More Jackson this chapter - Jackson is scared for Miller - Abby helps.

Thanks again, Loosely Divided! It's so nice knowing someone appreciates them as much as I do :) Xx

Jackson's shift had ended an hour ago. He'd gone to support Nathan, but he'd been brushed off. Jackson knew he was going to take it badly, but he'd wanted to help in any way he could. Maybe he'd helped by giving Nathan a target for his rage. The thought of that brought a lump to his throat. He couldn't stop working; as soon as his shift had ended, he'd have nothing to stop him thinking about it. And if he went back to his bunk, Nathan might be there. If he went to the on-call room, Nathan would think he was avoiding him. It was better to keep working even if there was nothing to do. They had no patients; he was only checking everything for the hundredth time.

He wondered for the thousandth time whether he should have gone after Nathan immediately. But Nathan had spurned his help. Maybe he'd needed space. Jackson swung between regretting his decision, and believing it to be his only choice. His stomach was in a tight ball thinking about it. What if Nathan didn't recover from this? Jackson knew Nathan well enough to know that his job defined him, in the same way Jackson's did. He didn't know how he would cope if someone took his patients away. He didn't know how Nathan would cope with having his weapons taken away.

"Jackson, you need to knock off," said Abby, behind him, startling him out of his thought pattern.

"I just…" he said, but he didn't have a response or an excuse ready.

"You're just working to avoid thinking about other things. I know that trick," she smiled. She put her hand on his arm. "We made the right decision, Jackson." He swallowed back his retort. She had made the decision. But he'd have made exactly the same one in her shoes.

"I'm scared," he admitted, "I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't a doctor. I don't know what he'll do without his role here."

"Jackson, you're a good doctor. The best I've ever seen. But you can't fix this. This is his issue to work through. All you can do is provide your support."

Abby had always been a hard mentor. From when he first started as her apprentice, even when she finally trusted him to run procedures on his own, the only feedback he got was where he could improve. He never minded; she pushed herself as hard as she did him. But her words warmed him now.

"What if it's not enough?" He whispered, voicing his real fear at last. What if he could do nothing?

"Do you remember Raven after her injury?"

Raven was strong. She'd recovered mentally, but it had taken her months. Nathan was expected to recover physically eventually. But it had almost destroyed Raven. Jackson's thoughts were jumping all over the place.

"I failed Raven," said Abby, swallowing hard against her admission. "I let Clarke leaving overshadow everything and I didn't help Raven the way she needed help. I kept trying to fix her, and never let her fix herself. Don't make my mistake. Nathan's lost his father. He's lost his friends. Now he's lost his job, which gave him purpose. He's lost the freedom of movement he took for granted. You have to let him come to terms with all of that. Just be there for him."

"Thank you, Abby," he said. He still couldn't swallow past the hard lump in his throat, but Abby's words had stuck.

"Just look after yourself as well, Jackson. I can't lose you, too."

Abby had tears in her eyes as she said it. She hadn't mentioned Clarke to him once since the death-wave, but she was a constant presence in their conversations. This was the most Abby had alluded to her. He wrapped his arms around her, wordlessly. She hugged him back tightly.

"You have an amazing daughter, Abby. She'll find her way back to you."

"I know," she whispered, but her heart wasn't in it. She was more scared than she was letting on. It scared Jackson, as it always did, to see Abby scared. She was his pillar, and he would do anything for her.

"Am I interrupting something?" Nathan's voice drifted quietly from the doorway.

"Not a thing," said Abby, letting Jackson go.

"Can I steal Jackson?"

"Please," she laughed, wiping her tears away brusquely, "he's outstayed his welcome."

Jackson smiled nervously at Nathan, trying to interpret his expression. He seemed more at ease, but there was still a stiffness to his shoulders.

"Oh, and Nathan Miller?" Said Abby, pretending sternness, as Jackson walked towards the door. Nathan turned to look at her. "Look after my boy."

He saluted for the second time that day. "Yes, ma'am."

Jackson flushed and almost ran from the room.

As they reached the corridor, Nathan started laughing. Jackson smiled in relief. He hadn't known what to expect.

"What's it like having Abby Griffin as a boss? Is it as terrifying as it seems?"

Jackson smiled, thinking about the woman who was his mentor, his best friend, his second mother, and yes, the most terrifying person he knew. "It's the best thing in the world."

"Well, I'm still scared of her. Your Abby is a very different woman to Chancellor Griffin."

"I know," Jackson smiled. "But she's always been there for me. When she saw how much I wanted to be a doctor, she'd let me watch procedures until I finished school, then I became her apprentice. Clarke would always come in after school, too," Jackson mused, remembering some of the happiest times of his life. "Once I started doing procedures on my own, Clarke would help. Before Jake was floated and Clarke was locked up, they were the happiest family I knew. I always envied them that, but they never intentionally made me feel left out."

Nathan looked at Jackson out of the corner of his eye. He wondered if Jackson had noticed his word use.

"Do you think Clarke's ok?" Asked Nathan.

"She has to be," said Jackson. He couldn't imagine an alternative. She had been like his sister, it hurt too much to consider the prospect of her death.

"So many people are gone," said Nathan, sadly.

Jackson slipped an arm behind Nathan's back. It was only when he did this that Nathan realised he'd been walking with a hunch, trying to take the pressure off his wound. He wrapped his arm gratefully around Jackson's and allowed himself to lean slightly.