It's All Fun at the Carnival!

Epilogue

It took a good long while for everyone to get back to normal. And for the nightmares to stop. And for everyone to be in the same room as Gamzee, John, Jake, Roxy, and Jade without flinching. But things settled down eventually.

The only one who REALLY held onto the grudge was, of course, Vriska, who still suffered from paranoia and twitches. At first she attempted retribution against Jake for daring to enjoy her misery so much, but her first attempt went right down the toilet.

Jake was reconciling with Dave in the rec room—still wearing the pants Gamzee gave him because damn, were they ever comfortable and completely covering—when Vriska came in and started running her mouth. It wasn't until she heard the click of a gun hammer being pulled back did she stop and see that Jake wasn't even looking up from his conversation with Dave and had one of his pistols aimed at her head.

"Vriska, you're currently pissing off someone who can shoot a bird through the eye in total darkness. And like John said, 'Idiot Death isn't permanent'. But I'm PRETTY sure it still hurts a bloody lot. So if you value that freaky eye of yours, I'd scuttle back into your dark corner like the spiderbitch you are."

Dirk was staring at Jake like he had grown an extra head. Vriska looked even more bamboozled than Dirk did. Jake just kept casual eye contact with Dirk, his gun hand never wavering.

Vriska turned and walked out without another word, and Jake slipped the gun back into his syllabus.

Dirk once again was grateful for his God Tier pants being poofy.


Dave and Karkat sat opposite of John and Gamzee as they were playing a game. A horrible game. A game that threatened the very fabric of humanity and bonds forged in both blood and loyalty. A GAME THAT WAS TO BE THE FINAL TEST OF GAMZEE'S INITIATION INTO NORMAL INTERACTION.

Monopoly.

And as it turned out, Gamzee was a ruthless, natural capitalist who was good with money and merciless with getting what he was owed.

Dave was staring at his stupid horse piece, about to go bankrupt, visibly sweating and making Karkat think of Equius. "….if I don't roll a six, I'm out of this game," Dave muttered.

"…Dave, you take these games way too seriously," said John, who poked at his dog icon. "It's just Monopoly. We don't even have JOBS to worry about right now as it is."

"What the fuck is even the POINT of this game!?" Karkat growled, glowering at his hat piece, having started losing patience twelve turns ago. "To fucking LOSE!? That's STUPID! This game is FUCKING STUPID!"

"…you're just mad you're motherfuckin' losing," Gamzee said matter-of-factly, counting up his fake cash.

The game went airborne as Karkat shrieked and tipped it over. "FUCK THIS GAME AND FUCK THAT STUPID HAT! AND FUCK YOU JOHN FUCKING EGBERT FOR SUGGESTING IT!" He continued to rave as Dave frantically shooshpapped him.

John and Gamzee exchanged a look before picking up the pieces.

"…Just when I was about to motherfuckin' win too…"

John smiled, putting the pieces neatly in the box before taking it to the corner where all the rest of the board games were, levitating up to put it on the top shelf. Vriska took that opportunity to shoot a spitball through her straw right onto John's neck, knowing full well John had a THING about wet things touching his neck.

John shrieked and flailed, creating a panicked wind around him that made all the board games on the shelf fall right on top of him, pieces scattering everywhere. Gamzee honked in distress, hurrying over to pull John out from under the pile.

"Now THAT is a prank," Vriska said, smirking as she watched Gamzee fret over John, who in turn was assuring Gamzee that he was fine.

"Ooooh, you know what's going to happen as soon as John discovers it was you, right?" Jade said, looking both amused and serious. "His Prankster's Gambit is going to go through the ROOF in retaliation."

"Like he can get any worse than that stupid fuckery of a party," Vriska mumbled. Jade continued with her LOOK.

"Never…ever…underestimate John Egbert's Prankster's Gambit," she said ominously, turning back to her book. Vriska scoffed.

"What EVER," she muttered, reclining back and watching Gamzee carry a protesting John out of the room. She finished off her drink and a trashy magazine before standing up. "Wonder what the Psycho Twins are up to," she said, heading off to get more napkins for more spitballs.

CRASH

SPLOTCH

Silence.

Everyone looked up and stared at what just happened to Vriska.

Vriska was standing stock still in the doorway.

A bucket on her head.

And was dripping with thick, purple goo.

Terezi sniffed the air. "…what smells like sour grapes and Gamzee?"

Karkat turned an interesting green-red, putting a hand over his mouth. "Oh GOG—" He absconded quickly to the bathroom. Sounds of puking came moments later.

Rose burst into loud laughter, almost falling off the couch as Kanaya blushed a bright white. Dave was torn between helping Karkat and wanting to collapse from the laughter he was trying to keep in for Karkat's sake.

Vriska remained in a shocked, motionless state until John and Gamzee walked back in, pausing.

"Uh…Vriska? You have a bucket on your—"

Vriska let out a loud scream, running out of the room, sounding more traumatized than when she was on synthynique, the bucket flying off her head. John barely managed to catch it before it hit him, holding it at arm's length since he had been informed on what it was FOR on Alternia. "Er…"

"John, that was INCREDIBLY inappropriate, even for a prank!" Kanaya scolded. John gingerly handed Roxy the bucket to Void away, wiping his hands on his pants.

"I didn't do it!" he said, huffing. "Ever since Gamzee told me what it's for, it's like…..touching someone else's condoms or something!"

"Oh my GOD, John!" Roxy said, burying her face in her hands. "JUST…EW."

"Hard to believe you would just let Vriska get away with that WITHOUT trying to one-up your Prankster's Gambit," Jade said.

"…Wait, that slimy thing on my neck was because of VRISKA? EW!"

As John scrubbed at his neck, Gamzee picked up a comic book and sank into a beanbag chair, taking his bag of purple Jammin' Sour Diabetic Coma Gushers out of his pocket and eating them, grinning widely.

Johnbro may be the king of pranks, but he wasn't the only one with a Prankster's Gambit.