A/N: I took forever and I thought about leaving this as the last chapter to conclude this fanfic that was originally a OS but the number 9 makes me cringe…. So i'll post the final chapter soon. Thanks for all the nice words about this fic, provided that only two or three people actually read what I write… Anyway, I do hope you enjoy…

Xoxo, Janice.

|xXx|

"Love and loss," he said, "are like a ship and the sea. They rise together. The more we love, the more we have to lose. But the only way to avoid loss is to avoid love. And what a sad world that would be."

― V.E. Schwab, A Conjuring of Light

|xXx|

As she stared at her dress on the bed, Regina felt a new set of nerves settle in her stomach like heavy stones. She has never been the one to easily coward or be frightened by anything or no one. Regina has always been the strongest person she could ever be but the truth is after the day she had, after meeting Marian in such a way, it has made the brunette a little too skittish for her own good. Still, she tried to power through, to not let it show so Robin doesn't worry about her but as the seconds ticked by, and the hour drew near to Robin's reunion it was hard to hide the nervous energy she has been gathering like two socks rubbing against a carpet causing static electricity.

Her neurons were working overtime rubbing against each other as tidal waves of thoughts crossed her mind. Especially when she was staring at her dress like a hawk, a dress that was now openly mocking her.

Really she is working herself up silly, and if she continued down this path, she would be the sole culprit of ruining their night and he honestly couldn't do that to Robin who had been excited about this reunion.

"You are an extremely loud thinker." Robin's voice filtered into the room from where he stood at the frame of the bathroom door. Regina jumped a little, turning to him with a half-grin, a forced one at that. The man walked over to her, hands finding purchase on her hips as she willingly rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm not sure about the dress." She simply stated, heaving a sigh. Since when does she feels so insecure in the way she dressed? Oh right, since she saw the beauty that was Robin's ex-fiance. The woman was probably very popular back in high school, contrary to Regina. The brunette was a geeky, glasses wearing dork that didn't have many friends and you could always find her in a corner reading a book. Whilst Marian looked like the type of girl that was head cheerleader, straight A student and also president of the drama club.

Marian might not be going to the school reunion but everyone knew their story even if it ended badly. Memories will always remain, just like passion had if Robin had assured her that his feelings for the other woman didn't exist anymore, there was still a part of her scared to the point of psyching herself out of her mind.

Robin placed a kiss on her temple, "Nonsense." He muttered, sitting on the bed pulling Regina with him to sit on his lap. "You have the ability of looking absolutely stunning in anything you wear." The man sucked on his lower lip before adding, "And even naked you look breathtaking." Regina laughed, swatting his chest gently, cheeks feeling red hot with embarrassment.

"So are you suggesting I go naked?" A brow rose, lips curving into a smirk. When Robin only answered smirking himself, Regina rolled her eyes. "I swear you are insatiable."

"What can I say, I've grown addicted to your mind and body."

Regina cannot help the rush of heat that covered her cheeks (again) at his declaration. It was amazing how a few words from him could make her forget that she was worried about something. Robin had something that always managed to put her at ease. An energy so pure that almost could purify her thoughts, almost. Because the moment she started thinking about the worries that were in her mind just a few moment ago made her head circle back to the initial problem, her dress (Really the dress wasn't the problem, the main actor of this play was her insecurities). Mills sighed, again and Robin frowned.

"What is this about?" He asked and Regina held in a breath.

She could always lie and say it was nothing and Robin wouldn't be the wiser.

No, that would be wishful thinking.

Robin was a very perceptive person and he will look right through her in a heartbeat. It was his thing, really. This man that was trying to calm her nerves by running circles over her exposed skin, had the ability to read her like a book. Sometimes she actually believed that Robin had actually found a 'Regina Mills instructions manual'. Then again, no one else ever bothered to get to know her like he did.

So lying? As tempting offer that it is, she had to fully declined.

Regina made eye contact with Robin, and his eyes sent a chill that ran bone deep. His blue eyes were always attentive and full of concern for her, it never failed but now there was something more there. Curiosity? Was he intrigued? Yes, he was all those things but there was something more there she couldn't quite place and it made her hyper sensitive. Her eyes closed for a moment, trying to clear the image away as the words attempted to gather on the tip of her tongue. She felt pathetic, almost childlike and Regina hates the fact that she allowed herself to be so vulnerable around Robin like that. No matter how high, or how strong material she used to build up her walls, it took just one look to tear them apart. Robin set them on fire and they came falling down like ashes in the rain.

"I just..." Come on Regina, out with it.

It was Robin after all, and whatever she said, he wasn't going to run for the hills or think that she is pathetic. Regina had truly come to believe that come heaven or hell, Robin will be there holding her hand. "I'm nervous about tonight." Okay, so that wasn't exactly what she had in mind but they were valid words. Regina was nervous, immensely so but not the kind of nervous that come with meeting new people, no. It was the kind that made her mind feel like a minefield and any words would blow up causing a big catastrophe in the confines of her own self.

Robin gave her a strange look, "Somehow I feel there's more..."And bingo. What an ability to hit on the nail.

Regina rolled her eyes but she should have known better than to try and pass it off as something as simple as that when in reality it was something bigger weighing her down. It was like Robin had a secret camera in her mind, watching how the mini version of herself hits the auto-destruct button and wait for the explosion to cause massive destruction. A bit exaggerated, but that was the most accurate way of explaining it. The brunette sucked on her lip, not looking at him while shrugging, or trying to shrug it off. Like it was Robin's thing to try and ease her, it was Regina's thing to shrug it off like it was nothing when in reality it was so much more. After a beat, Regina released her lip and sighed, "What if people start thinking you went for a downgrade?"

Robin looked genuinely confused and it took all her power to not laugh. She doesn't blame him, she is confused herself. Never has Regina been this insecure. The pride she felt on her self-esteem was something anyone would envy but today? Oh, today she doesn't even recognize herself. Even if that self-esteem was just a mask she put on each and every day.

"I don't follow." And Regina genuinely hoped that she didn't have to explain herself to him. That he would get it and skipped over the part in which she speaks what lies in her heart and mind and jumps right into his reassuring words. Regina absolutely loathes being this pathetic. Her self-esteem has never been the best but even so, she had thick skin, most of the time.

Except at the moment.

She felt raw and exposed to a degree that wasn't normal for the brunette. Why is it that being in love opened the door to all sensitivity and vulnerability? Shouldn't love to make you stronger than this? Regina certainly felt stronger being at his side but at this moment all that strength has turned to nothing. Okay, so maybe not nothing, there was still so many emotions she felt to make her powerful beyond comparison but she couldn't muster them.

"Marian." She simply said like it would explain everything that her mouth didn't dare to speak. His confusion turned into a frown and she could see he was genuinely appalled by her thoughts. Robin's face was easy to read. He could go from one emotion to the next and she quickly could make it out. It was surprising that she could, with the little time they had together. But maybe that was what truly loving a person meant? To be able to feel and make out all the emotions your other half is feeling. To be able to look into each other's eyes and have a silent conversation. It was surprising how easy things were with Robin, and it honestly managed to unnerve Regina from time to time.

But she likes it. Basks in the feelings of being connected to such an outstanding men on a higher level she wouldn't be able to reach with anyone. Not that she wanted to try her luck elsewhere. Like a feather floating through the air, Regina Mills is where she is meant to be.

They have a connection that Regina never before was lucky enough to feel with anybody else. Love has never been easy, but when true, it was the greatest feeling in the world.

"Regina you are not a downgrade." He said, a callous hand finding her cheek. Regina leaned into it, to his warmth, to the safety that his hand provided. "If anything, you are an upgrade. You've made me a better man." Robin smiled up at her, genuine and beautiful and Regina felt her heart soar to the sky. "For you, I'm willing to be the best version of myself. I want to be able to deserve you."

For a moment her throat closed off, her tongue twisted. Words couldn't, wouldn't come out. What could she say to that? Robin, time after time, has proven to be the remedy that her battered soul needed, even now, when self-doubts are plaguing her mind like a swarm of wasps. Somehow he managed to silence the deafening sounds of buzzing with peace and serenity. She is staring, she should say something, right? But what? Damn it, Regina, aren't you suppose to be a writer? It should be easy.

It isn't.

This is the very first time someone actually is treating her like an equal. Like someone who deserves to be loved and cherished. Love had never been easy, accepting it had been a task but right now, it is the biggest blessing Regina has ever received. But she should say something, anything. "You know what you asked me before?" Wait. Where is she heading with this? When Robin brows knit together in confusion for a moment, and she looked down, biting her lip and pushing a hair strand behind her ear, Robin's eyes flashed recognition to what she meant.

"Yes, I remember." He simply replied, reaching for her hand to lace their fingers together. "What about it?"

Regina bristle. Nervous energy rippled in her stomach, and she has to bite her tongue for a moment trying to find some composure so her words won't come out thin. "I was thinking that you would make an excellent husband and that Marian was insane for ever letting you go. Especially like she did..." For a moment she went silent. Robin nodded, mustering a slight smile. She can still see a little bit of hurt in those crystal blue eyes but she can also see a certain amount of pride. Because he feels pride in being a good man. He feels pride in making someone smile. Robin feels pride whenever he knows someone is happy because of him. And he should, not because she thinks she is impossible to please but because the happiness she feels because of him is truly genuine. Robin leaned forward to kiss her cheek, and she smiled. The thoughts from before far off her mind right now, other things running through her head. They've done things in the most non-traditional way, why stop there? "Let's elope."

The way Robin's eyes almost popped of their socket had Regina smiling widely. Just like she wasn't expecting his marriage proposal, he wasn't expecting this. Maybe she isn't thinking about it straight but she doesn't feel like it is a bad idea. Not often does she trust her gut but at the moment she is a hundred percent sure that this is something she wants more than anything.

"Regina..." He began, shaking his head. "Are you sure? I mean, you were right before. We should wait and see how living together will work out."

Her only answer was leaning forward and kissing him on the lips. "Completely." Being whispered between the little space between their lips. When she pulled back more to look at his face, she began to explain. "I mean we decided to move in together the moment we reach LA. I know you are already looking into apartments that are close to both our workplaces and that you already informed your mom." She chuckled at that one. Robin was truly a mama's boy though she really can't blame him. Lorelai was the sweetest most gracious person she had the pleasure of meeting. If Cora were at least half Lorelai was, then she would be closer to her. Alas, it isn't that way, no matter, she had survived well enough.

Robin rolled his eyes playfully, but then his expression turned serious once more. "I don't want anything more than to call you my wife but..." Locksley trailed off for a moment as if trying to gather himself again. "...What brought this change? A few hours ago you were telling me that we should try living together first and now this. You are really confusing at times, love."

Fair enough. He was right, Regina knew it but when it came to him, logic and reason went out the window. She tried very hard to keep a level head and think about it as rationally as possible. The decisions she is making deserve careful consideration but nothing seemed to make sense when she thought about it, about them. It was like the laws of reality didn't actually applied to them. That was love as it purest, at its finest and Regina no longer wants to miss good opportunities just because she allowing reason to govern over her life. Some risks are worth taking. "I know and I'm sorry. But hey, you stuck around, that's good." She joked, laughing nervously. "I don't see myself anywhere else. I have a career that I love, a career that will grow. I want to share all those triumphs with you. It sounds cliche but I don't care. I want you to be there, always." The moment those words left her mouth there was no doubts in her mind any longer. She really wanted this, wanted him forever. It was ridiculous the amount of love she felt for this man that decided to share with her his English treat a few months ago and now they are here, holding one another with love in their eyes and warmth in their bellies. Regina is grateful that she decided to go about her day differently that Sunday morning. She met the love of her life. "So what do you say?"

Robin was searching in her eyes any doubts, trying to search for any lies in her but he found none. "Lend me your hand and we will conquer all. Lend me your heart and we will forever be one."

All she was waiting was for a yes, not those words that made her heart grow bigger. "A simple yes would have sufficed." She muttered with a bright smile.

"Couldn't allow you to steal my thunder." Okay, she guessed he is right. He did ask her first and she subtly said no and well out of the blue she asked. So yeah, maybe she stole his thunder a little bit. Regina nodded, with a slight chuckle. "How about tonight? I think I can manage to get everything ready."

"Wait..." She placed both of her hands on his chest, "What about your high school reunion?"

Locksley shrugged. "I think me being able to call you my wife is more important. We can go on the next ten years reunion." Robin kissed her shoulder. "So, yes or..." He trailed off, eyes looking up at her expectantly.

Regina bobbed her head once and Robin's smile turned bigger. "Perfect. Let me get things done."

Putting her hands on his cheeks, Regina rested their forehead together and grinned. "We should tell your family first. I mean it is only fair."

Oh yeah.

"Agreed. I don't think mum would take it kindly that we married in secret." He bites his lower lip, "Besides we will probably need witnesses."

The brunette smiled. "Most likely."

"Get dressed. We are telling them now."

|xXx|

With wide eyes, the entire Locksley clan was looking at the pair. It came as a shock to Robin's family that they wanted to marry as soon as possible, well, almost everyone. Lorelai was looking at them with a knowing look and a smirk on her lips that made Regina's cheek flared with warmth. After the ordeal that day, and how she unloaded on her, Regina was sure that Lorelai Locksley was actually waiting for this. Still, she didn't avoid her gaze, none of them actually. They needed to prove that this decision was something they truly wanted. After all, it was more than obvious that they would absolutely love to spend the rest of their lives together.

"Isn't it like a little too soon for marriage?" Killian asked. According to Robin, the man had issues with love and marriage, it was no surprise he was the first one to voice his 'concerns' about their decision. "I mean c'mon love, you haven't had a chance to fall in love with me yet." Lorelai hit his arm hard enough to make a sound and make the man wince and groan almost petulantly.

Regina covered her mouth fighting back the laugh that wanted to erupt from deep within her chest. As serious as she wanted to be, the man wasn't making it very easy for her.

"I don't see why you can't get married. It isn't like you are asking for our permission anyway." Killian spoke again and something inside of her loosen up. Regina began to visually relax as the whisper turned into congratulation sounds and laughs. Everyone stood up to hug the pair and even threw some comments that Regina quite didn't understand but made Robin laughed so they probably weren't that bad.

It was strange.

A very long time ago, right after Daniel, Regina had decided that never will she ever get married. That bond would only serve to chain her down, but as she stared at Robin hugging his father with a massive smile on his lips, Regina realized that all this time she was waiting for the right person to change her mind. The words she had shared with him earlier were true, Regina Mills doesn't see herself anywhere else but right beside Robin.

"Regina?" A voice drew her out of her train of thought. The brunette gaze shifted from Robin to Lorelai that was standing right in front of her with an arched brow.

"Yes, sorry." She apologized with a soft chuckled. Regina must have looked like a crazy person staring into nothing when really she was admiring her future husband.

Husband.

It is still so surreal the out of the blue decision she had taken (though really it wasn't that out of the blue. Robin question had played an important role in everything).

"It's fine, sweetheart," Lorelai replied grasping at Regina's hand. "I just wanted to congratulate you. I'm so happy for the both of you. I've never seen Robin like this." Regina's gaze moved back to Robin who was talking to Killian, her own lips curled upward into a smile as she looked at the woman before her again.

"I can't really believe it myself. I never thought of getting married and well here we are." Oh, she should call her father and let him know the news. Maybe Cora too but that particular phone call will be happening after she and Robin are finally legally married. Cora Mills had a way of talking Regina out of anything and she is not about to make that mistake. She'll deal with her heartless mother later on. Right now all that mattered was this moment with his family. "Everything happens for a reason, now more than ever I believe that," Regina said.

Lorelai had hummed in agreement to that statement, squeezing Regina's hand tight. "There is only one more detail we need to solve before the two of you elope."

The brunette eyed the older woman with a confused expression fixed on her face. Robin did say he would take care of everything regarding the ceremony so she really didn't know what could Lorelai be referring to. It would seem like her confusion was apparent because the other woman freed a short chuckled, pulling her into a hug. "A dress."

|xXx|

Her reflection made energy run around her stomach wildly. It was strange to see herself dressed in a white, simple wedding dress and the more she stared at it the more nervous she felt. Never did she envisioned herself to be dressed for such occasion, especially not in this particular dress.

It was wonderful, alluring, simple yet with an elegance that almost made her feel like the queen her name carries as meaning.

It was the very same dress Lorelai had used for her own wedding. Robin had shown her photos one night, had retold the story surrounding the pair. How they fell in love and the many trials they had to face in order for their love to come on top. It was a nice story, one worthy of being written down and she considered this but not for a show but a book. After all, she had been considering writing one to branch out, to discover more of herself but with how hectic her life is she hasn't had the time to sit down and outline what exactly she wants but now with this clear view, and seeing the dress on her, Regina knows what she wants, needs to do.

She just needed to ask for permission.

"That dress looks better on you than it ever did on me," Lorelai commented as she walked into the room. Regina's cheeks turned a bit vermilion. She turned to the older woman, shaking her head a little as the embarrassment quickly traveled from her cheeks down her neck.

"Nonsense." She replied back, grabbing the fabric of the dress to better assess the quality. "I've seen the pictures and you looked amazing in it." Letting go the fabric, Regina's eyes flickered up to the woman before her. "Are you sure that's okay? I mean this dress is amazing and I wouldn't want it to get ruined -"

Lorelai stopped Regina from talking by taking her hand. "I am absolutely sure. It suits you. Besides you need something borrowed."

Those words caused the brunette to smile as she nodded, again turning to the mirror. To be in such a simple yet elegant strapless dress made her feel like a fairy tale princess. When she was a little girl, Regina liked to play pretend. She would get swept of her feet by a handsome prince on a white horse and run off into the sunset with him, living happily ever after. Those days were quickly soured by her mother who all she ever wanted was for Regina to become a lawyer and marry into a rich family. Love lost it meaning completely thanks to Cora and it wasn't until she met Robin that she rediscovered the definition of that four letter word. Life itself regain all the bright colors she lost at a very young age. Regina once before thought to have it all, with Daniel that is. But that was all a false sense of security, a ploy from her mother to better control her daughter. So she broke all those ties and headed off to be her own person, someone she could be proud off when looking into the mirror like she feels at the very moment. After all this time she can finally say her mother didn't break her, not completely anyway.

"I'm glad you are here." Regina finally spoke as she turned once more, breaking the silence that had engulfed them. Lorelai's hand hovered over Regina's cheek, softly landing on top of it. The woman before her had become someone special in her life. She was all Regina ever wished Cora would be and so much more. Robin was blessed of having parents that absolutely adored him and most importantly, support him.

"Where else would I be? A mother's place is right beside their child on all the special moments. Good ones, bad ones, all of them. This is certainly one of the good ones." Lorelai said wearing a bright smile.

Those words left a bittersweet taste sensation that wouldn't relent.

What wouldn't she give to know that Cora felt like that. But Regina knows better. That is why she hasn't called back home to deliver the news, to any of her family members, including her father. Don't get her wrong, Henry Mills would be so happy to know his daughter happy but for one finding the man in the middle of his retreat is like finding a needle in a haystack and two even if she could tell him, Regina would decide against it. Cora Mills is well known for sniffing out when something good is happening to her daughter and goes to great lengths to ruining it. So she would make her father tell her what exactly is going on.

No one in her family knew that she was about to marry Robin. That certainly would a surprise and the topic of conversation for when she returns to LA with a husband in tow. "I wish my mother felt the same way." Bitter, bitter, bitter! That's how Regina felt. The very moment she arrived to Robin's home she felt rather jealous of him. He had an amazing home, family and a beautiful childhood plastered all over the walls that she admit to envy, but at the same time she was happy. His upbringing made him the marvelous man that he is. The man she is proud to be with. Plus, she is gaining an amazing family herself. Blessed is short of a word for what she feels. Still, she felt rather green at the thought and she felt ashamed about feeling like that. Her eyes casted to the floor, her heart aching a bit more than it did at the thought of not having her father around for this. She could bring herself to look at the woman who's is lending her part of her own history to make her own with Robin. Regina couldn't, but Lorelai didn't allowed her to avoid her gaze. The older woman tucked a single crooked finger beneath her chin, lifting it up so their gaze met.

Regina felt the air almost choke her.

There was love, compassion and understanding in Lorelai's intense blue eyes. It made the brunette feel raw, exposed, something that only Robin was capable of provoking in her. But she supposes it is fair that his mother got to see this part of her. After all Robin was fifty percent (more like a hundred) his mother's child. Regardless, her eyes shifted, they lingered on a family photo in the older woman's room in which Robin was being his dorky usual self. It made a smile bloom and her stomach do somersaults.

"She may not think the same or be here at the moment, but you have me." The woman spoke with an undertone of pride that Regina has never been on the receiving end of. Their hands were still joined together as she continued speaking. "I'm not pretending to take her place in your life, I'm just trying to let you know that no matter what, you have my full support, okay? After all we are about to become family."

Did it surprise Regina that Lorelai spoke in such a way? Not really. But it still had a huge effect on her. For a very long time, the concept of family was only her father. His visits to her office, their lunches together and even the father daughter dates once a month. He always been supportive of her dreams, and always pushed her to chase them without any regrets. Which, again, made her truly guilty of not telling him about her upcoming nuptials.

That's all she ever known since before the falling out with her mother. Right now it was hard for Regina to fathom that someone else wanted in on a family tie with her. Robin wanted to marry her, and Lorelai in more words, was expressing her desire to be like a mother to her. So yes, it was a big deal for Regina to the point where tears were barely being held back and her hands were balled into fist. It was too much for one day, too many emotions that were overflowing her heart but for the first time they weren't bad ones and she welcomed them with open arms.

But words couldn't come out. Tears? Well they did fall as she pulled the older woman into a tight embrace. It was a strange feeling that she wanted to keep feeling, forever. The warmth provided by those words have scar themselves into her chest. Those are the only scars she is proud to wear. "Thank you." Regina muttered with eyes closed, still hugging Lorelai. The woman placed her arms around her as well.

Once her father told her something that at this moment made a whole lot of sense.

Bravery is allowing something else to see your heart, your scars, even when you fear what they might think. Bravery is finally finding peace where you least expected.

In that moment Regina Mills felt brave, and allowed herself to be excited for the future, a future she will now share with people she is proud to call family.