Wow.

Not only did this get 100 reviews, it exceeded it. I'm just blown away. Thank you SO much. I love you all. I'm overwhelmed.

This is beta'd by Nija Assasian who is AMAZING and I can't thank her enough for everything!

Also, because I need help with writing the later part of this story, I have a question for you all. What is your favourite outfit that Kurt's ever worn? Ever. I'm talking season 1 through to 3. Personally, I loved the assymetrical jumper in 'Perfect' and the outfit that he wore in season 2 when Dave apologises to him for the bullying. So what's your favourite? Let me know! :D

Thanks so much for reading this and please, take a second to review. It'll get you an exclusive preview of the next chapter :)


Chapter nine


It was 2 months since Kurt's beating and he was slowly healing. His and Blaine's relationship was still in the early stages, but they were going strong and seemed solid, much to the surprise of their peers. They'd defied the odds and continued to do so.

And physically, their relationship was going smoothly. In Blaine's books, anyway. To Kurt, it was agonisingly slow. In fact, he was pretty sure that glaciers moved at a quicker pace than their sex life did. Kurt kept forgetting that Blaine was a virgin; he'd never dated one before – save for Karofsky, but he'd tried desperately to remove those 5 months from his memory - and he could see why Blaine was nervous. They'd fooled around, but as soon as things got serious, Blaine would always pull away. It was both sexually frustrating and adorable, though Kurt didn't think that a good product could be formed from both of those things. But then again, Blaine had changed his opinions on a lot of things.

Namely, himself. Sure, to the outside world, his confidence knew no bounds and the only thing bigger than his hair was his egotistical personality, but that wasn't who Kurt really was. And right now, he could only be himself while he was with Blaine. The thought both thrilled and terrified him.

With the exception of his mother and father, Kurt had never been totally dependent on another person before. After the death of his parents, he'd turned to himself for comfort and any child-like dependency had taken a sharp U-turn. The only person he could truly rely on was himself - his 'friends' and class mates were a constant reminder that he only had himself.

But now, things were changing.

He'd also never had another person be completely dependent on him, and it was a bigger responsibility than he'd first realised. Before Blaine, he could do crazy shit and no one would care. No one would even know. But now there was a conscience, a voice in the back of his head that wondered what Blaine would do and what he would want Kurt to do. Instead of doing things for himself, he was acting on behalf of Blaine as well. For the first time in months, there were two opinions, two hearts, two people involved.

He wasn't alone anymore.


To Blaine Anderson, Friday 18th March was a regular day. He didn't even consider that it could be something more. It was simply a flip of the calendar, a new date in the margin. Noticeable, but not worth bothering with.

So when Kurt came into school dressed entirely in black, Blaine didn't question it. He didn't think twice about it. It was only Kurt's behaviour that caught his attention. Kurt was…different. He was quiet, reserved, distant and detached; a completely different entity to the person that Blaine had met all those weeks ago and entirely different to the person he was beginning learning about.

When he'd tried to question Kurt about it, he'd been unresponsive. Blaine had chalked it down to a bad mood – of which Kurt was particularly prone to – but when he saw his boyfriend tracing his tattoo with pale, shaking fingers, he knew it was something more.

Kurt was detained at lunch time for lack of cooperation in class – something which the boy hadn't even batted an eyelid at, though Blaine had been appalled – and Blaine used the opportunity to approach Santana, hoping that she could aid him somewhat with regards to what was wrong with Kurt.

She was standing by her locker, Cheerio's skirt swinging way above her knees, flicking through a folder. "What's up, triangles?" She addressed him without looking up from the item in her hands.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "Triangles?"

"Your eyebrows, idiot. They're identical to your sisters and frankly insulting. I'd hold you down and shave them off myself if I didn't think Kurt would whip my ass for it. He probably finds them endearing, or some sentimental crap like that." Santana said, sounding pointedly disinterested in whatever Blaine had to say.

"Right, well, Santana, I –"

"So, Curls, which do you think would be the best commiserations card to send Kurt? You know this stuff, right?" She held up a card with a rain cloud and another with flowers for inspection.

Blaine looked at her in confusion. "Commiserations? Why, what's happened?"

Santana's gave him a sharp look. "You mean you don't know? This is why I disapproved of Kurt getting a boyfriend. You're all useless!" She exclaimed, shutting her folder with a snap, having selected the card with the rain cloud. She poked an accusing finger into his chest. "Listen, Captain Oblivious, I'm assuming that you know that Kurt's mom died, because if he's kept that from you, you might as well not even know his name." Blaine nodded, frantically. Santana smiled. "Good. There's hope for you yet. Well, Kurt's mom knocked off 10 years ago today. He always takes it pretty hard, even before he turned into a super-smoking badass. But before he'd just cry and shit, now he sets fire to stuff and has totally hot comfort sex and…well, just carry around a fire extinguisher and condoms, okay?" Santana advised, inspecting her nails.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Blaine dropped his eyes to the ground, feeling hurt. Why would Kurt have kept this from him? Surely he couldn't have thought that Blaine wouldn't care?

"Suck it up, Anderson!" Santana slapped his arm indignantly. "Listen, I see that you dress like an extra from a failing 80's sitcom and walk around with a doe-eyed expression on your face that honestly makes me want to slap you, but Kurt seems to like what he sees. Therefore, you need to be good to him. You hear?" Blaine nodded, taking a subconscious step backwards. "So whatever insecurities you have about him not being into you, can it for today, okay? Kurt doesn't need it; he's got enough shit on his plate right now. He acts all tough but days like today, he needs someone to be there for him. It's usually me and Puck getting him pissed, but today I think he'd rather it be you. So step up to the mark, Eyebrows. If you're not cut out for it, there are a ton of sexually frustrated guys who'd be happy to take Kurt for a spin. You've got something good. So don't screw it up, Anderson, or I will take the razor blades that I hide in my hair and end you. I already have to put up with your sister in Glee club, so any more infliction of those eyebrows on my delicate soul and I will snap. Got it?"

Blaine could only nod, dumbfounded as Santana sashayed away, everyone parting to make way for her in a way that was similar to how they acted around Kurt. But he didn't have time for that. Besides, he thought, hurrying off to the cafeteria; he had a lot of lost time to make up for.


When Kurt left school that day, he was unsurprised to see Blaine perched demurely on his motorbike, grinning at him. It'd become a regular practise for them, but it never failed to make Kurt smile, even if he did conceal it behind fiddling with his hair.

Blaine jumped off of the seat, holding out both of his hands for Kurt to take as he approached. He pulled him in for a kiss, knowing how much Kurt liked it when Blaine indulged in PDA, something that he'd originally been nervous about.

"Hey," Kurt greeted, pulling away, "why the warm welcome?"

"I need an excuse to kiss you now? You're seriously making me work for this," Blaine teased, dropping his bag by the motorbike and encircling his arms around Kurt's waist.

The other boy chuckled. "Yeah, right. You've got it easy, Anderson, don't deny it."

"You're worth working for," Blaine told him, voice sincere. He knew that confessions such as this often left Kurt tongue-tied, so he quickly continued, "And I know what today is."

Kurt opened his mouth to question him, but Blaine cut him off.

"Santana told me. But you should have told me." Blaine said, trying not to sound as hurt as he was, though he knew his face must say it all.

Kurt was looking up at him beseechingly. "I just…I didn't know how," he admitted, "What's a good way to say, 'hey, my mom died today'?"

"The only thing worse would be to not say it," Blaine replied, voice soft, "I want you to trust me, Kurt. I want you to be able to tell me anything."

Kurt reached out a hand to cup Blaine's cheek, the action uncharacteristically affectionate. "I've already told you more than anyone else, Blaine. This is new to me, remember? Having someone to talk to, it takes some getting used to. I just didn't want you to look at me pityingly. I couldn't stand for you to pity me," Kurt said, sighing.

Blaine tucked a finger under Kurt's chin, forcing the boy to look at him. "I don't pity you, Kurt. I think you're amazing and I want to share everything with you. Even the bad stuff, like today."

Kurt gave him a small smile. "With me, there's not much good stuff," he admitted.

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care," Blaine told him sincerely, leaning in and pressing their lips together.


"I know it's pathetic, but I always visit her," Kurt explained as they drove. They'd opted to take Blaine's car when Kurt had requested a road trip, though he had yet to tell Blaine exactly where they were going.

Blaine nodded at this. "It's not pathetic, it's sweet."

Kurt groaned. "That's even worse!"

"Not to me, it's not," Blaine replied, smiling at him.

"She's buried in Lima Memorial. Do – do you mind if you come with me? To visit her, that is. If not, you could just drop me off or something but I'd just…I'd like you to come. But don't feel obliged. Oh God, please stop me," Kurt babbled, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. Blaine supposed that on days like this, he didn't bother with keeping up appearances. He'd also noticed that Kurt's voice was closer to normal than usual, something that he highly approved of. The idea of Kurt thinking that he had to repress the very pieces of his personality that made him unique both appalled and saddened Blaine.

Blaine reached over and tangled their fingers together over the centre consol. "Of course, Kurt. I'd be honoured to meet your mom."

Kurt's responding smile was blinding.

"Hi, Mom," Kurt greeted, kneeling on the well-kept grass in front of a tombstone. Blaine took a moment to read the inscription as Kurt spoke. It read 'Elizabeth Hummel, 1970 – 2002, beloved daughter, wife and mother.' Blaine had never lost anyone close to him before, not in the way Kurt had. It would have killed him to lose a father, let alone both of them. Kurt's bravery and courage and strength never ceased to baffle Blaine, but it was on days such as this that it really mystified him. How had Kurt done it? How had he pulled through? How had he managed to keep going?

Courage.

It was a word that had always perplexed Blaine. He, himself, was completely devoid of the coveted trait, but there was something about the word that gave him hope. Having run from bullies and into the arms of a private school that promised protection, instead of staying and fighting, Blaine was probably the least courageous person in the whole of Ohio. But he'd always been fixated with it. To be happy, to marry Neil Patrick Harris and to live in New York, they were all wishes and dreams of Blaine, but to have courage was his first ever hope and he had yet to give up on it. Kurt gave him courage and that was possibly one of the main things that Blaine loved so deeply about the boy. He gave him hope that things would get better and even in the darkest of times, Kurt had pulled through and he gave Blaine hope to do the same. Blaine just hoped that they could do so together; that in the dark times, Kurt would call upon Blaine to help him. Although he was courageous and seemingly fearless, Blaine hoped that one day Kurt would adjust to the idea of sharing his life with someone in the way that Blaine dreamed that the pair of them one day would. He hoped that one day; Kurt would share his courage - and heart – with Blaine.

"Mom, this is Blaine," Kurt said, pulling the other boy from his dream-like reverie.

"Hi, Mrs Hummel," Blaine greeted, kneeling down beside Kurt on the grass. Normally, he'd have thought that two boys talking to a tombstone were either blind drunk or certifiably insane but there was something about this that was so intimate and it was so wonderful to share it with Kurt that Blaine didn't even think twice.

They talked for hours. They'd never been short of conversation topics in the past but there was something about this afternoon that showed Blaine another side of Kurt that he'd had yet to see. To Blaine, it was just another part to love. Love. There was no doubt in Blaine's mind that he loved the very bones of the boy sat beside him, but there was also the thrill and danger of saying the words aloud and acknowledging their meaning within the relationship that scared Blaine to the core. He knew that Kurt wouldn't reciprocate, but there was something so incredible about being so deeply in love with the boy that Blaine almost didn't care. It was so amazing to have fallen in love with Kurt that Blaine completely disregarded the point of his feelings being unrequited.

For now, he was content to be in love and at this moment, he didn't need anything more.

"Mom, Blaine and I need to go now but we'll be back to visit soon," Kurt gave Blaine a look to confirm this, to which the boy nodded eagerly, eliciting a smile from Kurt. "I love you," he said, running his fingertips over the top of the gravestone affectionately, his gaze of longing and heartache.

Blaine didn't speak; he allowed Kurt this one last moment with his mother before he had to return to a world in which she didn't exist. Before he had to lose her all over again.

There was a tangible difference between Kurt and Blaine in the minutes that followed, when they were returning to the car. It was almost as if Blaine had spoken his thoughts aloud at the graveyard. Something had changed but Blaine couldn't quite put his finger on what.

When they were back in the car, Kurt leant over to kiss Blaine and that's when he felt it, when he knew what was different. They had changed; right down to their kisses, things had shifted. There was no longer an urgency or any rush in their movements, it was as if they had acknowledged that the other wasn't going anywhere and they'd realised that they didn't have to rush anymore. They didn't have to be afraid anymore.

That wasn't to say that there was no passion in their actions, because there was so much of that divine quality in the kiss that Blaine felt his whole body tingle with the intense sensation of what he was feeling. He'd long since gotten used to the fireworks that erupted whenever he kissed Kurt but this was something else. This was acceptance. This was knowing that they had forever. This was starting something bigger than just a high school relationship. This was - dare he say it – love.

"What do you want to do now?" Blaine asked, gazing at Kurt adoringly as he pulled away.

Kurt appeared to be breathless but his next statement had so much conviction that Blaine didn't even think twice. "I want to go to your house."

He didn't have to ask to know what this meant. They'd considered the possibility of sex before – hell, Blaine had fantasied for hours over the idea – but in the past, it had seemed out of reach. A dream, as opposed to an actual possibility. But in this moment, it had never felt more real.

Everything was real. Everything made sense. Blaine wondered how it could have not had made sense like this before. Things had been thrown into clarity and there were no doubts in his mind anymore.

Blaine had had reservations about sex. There was something about giving yourself entirely to a person that had always both intimidated and intrigued him. In all of his life, he'd always hated appearing vulnerable and there seemed to be nothing more vulnerable than sex. It was handing yourself over to the possibility of rejection and hurt and heartbreak and humiliation. It was feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Blaine had never coped well with fear. But he wasn't afraid any more. How could he be? He was about to give himself entirely to the boy he loved more than anything else in the world. There was nothing to fear.

He'd also worried that sex would cheapen a relationship but in his mind now, sex could do nothing but solidify it. He was about to give Kurt something that nobody else was ever going to get. His everything. It was stupid to assume that a high school relationship would lead him to 'the one and only', but right now, this felt like everything and Blaine was more than willing to believe it until proven otherwise.


They sprinted through the front door to Blaine's house, breathing out a sigh of relief when they found it empty, although Blaine was surprised how quickly Kurt had become associated with his two fathers, who now regarded Kurt with extreme affection and warmth. He easily slotted into their family and although Kurt had yet to click with Rachel, Blaine had a feeling that he was close to winning everyone over.

It was only when they alone in Blaine's room that he hesitated. They lay on the bed, facing each other and touching in lingering movements, gazing deep into each other's eyes. "Are you sure?" Blaine asked, reaching out a hand to cup Kurt's cheek.

His eyes sparkled. "I've never been surer of anything. This is it, Blaine, I can feel it. I thought something was different because of Mom but it wasn't – it was you." Kurt said and Blaine instantly understood. Kurt felt it too; he'd registered the change that had occurred between the two of them. "I want to be able to make new memories on this day. I want to remember it for something amazing. And this isn't just a comfort thing, I swear. This is about me wanting to be with you in every way possible."

"I know, me too," Blaine replied, softly, "I just don't want to…disappoint you," he admitted, dropping his eyes to the mattress.

"Blaine," Kurt's voice was so affectionate and loving that Blaine looked up, startled, "you could never disappoint me. This isn't about disappointment. This is about us. But if you're not ready to take this step, I understand." Kurt told him, sounding completely sincere.

"I am," Blaine insisted, "I promise, I am. I mean, I'm nervous, sure, but honestly, Kurt, there's no one else that I'd rather give my first time to. No one."

Kurt's eye's shone with unshed tears. "I adore you," he admitted, tangling his fingers in the fine hair around the nape of Blaine's neck.

Blaine's breath hitched. This was the closest they'd ever gotten to love. Voice thick with emotion, he replied, "Words can't even describe what I feel for you, Kurt."

The boy looked up at him, smiling softly. "Are you ready?" Kurt asked as Blaine hooked an arm around his waist, pulling their bodies together. Blaine could feel every inch of hard muscle that lay under Kurt's shirt and supressed a shiver.

"Are you?" Blaine retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Kurt burst out laughing. "Blaine, if that was your attempt at seduction, it really needs some work," he told him between fits of laughter.

Blaine pretended to look hurt, pulling away from Kurt. "I think I was very seductive," he replied, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend in a way that just made Kurt laugh more and Blaine couldn't contain his smile at the sound.

"Sure you are," he wriggled closer to him, pulling Blaine against his body. "I wish I'd saved my first time for you," Kurt murmured, resting his head against Blaine's shoulder.

"Don't worry, I have enough virginity to go around," Blaine replied, jokingly. But he was sincerely touched by the sentiment. Though he couldn't fathom – didn't even want to think about – how many people had slept with, Kurt wished Blaine had been the first. There was no accounting for mistakes, but the fact that Kurt wanted Blaine now was enough. The fact that Kurt had given up his old life for a new one with Blaine was more than enough. "No regrets this time, right?" Blaine continued, gazing deeply into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt smiled. "I'll never regret a second of my time with you, Blaine."

Blaine suddenly understood why Kurt got so tongue-tied every time he said something sentimental. There was something so profound about the person you love sharing sentiments of affection with you that made it impossible to fathom an eloquent response.

Kurt was watching his response with a knowing expression. "Tongue-tied?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Completely," Blaine admitted, "but it's only because I'm crazy about you."

Kurt smiled. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Blaine leant over and kissed him languidly, pressing him back into the mattress and pulling their bodies together. He'd long since marvelled over how their bodies fitted together perfectly, but it never ceased to amaze him. Nothing about Kurt ever ceased to amaze him. As they continued to kiss, clothing being removed, hands exploring and gasps and moans filling the bedroom, one thought filled Blaine's mind, amongst internal – and more often than not, external – exclamations of how amazing this was.

No regrets, just love.


TBC...

So, please review and include your favourite outfit that Kurt has ever worn on Glee! Thank you!