A/N: Well I'm back from Vacation had have noticed a lot of favorites for this story and my others. Thank you everyone for adding my story and for leaving all of your awesome comments. It took me a few days to write this, I've been tired from vacation, but I finally have the chapter it's a decently long one, I hope you guys enjoy!! Thanks again for everything!!!!!
A Million Sighs
When you weep you can know that it's alright
As you sleep, I'll just follow your door light
We can talk as long as you hold on tight
Just when breath is a million sighs
I can feel every breath that your breathing
I can feel every thought that your thinking
We can talk till a thousand years gone by
You and I
Hanson - Runaway Run
"I'm glad you decided to eat here for Thanksgiving" I said to Jake as he and I were preparing a meal for, myself, Jake, Dad, and Paul. He had decided to come and eat with Dad and I since he really hadn't been around. He practically lived at the Cullen's home. I was still waiting for a chance to meet Renesmee. I heard the sound of Jacob chopping up some carrots, as I checked on the Turkey.
"I figured it would be a nice change, you know? I mean we are all pretty much getting along at the moment" he said to me. I suddenly heard the door open and shut loudly and when I looked up I saw Paul.
"Jeez, you leave the door open and any bum can just walk right in" Jake said turning his attention to Paul.
"I love you too baby" Paul said with his sexy smirk, as he walked to me. Jacob stuck his finger at Paul, and he pretended to catch it, and place it in his pocket. I rolled my eyes at the two idiots. As I turned back around Paul's arms wrapped around my waste. He kissed my cheek, and kept his arms around me.
"Smells good, when's it going to be ready?" he questioned.
"Well you know you can help us out a bit, you eat enough of the food in this house" Jake smirked.
"I help out around here, right sweetie. I've been bringing food 4 out of the 7 nights a week I'm here" he said letting go of me to grab some plates for the table.
"Plus you really don't want me cooking anything" he laughed.
"The last time, it ended in disaster. Ask your Sister" he added. I looked over at Jake and nodded.
"He's right you know, I mean there are certain things he can cook, but when it's big meals.. Watch out! I think I was in the bathroom every 10 minutes after having your beef stew" I laughed. I remembered a few weeks ago, when he attempted a stew for me. He ended up having to take me home because I got sick. Other times he tried to cook for Dad and I, and well let's just say it just didn't turn to well.
"Okay, well then be useful" Jake said with a smile.
Once the table was set and the food was ready we sat down for dinner. Dad had called Rebecca and we all wished her a Happy Thanksgiving. It was a pretty good dinner, both Dad and Paul really loved the cooking Jake and I had done.
"So Jake, how's Nessie?" I asked. He took a quick bite and then placed his fork down.
"She's doing so well, growing too fast. We are going to be getting her into hunting and everything. She's so eager to do things" he said with a smile on his face. His face turned a bit red when he spoke of her.
"Can I meet her?" I asked. I figured why not ask, she would most likely, maybe one day be my Sister in law. Plus she was the love of my Brothers life, I wanted to meet her.
"I have to talk to Bella about it" I looked at him and he stared back.
"So, I won't be able to see the baby, what? I can't cross onto Cullen territory?" I questioned.
"No, Rach. It's not that at all… really!" he said moving his hands around.
"Then what Jake?" I asked.
"I'm not going to have you go over there to be surrounded by …"
"By Vampires?" I questioned, raising my voice slightly. Dad eyed me from his spot at the table, while Paul grabbed my leg and squeezed it.
"Rachael, they may be Vampires that don't drink human blood, but that doesn't mean they don't have tendencies" he said.
"But it's okay for you?" I asked.
"Paul told me that Vampire venom can…"
"Rach, please relax" Paul whispered into my ear. His breath lingered there for a few minutes. I took a deep breath and looked over at my Father, who looked upset with me, then back at Jake.
"I'm sorry, I just .. I want to be apart of both of your lives, so much more than I am now. I feel kind of left out, like I'm missing out on all the big excitement" Jake snorted.
"You really aren't missing out Sis" he said to me.
"Okay, I'll talk to Bells, if she wants to allow you to come over and meet Nessie, I'll come over and I'll take you there. I know you want to be apart of what we are, but honestly Rach, it's not as good as you think" he said.
"He's right sweetie, it's okay but I mean.. you've only seen me really angry once. It really get's to you.. And then the whole pack knows your thoughts.. It's creepy" he said taking my hand.
"Yeah, Leah is having a hard time adjusting especially when all of us guys know her thoughts. So, it's not all it's cracked up to be really" Jake said trying to explain. I shrugged, and took another bite of my dinner.
"This is really good food, Jake, Rach, you two did an incredible job" Dad said looking at the two of us.
"I'm just glad to have at least the two of you here with me" Dad said with a smile.
"I'm sorry I left in a hurry like that" Jake said to Dad and then to me.
"You are old enough to make your own decisions" Dad said.
"Just please come around more often, I have a feeling I'll be loosing another child soon" he looked over at me. I put my fork down.
"How's that Daddy?" I questioned. I wasn't planning on going back to school, I was staying right here, in my home.
"You will be out of here soon enough, your young and your in love.. I understand" he said with a smile.
"Dad!" I moaned. The three guys at the table laughed.
~*~*~*~*~
"Jeez Rach, watch your mouth, your Dad is in the other room" Paul said taking his hand and placing it over my mouth. I looked up at him, the warmth of our naked bodies were touching. I looked down at him and smiled. A sexy smirk beamed on his face.
"We are going to get caught one of these days, don't you realize this?" he questioned.
"I'm a grown woman" I stated proudly. I got off of him and laid myself down next to him. He wrapped his warm arm around my body and held me tight.
"Then move in with me" he said to me as he kissed my cheek. I looked up at him, our bodies still touching closely. His smile faded when he noted my reaction.
"I can't leave my Father" I said in a saddened voice. He looked at me, and moved a stray hair from my face.
"You wouldn't be leaving him completely Rach. I mean you did go to College and you came and visited. If you move in with me the visits can be more frequent.. You'll be closer to home" he said. His big dark eyes stared deep into my soul. I did want to move into his small home with him, it felt right to me. I just couldn't find it in me to leave my Father just yet.
"I don't want to upset him, I mean Jake's been coming around more, but still.. Daddy needs someone" I said as I pushed myself out of bed and began to put on some comfortable clothes to sleep in. He looked up at me, and reached over the bed to where I was changing.
"Babe, you won't upset him. I'm sure he'll be fine. You heard what he said at the dinner table. I'm asking you to come and live with me. I'd really love it if you did. I could wake up to you every day, even though I pretty much already do, but the house can be ours, it's something that we can call home together" his hand grabbed mine as I sat back down. I looked over at him, he looked upset that I had said no to him.
"Can I just have some time to think about it, I still need a job. I won't move out until I have one. I don't care if I have to go back to being a waitress. I just would feel more comfortable if I had a job" I said to him.
"Please think about it. I would love it if you would say yes" he said. I pulled the sheets over me and put laid myself back down.
"I'm not saying no, I will move in with you… just not yet" I said to him. Our noses were now touching as I spoke to him. A few minutes of silence proceeded my answer. He let out a sigh and placed his arm around me. I turned around and he bent his body so that his shape matched mine.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
November ended quickly and December brought a pretty cold chill in the air. I still had not let Paul know if I was going to be living with him or not. I didn't even mention a single word to my Dad, I didn't want to upset him. I had gotten a job at the Mil Creek Bar and Grill in forks right off on route 101. It was a decent drive, but if I could make the tips I made while working in College I'd be fine. Jake allowed me to take his car since he wasn't going to use it for quite some time.
It was a few weeks before Christmas and I was trying to save up money for gifts. It was the first thing on my agenda. I couldn't believe how quickly this year had come and gone, and how much of a change my life had gone through.
I was in the employee room at the restaurant packing my things up to go home for the day. I had an early shift which was always a plus, Paul was picking me up today. He had dropped me off before heading over to the council for a meeting. Once I was done gathering my things I headed outside. The front of the place looked like an old western type of building, with red siding. A small bit of frost or snow had fallen on the cold ground, and I noticed my breath lingering in the cold winter air. I watched as Paul's truck pulled up into the parking lot.
"Hey babe" I got in the truck and kissed him. His lips were warm, they always were even on the coldest of days. I always needed him to keep me warm. I cuddled up against him, and placed the lap belt over me. I had been sitting in the middle of his truck, because I got cold very easily and being next to him, made it that much better. He kissed the top of my head and we pulled out of the graveled parking lot.
"Where are we going?" I questioned when he had passed the road to go back home. He smiled and tried to keep his mouth shut.
"I have to drop something off … I hope you don't mind" he said. I eyed him, he had some kind of devious plan going on. I wasn't exactly sure what it was. I just nodded and kept my eye anxiously out the window for any clues. I had never been up this way before, and when we came onto a dirt road leading into a bunch of trees I grew skeptical.
"Paul, where are we going?" I asked
"Be patient we are almost there" he said to me.
"Someone lives back here?" I questioned. He nodded still not saying where we were heading. We came upon a beautiful faded white colored home. A porch ran around the whole rectangular shape of the home, it was so old fashioned, I absolutely loved it. I looked at him and then noticed Jacob standing on the front porch in front of the door. I eyed him and then looked back at Jake, who stood there proudly with his arms crossed.
(A/N: I'm using the book they described in the book, because I like it a lot better. Also this part I something I wanted to add in, they don't say what happens between the end of September and beginning of December, so I'm adding this in. ENJOY)
"Is this the Cullen's home?" I questioned eyeing every part of it. I was looking out for any signs that this was the home of Vampires. When I looked around everything looked just as normal as any home would.
"If your looking for flying bats and a old creepy mansion, you've got it all wrong with these guys. They seemed to fit the definition of normal" he laughed. I ended up laughing with him, it was a nervous laugh. As Paul shut the truck off, Jacob walked over to my side and opened the door. He looked at me with a smile.
"I talked to the Cullen's they said they would love to have you over to meet everyone. Just don't tell Dad I took you here, he's still skeptical you know him" Jake said taking my hand and helping me out of the truck. I wrapped my arms around my Brothers neck as I landed on the ground.
"Jacob, you are by the far the greatest Brother. I can't wait to meet Nessie and to see Bella again after all of these years" I said. I pulled away and noted that Paul was standing next to us. I took his hand in mine and Jacob led us towards the house.
"I gotta tell you, these guys are really good at playing normal" I said to Jake as we approached the porch. He laughed.
"Don't judge a book by it's cover" he laughed.
"Oh, what so there are like flying bats, and coffins and chains and…"
"No, I was just kidding" he laughed. I hit him on the back as we walked to the door. He laughed again. I noticed him opening the door as if it were his home too. I guess the Cullen's had taken Jake in. There were no signs of the other two Seth and Leah, I guessed they were out and about. When we got inside the home was humungous. The walls that looked to once be in the home had been no longer there, a wide open space with several windows on the south side, brightened the room.
"Don't Vampires hate sunlight" I whispered.
"That's not a problem for us" I felt my heart beating really fast when I stopped and looked up at a tall, yet handsome Vampire. His hair was perfect, his facial features were perfect, everything about this was perfect. I looked at him and felt my face blush.
"I'm sorry did I startle you?" he questioned with a slight laugh. I looked up at him and went to speak but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and then began to speak again.
"No, not at all I just didn't think I was talking so loud" I said. He chuckled slightly, although he did look slightly tense.
"I'm Edward, Bella's husband" he said with a nod. I was expecting a hand shake or something.
"Why do I smell more dog?" I heard someone yell. When I looked towards a spiraling staircase I hadn't noticed before a blonde woman came slowly down. She looked at me and then over at Paul, she didn't look at all friendly.
"Don't mind Rosalie, she can be awfully bitchy sometimes" Edward looked at me. Did I say something out loud? She grunted and headed away from where we were all standing.
"Hey Rosalie .. What do you call a …"
"JACOB SHUT UP!" she yelled. Jake snickered slightly and Edward just glanced at him rolling his eyes. Behind Edward stood a girl that looked familiar. She was carrying a child, she didn't look 3 months old, she looked more like a toddler. I eyed the little girl and realized it must have been Renesmee and Bella. Bella smiled slightly, she looked so different, she looked porcelain in a way. I guess it was because she was now one of them, no longer a living breathing human, they had changed her.
"Rachael" she said with a smile. I eyed her. Maybe she had remembered me a little.
"Hi Bella, it's been a while hasn't it?" I questioned. She smiled, as I noted Renesmee trying to get out of Bella's arms. She was struggling.
"Nessie stay still" Edward scolded her slightly. The little girl with the cute bouncy curls and brown eyes pointed at me. I knew I was blushing and I also knew that every Vampire in the room could hear my heart beating. I watched as Bella looked at her.
"That's Jacob's Sister" she told the little girl. Nessie nodded and still struggled to get down.
"Nessie, no biting okay! Remember only Jake" Edward said watching Bella release her from her arms. I looked at Nessie and my grip around Paul's hand tightened. She walked over to me like a toddler would, except she didn't even waddle. She looked up at me and smiled. Her arms reached up like she wanted me to hold her. I looked at Edward and Bella for an answer.
"It's fine Rachael, she's harmless. She wants you to pick her up" Bella said softly. Her voice sounded like a beautiful music note. I smiled and let go of Paul's hand. I bent down slightly and picked her up, she carefully placed her hands on my face. She smiled and looked me in the eyes. She was adorable, I could see why Jacob loved her so much. She then proceeded to show me things. I didn't know how she was doing it, but I saw her with Jake. I watched all of the fun times they had together. I wasn't sure when I started smiling but when she let go of my face, I was still smiling. Nessie looked at me with a smile on her face.
"She can show you things, I'm sorry did it startle you?" Bella questioned.
"No, not at all" I chuckled slightly.
"Nessie you can talk to her" I heard Jake say. I looked at the cute little girl. She just giggled, and wiggled her way out of my arms. She ran to Jacob and he picked her up, he lifted her high over his head. Then he blew lightly on her belly making silly noises for her to laugh. She giggled and kicked her feet. I watched as my Brother had really grown up. The only thing he ever loved before was his car, and motorbikes. Now he loved a child and I was so proud of him. My little Brother was no longer little.
"Would you like something to drink?" Bella questioned. I shook my head.
"I'm okay for now, thank you" I said. I didn't realize how dry my throat was, but I tried to ignore it.
"You wanna go hunting?" I heard Jake questioned her. The word hunting had a whole different meaning to Vampires. I looked over at Jake, then I realized that Jake hunts too. He kills Animals and eats them, that meant Paul did too. I felt a sudden urge to vomit slightly, but held it in.
"We have to get back to La Push anyway" Paul said. I didn't realize how uncomfortable he was in a house full of Vampires.
"Yeah, I did promise Dad I'd make dinner" I laughed. Bella smiled.
"Tell Billy I said hi, I haven't seen him in a while" Bella glanced at me. I nodded.
"Of course I will" I said to her.
"If you want to come visit Jake, please come over anytime. We could catch up" Bella said with a welcoming smile. I smiled right back at her, and nodded.
"Sure of course I'd love to" I said.
"I'm sure Nessie would love another playmate" she said.
"I'd love to come over again, just let me know when" I told her. Paul squeezed my hand and I knew he wanted to go.
"It was nice to meet you Edward" I said looking at him. He nodded.
"Same to you" he said very politely. I walked to Nessie.
"And you too munchkin" I said as she reached her arms out. She still stayed in Jake's arms but she had given me a hug and giggled as she did.
"Bye Jake" I said kissing him on the cheek as Nessie pulled back.
After we said our goodbyes we got into the truck and Paul started the engine.
"They are a very nice Family" I said to him. He kind of smiled but not really.
"Sorry Sweetie the smell in there was hurting my nose" his mood lightened.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Vampire's have a smell that wolves hate, every time Jake's come back, I smell it on him. It stings" he coughed a bit.
"I'm sorry, next time I'll come alone" I said to him.
"It's okay, I don't mind taking you, not one bit" he said and leaned over to kiss me.
We headed back to my house and were both terribly exhausted. The sun hadn't even set yet, and the day still was young. We were sitting outside on the hammock, just relaxing and enjoying each others company. It was cold but with his warm body it didn't seem that way.
"So did you talk to your Father yet?" he questioned. I shook my head and tried not to speak, I'd cry if I did. I didn't speak to my Dad, and I really didn't want to leave him.
"What, why not sweetie?" he questioned. His face looked torn and his eyes became slightly glassy. I knew he was upset.
"I can't do it Paul, I can't get up and just leave Dad again. He'll be all alone, at least he had Jake when I was gone" I said to him. I felt a lump building in my throat.
"Baby, please.. I'd love to take this next step in our relationship" he said to me. I looked at him.
"Paul I want it too, you have to realize that. I can't right now, I need to help him out, please don't get upset" I said noticing his fists clenching tightly.
"WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH ME?" he practically yelled. He stood up and stood directly in front of the hammock. His fists were turning a bit white, and his face was bright red.
"I didn't say that I didn't" my tears were inevitable, they came pouring out of my eyes. I hated when he got angry. I stood up right directly in front of him. His lips curled up and heard a snarl out of him, the one I had heard when he had phased in front of me the first time.
"THEN WHY WON'T YOU SAY YES! I DON'T UNDERSTAND" he was practically shaking now. I felt his hand touch me and before I knew it was thrown back onto the hammock. It was a hard hit and I tried to control it, but I fell right down next to him. I protected myself from the fall, it hurt and I felt a scrape or two, but I didn't break anything. I looked up at him. His eyes were tearing up.
"Paul" I heard a different voice from behind me. When I looked up I saw it was Jared. Sam must have sent him for some reason. His eyes were wide in terror at what he just saw.
"JARED NOW IS NOT THE TIME" he said in an angry tone. The shaking was getting worse.
"Man, relax you just pushed your girlfriend" his shaking subsided and his fists relaxed a bit. He looked down at me, at this point I had curled myself up into a ball. I didn't look up at him, but I heard a small sob from his chest. I started to feel the pain from the fall, a small throbbing in my ankle. I curled up further into a ball. I couldn't believe that Jared had seen what had just happened. He walked up to the two of us, I noticed his bare feet. When I looked up he barely wore clothes, just torn up shorts.
"Rachael are you hurt?" I heard Jared ask.
"I'm.. I'm… okay" I said in between sobs.
Jared was just about to kneel down and help me, when I noticed him place his hand on Paul's shoulder. He looked down at me again, I could feel his stare. A few seconds later he dropped hard to his knees. He didn't even cry from the pain, he just dropped. I felt his warm hand on my arm.
"I'm so, so sorry" I looked up to see tears falling from his eyes.
"Just get me inside please" I said in an agitated tone. A pain arose from my stomach and I began to feel sick. Paul looked almost helpless, so Jared pushed him aside and lifted me. I placed my arms around Jared's neck and buried my face into his chest. I barely knew the guy, but the warmth of his body felt safe to me.
"Where do you want to go?" he questioned.
"My room is right down the hallway" he brought me straight to my room, he put me on the bed and took my shoes off.
"I see some blood on your jeans, do you have a first aid kit or anything?" he questioned.
"In the bathroom, Paul should know where it is" I told him in a raspy voice. He hurried out of the room, I heard him talking to Paul.
"Man you really need to take a chill pill, you could have hurt her. If I didn't show up at that time, you could have done the same thing Sam did to Emily. Do you want to hurt her?" he questioned. I heard him rummaging through the bathroom. I grabbed a pair of shorts that was on my bed, and slowly undressed myself. I placed them on as quick as I could so that Jared wouldn't get a show.
"I know, I lost my head" I heard him say.
"Your going to loose more than your head if you don't quit it" he said.
"Why are you here anyway?" he asked Jared.
"Sam's calling a meeting, from what I know it looks like we may have some angry Vamps on our hands. Ones that don't like half bread baby Vamps" Jared said. Jacob, Nessie and the Cullen's were in trouble? I began to feel once again use less.
The two of them chatted while Jared patched me up. Paul was too shaken up still to do much. He stood on the far side of the room, with his arms crossed just staring at me. I knew he felt guilty, but it was almost as if he didn't want to touch me again. I looked up at him, his eyes became glassy when I did.
"Okay Rach, your all set. Your ankle is a bit swollen, use this ice pack. It should go down. Doesn't look broken or anything" I said to him.
"Oh did someone become a doctor?" Paul mocked. Jared and I both shot him a glance.
"No Paul I haven't. I know a broken ankle when I see one. If it still hurts later have your Father take you to the hospital, maybe get a brace or something. It's definitely not broken though" he said reassuring me. I smiled at him.
"Thanks for everything" I said to him.
"Your Welcome, I need to head out. Paul, Sam's going to be pissed that we are late. I'll tell him you'll be by in a little bit. Patch things up with this girl, you don't want to loose this" he said to Paul. He gave one last glance at the two of us and left the room.
I watched as Paul slowly came towards the bed. He sat down and both of us didn't say anything. He went to reach over and touch me, my body decided to jump, and that scared him. He looked nervous as he pulled back. His eyes still swollen form the tears and more forming from my reaction.
"You should go find out what Sam wants, I'll be fine" I said. I was feeling numb, I had no emotion running through me and I didn't know what to think.
" I can't just.."
"Paul… just go" I said closing my eyes. I knew I would regret telling him to just go. I jumped when he went to touch me, would he ever come back to see how I was? I looked at him, unable to say anything else.
He took one last look at me and then turned away. He slowly walked out of the room, I think he was waiting for me to tell him to come back. I didn't tell him anything, I just let him walk away.
It was a long night without him, one I couldn't have slept even if I tried. A weird stomach ache kept me up all night. That, and the thought of what happened that afternoon. It was 4am, when I nearly broke my sore ankle by jumping out of bed and sprinting towards the bathroom. I hadn't eaten in a few hours, yet anything and everything that had been in my stomach, was now out of my stomach. I liked the feeling of the cold floor beneath me. The waves of Nassau, hit me until 10am.
When I finally felt better, Dad helped me to the bed and I ended up falling asleep. I didn't tell Dad about my fight with Paul, I just had told him I fell and hurt my ankle. He believed it, I didn't know how much of it he believed but some. My stomach was another story, maybe I had felt ill from what had happened, I knew I wasn't sick. I slept for hours on end that entire day. I don't even remember the sun being up. By 7pm the next night, I still had not heard from Paul, as I lay there in bed with the soup Dad had made for me, I wondered where he was, and why he wasn't coming back.
