A/N: Thank you again to everyone reading and reviewing. I meant to ask at the end of last chapter, but while you were reading did you realize that the story was catching back up to the first scene in chapter one when Nate discovers Chuck and Blair? I was hoping that it mirrored each other enough to make it not obvious but that the reader would recognize the scence. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or characters.
Blair and Chuck stayed hidden away in Chuck's childhood penthouse in the Palace the whole next day after Nate had discovered them. Blair had done her best to help the bruising and swelling in Chuck's face to go down. It was all her fault. She had come in between these two friends, and now she had no clue what her future held for her. Everything had always been so planned out. For the first time in her life she did not know what was going to become of her. She didn't know what made her feel sicker, the guilt of being discovered with Chuck or no longer knowing what her life was going to be. Chuck tried to comfort her, but he didn't get it. She didn't know who she was anymore. She always thought being with Chuck completed her, he understood her in a way no one ever could. However, she had always seen herself as Mrs. Nate Archibald, and now with that gone she didn't know who she was.
Chuck and Blair were laying next to each other in bed. Chuck was trying to make plans with her to get her stuff from DC and move into his apartment. Blair was half way listening, too lost in her thoughts to really respond. Her phone rang snapping her out of her own head; the caller ID flashed her mother's name. "Oh God, I cannot talk to her now. She has to have heard by now. I can't do this."
"Just answer it Blair. The sooner we get through this the sooner we can be together." He laced his fingers through hers to give her some sort of support.
With a audible inhale she answered, "Hello Mother."
Surprisingly Eleanor voice sounded calm yet direct. "Blair, you need to come home now. We have a lot of things to discuss. I will be expecting you in twenty minutes." With that Eleanor hung up. She did not have to raise her voice for Blair to interpret her anger.
Blair placed her phone down on the bed and began rising to her feet. She couldn't look back at Chuck. Seeing his face reminded her that every bruise was all her fault. If only she had had the courage to have been honest with Nate in the first place, but brave was something Blair Waldorf wasn't. She was selfish, and for as long as she can remember she strung both of these men along. Needed them both and using them to make her feel loved, and desired. Understood. Truly in her heart she did love both of these men. They had been there her whole life and she needed both of them to feel absolute. But now Nate would never forgive her, and the thought of him being gone from her life killed her.
"I've got to go home."
"I'll come with you." With that Chuck began to get out of the bed.
"No. Stay. I need to do this on my own. You being there won't help." She finally turned to look at him. She stroked his cheek softly with her hand. "But thank you. You need to stay here and recover. Walk me to the door."
Chuck was clinging to her hand as if he was scared to actually let her out of the apartment. Once she got to his door she turned to look him deep in his eyes. "I'm going to talk things over with my mother and then I'm going to come back. I'll be right back Chuck." She tried to reassure him. "Everyone is going to be upset, but I'm just going to explain to them that what we have is real and they can either choose to support us or not. Nothing is going to get in our way again. I promise. I promise Chuck; I'll be back."
He released a long slow breath and pulled her to him. He kissed her forehead. "I love you so much Blair. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't care who tries to stand in our way. Go and smooth things over, and I will be waiting her for you. When you come back we can finally start our lives together. No more hiding our love for each other." He ran his hands down her arms pulling her hands to his lips kissing her knuckles.
"I'll be back." With that she turned and walked out the door.
Chuck placed a call to his driver to take him back to his apartment to grab something out of his safe. He then called down to room service to have champagne sent up later that night. He had waited his whole life for Blair Waldorf to be his and he wasn't going to let one more day go by without making it official. He had bought the ring the week after she had come back to his apartment and they had spent the weekend making love. There was nothing he had ever been more sure of than his unwavering love for her.
When Blair walked through the elevator into the living room she was surprised to find not only Eleanor waiting for her but Anne Archibald and Nate as well. Her stomach flip flopped when she saw Nate sitting there watching her walk in. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. The last time she had seen him he was so angry and hurt, but now his face seemed more anxious than angry.
"Blair sit down." Eleanor demanded and Blair took a seat where her mother pointed next to Nate. "Blair, Anne and I are very worried and upset with your behavior. We both understand having cold feet and wanting to rebel, but do you understand the consequences of your actions? You are getting married in less than a month. Its time to let go of certain infatuations and get serious about your future."
Shocked Blair studdered, "But...but I don't understand." She looked to Nate whose blue eyes were stuck to her. "I thought you called of the engagement. I mean after what happened yesterday..."
"Blair I..." Nate began but was interuppted by Anne.
"Blair darling. Nate was upset yesterday and may have said and done things he is not proud of. However after taking time to calm down he realizes he still does want to marry you. You two are meant for each other. I think that maybe the two of you just needed to see what was out there to really realize that you belong with each other." She smiled though her face practically did not move.
Nate took Blair's hand. "Blair can I please talk to you in private?"
"Um, okay." Blair was in shock. It was almost as if she were having an out of body experience. This meeting was so surreal there was no way it was really happening. She followed Nate to her bedroom where he closed the door behind them allowing them the privacy he wanted.
"Nate, whats going on here? This cannot be the way you really feel. You said we were done yesterday. I just don't really understand what you're doing here." She paced back and forth worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
"Blair, stop." Nate put his hands on her shoulders to get her still then lead her to sit on the chaise. "To say I was upset yesterday would be the understatement of the century, but my mother was right. I did take time to do a lot of soul searching and thinking about everything in our past; everything in our future. And I realized Blair that all of this is my fault. I have never been there for you like you needed me to be. I've always put sports then school and my career before you, and practically sent you into his arms." He took a deep breath and continued. "I know I may not be as passionate or as deep as Chuck, but my love for you is real. I love you Blair, and I want to marry you. I want to be the man who is good enough for you. Who is strong for you. I want to be the man you turn to. I want all those things for us, Blair. I can't imagine my life without you. This has nothing to do with our parents or what we've been brought up to believe. This is about me and you and our love for each other."
Silent tears were streaming down Blair's face. Nate had never opened up to her before. She had always assumed he loved her because he was told to. She never really thought his love for her went so deep. A sharp pang of guilt ran through her as Chuck's face flashed before her eyes.
"I love you Blair, and that's why I am going to let you choose. Really think about it. Who do you want to be with, him or me. And don't think about what our parents want or anything. What do you want Blair, because if you choose to be with me then its for good. I want to be the only man in your life. However, if you decide Chuck is the man you want to be with then I will respect that decision and let you two be together." Blair thought back to just a couple of months ago when Chuck had asked her to make the same decision. She had made it that day; she chose Chuck. So why was she sitting here trying to decided all over again. Maybe because before she still felt like it wasn't real. That her and Chuck would always be safe from the public eye, but now she was actually being honest with herself. She had to choose one of these two men that she had been in love with her whole life. Which one could she let go of. Which life did she want? The wife of a powerful businessman full of passion and darkness. Who saw her flaws and all and still loved her, maybe even more for them. Or was it with the politician. The all-American boy. Sweet and simple; safe. The life she had always wanted for herself. Nate left and she spent the rest of the night really being honest with herself about what she wanted for herself, and the more she thought about it the more she realized what her decision had to be.
At 2:00 in the morning Blair sent a text to Chuck. Then she ran to the bathroom and expelled all the anxiety she had inside her. She hated herself for the choices she had made that brought her to this point in her life. She had played with the two people she loved in the world and now she would spend the rest of her life being punished because no matter what she chose she would lose part of herself forever.
Chuck's phone buzzed and he rushed over to grab it. He had been anxiously waiting to Blair to show up and had been pacing all over the penthouse for hours. He starred at the phone reading her message over and over again.
"I'm sorry."
He was paralyzed. He stood there standing still for what seemed like an eternity, and then will all his strength threw his phone at the mirror over the mantel shattering it into millions of pieces. He'd lost her. He didn't know what had changed between now and when she left, but he knew he had lost Blair Waldorf forever.
A/N: okay so I know you guys hate me bc she chose Nate and not Chuck, but this story was never meant to have a happy ending. Acutally the ending I have planned out is a tear jerker. However, please continue reading bc Chuck and Blair are nowhere near over and there is A LOT of drama coming up!
