A/N: I edited the previous chapter a little , because I forgot to add some things. also , I know quite a few things differ from canon here in this chapter but c'mon , it's not anything like , really earth-shattering , y'know ? thank you all for your support , and happy reading !
"It's been such a long time coming
but I feel good."
-Evanescence / Good Enough
chapter 9: gift
"You look chipper today." Chapman noted, spotting a grinning Nicky walk up to them with her tray. It was the cheeriest Morello had seen her in ages. Vause was sitting silently with them, immersed in a book.
She looked much better than when she came in; her cheekbones were less prominent, her arms and legs looked less like twigs and more like actual limbs, and her body finally had some shape to it. Though her hair looked much healthier, it was still long and unkempt. She wasn't as thin as before, though the dark circles underneath her eyes were as dark as ever. Some colour had returned to her pale skin.
"I'm getting my bunk at last." Nicky answered happily, shovelling oatmeal into her mouth at top speed. "Congrats! Wow, that took really long." Chapman said in surprise, sipping her drink, absently stirring her own oatmeal, which oddly resembled a bowl of cement.
"Yeah, Caputo said they were all full, but some of the inmates got transferred, so I'm moving in." Nicky said cheerfully, her bowl of oatmeal more than halfway empty. Her fingers were drumming on the table, as though she was absolutely unable to sit still. Morello resisted the urge to reach out and gently rest her hand on Nicky's.
"I remember when I was here the first time, it didn't take that long to get assigned a bunk." Chapman reminisced, stirring her oatmeal absently. Nicky downed the last bit of her own oatmeal, drained her drink, and left.
"Is it me, or is she eating so much more these days? I swear, she's like the only one around here who actually finishes the meals." Chapman said, pushing her barely touched bowl of oatmeal away in disgust, while Morello and Vause simply carried on ignoring her.
Nicky gathered all her things in her arms, walking to the bunks with some difficulty, her thin arms barely keeping her belongings pressed against her chest. Vause, who was in her bunk reading, gave a start of surprise.
"Holy shit. You're my new bunkie?" Vause said in delight, pushing her glasses onto the top of her head. Nicky grinned and dumped her stuff onto the bed.
"Fuck yes! I thought I'd have to share with someone I didn't know." Vause laughed and put aside her book, hugging Nicky, who patted her back gently.
"So where's all my stuff?" Nicky asked. Vause raised a single eyebrow. "I'm not sure. I think you should ask Morello." She said, grinning at Nicky, who sighed.
"So Piper has this theory that you're not speaking to her because you're angry at her." Vause said, looking at Nicky expectantly. "I'm completely alright with Chapman. Believe it or not, the world doesn't actually revolve around her." Nicky said. Vause rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She sighed. "I'm talking about Lorna."
"Mind your own business." Nicky said absently, shoving her edgy curls out of her face and leaving to find the little Italian-American girl, leaving Vause to sigh at her again.
She found Morello in the bunk next to hers, reading a magazine. "Nicky!" Morello said in surprise, putting away her magazine. "You got your bunk?" She asked.
Nicky nodded. "Yeah. With Vause." She replied. "Oh good, that's not too far from here! So uh, I'm guessing you want your stuff, right?" Morello rooted through her little cabinet and pulled out a small box full of random items.
Morello didn't tell her that when she was first taken to max, all the other inmates had descended upon her things like vultures. Leanne wanted her radio, Yoga Jones wanted her jacket, Boo wanted her headphones, and so on, but Morello had managed to wheedle them to return most of Nicky's things. She'd had to part with half her commissary funds, her brand-new tube of lipstick (what did Angie want to do with lipstick? Trade it for meth?), her favourite pair of socks, and various other random items.
She'd kept Nicky's things safe and sound for her return, giving away only her hairbrush to Red, and letting Boo keep one of her notebooks. Morello used to bring them out every morning and cry into Nicky's old sweater, which still smelled like her—soap and smoke, most likely from her work in electrical, or her illegally obtained cigarettes. Hell, she'd worn the damn thing every day, as though carrying a part of Nicky with her.
Weeks passed, and Nicky hadn't returned, and gradually the items that Morello had cried over every morning now sat in her cabinet gathering dust.
Nicky rooted through the things in the box for a bit, then frowned. "Some of my stuff's gone." She said. "Um, Red has your hairbrush, and Boo took one of your notebooks. I kept the rest though!" Morello said guiltily, perking up at the last bit.
Nicky sighed, tossed a "thanks, kid" over her shoulder, and walked away, her boxful of items in her hands. Morello rooted through her cabinet, and her fingers brushed against something unfamiliar.
She pulled out a notebook, and flipped to the first page, where Nicky had scrawled her surname into the top right corner to indicate that this belonged to her. She didn't know she had another notebook. Out of intense curiousity, Morello flipped to a random page in the notebook, and found it completely full of drawings.
Morello flipped through slowly, her eyes taking in the detail of Nicky's cartoonish drawings. Sure, she wasn't a skilled artist like Daya, but her drawings had a certain childish charm to them.
She saw doodles of everyone, from Vause to Chapman to Red to even Boo, and so on. There were little drawings of Vause and Chapman kissing, of Boo and Pennsatucky playing with Little Boo, of Norma and Gina playing cards, and so on. Every stroke of Nicky's pencil was clearly carefully calculated, and full of love.
And the next page was completely full of drawings of her. Drawings depicting her with her brow furrowed as she planned her wedding with Christopher (oh, that seemed like such a long time ago), of her when she got a new haircut, of her smiling and wearing her scarf with a pair of sunglasses perched atop her head.
And Nicky had drawn herself too. There were drawings of her hitting Luschek on the head with a wrench, of her as a child sitting on Red's lap, and of course, drawings of her and Morello together. Apparently she'd paid more attention to these, and had made an effort to make them more lifelike.
In the drawings, Morello was clutching her pillow and crying with her head in Nicky's lap, while she held her gently and stroked her short hair. There were others too, such as one where Nicky was wearing a tux and Morello was wearing a wedding dress, and their hands were joined. There were other doodles too, but the drawings involving Morello occupied the majority of space in the book.
So on it went, till she'd stopped suddenly, halfway through a drawing that she never finished. It was another piece of artwork depicting the two of them as teenagers, apparently. In the drawing, a teenaged girl with a halo of messy curls was holding out a flower to a different, tiny girl with dark hair. It wasn't finished, however, so the artwork was mostly comprised of sketchy lines here and there. Morello's chest tightened. It was the day she was sent to max.
"Having fun?" Nicky asked sarcastically, walking up to Morello. She jumped. "Jesus!" She exclaimed, dropping the book.
"Nope, just me." Nicky said, snatching up the notebook. "Who the hell gave you the right to look through my stuff?" She asked softly, tucking the notebook under her arm.
"I..." Morello couldn't answer. With an almost exasperated look on her face, Nicky walked away angrily. Morello couldn't help but notice that despite her anger, her eyes were completely blank and emotionless, like a doll's.
Morello finished her breakfast early the next day, using her time to scout the field for the tiny wildflowers that grew by the fence. She pounced on every single one she saw, gathering them into a tiny bouquet. She pulled a small blue ribbon out of her pocket (she'd had to trade a pack of M&Ms with Daya for it. It was pretty much fucking daylight robbery) and bound the small blossoms tightly.
She knotted a neat ribbon, making sure both ends were of equal length. Pleased with her handiwork, Morello slipped the flowers into her pocket.
She figured she'd give them to Nicky as a token of her apology. After all, every girl liked flowers, right? While Nicky wasn't like any other girl, surely even she liked flowers.
Morello snuck into the library, where Poussey was already there, having a chat with Soso, their voices low. They looked up when she entered. "Your girl ain't here yet." Poussey said. "Oh no no no, she's not my girl, we're just friends is all!" Morello laughed softly, waving away the comment, while Poussey and Soso shared a look, the corner of Soso's mouth quirking upward slightly.
"Anyway uh, will you pass this to Nicky later when she gets her?" Morello said hopefully, handing the bouquet to Poussey, who clicked her tongue.
"Damn. You two sweeter than fuckin' lollipops." Poussey said, grabbing the flowers from Morello. She gave her a grateful nod, and scampered out.
Later that night, Morello walked by Nicky's and Vause's bunk, and peeked in. Vause's side was extremely tidy, with her books organized neatly on her cabinet, and her other things lined up properly beside the books. A stack of letters occupied the front corner of her table, while she usually set her glasses on the other side.
Nicky's side was messy, as though she'd tried organizing her things as well as Vause had and given up halfway. Her books were all stacked up in a pile, her makeup arranged messily next to it. Her other things were in a box, as she couldn't be bothered to put them away. There were no letters in sight.
With a jolt, Morello realised that Nicky had no correspondence with her family at all. At least Franny came to visit sometimes. Outside of Litchfield, Nicky had no one.
Morello gazed at her bunk sadly for a moment, before noticing the bundle of wildflowers tied with a blue ribbon sitting on the edge of her table wedged between the wall and her makeup. The edges of the flower petals were already blackening and drying, and it wouldn't be long before the entire bouquet of flowers followed suit.
Even so, Morello smiled. By the looks of it, she'd purposefully placed it at such an angle where only she could see it; like a secret that belonged only to them.
Morello dawdled there for a moment, her gaze lingering on the small flowers. Nicky returned to her bunk, her wild hair damp and plastered to her skin, her towel draped around her neck.
"Having fun?" She asked, repeating her earlier question, though her voice wasn't unfriendly this time. Morello bit her lip uncomfortably.
"Relax. It was just a matter of time till you saw it anyway. And it's not like you never knew about it previously." Nicky said, putting away her towel. "Knew about what?" Morello asked.
Nicky sighed loudly. Morello crossed her arms over her chest, clearly offended.
"It's nothing." Nicky sat on her bed, gesturing for Morello to sit with her. "So, you unpacked all your things yet?" Morello asked. Nicky shook her head.
"Okay." Morello answered, and they sat in silence for a bit. "Thank you." Nicky said suddenly. "For what?" Morello asked.
"The flowers." Nicky said. Morello was surprised, but a warm feeling began to spread across her chest. She threw her arms around Nicky, her head resting against her forearm.
"You're welcome."
