Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

I was gonna disown this fic…but meh. Here is the next chapter!!

Chapter 8 : Tsunade and everyone she's ever loved


As a wee lad, Tsunade was mighty powerful.

She would tromp around and beat up the neighborhood boys.

She even went as far as creating an elaborate arm wrestling tournament in which she obviously came out the victor.

The elders AKA DANZOU OMG could absolutely not put up with this.

In the night, they secretly broke into her house, which was a cave btw, and plucked out a single strand of her hair.

It is beyond me why she lives in a cave because she is related to the Hokage. It would make sense that she would live in the Hokage tower but whatever.

Anyways, the elders cast a voodoo curse upon Tsunade, using her strand of hair.

The curse made it so that Tsunade would remain being strong and beautiful, but everyone she expressed love towards to would die.

"Aw come on guys!" said one of the elders named Stan, "How could we do something so cruel?"

"SHUTUP" screamed Danzou, "I will not have a GIRL be stronger than the boys I am training in my secret anbu club."

"Your stupid anbu club will never become official!! Its headquarters are in a tree!" shouted Stan.

Danzou was OUTRAGED. His eyebrows made several flamboyant movements before he slapped Stan across the cheek with the back of his hand.

"How DARE you call my secret anbu club stupid!!" screamed Danzou.

A massive catfight ensued. The wounds Stan inflicted upon Danzou are STILL healing to this day, hence the bandages.

Stan, on the other hand, is dead. May he rest in peace.

The very next day, Tsunade's little brother died.

"NOOO," she wailed when she found out about her brother's demise.

She wallowed in sorrow until a young, handsome man named Dan strolled into her life.

"Hi, I'm Dan!"

"I'm Tsunade. You're pretty funny, but what is your real name?"

"Um, it's really Dan. Just Dan," he replied.

"Not Danu? Or Dani? Or Danmaru?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"No…Dan…" he said, starting to wonder if in fact that was REALLY his name.

"Alright," Tsunade said, clasping Dan's hand in her own, "I guess this is about the time we start a romantic relationship."

"Hmm…alright!" said Danmaru while accepting a nifty necklace from Tsunade.

The voodoo gods, however, had other things planned.

Tsunade and Dan were walking in the woods when a WAR erupted. And Dan got STABBED!

"WWWHHHYYYYYY?!?!" screamed Tsunade.

"It's the stupid necklace!!" shouted Danzou from his secret anbu tree.

"OMFG you're right! I gave this to my brother, who's name escapes me, and to my LOVER!"

"AND THEY ARE BOTH DEAD!" shouted Danzou.

"I will never give this to ANYONE!" whispered Tsunade to herself.

"Unless they ask me really hard!" vowed Tsunade as she fist-pumped the air.


Thanks for reading, please review

Next chap will be the last FINALLY!