A/N: Jesus christ, look at me. I put it off for like, ten days. Someone should smack me.

I'm gonna warn you all, it does get pretty flippin' corny, because I just ran out of ideas altogether. My first finals went horrible, christmas was okay, and life still goes on, but I swear to god, I'm not making excuses.

If there's anyone to praise for getting me off my lazy ass it's WithoutHesitation and her bat- I mean, write-more blunt instrument of persuasion. Literally, I'm scared of it, and you should be too... x.x

So here it is and all of it's horribleness, I WILL do a rewrite if I get around to it, but please enjoy anyway, thank you! ^-^

Oh oh! Yes! I forgets! Please review!!! And here's a moofin for EVERYBODY!!!!! who reviews.


Lydia can't recall if she had ever slept in the same bed as her parents as a child. Last time she ever did she was probably like, four. Now she was about sixteen, so the age difference for her was pretty sad. But, who wouldn't rather sleep in the same room as your parents when your bed is infected by a perverted dead guy? Seriously.

She opened both eyes now, scanning her surroundings slowly. She had slept between them, just like a child. But the bed was empty, the covers on each side pulled back. They must have gone already. Lydia noted silently to herself that besides the Maitland's, the house was all hers.

Wait… she took that back.

"Babes!!"

Lydia pressed her fingertips hard to her temple, debating on whether she should acknowledge his presence.

She wasn't scared of him. Had no reason to be. Sure, he smacked her to a wall. And sure, he might have even scared the piss out of her before. But he hasn't killed her yet, has he? And death was all she ever wanted, wasn't it?

Lydia knew that, even if she were scared of him, the best bet was to hide it, and ignore him. That's what they said about bullies, anyway. He is a bully… isn't he? Just a dead one, that's capable of sending you to a realm where giant worms eat you instead of whatever else worms eat. Dirt, wasn't it?

It was decided. She's going to ignore him.

"Hey, Lyds, why the quiet?"

Lydia pulled the covers away from her frame and crawled out of the bed, walking out of the room. "Oh, I see, giving me the silent treatment, right?"

She whirled around, mouth open and ready to send to him back with the simple calling of his name. But as far as readying herself to say it went, she couldn't remember his name.

Jesus! First, she loses memory of her childhood, then the memory of his name. This was sad. "What's your name again?"

"Hell if I'll tell ya, babes! But I gotta tell ya, it took me forever to find my name stored in your thoughts. I couldn't even see two inches in front of my face! Too cloudy. Hasn't anyone told you that stress is bad?"

Lydia's mouth gaped open in horror.

So he had been in her thoughts?! While she was passed out?!

"That's fine…" she said, though her face still having the same expression. Her brow finally furrowed, and she closed her eyes. "Maybe Adam or Barb still remembers your na-"

"Whoa, babes! I don't think so! You see, you owe me, still, and until' I get some kind of promise from you-one that you'll keep-I'm not goin' anywhere," he growled into her ear. Lydia whimpered, but her eyes hardened, and she just glared. "You'll get in trouble by Juno," she hissed, "For keeping me prisoner around here."

"Soon, maybe, won't stop me though. I can get out of it, and I'll be right back out here," he smiled. "Ghost with the Most, babes!"

"Great," Lydia grumbled. "I gotta sleep in here again."

Maybe she could tell the Maitland's while he's busy… that's gotta work, anyway.


"Stop!" she cried, and Beetlejuice just grinned. The door, again, was slammed on his face. "I'm trying to take a shower!"

"So? How can I be so sure that you won't tell the Maitland's in there?"

"Oh my god, you're such a jackass! Why the hell would I be telling them while I'm in the shower?!"

He didn't know how to answer that. Instead, he just sat there, and snickered. This was way better than watching her go to school. In a way, he thanked whatever God for letting there be a shooting. School is probably gonna be out for a month or two, now.

Already being back for five minutes, and he was halfway back to his giddy old self. This isn't right. He became cold, unforgiving, mean, all in the time of three years that felt like a million. No way in hell one little girl can change that in the time of two minutes. No way in hell.

He just missed her, that's all. Beetlejuice grumbled something, suddenly deep thinking about his actions. She left him. Twice. He shouldn't be happy to see her. He should be mad.

Oh but it was just so hard! His best friend!

His fiancé…

He knotted his fingers in his hair, and reentered her bedroom. Teeth grinding. Words uttered or mumbled. Mind racing for a solution.

Wow… this chick did a number on him.

Beetlejuice took a deep, unneeded breath, and decided that he'd ignore it all. Pretend these feelings he was experiencing didn't exist to him. Wipe them from his dictionaries. Whatever it took, just to get him back on task.

And… what the hell? She was in the fucking shower! His fingers itched, the sound of spraying water, just down the hall, playing like music to his ears. She was naked. Wet. And he just walked away from the door like he had no interest.

What the hell was wrong with him?

Beetlejuice slapped himself across the face, already fed up with his own niceness. So what, three years, big whoop, she didn't do this to him before.

Then again, she wasn't sixteen before…

Damn it, Beetlejuice! He growled at himself and began fisting his head. What was he to do? If he thought too much about this he was surely gonna die. Thinking was bad for him. Everyone knew that.

Even she should. But she 'doesn't remember.' What a priceless fucking excuse. She should damn well remember! But then again, three years- ah! He's doing it again! Having second thoughts. Not good. Not good!

He's gonna drive himself insane. She's gonna drive him insane. She isn't even trying! Beetlejuice growled, and spun around and froze. If this heart may still be beating, it would have died right there, as he stared at the death of him.

And there she stood, ladies and gentleman. His former best friend standing right before him in a towel. And again his fingers itched for her. To touch her, run through her hair, caress her, something.

Lydia stood there a moment, dumbfounded and holding the towel tight around herself. She looked so delicious. Oh, but she'd never know.

He grinned a toothy grin, and could almost hear the shuddering flesh as she disgusted of the appearance. Whatever. She wanted him too. He knew it.

"Um… excuse you?" Lydia asked, though slightly intimidated in her just barely naked state. "Sorry babes," he said casually, floating on top of her bed. "I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at."

Her face became a bright pink. He smiled. She was cute when she was mad. Hell, almost all girls were, but still, Lyds pulled it off quite nicely.

"You're an ass," she simply stated, and walked inside her closet, closing the door on his face when he tried to follow.

Again, he just chuckled.


Adam sat at the kitchen table, messing with a small house that had fallen out of place on his model. Barbara, on the other hand, stood at the stove, frying pan in one hand, trying to make some scrambled eggs. "Lydia get up this morning, yet?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I heard her get into the shower earlier. I'm surprised you didn't. She was yelling about something," she sighed, tipping the pan over and letting the contents fall in a yellow pile on the plate she had ready.

"Maybe it's her time of the month," Adam shrugged, and Barbara yanked her head in his direction. "Adam Maitland! She had just come out of a shooting! Lydia just might be paranoid, that's all."

"Hey guys. What's for breakfast?" Lydia said silently, rubbing one eye sleepily as she entered the kitchen. Her hair was still slightly wet, not very well brushed, and the bags under her eyes seemed even darker. "I think I'm really getting the hang of putting these bandages on now, it works much better when I'm clean."

Barbara smiled and set the plate on the table sliding it in her direction, "You want some toast with this, hon? I don't really have the attention span to make anything else…"

Lydia knew what she meant.

"Don't worry. I'm fine, really, it was just a close call, that's all. You guys shouldn't be losing sleep like this. You're ghosts, for crying out loud! And I'm still alive, nothing to worry about, right?"

Silence.

She became a little self conscious, knowing that neither of them were going to even look at her for saying that. They couldn't be mad at her, Lydia knew that. But disappointing them… making them feel uncomfortable like this… it didn't feel right. She liked making them proud, not worried.

"Right?"

But the silence drew on. And in lagging her shoulders, she sighed and picked up the fork, eating the eggs that actually weren't that bad, saying as though their creator was under such stress.

When Lydia reached her room again, her eyes were, literally, glued to the floor. She knew he was there, probably preparing a sex joke as she walked into the door, but she wouldn't look at him. Not a simple glance.

And as she guessed so, he was there, laughing, floating above her bed. "Why the long face, babes? Bab's cooking that horrible?"

But Lydia didn't listen. She shrugged off the comment and collapsed on her bed, face down, laying there as if she were dead. She only wanted to be.

"I'll take that as a yes. Hell, wonder how horrible it is all the time, if she was only so out of it today!"

This, Lydia couldn't bear. She rolled over on her back and glared up at the ghost, now floating just a few feet above her. He eyed her chest, and seeing this, she sneered. "You're such a dick!" And in doing so, she kicked a foot up and knocked him up into the ceiling. "If I could I'll call Juno on your ass," she muttered, wondering if Adam and Barbara's stories on the woman were true.

Hearing this, the nameless ghost growled, "You little bitch! You're gonna pay for that one!"

"Oh Lydia!" Delia's voice rose from downstairs, followed by the slam of the front door. "Come help your father and I bring in the groceries!"

Lydia smiled triumphantly back up at him, "Can your revenge wait just two minutes? God, you're so impatient," she said, in the most annoying voice ever possible. She snickered at his clenched fists and teeth, and made her way for the stairs.


Beetlejuice ground his teeth. The back of his head was sore. When he thudded against the ceiling he actually hit it pretty hard. That little bitch. Why the hell did she do that?! He was only messing with her!

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered under horrid breath as he paced the room in a fashion that would seem noisy. Only, no sound came from it, and his stomping grew harder and harder until' these old bones would surely break under the pressure. How was this girl getting the best of him?!

Or was she?

Was he doing this to himself?

"Gah! Stop thinking! Mother always said it was bad for you!" he yelled at himself, ripping his hair from his head, the blonde chunks falling to the floor.

The door opened just as this happened, and Beetlejuice stood there with two bald spots on his head, seeing Lydia come in the room. "Wow, five minutes alone and you're already falling apart. Don't tell me you missed me that much."

His nose wrinkled.

Such a pain in the ass, this girl was.

"Why would I miss a snot-nosed breather," he retorted, lifting from the ground and began to float in the air. Lydia poked a chunk of hair on her floor and gagged. "Put your hair back where it belongs before I have the mind to shave you bald. That's disgusting."

"Whatever, you know you wanna touch it," he said, a crooked grin taking over the scowl. Lydia didn't fall for it. Instead, she walked over to her nightstand by her bed and opened the top drawer. She pulled out a book and flopped back on her bed.

"What the hell, you're reading?!"

"You bore me."

"I'm the ghost with the most! There are great historic figures in the Neitherworld who'd gladly take your place in basking in my presence!"

"Then tell them they gladly have permission to take my place."

Beetlejuice grumbled something unintelligible. She was boring him too, and he honestly did not have the mind to juice her at the moment. Or… did he?

Lydia flipped the book open and began to drink in the words mindlessly.

Supposedly in the writing, it took place in the time where electricity had been discovered obviously hadn't taken place yet. Ew? Beetlejuice scowled, seeing the preface of the book as Lydia just held it in front of her face and kept on reading. He really needed to juice this book up.


Lydia read the pages carelessly. So supposedly the King's only daughter was half vampire. Therefore, she wasn't allowed to inherit the land of humans. The other land, on the other hand, would gladly take her with open arms. Although the vampires were supposedly evil, she really didn't want to take over the humans like they planned. Even though the book was boring, she read on. Mostly because anything was more entertaining than having useless battles with a poltergeist that she was still planning on getting rid of.


So what now? There she stood, pulling the curtains away with pale fingers, and stepping out into the pale moonlight on her balcony. She looked far out into the mountains, and thought hard. Beyond them, she knew, was the vampire's kingdom.

She sighed, looking down now at the outstretch of land, covered by stone buildings, the closer the land, the less dirt streets seen, actually becoming paved with fine brick. She wondered for a brief moment if she actually belonged far out there where the dirt roads lead, or if she wasn't welcome there either… probably not.

A screeching sound caught her attention. Wasn't that a bat? The girl wiped a few stands of red hair to the side of her face, to turn and look a tall dark man in the eye. The man she had met earlier that day. "What are you doing here?" she asked in a whispered tone. "Turn around, and bend over," he commanded.

"What?" she blinked in confusion.

"You heard me, bitch!" he said and pulled a gun from his pocket.


Lydia blinked. She didn't think guns were even invented in the time this silly novel took place. Even so, she read on. It was getting somewhat interesting…


"Please, don't!" she begged, and fell to her knees. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up to her feet. "Dumb bitch," he muttered, and smacked her back a few steps with the gun.

A unicorn busted through the door and into the girl's chambers, pointing his horn at the man. "What, your pretty donkey's gonna save your ass now?" he asked, and pointed the gun to the unicorn now. It snorted, and charged at him, shoving it's horn through the man's head and pulling out his brain through the hole he had pierced his horn through.


Lydia sat up in her bed and threw the book down. "What the fuck," she yelled, looking up at him and giving him the most pissed off look she could muster. True, it made the storing more interesting, even if it was the corniest shit he could do with it. It was just... weird...

"I tried to keep it G-rated," he shrugged. "You made a unicorn pull out some guy's brain…"

"Okay, okay, it was weird, and stupid, but don't say you didn't like it," he smiled. Lydia grumbled.

This was going to be a long month.