Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Frozen peach drinkies belong to me.

A/N: Thank you Reader, if you're still here. I fail at updating, and blame no flouncers. But if you're still here, I tacklehug you largely.


Chapter 8

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world goes out."

~Grace Pulpit

"There are forces in the universe working against me Alice, I swear."

Bella stood in the kitchen holding the phone with one hand and using the other to rub the sore spot on her knee where she'd kicked the door on her way to the phone.

"Sweetie, I love you. But c'mon, we both know that grace has never been your strong suit."

Bella could hear Alice smothering a laugh and couldn't help but grimace in agreement.

"It's worse than usual though Alice. Things have been jumping out in front of me all week. I have zero balance, and yesterday..."

Bella sighed before continuing, "Yesterday I was standing still, and I... fell. Down."

Alice's snort came through the phone like a shot, making Bella wince and hold the phone away from her ear. Even with six inches between her ear and Alice's cackling, it was loud and clear. As Bella waited for her friend to calm down enough to speak again, she closed her eyes and enjoyed a moment of being still.

It was only Thursday, but Bella was stupidly tired. She'd suffered through Sunday, feeling savagely guilty for skipping out of work on Saturday with Edward, and when Monday morning rolled around she threw herself into work. She'd baled more hay than she'd ever thought possible, working like a woman possessed and thinking of every aching muscle and drop of sweat as some sort of payment for her stolen time.

She'd spent all day Tuesday and Wednesday showing off her perfectly groomed horses to prospective buyers and haggled prices for hours. It was a required part of being a rancher, and while she could hold her own admirably on the surface, inside she was a quivery mass of terrified jelly. The stress of keeping a stern tone and dickering back and forth with other ranchers, combined with an innate need to avoid confrontations and a deep fear of failure, was enough to send her into a full-on hysterical breakdown when she was alone. It had been worse this time though; knowing that her very livelihood was balanced on the outcome had added another edge to the sharp thing inside her. It was like a ball of nails and glass and white-hot metal hooks, just rolling around in her stomach as she struggled to get a few more dollars out of each buyer.

If that alone hadn't been enough, she'd had to watch her horses leave forever, something infinitely more painful than the sharp thing in her belly. They were tied together with her parents in knots formed of childhood and a love bordering on adoration, and the part of Bella that would always remain a child felt sick with failure. Pleasing her parents had become the most important thing in Bella's mind; the fact that they were not around to be pleased only made it more imperative somehow. She'd watched the fruit of all their hard work, of their lives, driven off in big silver trailers, crushing her heart under their dusty black tires. Her face had been calm, professional; she'd saved the tears until night had come and she could finally crawl into her bed.

Now it was Thursday evening and she was physically and emotionally exhausted.

And talking to Alice isn't exactly the most relaxing act in the world.

Holding the phone back to her ear Bella heard Alice saying, "...and I've got the most amazing face mask for us to use, it's all organic and it has seaweed extract and soy proteins in it."

"Wait, are we eating this crap or putting it on our skin?"

Alice giggled again and said, "Bella! I'm so excited about tomorrow night! I've got everything all planned out and I just know you're going to love it!"

Trying not to sigh loud enough for Alice to hear, Bella's eyes closed and she brought her hand from her knee to her head, pressing her fingertips against the throbbing parts.

"Me too Alice. It's going to be... a lot of fun."

An errant thought suddenly made Bella's eyes jerk open.

Now how can I ask her without actually having to ask?

As if she was listening to Bella's thoughts over the phone Alice said, "Rose and Em are going to have a date night in town and they always stay in a hotel there over night. Jasper and Edward are playing poker in town tomorrow night at The Horseshoe, so we'll have the house to ourselves!"

"Wait, what about Carlisle and Esme?"

"Didn't I tell you? They're doing some charity fundraiser thing in Missoula so they won't be back until Monday. Just think Bella... No Emmett to steal our munchies, no Edward to ridicule our taste in music, no Rose to drink our wine... It's going to be amazing!"

Bella couldn't help laughing at Alice's enthusiasm. No matter what mood she was in, she was passionate about it, and as a result all of her statements were exclamations. Bella let Alice's voice fade into the background and let her mind drift to the place it had been straying all day, despite her best efforts.

Edward Cullen. Something inside her expanded and contracted each time she thought about him, like a fist around her lungs that tensed and relaxed of it's own accord. Bella didn't feel quite ready to see him again, and felt pretty certain that he was in no hurry to see her again either.

Not that I'm scared or intimidated. I just don't want to punch him again.

Bella knew that was the truth, so she didn't feel bad for thinking that instead of about the butterflies swarming around inside her when she remembered how his hands had been warm and rough against her skin when...

Stop that.

Prissy Voice sounded tired of nagging, and Bella wholeheartedly agreed. She was tired of replaying it in her mind, but she couldn't seem to stop. The memory of that kiss was behind every thought, every movement, every blink since Saturday. It hid silently beneath every word and face, jumping out to take her breath away and weaken her knees.

Maybe the weak knees has something to do with the standing still and falling down thing.

Which was pretty pathetic in Bella's opinion.

But it's true and you know it.

Bella felt the urge to snarl at the voice that whispered in her head but caught herself just in time. As Alice rambled on about Friday night, Bella tried to think about it rationally.

Since Edward had kissed her she'd been off-balance, like something had disconnected between her and gravity, making each step she took hazardous.

Or since you punched him.

That thought cheered her up a little, so she decided to stick with it as she tuned Alice's voice back in.

"So just come straight from the barn okay? I've got this great deep conditioner I want you to use so you can just shower here and wear something of mine."

Bella just agreed and hung the phone gently on the receiver after telling Alice goodbye.

Glancing around her parent's kitchen, (still and always theirs, never hers), Bella again felt the weight of her exhaustion. Her head ached, her knee ached, her heart ached.

Well boo hoo Bella Swan.

The evenings last dusky rays of sun came through the window above the sink and gave the kitchen a warm, hazy glow. She thought about how it would have been if her parents were alive.

Charlie would be sitting at the table with his newspaper and his beer. Renee would be flitting around the kitchen helping me make dinner. Renee helping usually meant she was singing, dancing and talking all at the same time as Bella made the food. Charlie wouldn't whine; neither would Renee for that matter so just get on with it already.

Taking one last look at Charlie's empty chair, Bella tried to draw strength from her memories instead of just sad nostalgia.

I miss you Dad, so damned much. I need your silence and your steadiness so badly right now.

And she would never have it again; never know that she was making him proud, never see the smile he had for the newborn foals, never hold his calloused hand for Easter grace...

Stop it Bella, let's not take a trip down Memory Lane. It always leads to Sobbing Agony Street, and that's one place you've been spending way too much time lately.

Straightening her back and shaking off her sorrow, Bella walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom. She looked at the clock, and couldn't remember the last time she'd gone to bed so early, but something told her it wouldn't hurt to try. If she was spending an entire night with Alice Cullen, she was going to need all the rest she could get.

Through the open window she could hear someone playing the Cullen's piano. The notes hovered between melancholy yearning and piercing hope, floating across the evening air like a sigh. Bella lay with her eyes closed and let the sound cover her like a blanket, one last thought following her down into sleep.

I'll have to thank Esme for playing...

Friday was...

...what exactly?

Bella thought about it as she closed the door to her office in the barn.

Not strange really, and definitely not bad. Which is why it's so strange.

It had been a wonderful day, something Bella hadn't really had since her parent's deaths.

Weird, that's the word I'm looking for. Today has been weird.

She'd woken up feeling fully rested and refreshed for the first time in forever. When Harry came into the barn, she'd been belting out Garth Brooks with the radio at the top of her lungs. Harry had smiled at her and she'd smiled back then kept singing along with Garth as he claimed he wasn't going down until the sun came up. She hadn't fallen, tripped, knocked, or scraped anything all day, nothing had suddenly broken or gone wrong. The one part of her day guaranteed to bring her down, doing the books with more red pen than black, had gone surprisingly well. Not great, as she'd barely touched her black pen, but she'd barely touched the red one either and that was saying something.

Waving at Harry as she walked across the pasture towards the Cullen's, Bella could feel herself grinning like an idiot.

God, I feel great! Tonight is going to be fun. I don't know why I always psyche myself out of spending time with Alice. Even if she does want to put half the contents of the fridge on my body and hair; she does it because she loves me, and I can handle it because today is a perfect day.

By the time Bella reached the giant cottonwood tree halfway to Alice's house she was running and her mind flashed back to a thousand childhood memories of rushing over to see Alice after school. They were happy, carefree memories and Bella felt her smile stretching wider as she raced up the steps and across the porch.

Pausing for a moment at the front door, Bella raced through it and slammed it behind her, the sound effectively cutting off the half-expressed name she didn't want to think of.

"Alice!"

Bella skipped stairs on her way up to Alice's room, and heard a loud thump coming from behind Alice's door. Pushing it open, Bella glanced around for her friend.

"Alice? Ali... what the hell is that thing?"

Alice's room looked it a hurricane had recently spent a week being a horrible house guest. There were clothes in a myriad of colors strewn over every available surface, pulling a strange image of a Jackson Pollack canvas to Bella's mind before her eyes landed on the thing taking up the center of the floor.

It seemed to have a vaguely human form, and Bella thought it kind of resembled a scarecrow put together by a science fiction obsessed teen, who may or may not have been under the influence of some sort of hallucinogen when it was assembled. There appeared to be no less than three shirts layered on top of one another, each in a shocking shade of day-glo colors, and a few more slung haphazardly around the top half of the "body". There weren't any noticeable arms, but scarves and the type of long socks she wore in the freezing Montana winters were hanging down the sides, giving it the appearance of arms made out of tacky rainbows.

Where the head would be was a white helmet with black plastic over the eyes and a strange metal piece over the mouth.

That almost looks like...

"Alice, where are you and why the hell do you have an armless cross-dressing Storm Trooper in your room?"

Something rustled in the closet on the far side of the room, and a mass of clothes stood up and faced her. When it giggled, Bella knew it was Alice, but watching her friend stumble over the piles of cloth and shoes with more clothes than Bella owned draped over her arms, shoulders, and head, Bella had a mental image that made her snort and laugh until she collapsed on the floor in front of the Star Wars drag queen.

"Ah...Ah... Alice... you look like... " Bella stopped because another storm of giggles over took her and she howled on the floor.

"Like a what?"

Alice tried to look indignant but ended up looking more ridiculous, largely due to the feather boa that kept making her nose twitch, and Bella lost it again. She hugged her stomach and rolled back and forth on the floor gasping for air between hysterical bursts of laughter.

"You... you look like... The Bride of Frankenstein, but... but... the Star Wars version... "

Bella went off in another gale of giggles and Alice looked thoughtful for a moment as she looked back and forth between herself and the Storm Trooper. She giggled along with Bella then started throwing pieces of clothing willy-nilly from herself and into the air, completely disregarding where they landed. Bella tried to sit up and calm down a little, wiping tears from her eyes as she watched Alice regain her own shape as shirts and pants and skirts and pantyhose flew from her nimble fingers. Once Alice finished throwing her own clothes around, she reached for her groom and started on him.

"Okay, seriously Alice, what the hell is going on in here?"

Alice spoke as she continued yanking scarves and socks and what appeared to be a zebra striped corset with garters hanging off it.

"Esme had this old dress form in the attic, you know the ones that automatically make you think of Paris and beautiful dresses and I just had to bring it down here, and while I was dragging this thing down the hallway I had the greatest idea! Oh my God Bella, you're going to look so fucking amazing, I just know it! Anyway, I couldn't find it and I knew it was in here, so I started throwing everything around looking for it but then I remembered Halloween a few years back, and I was pretty sure I tossed it in with the costumes because I knew there was no way in hell I would be able to pull it off unless it was Halloween..." Bella cut her off quickly.

"You couldn't find what exactly? And why I am going to look so fucking amazing, and what does Halloween have to do with any of it?"

Also, when do you breathe and how many times a day do you accidentally bite your own tongue? Because talking that fast has got to be hazardous to your health.

"Halloween, Bella, has everything to do with it. Weren't you listening? I found you the most incredible perfection, and you're going to wear it to the garden party. I almost wore it that one Halloween, but then decided to be a ninja instead, remember?"

Bella shook her head bemusedly at her friend, but then memory sparked and she nodded slowly.

"That was the year I had mono, wasn't it? I didn't go because I looked like a damn chipmunk on steroids and swallowing my own drool was painful enough to make me pass out."

Alice nodded sympathetically, but Bella could see the tell-tale wrinkle starting to form on her nose. The wrinkle was a dead giveaway that Alice was attempting not to laugh out loud.

"It wasn't funny, I had a neck like a body builder from all the swelling, and I don't ever want to feel that shitty again."

Alice continued nodding sagely, and even went so far as to reach a hand out towards Bella's shoulder before Bella smacked at it and Alice let out a tiny little noise that sounded like a squeak and a snort all in one.

"Anyways, I remembered it when I was thinking about what we would wear to the party, and I just knew it would be perfect. I mean literal perfection Bella, you're going to want to make out with me once you see it."

It was Bella's turn to snort at her friend, but she also felt a creeping warmth spreading through her.

She was thinking about me during the day and for no really consequential reason. She was just going along her day and thought about me and that's what it feels like to be loved.

"Alice, you still haven't explained to me where the Storm Trooper comes into play."

"Oh, Edward was a Storm Trooper that same year. He and Emmett were going through that Star Wars stage I thought would never end." Alice's voice was muffled as she dragged clothes and shoes back into her closet, and Bella crawled off the floor and onto Alice's now visible bed. Laying on her back she closed her eyes for a moment and let her mind wander.

Edward as a Storm Trooper...

Except he's really Han Solo, coming to rescue me from Darth Vader...

Bella's eyes flew open again, and she felt her cheeks warming.

Which is more embarrassing? Fantasizing about myself as Princess Leia, or actually thinking Edward would look pretty fucking hot as a Storm Trooper?

Alice stepped out of the closet and ran towards Bella, jumping over her to land Indian-style on the bed next to Bella.

"Okay, so first things first. You smell like horses and barn, and while you know there's no better perfume on earth, you need a shower. I want you to try this deep conditioning treatment, c'mon let me show you how to use it."

"Um, Alice? I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I have actually showered before, I think I can probably handle it myself."

Alice rolled her eyes and jumped up to loom over Bella with her arms crossed.

Well, as much as a tiny person can loom I suppose.

"Yes Bella, I'm sure you can handle washing your hair without instructions. Come on genius, let's go."

Alice jumped over Bella and landed lightly on the floor, reminding Bella of something from years ago. She stood up and followed Alice down the hall to the giant bathroom she and Edward shared.

"Hey Al, remember when you decided to be a circus performer?"

Alice laughed as she pulled out towels and various bottles in different sizes and colors.

"I was going to be the acrobatic horse riding girl who received endless applause for my obviously superior skills to all other circus riders."

Bella pulled her socks off and dragged her filthy tee shirt over her head as Alice turned the water on for her.

"What was your name going to be again?"

Alice snorted and replied, "Alice the Amazing. Kind of completely unoriginal, but I was only eight."

Bella smiled as she slid off her jeans and added them to the pile of her discarded clothes next to her Alice gasped, Bella automatically turned toward her asking,

"Alice, what is it? You look like you just watched a baby get thrown into traffic."

"Worse. Bella, when's the last time you actually took care of yourself? You look terrible!"

"Thanks Al, I know I can always count on you for support. And honesty. Lots and lots of honesty."

Turning to face the full length mirror on the wall, Bella took in her reflection and tried to be objective, to see what Alice saw.

Her bra and underwear were plain cotton and mismatched, but surely that wasn't enough to set Alice off?

Although I would be completely unsurprised if she actually wore matching silk lingerie to work in the barn all day.

What else did Alice see? Turning slightly, Bella looked at her profile as if she was seeing though a stranger's eyes.

She was thinner than she remembered being, her hip bones poking out on either side and her collar bones showing from shoulder to shoulder. Her skin was milky-pale where the sun didn't touch it, and only a few shades darker where it did.

I have Renee to thank for the complete inability to tan I guess.

"Alice, I may have lost a little weight but I don't think that really warrants a 'terrible'."

"Oh Bella, it's not just that. You've always been thin, and while I think you could stand to put on a few pounds... No, that's not what I meant. Look at your skin, you've obviously not been exfoliating, at all. Which is a crime with skin like yours. Bella, you used to glow like a candle was burning underneath your skin. You are in serious need of my consummate girl skills. Thank God you didn't bail on tonight..."

Alice trailed off as she met Bella's eyes in the mirror.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"No Alice, it's okay. I've been... a terrible friend since... lately. I'm really sorry I haven't been there for you, and... I'm going to try, really hard, to be the kind of friend you deserve."

Turning to face Alice, Bella felt a sudden tightness in her throat and bit her tongue hard. It brought tears to her eyes, but effectively loosened the knot she couldn't breathe past.

"Bella, you deserve so much more than you believe. And you're still my best friend; that isn't a line in the sand that can be brushed aside any time one of us is going through hard stuff. Even if you never wanted to talk to me again, I'd still harass you. I love you too much to leave you alone. I didn't mean that you haven't been around, but... you haven't really been here, even when you're here."

Alice rushed on with wide eyes, "Oh God, I'm saying this all wrong. I didn't mean that you haven't been around, I just meant that you've been going through a lot lately, and you haven't had time to just relax and hang out with me. Which sounds incredibly selfish, I'm just going to shut up now."

"Alice. I don't... I haven't been... I haven't been a good friend. I've been going through things, and it's a pretty dark place in me right now, but that doesn't make it okay for me to shut you out. You're my best friend, and I haven't spent any time with you in months. I feel terrible about that, and I'm... I'm going to try harder."

This time Bella couldn't stop the tears that formed and rolled slowly down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. Thanks for waiting for me to get my shit straight."

Alice let out a little squeal and wiped her own tears away with the back of her hand before launching herself at Bella and wrapping her slight arms around Bella's waist, squeezing tightly before letting go.

"Okay, it's officially a girl's night now that we've cried on each others shoulders. Go clean up, you stink."

With a quick grin and flip of ebony hair Alice was gone, leaving Bella alone in the bathroom. As she stepped under the hot water, Bella smiled.

This is really going to be a good night.

Now, which of these twelve bottles of goop is first?

Bella wasn't sure she was still clean. She'd felt incredible after her shower, the water nearly scalding as it sluiced away more than just the dirt she'd accumulated through the day. A tension she'd no longer noticed had loosened in her body, and she didn't seem to be able to stop grinning like an idiot.

But then Alice had attacked her with more bottles and sprays and lotions and potions than Bella could keep track of. She'd been scrubbed, sanded, polished, oiled, and dried from head to toe. Her skin was smoother than silk, and her hair was so soft and shiny she couldn't stop running her fingers through it.

At least until Alice painted my nails and put these damn uncomfortable curlers in my hair.

Bella sighed quietly and resisted the urge to dig her fingers into the scalp beneath the curlers.

I'm pretty sure I can hear my skin screaming up there. But my nails are pretty, and whoever named the color 'I'm Not Really a Waitress' was a tiny bit genius.

Alice was currently searching through her DVD's, looking for something to watch while they ate pizza and ice cream. Bella leaned against Alice's pillows, admiring her fingers and toes, until she heard the opening music coming from the ancient television at the foot of Alice's bed.

"No way! Alice, no fucking way! Do you know how many ways I love you? I would count, but then I wouldn't be able to do anything ever again in my life, so I'm just going to hug the shit out of you when this nail polish dries!"

Alice jumped onto the bed next to Bella, her face covered in some sort of green clay and a big grin.

"You may worship at my feet later. Right now it's time to kick some vampire ass and swoon over the best brooder in the history of sexy men named David Boreanaz."

They spent the next few hours watching episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and giggling at each other over the gorgeousness of the men and the general cheesy goodness of the show they watched together in high school.

Once the pizza was gone, and half a gallon of Rocky Road with it, Alice jumped up and shut off the movie.

"It's time for phase two."

Bella's relaxed feeling diminished slightly at the devilish look in Alice's eyes when she said phase two.

Phase two? Is she going to lead me in some sort of military maneuver involving makeup brushes and hair spray?

"I see you getting freaked Bella, and don't even go all wide-eyed and try to cover it up. Ugh, do you still blush at everything? I mean seriously La, c'mon."

Bella rolled her eyes at Alice, but smiled at the old nickname she used.

La. She hasn't called me that in years. Not since...

Bella scrambled up in the bed, automatically crouching low with her hands out in a defensive position.

"Wait, Alice, you're not going to...

Alice's smile was as pure as driven snow; her eyes were as mischievous as a freshly fallen angel who can't wait to party in Hell.

"Alice, I thought you loved me!"

Bella heard the whine in her voice, but didn't do anything to stop it. If anything, she added more petulance to it when she said, "You swore to me we'd never have to do this again Alice!"

Alice continued pulling boxes out of her closet, her narrow hips already bouncing from side to side as she opened the smallest box.

"I'm sorry, Alice isn't here right now." She talked in a monotone, sounding like the generic answering machines messages people used instead of their own voices.

"If you'd like to leave a message, she'll get back to you tomorrow. If you need immediate help, please press one for... Lisey Spaaaaaaaarkles!"

Turning to face Bella with a microphone in one hand and a karaoke disc in the other, Alice was greeted by a look of abject terror and a tiny shriek from Bella.

"Alice, seriously, I told you I was never singing karaoke again. Ever. As in, for-ev-er. Fooorrreeeevvverrrrr."

"Your feeble attempts at distracting me with Sandlot humor are to no avail. Lisey Sparkles and Lala Rina are the motherfucking house tonight."

Oh fuckity fuck, Lisey Sparkles and Lala Rina? There is no way in...

"Alice there's no way in hell. Not gonna happen. No."

"Oh yes my little Lala, oh yes. Because I have the magic juice, and zero qualms about pouring it down your throat with a tube and a funnel if need be. Now go get the pitcher out of the freezer, they should be perfect by now."

Bella fought a fierce internal war with herself before flying off the bed and racing down the stairs to the kitchen. Yanking open the freezer door, she saw the pitcher of peach colored slush and her mouth began salivating.

I am Bella's traitorous mouth.

Two hours and an entire pitcher of drinks later, Alice and Bella were wearing the tank tops and cotton shorts they'd put on for bed, their wigs, and ridiculously high stilettos taken from Alice's never-ending closet. They were jumping on Alice's bed and singing along with the 80's greatest hits CD Alice had switched to.

"Liiiiiiiisey, this is my favorite song ever! Let's sing this one!"

Bella's heel caught in the comforter and she slid bonelessly down onto the bed, giggling hysterically and knocking the red wig slightly sideways on her head. When Alice bent over to help her up, Bella tugged her down and laughed harder as Alice face planted into a giant pile of pillows.

I am definitely drunk, but I fucking love this tiny little hurricane more than life. More than peach frozen drinkies even!

"I'm thrilled to hear that Lala Rina, and I love you more than all the shit in my closet, but right now, I'm going to own you with these fucking pillows. I was in the middle of my Whitesnake solo!"

Bella grinned fuzzily up at her friend, finding it hilarious that Alice could hear the voices in her head too.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Before Bella could answer herself, a large pillow slammed across her chest, knocking her back onto the mattress. Grabbing blindly for the nearest pillow, she was screaming with laughter as she caught Alice in the shoulder and sent her tumbling down onto the floor.

Standing slowly, Alice tried to straighten her wig as she wobbled on her high heels.

"This is war. Now, you must die."

She was moving her lips quickly without making any sound, then saying the words after, like the badly dubbed Japanese monster films they'd loved as kids, and Bella couldn't laugh anymore because she was gasping just to get air into her lungs.

Alice lunged and got a good hit to Bella's arm, but Bella used the momentum to stand all the way up and throw every pillow she could reach down onto Alice's indignant figure.

I'm more graceful drunk than sober, awesome. Fuck it, who cares? This is fun!

Bella ran out of pillows and stepped back on the bed as Alice leaped onto it with a pillow in each hand and immediately began her return volley. Bella managed to get a handful of pillowcase in her hand and tugged it away from Alice, meaning to deliver the final blow.

"Big whammy, coming 'atcha!"

Bracing her legs as best she could, Bella held the pillow behind her and turned her entire upper body into her swing. The pillow slammed into the side of Alice's head and she fell back onto the bed, yelling and giggling and flailing her arms around in the air above her head. Bella couldn't feel her hands anymore, so she gave up and collapsed in a pile over Alice, their arms and legs tangling and both of them struggling to breath through their laughter.

"Well, this is... I'm not exactly sure what this is, actually. Jasper, care to hazard a guess?"

Edward's voice poured over Bella like molten lava, and she closed her eyes for a moment to fully enjoy the feeling before she realized what it meant.

Sitting up too quickly her vision blurred and spun before righting itself enough for Bella to see Edward standing at the doorway to Alice's room, his arms crossed as he leaned against the door frame.

Dear God he looks like walking talking sex. Hot, sweaty sex, the kind with lots of noises and touching and kissing and licking...

Dammit Bella, you're completely drunk. Get it together and put the hormones away.

If he licks his lips again I may jump him right here in front of his sister and Jasper.

Realizing Edward had asked Jasper a question, she looked past the doorway to see him standing in the hall, leaning against the banister and grinning lazily at her and Alice.

"I don't think I'm going to answer that one man."

Bella felt the bed shake as Alice jumped down to the floor, somehow landing perfectly on her stiletto heels despite the fact that she'd drank at least as much as Bella. Jasper's eyes widened as he took in Alice's combination of high heels, gym shorts, tank top and sparkly wig, and his smile slipped for just a moment before coming back wider than before.

"I think that's probably a smart answer buddy, considering the creature from the Black Lagoon is staring daggers at both of us."

"What are you two doing here? You're supposed to be in town playing poker and telling lies about your dicks and where they may or may not have been!" Alice's arms crossed and despite her appearance she managed a fairly passable death stare at her older brother.

"We finished up early and... decided to head home."

Bella noticed the pause in his words and wondered what he was covering up, but then his eyes swung from Alice to her and she couldn't think about anything except how dry her mouth suddenly was.

Standing up and stepping down onto the floor, Bella felt proud that she only wobbled a little, and was smiling as she looked into Edward's eyes.

They're so... what color is that anyways? Blue? Green? I bet it's the color of the sky in heaven.

Alice's pointy elbow connected with Bella's ribs at the same time Edward snorted and looked down at the floor.

Did I say that out loud again? Dammit...

"Yes Bella, you did say that out loud. And thank you, your eyes are quite nice as well. I think the flaming red wig really brings out the warmth in them. Or would that be whatever this pitcher used to have in it?"

He said I have nice eyes... wait, what wig?

Bella reached up and pulled the now rumpled and mussed wig from her head, her hair falling down past her shoulders as she leaned forward and started laughing again.

"Oh no! Lisey dear, Lala is going to have to call it a night, I fear I have lost my magnificent mane!"

Bella threw the wig at Alice, who giggled back and then they were both laughing again, holding on to each other as they tried to stay upright and howled at everything.

Everything is funny! Everything is fuzzy too...

"Um, ladies? Would you care to tell us who Lisey and Lala are?" Jasper seemed genuinely curious, and Bella couldn't help but notice how pretty he was with his sexy-messy blonde hair and sweet smile.

"Jasper, you're so pretty." Bella smiled at him through the haze that had appeared in the room.

Alice took a breath that hitched on each giggle and answered without looking at him.

"Who are Lisey and Lala? Who are Lisey and Lala? They are faboosh! They are de-lovely, delicious, and divine!"

Bella's head perked up as she heard the lyrics to the Dee-Lite song they both loved, and when Alice started singing it, Bella stood up and grabbed the microphone to join her.

"'How do you say, de-gorgeous..."

Launching into a full-fledged song and dance routine, choreographed on the spot, neither Bella nor Alice saw Edward shake his head and turn to go back down the stairs, Jasper still grinning as he followed behind him.

Someone was stabbing Bella in the eyes. Someone with a thousand tiny swords, jabbing them repeatedly into her eyelids and all the way into her brain.

Tiny demonic fairies? Where's Buffy when you need her?

Rolling over, Bella groaned and immediately went still again. Her head was pounding, her mouth tasted like something had crawled in it and died, and the stabbing feeling was only getting worse.

Oh fuck Alice, what did you do to me last night?

Bella chanced movement again to roll away from the window, the warm sun pouring through the window onto her back.

The sun is stabbing me to death with itty bitty rays of... death. Ugh, I want to die now, before this gets any worse.

Bella kept her eyes closed tightly and tried to stay as still as possible as she ran through what she remembered from the previous night.

I sang karaoke with Alice, no, with Lisey Sparkles. I was Lala Rina again, and I drank five thousand gallons of frozen peach death, and... no, please God no.

Did I see Edward last night? Did I sing in front of Edward last night? In a wig and high heels and oh fuckity fuck.

The only thing that kept Bella from moaning out loud was the certainty that if she opened her mouth the slightest bit, a moan wouldn't be the only thing that came out.

"Bella? Are you up yet?"

Alice's voice had none of it's usual vibrancy, and as she stumbled into the room wearing a faded flannel robe that looked three sizes too big, Bella felt a moment of pure glee.

Serves you right Alice.

"Yeah, if you want to call dying a slow and torturous death 'up'."

"The boys made us breakfast, do you want to come down and have some?"

Bella could smell the first hints of bacon and syrup drifting up the stairs, and her stomach immediately clenched.

Is that because it smells amazing and I'm starving or because I'm going to lose whatever is in there right now?

"Um, what about just some juice?"

"I'm sure there's some fresh-squeezed orange juice down there, Edward always has some in the fridge."

The mention of Edward made Bella's stomach clench again, this time leaving no doubt about the reason.

"Alice, I don't think I'm up to facing them yet. I seem to remember acting incredibly obnoxious last night, and I'm pretty sure I was singing in the most embarrassing get-up I've ever worn."

Alice started to giggle, then winced and sipped her coffee.

"Yeah, we were pretty drunk last night. But you have to admit, you had a great time and you can't wait to do it again."

She sounded easy and carefree, but there was a hint of worry underneath that made Bella feel just a little guilty.

She did all of that for the sake of Bella Swan. Because she's your best friend and she loves you. Show some appreciation for that at least.

"You're right. I honestly can't remember ever laughing so hard, unless you count that time
Emmett shot milk out of his nose in the cafeteria. And I'm positive that once this horrendous hangover wears off, I'll feel amazing. Seriously, Al... thank you."

Standing slowly, Bella waited until the room was spinning slowly enough that she could walk in a semi-straight line and headed to the bathroom to splash some water on her face.

When she saw her reflection she felt mortification sink in deep, deeper than she would have thought possible while dealing with such an immense hangover.

She'd worn Alice's clothes, and they were a size smaller than her own. Just small enough to ride a little too high on her thighs and show a stripe of skin between the waistband of the shorts and the hem of the tank top. The makeup she'd forgotten Alice applying had smeared over her eyes leaving dark smudges that were almost sexy.

Yeah, if you like that whole, I-just-got-mugged-in-an-alley type of look. Or you're a raccoon. At least my hair is still soft and shiny.

Bella ran her fingers through it twice, enjoying the decadent way it slid through her palms, then attacked eyes with cold water and a wash cloth. When she'd gotten as much off as she could with just water, she dried her face and gave herself a quick once over.

I still think I look like a raccoon, but it's the best I can do. Now, what do I do about clothes, because there is no way in hell I'm facing Edward dressed up like a little kid's doll.

While she rummaged through Alice's closet, Bella tried to piece together the conversation she'd had with Edward.

Did we even have a conversation? I don't really remember much aside from him saying they'd come home early and... wait, did he say I had nice eyes?

He had said that, Bella could clearly remember him saying that she had nice eyes, and that the red wig really brought out the warmth.

Oh god, he saw me in that stupid wig singing and dancing and drunk. Why did he even say anything about my eyes? Oh yeah, because my brain to mouth filter apparently went on the fritz after drink number two thousand and seven and I said... oh fuck.

I said his eyes were the color of the sky in heaven. Somebody please kill me so I can go see for myself instead of walking down stairs.

Bella pulled on one of Alice's old tee-shirts and a pair of baggy jeans that hung a little low on her hips.

Better than the skin-tight approach from last night.

Walking down the stairs slowly, Bella held on to the handrail with one white knuckled hand and pressed the other against her throbbing temples.

I wonder if drunktalk counts towards that whole first talk after I punched you in the face awkwardness. Not that the drunktalk was any less awkward...

The smells coming from the kitchen were slowly convincing Bella she was hungry, and she stood outside the door for a moment preparing to face the music.

I think I faced the music last night actually. Today will be called facing the guy you kissed, punched, then drunktalked and sang to. Even better.

Just as she put her hand against the swinging door, it was pulled open from the other side and Jasper was standing there smiling expectantly at her. He'd obviously not been up long, and his hair was still sticking up all over the place, but he looked sweetly sexy and Bella had a brief flash of memory.

"You know Jasper, you really are rather pretty."

Jasper's smile grew a little and the twinkle in his blue eyes was enough to make Bella smile in return as she shook her head at herself and the nights shenanigans.

"Why thank you Bella, you were rather a vision yourself."

Bella's eyebrows quirked up as she wondered if he was serious or teasing her about the previous was impossible to tell from his expression, but it was just as impossible not to react to his smile. He just felt easy to be around, comfortable somehow, like they'd known each other for years instead of just a few weeks.

Now how is it that I'm a bajillion times more comfortable around Jasper than Edward, who grew up with me?

As if he'd heard her thought, Edward turned from the flat-top stove with a skillet in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. He was wearing a plain white tee shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants, and Bella immediately regretted coming down for breakfast.

He looks like a model in a magazine ad for some sort of breakfast food. An incredibly sexy breakfast food, that makes the pulse race and warms the entire body from the inside out...

Shut up Bella, and drink some damn coffee before you say or do something embarrassing from lack of sleep and general hungover-ness.

Attempting to smile quickly and move past him to the fridge, Bella was stopped when he sidestepped in front of her, placing the cup of coffee he held into her outstretched hand.

Bella's fingers closed around it and she mumbled a quiet thank you under her breath before turning to sit with Alice at the huge table.

"You're welcome Isabella. Or is it Lala Rina today?"

Bella resisted the urge to turn around and run out of the house, instead settling down next to Alice on the wide bench.

"It's Bella, Edward, you know she's hated being called Isabella like, forever. Also, it is way to early to antagonize, so shut up and bring me some pancakes."

Breakfast was quiet, and would have been tense if Bella hadn't been so focused on not looking up or chewing too loudly.

I'm never drinking again. Even my own breathing sounds like someone hammering the inside of my skull.

Suddenly a glass appeared in front of Bella's vision, filled with something reddish and disgusting looking.

Risking setting off the drums in her head again, Bella looked up and saw Edward straddling the bench next to her. His knee brushed against her thigh as she shifted and his hand was entirely too close to hers on the table.

"What is that?"

"It's the best cure for a hangover that's ever been invented. Jasper and I came up with it in college and it hasn't failed either of us since."

Bella looked across the table at Jasper for confirmation and when he nodded solemnly she picked the glass up.

"That's great and all, but what is it? It looks... gross."

And I sound like a teenager. 'Gross', really Bella?

She could hear the mirth in Edward's voice as he answered her.

"I'll tell you after you drink it."

"I don't know, right now probably isn't the best time for my stomach to be trying anything new, much less... goopy."

Goopy? Kill me now, if there is any good in this universe, strike me down before I open my fucking mouth again.

"Trust me Bella."

Edward's voice was directly in her ear, close enough that she could feel his breath against her neck, and she couldn't stop the quick tremor that ran through her. Instead of risking a response, Bella just nodded and picked up the glass, downing the contents before she could think about it.

A few seconds later she was spluttering and coughing, her eyes watering and her throat on fire.

"What the... Cullen! What is that shit? Ugh, it tastes like hot sauce with lemon juice and bitters and something slimy! God, I really think I might throw up now."

Edward laughed and stood up, moving to refill his coffee.

"You'll be fine Isabella, just sit down and relax for a minute."

"Oh, thanks tons Edward. You tell me to trust you and then you have me drink some freaky slimy fire drink? Really, two gold stars for you this morning."

"Oh I don't know Bella, I figure it couldn't be worse than say, a punch in the jaw?"

Bella hoped Alice and Jasper would think she was red from whatever had been in the glass and not from embarrassment. She'd told Alice about kissing and hitting Edward last night, and Alice had remained strangely silent on the subject, saying only that he deserved it and it was too bad she'd stopped after one.

"Alice, I've got to get into town, I told Billy I would pick some stuff up for him since he gave me the day off."

Alice pouted into her mug for a minute, then shrugged and said, "I'm going back to bed. I think I may still be drunk, but the room won't stay still long enough for me to find out."

Bella hugged her friend, and whispered into her ear, "Thank you Lisey Sparkles, I had a great time. Love you."

Alice smiled up at her like she'd just won the lottery and Bella figured the hangover and humiliation was worth it.

"Love you too Lala Rina. Come back by later if you want, I have a feeling we'll all be pretty lazy today."

Bella nodded and said goodbye to Jasper, waved in Edward's general direction, and stepped out into the bright morning sun.

She was two steps down the porch when she heard the screen door creaking, and stopped to see what Alice wanted.

It wasn't Alice, it was Edward, and if he'd looked hot as the domestic god in front of the stove, in the morning light he was scorching.

"What?"

"Do you think I could catch a ride into town with you when you go?"

What?

"Um, yeah, okay I guess."

Half of Edward's mouth quirked up in a grin and he nodded at her.

"That's a good look for you."

"What, Alice's old clothes?"

"Not Alice's. Mine."

Turning around, Edward went back into the house, leaving Bella gaping at his back as he disappeared into the house.

Not Alice's. His.

Bella walked to her house feeling slightly stunned, unable to encompass everything going on inside her.

Not only did I make a complete fool out of myself last night, I managed to do it again today. And now I have to spend time alone with him in the truck when we go to town. Wonder what kind of hole I can dig for myself in all that time?

Sighing at her inability to be a normal human being, Bella tried to think about nothing at all as she walked up her own stairs. Despite her best efforts, a though crept in and burrowed deep down, swirling around and around her head.

Edward thinks I have pretty eyes, and that his clothes look good on me.

She realized she was smelling the fabric on her shoulder, searching for some hint of him, and shook her head, irritated at herself.

It's going to be a really long day.


A/N part deux:

Thanks to my betas bookjunkie1975 and rameau. They take this chunk of coal and polish it into... well, if not quite a diamond, something shiny and semi-precious, to me at least. :)

Three cheers for awesome girlfriends. I live for girls night, no lie. This chapter was major fun to write.

Before this chapter was touched by beta magic, there were another two pages focused on what exactly Bella and Alice did during their night of shenanigans. It's a fun read, and a little glimpse further into their bond and past. And the frozen peach drinkies, which are real and my own secret and I lurve them. So if that sounds like something you'd be interested in reading, let me know in a review and I'll post it here as an outtake.

Music from this chapter:

Yiruma-River Runs Through You (Bella's sleepytime music through the window)

Garth Brooks-Ain't Going Down Til The Sun Comes Up (Bella's morning singalong with Harry)

Deee-Lite-What Is Love? (Lala's 'How do you say de-gorgeous' song)