I'm feeling a little bit better more like myself, Randy and I are nowhere near where we should be but I know with time we can heal, we've done it before we can do it again. He made a huge sacrifice for me in asking Colt to come, I know this and I am so grateful for his actions. It doesn't erase all the pain but at least now we are on the right path. Colt is up the road at John's so is Cody I haven't seen them yet not sure I want to see Cody but I know eventually I will have to deal with him. He is Colt's husband and if I want Colt as a friend then I need to deal with Cody. Hope is an amazing thing and I think for the first time I have hope, not just with Colt and Randy but with the future. Randy will track down Dean of that I am sure then we can move on with our life. Dean will be handled and Randy and I can fix whatever is broken between us. The only thing is I'm not sure Randy and I have ever been totally whole, it seems that there has always been something off in our relationship so fixing it may be incredibly difficult.

Randy wonders into the living room where I am currently watching a Walking Dead marathon, he rolls his eyes at me and I can't help but smile. "You know there are other shows in existence." I laugh and pull him down beside of me snuggling into him.

"I do know this Randal but why mess with perfection." He kisses the top of my head and wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"John called invited us up for dinner, something relaxing, a chill evening he said." I nod and sigh not sure if I really want to go. Right here, right at this moment seems perfect.

"Sounds good" He turns my head and I smile again.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to go." I roll my eyes at him and give him a light kiss.

"I want to, it's just I'm not a big fan of having you and Cody in the same room. Hypocritical I know but after what he said…" I trail off knowing Randy has no clue what he said so I leave it alone. "I miss the kids." Randy pulls out his phone and the next thing I know I am video chatting with the little ones, granted Tristian just babbles, but it still feels good to see them. I know they aren't safe here with us yet but hopefully soon we will all be back together. Randy had wondered off returning a little bit later as I end the call. He has my phone and I glance at his face, to say he is wearing a stormy expression is an understatement. I figure it's probably something from Dean and I just don't want to know. So instead I slide into his lap trying to lighten the mood.

"I'll kill him for you." I blink startled and take Randy's face in my hands.

"Who Dean?" He shakes his head no and I struggle to come up with who he is talking about.

"Cody, I will gladly do it." I sigh and take my phone from his hand seeing a recently ended conversation with John. John could never keep anything from his best friend so apparently Randy knows now.

"Let it go, he was angry, is angry and lashed out at me." Randy studies me for a moment before pulling me into a crushing hug.

"He said he wanted Dean to kill you, that he hopes it. He has no right to speak to you the way he did. You know I don't love him right?" I chuckle and kiss Randy very gently he returns the kiss and then pulls away pouting.

"I know, okay I know it's not about either of them. It's us, we will get through this, I believe that just let this thing with Cody go. He is not worth the energy. He is trying to hold on to Colt and it's all falling apart for him so he lashed out, we've both done it too." He nods and rest his forehead against my own.

"How do you forgive so easily?" I shrug I don't really at used I never did in the past but since I fell in love with a viper forgiveness is a huge lesson I've learn. After all if I couldn't let go of eighty percent of what Randy does then it would never work.

"It's a talent, I'm going to go ready for dinner. Try not to kill Cody over the first course." I slide from Randy's arms and watch as he stands and heads off into the gym. I go and take a long shower, when I exit I study the bruises on my skin. Bruises from Randy when we play, I actually love these mars they remind me of his dominance, his love, and most of all how fiercely he needs me. I dress and bite at my lip, I never wear my red leather collar in public but we will be around friends tonight and perhaps it will make a point to Cody. I grab it from the shelf and head down to find Randy.

My husband is in the kitchen when I enter, his eyes immediately follow me as I cross to him. The collar dangling from my hand, I hold it out to him and he takes it wrapping it around my neck. "You know we don't have time to go downstairs." I laugh and lean back against him.

"I want to wear this tonight. I like wearing it." I can feel the smirk against my neck, and then he nips at me lightly. I laugh and swat at him. "Let's go don't want to be late." We drive down the short road to John's house, enjoying the island's coastal breeze. I can feel the nip in the air and wonder if we should expect rain soon. I see the security following us as we move and I wonder if after this Randy will ever let me go anywhere without being watched.

When we arrive at John's everyone is outback on the deck that overlooks the ocean, "Hey" I call and everyone turns towards us, Colt walks over and we hug, there is no awkwardness just the comfort of friends. "How you doing?"
"I'm okay Punkers, how are you?" I shrug not wanting to lie to anyone.

"Not great, far from doing okay. Working on it." Colt chuckles and ruffles my hair.

"Wow honesty, it's a miracle." I roll my eyes and flop down into one of the chairs. John is working on the grill, Bryan is puttering around setting up some stuff, though John keeps grabbing him to give him a kiss so he is rather distracted. Cody is sitting off to the side staring straight ahead. I watch my husband head his way and go to speak, wanting to stop him from doing something stupid.

"Stand up" I hear the growl in Randy's voice and cringe looking up at Colt nodding towards Cody. Colt just shrugs and takes a seat beside of me. I watch as Cody stands and my husband swings, Cody doesn't try to stop the blow and I cringe knowing how strong Randy is and how that punch had to hurt. "You deserve that, if you ever talk to my husband like you did again than no one will find your fucking body." Cody nods and I see his lips moving, I can't hear him but I can tell he is saying I'm sorry. Randy then joins John at the grill.

"You could have helped your husband out." I turn to Colt and he just shrugs.

"He deserved that, hell I figured it would be worse. So did he, he knows what he said was wrong and in the heat of the moment. He wants to apologize to you, he will when he gets up the courage to come over here." I nod and study Colt, he looks tired but seems happier. "Wanna talk to me?" Again I nod, I do I need his advice but there are a lot of people around, he grabs my hand and I follow him down the stairs to the beach. I know Randy is watching us as we settled into a spot facing each other in the sand.

"Okay so we have privacy talk, what's in that pretty head of yours." I sigh and look out over the water.

"I'm seeing a therapist, well I saw her yesterday. I'm also gonna try some medication. Randy thinks it could help, I'm not so sure but I'm trying. It's kind of hard to want to talk to somebody though." Cot nods and waits. "I'm angry, or sad, or just detached all the time lately. I keep lashing out at Randy, then I try to fix it by throwing myself at him. I'm afraid Colt."

"Of what?" I shrug and then shake my head at the lie.

"Everything, what is Randy and I can't fix it this time, what if therapy and medications don't change anything. Randy is patient but will he still love me when I'm so fucking lost. My brain never shuts the fuck up, hell I'm paranoid as fuck sitting out here in the open, what if Dean is nearby. I have nightmares all the time of Paul, sometimes even with what Randy did. I'm tired so tired and sometimes I think it would be better just to give up. Leave Randy, go into hiding, hell maybe just end it all." Colt takes my hand and I look at him.

"You're an idiot"

"Thanks that is so fucking helpful!"

"Well you are, Randy is not going anywhere the man is devoted no matter how you act. He loves you, and loves you even when you are lost. Therapy and medications may not be the fix you need but something will be. It takes time, it's not easy, but if you work at it the feeling of being lost will go away. Being paranoid is a good thing, you have a stalker and last time when you didn't take it seriously you got hurt. I love you and if you ever think of ending it all come find me okay." I nod feeling a little better after just talking to Colt I missed this.

"How are you and Cody doing?" Colt rolls his eyes pulling me to my feet we walk to the edge of the water.

"Well he's here, I had left him but decided to try to work it out so invited him here. We are sleeping in different rooms but at least we are talking. We are not at the point where I am going to defend his honor but it's getting better." I give Colt a hug and head back to the deck going and sitting beside of Cody.

"I'm sorry" he mutters ad I chuckle.

"Forgiven but let's be real for a second." He takes a deep breath and I think he is waiting for me to hit him too.

"Colt loves you, the problems in your relationship are your own fault not mine. Colt is a family guy, he wants kids, has always wanted kids. So if you are never going to want children then walk away." Cody sighs and turns to face me.

"I want children, just not right this minute. He seems to think we need to find a surrogate right now, I'm still out there wrestling I want to be able to be at home when we decided to have kids. He just wants it now." I smirk and laugh out loud.

"Go talk to him, make him listen. He is stubborn but he'll see things your way if you talk, not yell, not fight, talk." Cody stands and walks down to the beach, by now I've had enough of compassion for the night. I walk over to Randy and look at him.

"What Punkers?" I glance past him to the table behind and see the bottle of wine raising an eyebrow. He glances behind him and takes my hand leading me away. Yes I admit it sobriety is an issue for me. Drinking would make me feel better, even Randy knows I shouldn't so he goes to a cooler and pulls out a Pepsi pressing it to my hand. "We can leave if you want." I shake my head.

"I'm good just need a few minutes of alone time."

"Sex isn't a Band-Aid." I laugh and sap his arm lightly.

"Not that kind of alone time, time by myself. I'm gonna go inside for a few." He kisses me lightly and lets me go. I settle on the couch and flip through my phone, deciding to go online I check my twitter. After a while my thoughts are quieted from all the support I am receiving from fans. I stand to head back outside when my phone goes off. I see I have a new message, this time he doesn't hide his number. I swallow hard and open the message, scanning it. You are going to come to me, I'm done waiting. There is a picture attached and I feel my breathing hitch when it loads. Dean is holding my son, he has my son. My handshakes and feel my vision begin to fade. Where I text trying to remain calm.

Chicago come home Punk, I want to play in your special room. I feel my legs getting weak, feel my heart pounding in my chest. Let my son go. I open the door to the deck walking to Randy, he stands and I can see the worry all over his face. Come alone, if you don't know one will ever see this little boy again. I will kill him. "Tristian" I whisper to Randy "he has Tristian." Then I scream, I scream until I can't any longer. Randy's arms are around me lowering me to the wood and I feel myself shake. Refusing to let Randy take the phone from my hand I shakily write out one last message. Sending it before the phone is taken from me. I'll be there. The darkness hovering around the edge of my vision takes over and I am at last in blissful darkness and I lose touch with the world.


Dean's POV

I laugh with glee, looking over at the crying baby. I grab a bottle and stick it in his mouth, I have no intention of hurting someone this innocent if I don't have to. No I will have my revenge, I will have Punk and no one will stop me. I settle the kid into his crib as I wonder through Punk and Randy's home. Heading down stairs I enter the play room, I had to pry the door open but now I know how to hurt Punk the most. I will make him play with me in this room, make him play while Randy watches. He'll come with Punk of that I have no doubt and he'll watch as I break his husband over and over again.


Thank you for reading, please review. Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter!