** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1

Conversations with other women 9/11

"How did you end up talking about us anyway? Not that I'm complaining I'm just curious," James said smiling up at jean where she had propped herself up on his chest her naked body still entwined with his.

"Apparently part of the prevailing gossip about my marriage , after what's actually true that Richard cheated me, is that you and I have been carrying on a steamy affair for years." She replied laughing softly as his eyes widened.

"I hope you told her we hadn't that in spite of the fact I'd have loved to have been doing just that I would never have out your marriage at risk."

"Of course I did James until a couple of hours ago I didn't even believe you'd want any sort of relationship with me let alone a steamy one. Besides as I told her in spite of his repeated infidelities I was boringly faithful to Richard right up to the end."

"Why did you stay with him so long Jean?" James asked knowing he was risking souring the mood of their first night together but unable to stop himself from asking anyway. He'd watched her be made miserable by the man who's sole mission should have been to make her happy for years and he'd never underwood why she hadn't walked away sooner. "I watched him treat you like crap for years, make you unhappy and it killed me why did you let him treat you so badly?"

"It's old fashioned I know but I took my marriage vows seriously and I believed him to begin with when he told me the affairs meant nothing and he still loved me and wanted it to work. Then toward the end when I realised I ..." Jean said quietly her words stalling as her eyes dropped to his chest and he realised she was frightened to say whatever he was about to.

"Say it Jean, nothing you could say would change how I feel about you or how much I love you." He whispered his fingers skimming her cheek coming to rest under her chin and tilting her head toward him so her eyes met his again. "You can say anything to me, I love you and that isn't going to change, I'm not him so just say it."

"When I realised I'd fallen in love with you and nothing he could do even if he chose to try could change that I thought it made me as guilty as him. I thought I was being ridiculous that you could be re feel the same for me but it didn't change the fact I wanted you to and I wanted you more than I wanted him. So in my eyes that made me no better than him and it wasn't until Chris saw him and Suzanna together and made me do something that I realised the fact I hadn't acted on how I felt meant I didn't have to stay with him when I was so unhappy."

"And you never once thought to tell me how you felt once he was gone? You never thought about taking a risk? Not that it would have been a risk as I'm sure you've now realised."

"Of course I didn't James." Jean sighed realising he didn't see how unlikely she had thought it was that this would have been the outcome to her declaration had she decided to make it. "Setting aside the fact I'm your boss and it would have been a huge abuse of my position to Mae any advances toward you on a romantic level I've already told you I didn't see what Laura claimed should have been blindingly obvious. I never once, even for the briefest of moments thought that if I did take leave of my professional senses and make a move you would welcome it or could feel the same. Even when Laura had set out her apparently watertight case tonight I still didn't believe it until the second you kissed me and even then I had my doubts."

"And now? Do you still doubt how much I love you, how much I want you?" James asked revelling in the fact that the pensiveness that had overtaken her seemed to lift immediately and her eyes glistened with the same happiness that radiate from the smile she gave.

"No, I'm not saying I don't find it all amazing and unexpected but no I don't doubt that you're here because you want to be not because you were backed into a corner by one slightly tipsy woman then thrown into a confined space with another." jean replied the shocked giggle that she gave as she finished her reassurance and he immediately flipped them so that he was leaning over her kissing her hungrily sounding alien to her. She'd forgotten what it was like to be so easily distracted, so easily lost in someone el and it was something she knew she would enjoy getting used to again.

"Good because if you think we could ever go back k to how things were when we left the station tonight you'd be seriously deluded!" James smiled his body reacting to hers on instinct as he spoke. "I intend to do whatever it takes to make sure you me re feel like you are under appreciated or unloved in a relationship for the rest of your life. Now that you've shown me how much more amazing the reality if being with you is than the fantasy was I have no intention of letting you go, you're stuck with me now."

"That's the best news I've heard in years." She smiled as they again let themselves be over taken with their new found permission to explore and mark out territory on each others bodies and she realised that accepting Laura's invitation for a drink that night might just have been the best decision she ever made.