The Doctor stood behind the bushes. Donna stood just to the side of him. He had a firm grasp on her hand. He stroked slow circles on the back of her hand. She smiled as she continued to listen to the conversation, just a few feet away.
"Never mind Planet Zog, a party in the 1920s, that's more like it!" Donna said standing up straight and turned to face him. He smiled at her.
"Problem is, we haven't been invited." Donna gave him look and the Doctor took out his psychic paper and waved in her face, grinning. "Oh I forgot, yes we have!" He and Donna turned around and ran to the TARDIS. Their hands never parting form the others.
The Doctor tapped on the TARDIS doors impatiently. He groaned. He had told Donna that she looked fine, but of course she HAD to change!
"We'll be late for cocktails!" he cried. He turned his head at the sound of the TARDIS doors opening.
Donna stepped out of the TARDIS wearing a 1920s style brown dress. The Doctor looked her up and down. His hand went up to loosen his tie. He was starting to get hot, and he was sure it wasn't from nature.
"What d'you think? Flapper or slapper?" she asked smiling at him.
The Doctor looked into her eyes enquiringly, but then he grinned as he spoke, linking arms with her.
"Flapper. You look lovely!" they walked off into the garden where people were starting to gather
"Look sharp, we have guests!" The Doctor heard a woman call, he guessed that she was in charge of the staff.
"Good afternoon!" The Doctor said waving at them. A waiter walked over to serve them.
"Drinks sir? Ma'am?" he asked.
"Sidecar, please." Donna said looking at the Doctor
"And a lime and soda, thank you." The Doctor said. He watched to see him walk away. Another servant introduced Lady Eddison. The Doctor almost immediately took his arm from Donna's. Donna gasped in surprise of this sudden movement.
Lady Eddison walked over to greet the Doctor and Donna.
"Lady Eddison." The Doctor greeted, shaking her hand. Lady Eddison looked at him questionably.
"Forgive me, but who exactly might you be... and what are you doing here?" She asked.
"I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble... of the, Chiswick Nobles."
"Good afternoon, my lady. Topping day, what? Spiffing! Top hole!" She said trying to put on a posh accent, not succeeding. The Doctor looked at her oddly
"No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that, don't." He said looking down at her. She frowned slightly, but he quickly gave her, a small smile to re-boost her confidence. He got out his psychic paper and presented it to Lady Eddison.
"We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady. We met at the Ambassador's reception."
"Doctor, how could I forget you? But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose."
"A unicorn? Brilliant! Where?" He asked grinning.
"The Unicorn. The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose."
"Funny place to wear pearls." Donna said, leaning into the Doctors ear. Greeves introduced two newcomers, and elderly man in wheelchair and a young man pushing him.
"May I announce, the Colonel Hugh Curbishley,the Honorable Roger Curbishley." Greeves said.
"My husband. And my son." Lad Eddison said.
Forgive me for not rising. Never been the same ever since that flu epidemic back in '18." The Colonel said coughing.
"My word, you are quite a looker." Roger said extending his hand. Donna smiled, blushing.
"Oh, thank you." Donna said shaking his hand. The Doctor watched as Roger lifted up Donna's hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor." He said, nudging Donna out of the way. Donna smirked, standing behind the Doctor, her arms crossing above her chest smirking. She knew he was jealous, and she also knew that she wouldn't let him forget this.
"How do you do?" Roger asked, forcing a smile.
"Very well." The Doctor said turning to see Donna grinning. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "You're going to hold this over my head, aren't you?"
"Mmm-hmmm." Donna nodded.
"Your usual, sir?" a waiter asked Roger.
"Ah, thank you Davenport. Just how I like it."
"How come she's an Eddison but her husband and son are Curbishleys?" Donna asked the Doctor.
"The Eddison title descends through her. One day Roger will be a lord." He said noticing a woman walking into the Garden.
"Robina Redmond!" Greeves introduced.
"She's the absolute hit of the social scene, a must." Lady Eddison walked up to Robina. "Miss Redmond!"
"Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady. What super fun!"
"Reverend Arnold Golightly." Greeves introduced, a man walked out from behind him.
"Ah, Reverend. How are you? I heard about the church last Thursday night. Those ruffians breaking in." Lady Eddison walked up to him shaking his hand.
"You apprehended them, I hear." The Colonel said.
"As the Christian Fathers taught me, we must forgive them their trespasses. Quite literally." He said looking through the group.
"Some of these young boys deserve a descent thrashing." Roger scoffed, taking a sip of his drink.
"Couldn't agree more, sir." Davenport said looking over at Roger, meaningful. Donna rolled her eyes and leaned towards the Doctor.
"Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus."
"Or Time Lords." He added sounding hurt. Donna frowned and playfully hit him in the arm. "Oi, that hurt." He said rubbing his sore arm.
"Yeah, just as much as us being a couple I bet." She sneered. The Doctor looked down at her apologetically. She nudged him and smiled. "Oi, don't go getting all sappy on me spaceman." He smiled turning his attention back to the table.
"Now, my lady, what about this special guest you promised us?" Roger said, breaking the awkward silence.
"Here she is, a lady who needs no introduction!" Lady Eddison said pointing to a lady entering the Party. Everyone turned their attention to her. She smiled as everyone started clapping.
"No, no, please. Don't. Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there's no need." She insisted. She held out her hand for the Doctor to shake. "Agatha Christie." She introduced.
"What about her?" Donna asked.
"That's me." Agatha said, looking at Donna oddly.
"Nooo." Donna exclaimed as Agatha laughed. "You're kidding."
"Agatha Christie! I was just talking about you the other day. I said, "I bet she's brilliant". I'm the Doctor and this is Donna. Ohhh, I love your stuff. What a mind! You fool me every time. Well, almost every time. Well, once or twice. Well, once. But it was a good once!" He explained shaking her hand at first, but them dropping it to place his hands into the pockets. He took out his glasses and placed them firmly on his face, looking stunning.
He went to place his hand back into his pocket, but Donna grabbed. He looked down at her.
"You make a rather unusual couple." Agatha said exchanging glances between them. The doctor wrenched his hand from Donna his other form his pocket. He waved them in front of his body.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not married. Nor would we want to be." He said. He caught a slight glimpse of Donna's expression. He could feel a huge slap coming on.
Why did he say that? I thought he loved me. Was he just toying with me? He wouldn't do that, would he? Does he really find me that un-important? Maybe I did something wrong. Donna couldn't help but think. The next few sentences just slipped from her mouth.
"We're not a couple. I mean he's just a thin piece of Nothing!" she said emphasizing the 'nothing'.
"Well obviously not. No wedding ring." Donna looked at her fingers and smiled.
"Oh, oh, you don't miss a trick." The Doctor smiled.
"I'd stay that way if I were you. The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture." Agatha whispered into Donna's ear. Lady Eddison made her way over to the trio.
"Mrs. Christie, I'm so glad you could come. I'm one of your greatest followers. I've read all six of your books. Is, ah, Mr. Christie not joining us?" Eddison asked, scanning the garden for Agatha's husband. Agatha looked at Lady Eddison and smiled so warmly at her.
"Is he needed? Can't a woman make her own way in the world?" she asked.
"Don't give my wife ideas." The Colonel laughed, fallowed by the other suitors.
"Now Mrs. Christie, I have a question. Why a Belgian detective?" Roger asked after his fit of giggles subsided. The Doctor walked over to the Colonel and snatched his newspaper.
"'Scuse me." The Doctor mumbled to him.
"Belgians make such lovely buns." Agatha joked. Everyone laughed.
"I say, where on earth is Professor Peach? He'd love to meet Mrs. Christie." Roger said laughing so hard, it was a miracle that anyone understood what he was saying.
"Said he was going to the library.' The Reverend said before taking a drink. The Doctor beckoned to Donna and she walked over. She heard a the conversation die down behind her, the closer she got to the Doctor.
"The date on this newspaper." He told her, showing the paper to her.
"What about it?"
"It's the day Agatha Christie disappeared. She'd just discovered her husband was having an affair."
"You'd never think to look at her. Smiling away."
"Well, she's British and moneyed. That's what they do. They carry on. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished." The Doctor took a breath and started again. "Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later, Agatha Christie turns up in a hotel in Harrogate. Said she'd lost her memory. She never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died, but whatever it was…"
"It's about to happen." Donna said more as a statement than a question.
"Right here, right now." They were brought out of their side conversation by screaming.
"Professor! The library! Murder! Murder!" the Maid cried, waving her hands in the air.
***
The Doctor, Donna and Agatha entered the library. The Doctor ran to the body, he bent down and take his glasses out. Greeves arrives a few moments later.
"Oh my goodness." He gasped.
Bashed on the head. Blunt instrument. Watch broke as he fell," the Doctor explained. He looked at the watch around the professor's wrist. "Time of death was quarter past four." He got up and started searching the papers on the desk.
"Bit of pipe." she lifted up a pipe lying next to the body. "Call me Hercule Poirot, but I reckon that's blunt enough." Agatha Christie picked something out of the grate. The Doctor eyed her; Donna looked at him and felt stupid afterwards.
I Knew it. I drove him away. Her mind told her.
"Nothing worth killing for in that lot, dry as dust." The Doctor said tearing his gaze away from Agatha.
"Hold on. The body in the library? I mean, Professor Peach, in the library, with the lead piping?" Donna said letting the familiarity set in. The voices of the other members of the party drifted into the room. They gathered in the room, and looked down in horror and disgust, and they all talked simultaneously.
"Let me see." Lady Eddison shouted pushing herself into the room.
"Out of my way!" the Colonel barked.
"Gerald!" Lady Eddison cried out.
"Saints preserve us!" Prayed the Reverend.
"Oh how awful..." Robina mumbled, looking away.
"Someone should call the police." Agatha said moving towards the door.
"You don't have to." The Doctor flashed his physic paper around for everybody to see. "Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard. Known as the Doctor. Miss Noble is the plucky young girl who helps me out."
"I say." Lady Eddison breathed.
"Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn." The Doctor ordered.
"Come along, do as the Doctor says. Leave the room undisturbed." Agatha said, ushering everyone out; leaving just the Doctor and Donna behind.
"'The plucky young girl who helps me out'?" Donna asked. She was quite angered with the Doctor at the moment. The Doctor got down on the ground.
"No policewomen in 1926." He said examining the ground.
"I'll pluck you in a minute. Why don't we phone the real police?" she asked. She crossed her arms. Her eyes fell upon the Doctor. Why did he have this power upon her, this power to make her feel so, so vulnerable.
"Well the last thing we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in." He said standing up, looking at her. He noticed the expression she carried, was sad and hurt. His eyes softened. "Donna, you okay?"
She shook her head and forced a small fake smile, "Yeah. I'm fine." She reassured him. He looked at her skeptically, clearly not buying it.
"Right...as I was saying, especially now I've found this! Morphic residue."
"Morphic? Doesn't sound very 1926." Donna said.
"It's left behind when certain species genetically re-encode." He eyed her; she still seemed upset about something. He sighed heavily as she spoke.
"The murderer's an alien."
"Which means, one of that lot is an alien in human form."
"Yeah, but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie."
"So? Happens to me all the time." He said seeing it as no big deal.
"No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens, and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas."
"Well..." he said placing the slim in a bag and slipping it into his jacket pocket.
"Oh, come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!" she smiled waiting for his answer.
"There's no Noddy."
"Next thing you know, you'll be telling me its like 'Murder On The Orient Express', and they all did it!" she expressed. They left the library and met Agatha at the bottom of the staircase.
"Murder on the Orient Express?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah. One of your best!" Donna praised.
"But not yet." The Doctor reminded Donna.
"Marvelous idea though." Agatha piped up.
"Yeah. Tell you what, copyright Donna Noble, okay?" Donna said leaning in close to her.
"Anyway! Agatha and I will question the suspects, Donna, you search the bedrooms. Look for clues." The Doctor said quickly. He handed her a magnifying glass. "You'll need this." He said. Donna grasped it, looking at him oddly.
"Is that for real?" she asked.
"Go on. You're ever so plucky." The Doctor smiled sticking his hands in his pockets. Not too pleased, Donna headed upstairs, leaving the Doctor beaming at Agatha. Donna slowed her pace as she listened intently to their conversation.
"Right then! Solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie, brilliant!"
"How like a man to have fun, while there's disaster all around him."
"Sorry, yeah."
"I'll work with you, gladly. But for the sake of justice. Not your own amusement."
"Yeah."
Donna turned to see the Doctor place his left hand upon her shoulder. She swiftly turned around and plunged up the stairs. She wiped the tears away and leaned against the stairwell wall. She slid down, and hugged her knees. Donna placed her head upon her knee caps.
Why is he doing this to me? What have I every done to him? Wait, what am I saying? It's not like he's mine or anything. She wiped away the few remaining tears. She stood up and composed herself. She then climbed the few steps.
Upstairs, Donna tried to open a door but it is locked. Greeves appeared suddenly and Donna let out a surprised little scream.
"You won't find anything in there." He told her.
"How come it's locked?" she asked.
"Lady Eddison commands it to be so."
"And I command it to be otherwise. Scotland Yard, pip-pip." Greeves reluctantly went forward and unlocked the door. "Why's it locked in the first place?"
"Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family, Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria. She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. Since then, the room has remained undisturbed. " he answered her. He opened the door and Donna stepped in.
"There's nothing in here." He said
"How long's it been empty?"
"Forty years."
"Why would she seal it off? All right, I need to investigate, you just... butle off." She closed the door and started to look around. She found a big teddy bear on the bed. She picked up and smiled, it reminded her of her own when she was younger.
Donnas san to her room and slammed the door shut. She jumped onto her bed and cried. He forgot again! Another birthday gone without a word from him. She slid her hand cross the bed. Her hand came in contact with something soft and furry. She lifted up her tear stained face and looked at the object. It was a dark teddy bear with a red bow-tie in front of it's right ear. A note was pinned to the bears hand. She picked it up and read it.
'Dear Donna,
Happy Birthday Donna. Sorry I couldn't see you, I had an emergence in the 3700's. But I wish you the Best of luck in the year to come. Happy Birthday again!
Signed,
Your Doctor
Donna shook her head. She heard a slight buzzing. "1926, they've still got bees. Oh, what a noise! All right, busy bee, I'll let you out. Hold on, I shall find you with my amazing powers of detection." Lifting up her magnifying glass, she walked to the window. She pulled aside the heavy curtains hiding the view. She screamed as a giant wasp appeared. The wasp broke through the glass, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.
"That's impossible!" she backed up, avoiding the wasps giant stinger. "Doctor!" she cried. The wasp was about to attack, but she held out the magnifying glass and focuses the sunlight on its body, stopping it for a moment.
"DOCTOR!" she screamed again before running out of the room and shut the door. The wasp stings through the wood and Donna screamed as the stinger slices her arm. The Doctor and Agatha arrived, running to her aid.
"It's a giant wasp!" Donna breathed.
"What d'you mean, a giant wasp?" the Doctor asked.
"I mean, a wasp that's giant!"
"It's only a silly little insect." Agatha insisted.
"When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flippin' enormous! Look at its sting!" she said pointing to the door with her good arm. They looked down at the huge sting, stuck into the door.
"Let me see." The Doctor said. He walked over to her. She went to step aside, but he grabbed her injured arm. "No, let me see this." He said referring to her cut. He brought her arm closer to his face. She turned her head blushing.
"Oh, I'm fine." He nodded and pulled out a handkerchief, tearing it into several long pieces. He tied them securely around the wound and them walked into the room, only to find it empty.
"It's gone. Buzzed off." The Doctor said pulling out his glasses and putting them on. Agatha bows to examine the sting.
"But that's fascinating..." Agatha said.
"D-D-D-Don't touch it! Don't touch it! Let me..." he said walking briskly over to her. He collected some slime from the sting and placed it into a test tube. "Giant wasp... Well, tons of amorphous insectivorous life forms, but none in this galactic vector."
"I think I understood some of those words. Enough to know that you're completely potty." Agatha exclaimed.
"Lost its sting though, that makes it defenseless." Donna said placing a hand on her would. Some poison must have hit her wound, for she found it quite hard to breathe.
"Oh, creature this size, got to be able to grow a new one." The Doctor said, taking off his glasses.
"Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps!" Agatha argued.
"Exactly. So, question is, what's it doing here?" the Doctor asked walking to Donnas side placing his hand on top of hers that laid over her wound. "How you feeling?" he whispered in her ear. She looked up into his eyes, a bit dazed.
"It's somewhat hard to breathe." He nodded and left Donna's side. Doctor heard a buzzing sound and looked up to see the giant wasp.
"There!" he shouted. The wasp flew away and they ran after it. "Come on!"
"Hey, this makes a change, there's a monster, and we're chasing it." Donna remarked.
"Can't be a monster, it's a trick, they do it with mirrors!" Agatha told her. The Doctor, Donna and Agatha run up the flight stairs and find the wasp. "By all that's holy!" She whispered.
"Oh, but you are wonderful!" the Doctor exclaimed, smiling. The wasp charges at them and the Doctor reached out for Donna. "Now, just stop, stop there!"
"Oi, fly boy!" Donna shouted. She pointed the magnifying glass at the wasp and it flew off.
"Don't let it get away! Quick! Before it reverts back to human form." They run down the stairs and stop at the end of an empty corridor. "Where are you? Come on! There's nowhere to run. Show yourself!" he shouted.
The doors along the corridor opened and all the guests and family emerge from their rooms.
"Oh, that's just cheating." The Doctor groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair.
***
Everyone gathered in the drawing room.
"My faithful companion, this is terrible!" Lady Eddison cried.
"Excuse me, my lady, but she was on her way to tell you something." Davenport told her.
"She never found me. She had an appointment with death instead." Lady Eddison whispered.
"She said "The poor little child". Does that mean anything to anyone?" The Doctor asked looking around the room.
"No children in this house for years, highly unlikely there will be." The Colonel said looking at his son and Davenport.
"Mrs Christie, you must have triggered something, you've written simply the best detective stories." Robina pointed out.
"Tell us, what would Poirot do?" Reverend asked.
"Heavens sake! Cards on the table, woman, you should be helping us." The Colonel exclaimed.
"But, I'm merely a writer." She said looking down.
"But surely you can crack it, these events, they're exactly like one of your plots." Roger said.
"That's what I've been saying! Agatha, that's gotta mean something." Donna encouraged.
"But, what? I've no answers. None. I'm sorry, all of you, I'm truly sorry, but I've failed. If anyone can help us then it's the Doctor, not me." Agatha said before her and Donna left the room.
***
Donna sat down next to Agatha in the garden.
"You know what I think? Those books of yours, one day they could turn them into films, they could be talking pictures." Donna advised.
"Talking pictures? Pictures that... talk? What do you mean?" She asked.
"Oh, blimey, I've done it again." Donna scolded herself.
"I appreciate you trying to be kind, but you're right, these murders are like my own creations. It's as though someone's mocking me, and I've had enough scorn for one lifetime."
"Yeah... Thing is, I had this bloke once, I was engaged, and I loved him, I really did. Turns out he was lying through his teeth. But d'you know what? I moved on. I was lucky, I found the Doctor, and it's changed my life. There's always someone else."
"I see. Is my marriage the stuff of gossip now?" Agatha said disgusted.
"No! I just… sorry."
"No matter. The stories are true. I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman, isn't it always the way?"
"Well, mine was with an old had and several children, but, same difference." She had been engaged to someone named Charles. Little did she know that was a rapist and a murderer. She hadn't told anyone what he had done to her, not even the Doctor.
You and the Doctor talk such wonderful nonsense. Your sure you two aren't a couple?"
"What, No we aren't." Donna blushed. "Agatha, people love your books, they really do, they're gonna be reading them for years to come."
"If only! Try as I might it's hardly great literature, now that's beyond me. I'm afraid my books will be forgotten, like ephemera." She spotted something. "Hello, what's that? Those flowerbeds were perfectly neat earlier, now some of the stalks are bent over." She picked up a small box.
"There you go, who'd ever notice that? You're brilliant!" Donna beamed.
***
"Your drinks, ladies. Doctor." Greeves said handing them their drinks.
"Very good, Greeves." Said the Doctor. Greeves nodded and left.
"How about the science stuff, what did you find?" Donna asked taking a sip of her drink. The Doctor pulled out the test tube.
"Vespiform sting. Vespiforms have got hives in the Silfrax galaxy." He said. He looked over at Donna. He still had know idea how the Venom would effect her.
"Again, you talk like Edward Lear." Agatha laughed.
"But for some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books." He took a sip from his drink.
"Come on, Agatha, what would Miss Marple do? She'd have overheard something vital by now, because the murderer thinks she's just a harmless old lady." Donna piped in.
"Clever idea. Miss Marple? Who writes those?"
"Um, copyright Donna Noble, add it to the list." Donna whispered in Agatha's ear.
"Donna..." The Doctor groaned.
"Okay, we could split the copyright." Donna corrected.
"No. Something's inhibiting my enzymes. ARGH! I've been poisoned!" He screamed in agony.
"What do we do? What do we do?!" Donna cried as she ran over to him. He grabbed her hand as he cried out again. Agatha smelled his drink.
"Bitter almonds! It's cyanide! Sparkling cyanide!" Agatha called out as the Doctor and Donna ran out of the room. she got up and ran after them.
They burst into the kitchen. The Doctor staggered to Davenport and grabbed him.
"Ginger beer!" He yelled.
"I beg your pardon?" Davenport said clearly offended.
"I need ginger beer!" he said again. He struggled to the kitchen shelf, sweeping off stuff while he searched for ginger beer.
"The gentleman's gone mad!" Mrs. Hart exclaimed. The Doctor found the bottle and drank of it, then pours the rest on his head.
"I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor. There's no cure! It's fatal!" Agatha cried out. He spit out the rest of the drink.
"Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal... Protein! I need protein!" He leaned on the worktop, panting in agony, while Donna and Agatha searched the kitchen supplies.
"Walnuts?" Donna asked, she walked over to him.
"Brilliant!" She handed him a jar of walnuts and he gobbled it down. Mouth full, he gestured to Donna, shaking his hand up and down.
"I can't understand you! How many words?" Donna asked. He lifted up one finger.
"One! One word!" He kept shaking his hand.
"Shake, milk shake, milk? Milk? No, not milk? Hm, shake, shake, shake... Cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wall banger?"
He finally managed to swallow the walnuts. "Harvey Wall banger?!"
"Well, I don't know!" Donna admitted.
"How is Harvey Wall banger one word?!"
"What do you need, Doctor?!" Agatha shouted, irritated.
"Salt, I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty!"
"What about this?" Donna asked, showing him a brown paper bag.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Salt!" Donna answered looking at the bag.
"That's too salty!"
"Oh, that's too salty!" Donna jeered. Agatha handed him a jar.
"What about this?!" Agatha asked. He opens the jar and gobbled the contents.
"What's that?" Donna asked Agatha.
"Anchovies!" she answered. The Doctor began to make another gesture.
"What is it? What else? It's a song? Mammy? Um, I don't know, Camp town Races?" Donna shouted.
"Camp town Races?" he said in disbelief.
"All right then, Towering Inferno!" she said mimicking his movements.
"It's a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock!" he breathed.
"Right then. Big shock, coming up!" She grabbed him and kissed him forcefully. Donna felt his hands come to her waist to pull her loser to his body. She let him go, at the sudden contact. The Doctor breathed out a cloud of grey smoke. Donna, Agatha and the kitchen staff stared at him, shocked.
"Detox!" he wiped his mouth. "I must do that more often!" Donna gave him a nasty look. "I mean, the, the detox."
"Doctor, you are impossible! Who are you?" Agatha asked in disbelief. He grinned and ran out of the kitchen.
***
There was a clap of thunder and lightning. In the manor, the group was having dinner together in the dining room.
"A terrible day for all of us. The Professor struck down, Miss Chandrakala taken cruelly from us… and yet we still take dinner." The Doctor said sitting down.
"We are British, Doctor. What else must we do?" Lady Eddison said never looking up from her plate.
"Then someone tried to poison me. Any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. But it rather gave me an idea." He said looking at everyone.
"And what would that be?" the reverend asked.
"Well … poison. Drink up!" he said grinning. Everyone looked at him oddly and Donna slapped his arm. "Ow!" he rubbed his arm. "I've laced the soup with pepper."
"Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy." The Colonel said taking another sip of soup.
"But the active ingredient of pepper is piperine. Traditionally used as an , anyone got the shivers?" The Doctor explained, looking around. There was another strike of lightning and the window was blown violently open, the candles blew out, and the room went pitch black.
"What the deuce is that!?" The Colonel shouted through the darkness.
"Listen… listen, listen, listen!" the Doctor ordered his hand searching for Donna's. When the room filled with silence, a slight buzzing was able to be herd.
"No, it can't be..." Lady Eddison cried out, standing up. Another clap of lightening light the room for a split second.
"Show yourself, demon!" Agatha ordered standing as well.
"Nobody move! No, don't, stay where you are!" The Doctor shouted, when the others began to leave. The Vespiform showed itself.
"Out, out, out, out!" The Doctor yelled. The Doctor pushed Agatha in front of him, ending up in a small room together with Donna and Greeves.
"Not you, Agatha. You've got a long, long life to live yet." The Doctor told her. He walked over to Donna. "You okay?" he asked, his hand finding her to give it a reassuring squeeze. He sighed when she squeezed back. He closed his eyes as he released it. He walked over to the wall and took the sword.
"Well, we know the butler didn't do it!" Donna said prying Greeves hands off of her.
"Then who did?" the Doctor asked. The lights turned on. They found that most of the people didn't leave the dining room: Robina was still sitting in astonishment, gasping, the Colonel was topsy-turvy on his wheelchair, Lady Eddison was at the head of the table, Davenport was on the ground, and the Reverend was to the side of the room
"My jewelry! The Firestone! It's gone! Stolen…" Lady Eddison announced.
"Roger..." Davenport breathed. Roger was lying with his head in a bowl, a knife in his back. Robina screamed when she laid eyes on him. Lady Eddison walked over to her son's body shaking her head in disbelief.
"My son … my child!" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.
***
In the drawing room, Agatha sat on the sofa and the Doctor stood in front of the fireplace, thinking. Donna walked in and sat next to Agatha.
"That poor footman. Roger's dead and he can't even mourn him. 1926, it's more like the dark ages." Donna grumbled.
"Did you enquire after the necklace?" Agatha asked.
"Lady Eddison bought it back from 's worth thousands."
"It can sting, it can fly. It could wipe us all out in seconds, why is it playing this game?" The Doctor pondered. The girls looked up at him questionably.
"Every murder is essentially the same. They are committed because somebody wants something." Agatha told him.
"What does a Vespiform want?" he said. He hit his head in frustration.
"Doctor, stop it. The murderer is as human as you or I." Agatha told him.
"You're right!" he said. He walked over to the girls and kneeled in front of Agatha. "Ah, I've been so caught up with giant wasps that I've forgotten. You're the expert!"
Agatha looked at him flabbergasted. "I'm not, I've told you! I'm just a... purveyor of nonsense."
"No, no, no, no, no! Because plenty of people write detective stories, but yours are the best! And why? Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand! You've lived… you've fought… you've had your heart broken. You know about people... their passions, their hope, and despair, and anger. All of those tiny, huge things, that can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha! If anyone can solve this... it's you!" He cried.
***
Everyone gathered in the drawing room. The Doctor stood in front of the group.
"I've called you here on this endless night, because we have a murderer in our midst. And when it comes to detection, there's none finer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … Agatha Christie!" The Doctor sat down next to Donna as Agatha took his spot.
"This is a crooked house. A house of secrets. To understand the solution, we must examine them all. Starting with you…" she paused, looking in the direction of Lady Edison, but quickly turns to Robina. "...Miss Redmond."
"But I'm innocent, surely?" Robina said.
"You've never met these people and these people have never met you. I think the real Robina Redmond never left London, you're impersonating her!" Agatha announced.
"How silly! What proof do you have?" Robina laughed.
"You said you went to the toilet…" Agatha started.
"Oh, I know this. If she was really posh, she'd say 'loo'." Donna interrupted. Agatha reached down and lifted up the Unicorn's box, off of the coffee table.
"Earlier today, Miss Noble and I found this on the lawn. Right beneath your bathroom window. You must have heard that Miss Noble was searching the bedrooms, so you panicked. You ran upstairs and disposed of the evidence."
"I've never seen that thing before in my life." Robina protested.
"What's inside it?" Lady Eddison asked. Agatha opened the box to reveal its contents.
"The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond. Or should I say… the Unicorn!" Agatha said, showing the tools to everyone. Everyone's eyes fell upon Robina. "You came to this house with one sole intention. To steal the Firestone!"
Robina looked at Agatha closely in the eye, before getting up from her seat. Her voice, her accent, her whole attitude changed.
"Oh, alright then. It's a fair cop. Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn. Ever so nice to meet you, I don't think. I took my chance in the dark and napped it. Go on then, you knobs. Arrest me, sling me in jail!" She pulled out the Firestone from inside her dress and tossed it to the Doctor.
"So, is she the murderer?" Donna asked.
"Don't be so thick. I might be a thief, but I ain't no killer." Robina said sitting back down.
"Quite. There are darker motives at work. And in examining this household, we come to you … Colonel!"
"Damn it, woman! You with your perspicacity! You've rumbled me." He shouted. He stood up from his wheelchair.
"Hugh, you can walk! But why!?" Lady Eddison cried.
"My darling, how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side?" He asked her.
"I don't understand..." Lady Eddison closed her eyes hiding a few tears.
"You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. Sooner or later some chap will turn your head. I couldn't bear that. Staying in the chair was the only way I could be certain of keeping you. Confound it, Mrs. Christie, how did you discover the truth?"
"Um, actually I had no idea. I was just going to say you're completely innocent." Agatha told him.
"Oh... ugh." The Colonel stumbled for words.
"Sorry!" Agatha apologized.
"Well, well shall I sit down then?" He asked.
"Yeah, I think you better had." The Doctor said nodding. The Colonel sat down and held Lady Eddison's hand.
"So he's not the murderer?" Donna asked Agatha
"Indeed, not. To find the truth let's return to this. Far more than the Unicorn's object of desire. The Firestone has quite a history. Lady Eddison." She said as she took the fire stone from the Doctors hand.
"I've done nothing!" Lady Eddison exclaimed, clearly shocked.
"You brought it back from India, did you not? Before you met the Colonel. You came home with malaria, and confined yourself to this house for six month, in a room that has been kept locked ever since, which I rather think means..."
"Stop, please." Lady Eddison whispered.
"I'm so sorry. But you had fallen pregnant in India. Unmarried and ashamed, you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid later to become housekeeper Miss Chandrakala." Agatha further explained.
"Clemency, is this true?" The Colonel asked her.
"My poor baby. I had to give him away. The shame of it." Lady Eddison sobbed.
"But you never said a word..." The Colonel breathed. He was more shocked than anyone. He released her hand and looked away.
"I had no choice. Imagine the scandal. The family name! I'm British, I carry on." Lady Eddison told him.
"And it was no ordinary pregnancy." The Doctor said low. They all looked at him.
"How can you know that?" Lady Eddison asked.
"'Scuse me Agatha, this is my territory. But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room, you said 'It can't be.' Why did you say that?" He asked looking at her skeptically
"You'd never believe it." She whispered.
"The Doctor has opened my mind to believe many things." Agatha pointed out. Donna starred up at the Doctor. She was right, there was nothing you could tell the Doctor that would seem out of the norm.
"It was forty years ago, in the heat of Delhi, late one night. I was alone. And that's when I saw it, a dazzling light in the sky. The next day, he came to the house. Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Our love blazed like a wildfire. I held nothing back. And in return ... he showed me the incredible truth about himself. He'd made himself human, to learn about us." Lady Eddison explained to everyone. "This was his true shape. I loved him so much, it didn't matter. But he was stolen from me. 1885, the year of the great monsoon. The river Jumna rose up and broke its banks. He was taken at the flood. But Christopher left me a parting gift, a jewel like no other. I wore it always, part of me never forgot. I kept it close. Always."
"Just like a man, flashes his family jewels, and you end up with a bun in the oven!" Robina scoffed
"A 'poor little child'. Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that newborn babe to an orphanage. But Professor Peach worked it out. He found the birth certificate." Agatha further explained.
"Oh, that's maiden! Maiden name!" Donna said, standing as well.
"Precisely." Agatha smiled.
"So, she killed him?" Donna asked once again. The Doctor looked at her and frowned.
"I did not!" Lady Eddison protested.
"Miss Chandrakala feared that the Professor had unearthed your secret. She was coming to warn you." Agatha tried to explain.
"So, she killed her?" Donna asked again. The Doctor just stared at Donna. Was she really this thick?
"I did not!" Repeated Lady Eddison.
Lady Eddison is innocent. Because at this point... Doctor!" The Doctor looked at Agatha and grinned. Agatha sat down with Donna.
"Thank you. At this point, when we consider the lies and the secrets, and the key to these events, then we have to consider... it was you, Donna Noble!" he said pointing at Donna. She looked at him oddly. How could he accuse her?!
"What!? Who did I kill?" Donna stuttered.
"No, but you said it, all along. The vital clue. This whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. Which means ...it was you, Agatha Christie!" he said pointing to Agatha.
"I beg your pardon, sir!" Agatha said astonished.
"So, she killed them?" Donna asked, frustrated with the way they were handling this.
"No! But she wrote! She wrote those brilliant, clever books. And who's her greatest admirer? The moving finger points at you... Lady Eddison!" the Doctor corrected.
"Don't, leave me alone!" she whined.
"So, she did kill them?" Donna whispered.
"No! But just think, last Thursday night, what were you doing?" he asked her.
I was… I was in the library. I was reading my favorite Agatha Christie. Thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. How is that relevant?" she looked up at the Doctor.
"Just think. What else happened on Thursday night?" He asked everyone in the room. The Doctor settled his gaze on the reverend, who just looked at him confused.
"I'm sorry?" the Reverend asked.
"You said on the lawn, this afternoon. Last Thursday night, those boys broke into your church." The Doctor said.
"That's correct. They did. I discovered the two of them. Thieves in the night, I was most perturbed. But, I apprehended them."
"Really? A man of God against two strong lads? A man in his forties? Or, should I say... forty years old, exactly?" the Doctor questioned.
"Oh my god!" Lady Eddison gasped.
"Lady Eddison, your child, how old would he be now?" the Doctor asked her, his eyes never leaving the Reverend.
"Forty, he's forty!"
"Your child has come home." The Doctor mused.
"This is poppycock!" The Reverend smiled and chuckled.
"Oh? You said you were taught by the Christian Fathers. Meaning, you were raised in an orphanage."
"My son... can it be?" Lady Eddison breathed, fresh tears falling down her face.
"You found those thieves, Reverend, and you got angry! A proper, deep anger, for the first time in your life, and it broke the genetic lock! You've changed! You realized your inheritance! After all these years, you knew who you were." He walked over to Agatha and took the Fire stone.
"Oh, and then it all kicks off, cos this isn't just jewel. It's a Vespiform telepathic recorder! It's part of you, your brain, your very essence. When you activated, so did the Firestone. It beamed your full identity directly into your mind. And, at the same time it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie, directly from Lady Eddison. It all became part of you. Mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain. You've killed, in this pattern, because that's what you think the world is. Turns out, we are in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha!"
"Dame?" Agatha asked.
"Oh, sorry, not yet." The Doctor apologized.
"So he killed them? Yes? Definitely?" Donna asked one last time. The Doctor looked down at her and smiled.
"Yes."
"Well ...this has certainly been a most entertaining evening." The Reverend laughed. Everyone looked at him. "Really, you can't believe any of this surely, Lady Edizzzz..."
"Lady who?" the Doctor asked, placing his hands in his pockets, leaning forward a bit.
"Lady Edizzzzzon..." he struggled.
"Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?" the Doctor egged him on. Donna stood up grabbing his arm.
"Doctor, Don't." Donna whispered.
"Don't make me angry!" the Reverend warned. He rose from his seat and stood up in front of the group.
"Why? What happens then?" the Doctor pushed. He felt Donna's grip tighten. He looked back and saw that she was in pain. "Donna?" she collapsed into him breathing harshly.
"I'll end her life." The Reverend threatened. The Doctor looked at him.
"No, you. Will. Not." The Doctor spoke through gritted teeth.
"Damn it! You humanzzzz! Worshipping your tribal sky godzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazzz mine. And you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstall romancezzzzz… What'zzzzz to stop me killing her?"
"Oh, my dear god. My child!" Lady Eddison cried out, reaching toward him. Purple light surrounded the Reverend while he transformed into the Vespiform.
"What'zzzzz to stop me killing you all?" fully transformed he charged at everyone.
"Forgive me!" Lady Eddison pleaded with her son.
"No, no, Clemency, come back! Keep away, keep away my darling!" The Colonel called, pulling her away from the Vespiform.
"No! No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!" Agatha shouted, holding up the fire stone.
She ran out, the Doctor carrying the barely conscious Donna, and the Vespiform following them.
"Wait! Now it's chasing us!" she moaned, her eyes slowly closing.
"Stay with me Donna. Stay with me." He told her. Agatha drove up in one of the vintage cars and beeps the horn at them. The Vespiform breaks through the door that the Doctor had just shut.
"Over here! Come and get me, Reverend!" Agatha urged.
"Agatha, what are you doing?" The Doctor called out to her.
"If I started this Doctor, then I must stop it!" she answered, before she drove away. The Doctor ran to another car. He laid Donna in the backseat. He watched as the Vespiform went off after Agatha. The Doctor hoped in and drove after them. He took a few glances back at Donna.
"You said this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory." She whispered. Her voice barely auditable.
"Time is in flux, Donna! For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie loses her life and history gets changed. Now, just stay awake and try not to talk, okay?"
"But where's she going?"
"The lake! She's heading for the lake." What's she doing? He thought to himself.
The car stopped at the Silent Pool Lake. Agatha got out and held up the Firestone, which was engulfed in purple glow.
"Here I am! The honey in the trap. Come to me, Vespiform..." Agatha cried.
"She's controlling it…" Donna whispered. She closed her eyes and fell unconscious.
"Its mind is based on her thought processes. They're linked!" he looked back at Donna, only to find her unconscious. "Donna? Donna?! Wake up, Wake up!" he looked up at the Vespiform with such hate and anger, the Doctor himself could snap. The Doctor stepped in front of Agatha and faced the Vespiform.
"Don't hurt her! You're not meant to be like this. You've got the wrong template in your mind. You can save your self, and you can save Donna. Don't, just don't."
The Doctor snatched the Firestone off Agatha and threw it into the lake, the Vespiform chasing after it, drowning in a purple glow. The two of them looked down at the lake in sorrow. A slight murmur was heard, and the Doctor and Agatha looked over to see Donna's eyes open. Agatha noticed that the Doctor's face light up and relaxed, knowing that she was okay.
"Donna." He whispered grinning. He walked over to her, helping her stand.
"Drown it. Just like his father." Donna said sadly, looking at the bubbling water.
"Death comes as the end... and justice is served." Agatha told herself.
"Murder at the Vicar's rage." Donna just stared at him. He rubbed the back of his neck. "We-ell, needs a bit of work."
"Just one mystery left, Doctor. Who exactly are you?" Agatha asked walking over to where he stood, holding onto Donna as if that was his lifeline.
"Lady Eddison, the Colonel, and all the staff … what about them?" Donna asked the Doctor. She positioned herself on the console.
"Shameful story. They'd never talk of it. Too British. While the Unicorn does a bunk, back to London town. She could never even say she was there." The Doctor shrugged.
"But, what happens to Agatha?" Donna asks.
"Oh, great life! Met another man, married again. Saw the world. Wrote and wrote and wrote."
"She never thought her books were any good, though. And she must have spent all those years wondering."
"Thing is, I don't think she ever quite forgot. Great mind like that, some of the details kept bleeding through. All the stuff her imagination could use. Like, Miss Marple!"
"I should have made her sign a contract." Donna grumbled.
"And, where is it, where is it, hold on…" he bent down and lifted up a piece of the TARDIS floor and pulled out a chest. "Here we go.C..." he opened the chest and rummaged through the contents. "That is, C for Cybermen, C for Carrionites, and... Christie, Agatha!" He announced.
He showed a book to Donna. It was labeled, 'Death in the Clouds', with a giant wasp on the cover. "Look at that."
"She did remember!" Donna smiled.
"Somewhere in the back of her mind, it all lingered. And that's not all. Look at the copyright page." He handed the book to Donna. She opened it up and examined the copyright page.
"Facsimile edition, published in the year… five billion?!"
"People never stop reading them. She is the best selling novelist, of all time."
"But she never knew."
"Well, no one knows how they're gonna be remembered. All we can do is hope for the best. Maybe that's what kept her writing. Same thing keeps me travelling with you."
"Onwards?" Donna asked him smiling. He looked at her and smiled back.
"Onwards!" he smiled. She turned away and looked at the console. He watched her smiling; his hands traveled into his pockets. He pulled out a small box; his fingers opened it to see a small, gold band laying the box. "Onwards." He repeated. Just as he closed it Donna turned around.
"What was that?" she asked. He slipped the box back into his pockets and grinned.
"Nothing."
"Right, spaceman." She chuckled and walked off to her room. The Doctor smiled and leaned against the Console.
