must've accidentally snagged it upstairs."

"Kate!"

Castle.

She whips her head to find him standing across from her, but something's wrong with him. His color his dissolving and she can see right through him.

"Stay with me, Castle," she cries out.

He reaches out to her and she places her hand in the air to meet his, but his hand fades away before touching hers. Fear constricts her heart as her eyes find his in panic. She glances at his body helplessly, the heart monitor beeping faster, alarms blaring, and the sound of running feet coming down the hall becoming louder and closer.

He's disappearing.

"Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?"

"It's pulling me away," he says, his voice sounding like a distant echo.

He's vanishing right in front of her and she can't stop it. She can't save him. Everything around her dims, and she locks her gaze with his. For a split second, the chaos is nonexistent. It's just them.

"I love you," she whispers, "I love you, Rick."

He smiles at her, her favorite lopsided grin.

She blinks and the world crashes back down on her again. The sounds are quiet, except for a long clinical beep that fills her head, loud and cruel—the sound of Castle's heart monitor flatlining. Her eyes dart around the room, searching for him. For his spirit. But...

No.

She feels a hand slip into hers, and she finds Martha giving her a look of shared grief and no—this wasn't over. He couldn't...he wasn't gone.

Not like this.

She releases her hand from Martha's and leans over the gurney to cradle his face.

Adrenaline pumps through her veins as she lowers her face to his and captures his lips with hers, a desperate and loving caress. She pours herself into him, kissing him deeply.

She eventually breaks away from him, stroking his stubble and lets her tears fall on him.

"Castle, please," she whispers, "Come back to me."

She lays her head on his chest and closes her eyes, blocking everything out. She feels a hand tugging at her shoulder but she doesn't want to move. She can't.

"Ma'am, we need you to step away," says a voice, but she's crying and she can't. Her Castle is gone.

"C'mon, Beckett, it's time to go," another voice says and strong arms are pulling her off him.

"Javi, let me go," she cries out, trying to wrestle from Esposito but he holds onto her, murmuring soothing nonsense into her ear.

She falls limply into him, broken. He was gone. She failed.

Esposito props her up and begins to move her towards an exit.

"Wait!" Martha shouts and Kate lifts her head.

"Look," the redhead says, pointing at his heart monitor. Kate pushes herself off Esposito and he lets her go, the loud beeping of Castle's heart monitor now echoing in the hall.

She gasps back a sob of relief and joins Martha who grasps her hand.

"I'm sorry," Beckett says and Martha shakes her head, speechless, and squeezes her hand warmly.

And then they watch, entranced, as Castle's eyes flutter slowly open, and he squints, the harsh fluorescent light too bright.

"Where am I?" he rasps, his face folding together in pain as he tries to sit up.

Martha glances at Kate nervously. "You're in the hospital, Richard. You had an accident."

He coughs, a big hacking thing, so a nurse rushes up to him, handing him a water. He takes it gratefully.

"How long was I out?" he asks once he finishes drinking and frowns when he notices the audience of people around him.

"You were in a coma for a long time," Martha says quietly.

"A year," Kate adds and Castle finally looks at her. Her heart leaps in her chest with joy.

"Are you my doctor?" he asks and Kate forgets how to breathe.

"Richard? It's Kate. Don't you remember, Kate?" Martha asks.

His eyes cloud with confusion when he looks at her and his eyes search her face for a sign of familiarity. He moves his head side-to-side, a silent no.

The world suddenly slows around her, and her body feels numb.

He doesn't remember.

"The apartment? The book? Nothing?" she whispers.

He looks at her blankly. She lets go of the rail on his gurney and backs away, everyone staring at her. They bend their heads to the nearest person and whisper, but she can't hear them, a loud-thumping in her ears the only sound in her head.

Her friends call out to her but she moves in a haze, everything fading around her. The automatic doors of the hospital entrance open in front of her and her feet carry her out, her head pounding and her heart breaking.

He doesn't remember.


She opens the door to the loft and walks in, shrugging off the doctor's coat. She took a cab home, and turned her phone off for the entire ride to give herself some time to think. To plan what to do next.

She stands in the middle of the living room and holds herself for a moment. The place feels empty. Too big. Pressing her with its emptiness.

No more Castle.

In the kitchen, she reaches under the sink, eager fingers finding purchase with the hidden bottle of tequila. She yanks the top off and takes a long hit, her throat burning as tears well up in her eyes.

She wipes at her mouth and nose when she's done, feeling weak and hollowed out. The alcohol buzzes warmly in her veins and her head feels a little foggy. She takes another hit and then another, eventually clumsily placing the bottle back under the sink and stumbling her way towards the bedroom.

She stops in the office and stares at the shades, and decides to open them. She was already spiraling, hard. She runs a finger across several notecards of her mother's case, the force of her movement causing them to fall to the floor. A delirious giggle slips from her mouth as she bends down to pick up the fallen pieces. She moves to tape them back on the shade, but then she pauses, deliberating.

I don't want you to work it alone.

She can't get him out of her head.

She starts tearing down the photos and the newspaper clippings. Damn him.

Tape gets stuck to her fingers and she tugs at, but it refuses to unstick. She finally tears the pieces away and surveys the mess she's created. Damn him for leaving her.

She unearths a box from behind a chair and begins throwing papers and bits and pieces of her mother's case into it haphazardly. She pushes everything from the desk into the box. She takes her books from the shelves and stuffs them in, the box suddenly overflowing. She closes it, cramming everything down and seals it shut with tape. She keeps taping and taping.

Damn him for forgetting her.

She feels restless now, her body shaking with unresolved energy. She needs more boxes. She goes upstairs and starts pulling out the ones she stored in the guest room.

Soon, Beckett finds herself packing everything up, her books, kitchen things, and clothes. Everything. Her head begins to clear.

She doesn't stop, doesn't let herself think about the man she left behind in the hospital.

It's not until well into the middle of the night does she stop and turn her phone back on. She has twenty missed calls and texts from her friends worrying about her.

She shoots a quick text back to them just so they won't keep bothering her about it. She freezes when she spots a voicemail from Martha blinking in the corner of her inbox.

With a shaky breath, she presses play and presses the phone against her ear.

"I wanted to let you know Richard is doing well, and they're going to keep him here for a couple days more days for observation. He's going to have to go through intense physical training to regain muscle mass and…" the older woman trails off in her clinical debriefing.

"Thank you. For bringing him back to me. To Alexis. I don't know how you did it, but I know I have you to thank."

"Uh, I have to go. The doctor needs to speak with me. But, Katherine?" Martha pauses.

"You should come see him." The message cuts off after that and Beckett plays it three more times before she starts choking on the sobs heaving from her chest.

Damn him for making her love him.


2 Months Later

Castle opens the door to the loft and shuffles in, his mother trailing behind him.

"Alexis needs to be picked up from school later."

"Yes, Richard," his mother says with a calm smile.

"And the moving truck is coming at three to bring the rest of your stuff here."

"Darling, breathe."

Castle huffs and smiles at his mother. He doesn't know why he's so nervous. He looks around the space and inhales deeply. Everything is okay.

"The place was empty for most of the year, but we rented it out towards the end for a couple months," his mother says, dropping the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter.

Castle absorbs his surroundings, the light pouring in from the windows, the familiar layout, furniture, and knick knacks all untouched and unchanged. But something feels different.

"Did you move something?"

"No. Is something wrong, darling?"

"I just have strange feeling something's missing."

"Everything's here. Just as you left it."

"Guess it's just been a long time."

He sets his bag down and removes his coat and joins his mother in the kitchen. He helps her unload the groceries.

"Mother?

"Hmm?"

"I've been meaning to ask…"

He rolls a lemon between his hands.

"Yes?"

"Who was that woman who revived me? I heard the nurses talking and they said she wasn't a doctor. That she pretended to be one to break me out."

"Richard," Martha says warningly. They didn't talk about how he woke up from a coma.

"You know who she is," he says.

"Yes."

"I want to talk to her," he says, setting the lemon down. "Can you put me in touch with her?"

She doesn't look at him, instead opening the fridge to put away the milk. "I don't think that's wise."

"Why not? She saved my life and I don't know why."

She turns to face him. "Could you please stop asking?"

"Mother."

"She wants to be left alone."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

Martha looks at him and sighs.

"She—"

The doorbell rings loudly and Martha's brows scrunch together.

"Are you expecting someone?" she asks.

"Maybe the moving men came early," Castle says as he makes his way to the door.

He opens it and finds a bike messenger on the other side.

"Are you Richard Castle?"

"Yes, who's asking?"

The messenger pulls a legal envelope from his bag and holds it out to him.

"You've been served."

"What?"

The messenger turns and leaves without further explanation. Castle's mouth falls slightly open.

"Who is it, darling?" Martha asks.

Castle lets the door close as he reaches inside the envelope and tugs out the documents. His eyes scan the words and his heart rate picks up.

"Richard?"

"It's Meredith," he says.

"She does remember signing the divorce papers last week, right?"

Castle looks up from the papers, his eyes a steely gray.

"She remembers," he says tightly.

"What do you mean?" Martha asks, leaving the groceries on the counter and going to him.

He holds out the envelope for her, his face hardening.

"She's suing for full custody of Alexis."


A/N: Thank you to all of those who reviewed, checked-in, and continued to follow this story. You guys are the best. As always, let me know what you think! 😊