CHAPTER NINE

Dean noticed the angels' expressions were becoming more and more animated the longer he went without his powers. It reminded him of the future version of Cas he'd met. That man who was so different to the angel Cas was now. But it looked more and more like Cas was becoming that man, though thankful without the drugs and orgies. Dean wasn't sure how he felt about that. He'd always wanted Cas to get the stick out of his arse, but he missed that man who'd marched into his life three years ago. He wasn't the same innocent angel he was then.

But everyone changed with time. Life wore people down. It had certainly done that to him and Sammy, neither of them where the same men they were six years ago when they'd hit the road together in search of their father. Why should Cas be any different?

"I'm not leaving you Cas. We'll just have to figure this out, one way or another on our own." He got up from the bed and marched over to the chair in front of the door, taking a seat.

It was growing dark and the sound of catcalls were echoing out in the street. Dean hadn't moved from the chair in over six hours as he stood guardian over the powerless angel. Castiel had eaten just a single slice of pizza and was now lying back against the headboard in a pose he'd seen Dean adopt many times. With his feet crossed at the ankles and his hands folded in his lap.

The hunter in question hadn't said much, asking if he was alright mostly, though he never turned to meet his gaze. Castiel wished he still had his powers; it was strange not being able to feel Dean's every emotion. Even when he'd been striped to the bare minimum of abilities that one had remained. He'd still been able to feel the man's fear, desperation, discomfort and pain.

But Castiel realised to his surprise that he didn't need his ability to know what Dean was feeling. Just watching him told him all he needed to know. The way he fidgeted with the shotgun in his lap told Castiel he was nervous and desperate. The way his voice tightened when he asked after him, along with the way his tried not to jump when the catcall had started said he was worried.

The way he fidgeted in his chair from side to side was a clear sign of his discomfort and when he did move Castiel could hear the sharp intake of breath that meant he was in pain.

All these things Castiel could have fixed if he still had his powers. Guilt ripped at his insides like sharp knives. Guilt was most definitely the worst of the strengthened emotions. It wasn't just the guilt of having trapped Dean, Sam and Bobby in this town with no way out, but there was also the guilt of everything he'd done, the secrets he was keeping from Dean.

But he knew Dean would never understand. Dean tended to see everything in black and white. Right and wrong and Castiel wasn't going to risk losing his hunter. Guilt was all part of being human; he'd learnt that from his friends. They all had things they regretted. They all felt guilt over what they'd done in the past and they learnt to live with it. So could he.

Beside soon it would be over and hopefully Dean would never have to know the true extent of his betrayal. Castiel wasn't angel enough not to know that what he what doing was a betrayal. He'd help Crowley fake his death in order to keep the Winchesters off his trail. But it was done because the demon was the only one who could help him defeat Raphael and protect Dean. It was all for Dean.

Surely he would understand that when all was said and done. When he explained what he was doing, he'd understand. They had a bond that could never be broken. He would understand. He had to understand.

"Cas?"

Dean's rough tight voice broke into his guilty thoughts. "Yes Dean."

"I said are you alright?"

Castiel sighed. That was the five times he'd asked in the last ten minutes and though his concern made Castiel's heart tighten and his blood warm, it was slowly becoming infuriating. "Yes Dean."

"What's that tone for?" Dean snapped his head around to glare at the powerless angel, his tone filled with impatience.

"You keep asking." Cas matched the tone almost too well.

"Well excuse me for being concerned about you!" Dean barked. "I won't ask again." He turned back to the door.

"Sam is right." Cas murmured under his breathe.

"What?"

"Nothing." Cas sighed.

"No, no please. I'm intrigues to know what by brother was right about."

Castiel first of all hated that Dean had obviously clearly heard his words, and second, the angel did not like his tone, or the way he was glaring at him. It seemed to spark something in Castiel that was far stronger than the mild frustration the hunter ignited in him.

"You're a jerk." Castiel bite back, his tone tougher than it had ever been before.

"And you're a whiney little bitch." Dean shouted back, shooting to his feet with a painful wince. "I'm here putting my neck on the line to protect you from becoming this towns sex-doll and you're sitting there complaining cause I asked if you're alright." His voice was rising to an unnecessary volume.

Castiel was also on his feet now, meeting the taller man toe to toe. "I am not whining. I am not complaining about your concern just your attitude when asking."

"Excuse me. My attitude. Well sorry little miss iceberg. That attitude is called concern and friendship!"

Castiel's bright blue eyes narrowed in that show-me-some-respect stare. His jaw tightened. "I am not an iceberg Dean." He said in a low dangerous voice.

Warm hazel met cool blue and the air seemed to evaporate, anger filling the room with an electrical charge. It wasn't clear which of them broke the personal space rule, but before they knew where they were they were practically standing on top of each other. The eye contact not breaking once.