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A/N: Hello Monday, hello update! Apologise for no review replies, I have some bug that seems to like me so much it's only getting worse =/ Anyhoo! THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS, I cannot begin to express how amazing you guys are =) For those that don't like this much, I am sorry for that...

Now for those who are liking and enjoying, here is your update...

My Own Fifty Shades – Chapter Nine


"She's freezing cold," Ana heard as her body slowly came to. It didn't take her long to realise she was freezing cold, more so than ever before, and her body was screaming at her in pain. Every single piece of her was begging her to not move, to not wake up, but she was being drawn back to the land of the living. It also didn't take her mind long to clock onto the fact that she was soaking wet, through and through and that she wasn't alone.

There was only one thought that hit her – Stephen!

Shooting up, Ana's entire body told her to stop, told her to remain frozen as though to not create even more hell on herself. Her pains had distorted the voice that spoke and she thought he was back for her. As she sat huddled by the grave, Ana suddenly saw it was Grace and Christian with Taylor standing in the background.

Her breathing raced as she realised that this was salvation, but her mind reminded her cruelly that she had treated Grace so meanly and she had ran from them – again – that the chances were slim that he had found eternal solace. Ana didn't feel she deserved this and so all she felt was her breathing beginning to race on her.

"Ana, calm down," Christian said as his hands loosely grabbed her arms and she looked at him as though she were a wild animal in captivity. He offered her a smile and she looked at him and tried to calm down. "I'm here, Baby. It's me." He had to admit that he was ready to blow a fuse, to go dark on her, but having seen her damaged body beside his pseudo-grave, he knew he had to be gentle or he would be the one to end her life.

However angry he was, he had to remind himself that Ana needed him.

"Christian?" She asked as she looked over to him. He looked more like her Christian than he had the day before. He was cleanly shaven and had cut his hair. He was her Christian again and he was alive. Alive, Ana, he's alive. What more could she ask for? It seemed there was one thing she needed. "Help me?" She asked in a low tone whisper, now noticing that she was frozen for real this time, and her clothes stuck to her body and her wounds with dampness. When had it rained? Where had the night gone? She suddenly realised she must have passed out for the entire night. Now awake she was aware of a new morning, of the hell that had broken loose, of all of her errors and she had never felt more foolish than she did right now.

She made him lose his grip and she went back to the comfort of the cold stone by her side, shielding herself from this sense of warped reality that was waiting to take her in its arms.

"Mom, go to Taylor and tell him we need an ambulance," Christian tried to get his mom to leave their side for the moment. He had heard Taylor excuse himself so he could call ahead to end the manhunt. "I know you're a doctor, but I need to get her to calm down before anyone touches her."

Christian was using personal experience to help aid this.

"Sure," Grace said and left, looking at Ana's dishevelled appearance. Originally she had wanted to jump in and help, but having seen Ana's immediate downfall, Grace respected Christian's decision.

Looking at Ana as she sat cowered against what should have been his tombstone; his heart broke into so many pieces he stood no chance of counting them. He had so much anger in him, but he had quickly realised that shouting at her was only going to send her spiralling further. Especially after what looked like a beating had been bestowed upon her. He didn't know how much he could cope with, but his view of Ana was warping his sanity – wasn't she supposed to be the innocent one? "What happened? Who the hell did this to you, Ana?" Christian asked as he put his hand out to her.

"I got trapped," Ana began to sob into the air, she said nothing else. "I wanted to be close to you, but no one is you. No other master is like you, Mr. Grey," She told him, her submissive way taking over her normal behaviour and making her come across alien and distant. "You cared for me, no one else does."

Christian gasped as he heard her call him a master, "No, Ana, no. I was never your master, Ana," Christian told her and his heart just continued to break at what had become of the woman that he had let love him and had allowed him to love.

She nodded at him, "If I don't have you, I have no one."

He grabbed her and shook her, "Never call me your master again." He watched her try to comprehend that, "Davis will die a horrible death for doing this to you and whatever else he has done, you hear me?" He asked and Ana nodded fearful of just hearing Stephen's surname. "You were never going to be my sub, I was never meant to be your master. I love you far too much to be that. I'm just your Christian, and you, Ana, Baby, you've always been my Anastasia. Please come back to me," He tried to break her out of her victimised state.

"Christian," Ana finally broke from her trance and her adrenaline lost to her body. "He wasn't you," She cried again and finally fell into his arms, immediately breathing in his scent. "He was never you. He was horrible and cruel an-and," She felt her words hitch in her throat, ripping it apart. "He raped me, but be-because of th-the con-contract," Ana spoke between sobs, "H-He'll g-get awa-ay wi-with it. God, he was never you."

"No he fucking won't get away with it!" Christian defied her claim, seeing Davis' own defamation. "I'll make sure of that. He won't ever fucking touch you again." Christian didn't know if he and Ana would survive this, but he was going to make sure that Davis was six feet under.

At that, Ana started to feel safe and secure in life again. She felt like her world was turning again and that she could breathe, regardless with how pained her chest was. Feeling her energy reserve going, she looked at him as tears formed and fell again, "You're alive." She managed as her body gave up on her, "Please help me, Christian. Don't let him come back for me."

Christian said nothing but scooped her up into his arms. He was going to save her in every way possible. He was going to get her to the hospital and then, when she was settled and resting, he was going to pay Stephen Davis that nice visit. He knew he could kill the bastard behind this, but he also knew consequences and Ana needed him to be with her.

"Thank you for coming home," He heard Ana whisper, her tone getting weaker and weaker until she fell limp into his arms.

There was now no time to wait for ambulances as he rushed out of the cemetery.

"We need to get her to the hospital now!" He yelled to his mother and Taylor, "She passed out again. We need to get her there ourselves."

Taylor and Grace didn't need to question anything, they just jumped into action.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- My Own Fifty Shades -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Greys' had been sitting around waiting for news on Ana. They had all been there when Carrick had received the phone call to say Ana was found and they were at the hospital now she was getting some much needed medical help. Grace hadn't shared that she had been beaten nor had she shared that Ana had spent the night in the cemetery in the rain and Christian wasn't about to do that either.

Walking out, Grace felt weary as she approached them all. She watched them all jump up and approach her and she motioned for them to go back to the privacy of the corner a bit. She could feel her heart breaking after being the only one Ana would let treat her.

"She's resting," Grace started and she couldn't put a happy tone to her voice. "She's bordering anorexia from what I saw during the physical examination," Grace commented, after Ana had panicked and asked everyone to leave except Grace. Grace knew it was unethical – to treat someone so close and personal to her life – but she had to help Ana and this was her way to start that. "She's dehydrated, malnourished, and, to be honest; she looks like an abuse victim." Grace watched her son's eyes cloud with tears before she cast a gaze at everyone else, "She has bruises and lacerations all over her body, and from what I can tell, she's recently had her arm broken and it's not been attended to straight away. I think we might have to operate on that if it doesn't set correctly, but we've treated her injuries and made her comfortable with pain relief to help her get some rest." She saw their faces ignite with even more worry, "She's gotten a fever and I fear that's from her passing out during that rain storm we had last night." She saw everyone looked shocked by that fact except for Christian, "We found her passed out on Christian's grave."

Christian put his hands onto his head as he paced, the guilt becoming paralysing, "Did she say anything about what happened?"

Shaking her head, Grace felt disappointed that Ana just closed up from all physical and emotional stimuli. She was terrified at how lifeless Ana had become as nurses finally came in to help Grace dress Ana's wounds and arrange X-rays and blood cultures.

"What about the beating she took?" Christian took over, having heard about the state she was in.

"A few broken ribs, minor internal tears that we're monitoring, and her back was cut up from where she said she said she had been thrown onto a coffee table and dragged thereafter," Grace commented with a heavy sigh, her heart sitting even heavier in her chest. "That's all we managed to get out of her about what happened and even that was a struggle."

Looking upon every member of the family; Grace could see how this was affecting them so differently. Mia and Kate were messes, and the men were just equally as messed up, but were keeping a stronger grip on it. First they had lost Christian, then consequently Ana. Then, after weeks, months of hunting and searching and praying, they had Christian back – a shock that still wasn't quite registered – and in the same day, Ana was back in their lives.

This was mind numbingly explosive.

"I think everyone needs to just go home and get some rest in. It was a long day yesterday and it's going to be tiresome," Grace told them all exasperatedly, her own exhaustion taking her over. Looking to Carla and Ray, she smiled apologetically, "Ana isn't up for visitors just yet so I want everyone to go home. I'm going to stay here and keep watch on her. Make sure she is monitored around the clock."

"I need to talk to you, mom," Christian finally spoke up as every started to agree. "Please."

"She asked for you to stay here," Grace confided with a weak smile. "She needed you to be here, but let's say goodbye then we can go and talk."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- My Own Fifty Shades -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Before we start any chat I need to tell you she was raped," Grace admitted, she hadn't wanted everyone to know something so private and something that shamed Ana the most. "She has a lot of internal damage from recent repetitive sexual force. We did a rape kit, but she's cleaned herself up so we did what we could and gave her birth control and other drugs to help with potential sexually transmitted viruses, but this alone will mentally ruin her if we don't help her soon."

"This is all my fault," Christian said whilst shaking his head feeling shameful.

"No," Grace said, moving forward in her seat and taking her son's hands. "This is no one's fault but the man that did this, Christian. He did this to her. Not you."

Christian looked at his mom, "You're going to hate me."

"I doubt it. Not now I've got you back," Grace said squeezing his hand, but her son's suddenly darkened expression worried. "What is it?"

"She got into a sexual relationship, Mom," Christian admitted immediately. "But it's not what you think. She got into a sexual relationship because something I showed her."

"Not what I think? Christian she went to another man," Grace assumed, her hurt becoming apparent. "She made that decision herself. She took it upon herself to even look at another man like that. What she didn't encounter is that this would happen. She's going to feel bad enough for the original decision now you're back, but now," Grace sighed, "It's going to be so much worse."

"It was to get close to me," Christian continued and only saw that his mother's confusion was just getting worse as it laced upon her face. Christian exhaled, "I have a secret and I have to admit I'm no longer proud of myself. Not after this happened to her. She never deserved this and I didn't show her it for it to be used like this. She went with another man so she could be his submissive."

Grace let that last sentence circulate for a moment before allowing her eyes to widen, "Submissive?" She questioned, wanting him to elaborate and fill in the blanks. She was sure she knew what he was getting at, but her mind wasn't sure it was ready to believe her son had any hand in this.

"She allowed a man to sexually dominate her," Christian spoke with a tight tone, his throat not allowing for ease to take over. He kept his eyes watching his mother, watching her every move, analysing it. "She allowed him to dominate her however he pleased to so he could get pleasure from it. He paid her for it, and set her up with a new life that he got to control. He gets to control her diet, what she wears, anything he wants to and in return she offers herself for his sexually controlled pleasure."

"And what? You're one of them? Like he is?" Grace asked, her tone lowering not sure whether to be angered or disgusted or even upset. She knew that with the lack of sleep her mind wasn't digesting this correctly and she knew that in a few days it would attack her and she would confront this new elephant forming in the room.

"No. I am not like him entirely, but please don't hate me for it," Christian began to cry at the weight that lifted from his shoulders only to be replaced with fear. "I did it to get control because since I was little I felt like I needed that, but then I met Ana and now look what I've done to her." Christian broke down in that instance and all his mother did was wrapped her arms around his neck and attempted to calm him. Regardless of this secret, she still had a son that need the consolation. "When I met Ana, it all changed. She changed me. I wanted her originally to be my sub, but I knew from the first day I met her that I wanted her to love me. I didn't want her contractually bound to me. I needed her to love me and I quickly learned to love her because she really did love me with her entire being. I love her and she has as much control as I do. It is nothing like what Davis wants from her."

"Why would she do that though?" Grace asked unsure of how she felt now and it seemed Christian was feeling the worry as he pulled away. The shock was freezing over her, clouding her judgement, confusing her furthermore and she hated it. She needed to think logically, she needed to get a grip, but her memory was going into overdrive.

Even Dr. Grace Trevelyan - Grey had breaking points.

"Like I said; to get close to me," Christian told her honestly. He wanted no secrets now. Not after all that happened. He wanted to be able to confide in his mother. "I'm ashamed to be associated with that life, Mom. Believe me I am. I turned my back on it a long time ago and since going missing my only fear I had was losing Ana. I would rather give up that life than have to give up her."

Christian was nearing mega meltdown now and he needed to confront even more demons. He had let out his sordid secrets to a woman that he respected most in his life and here he was now living in fear that she would disown him.

"C'mon," Grace said and pulled her son into her arms. She felt him stiffen, but she didn't let him go and then he just collapsed into her arms and began to sob. "You can only save her from this now. I don't think any less of you, Christian, but that's not to say that we are done with this conversation because we are far from it. You did what you had to do and you're here with me now. Since Ana you've been more of my son than ever before. I don't judge you because I believe you did nothing like this Davis did or I hope you didn't. Of course I have many questions that need answers, but Christian, you have your reasons and likewise, Ana will have hers."

"I need you to know that I would never harm anyone," Christian bit back anxious to clear the air. "I like control, but I don't want to cause harm. I don't get control through hurting women. Never was that what it was about to me," Christian tried to strive his way to retribution. He knew the stereotype and taboo on BDSM and how misconstrued it could become, and it worried him that his mother was imaging torture chambers and drawing blood to get kicks. He felt like he needed to clarify it all for her as though it would make this easier. He knew his mother was too calm for the moment and that soon the shit would hit the fan.

"Does Ana know that?" Grace asked and watched as Christian nodded. "Then that's all that matters here," She said and took his hand and took him to Ana's room. She could sit and question the air out of his lungs, but at the end of the day, they had to stick together and not let anything tear them apart. Ana needed them to be strong, and right now, Grace was able to keep that rife between her and Christian.

Neither said anything as they took up a seat on either side of her and neither slept because they were too wired with what was going on before them with the battered and bruised Ana. She looked so weak and fragile as she lay in the bed, surrounded by hospital equipment and covered in tubes and wires that were helping and monitoring her and both knew that only time would tell what extent her injuries would have on her.

Christian was calculating the ways he could kill Davis – beat him to a pulp, cut him into pieces, tie him up and leave him there, castrate him, slowly dismember him, burn him. Christian knew there would be no awarded form of death until Davis was right in front of him.

He knew the best form of revenge would be issued by Ana, but he had feeling that would never be issued.

"Sir, I have Davis' address," Taylor cut in as he stepped into the room just as night set in finding Christian and Grace still awake and sitting in complete silence. "He's home too," Was all he finished up saying.

"Don't do anything drastic," Grace warned, worried about what her son would do.

Giving a quick look to Ana – memorising her current state as though it would aid his motivation - Christian looked to his mother, "I'm only going to start giving him what he deserves."

Then he was gone.