Well, here you go! The final "real chapter!" Thank you to all those who stuck with me through this story, even when I didn't update for two months! It's meant so much to me to see all the reviews and your engagement with this story! It's been so fun to do some creative writing after years without it! Let me know what you think of the final installment!
On Sunday afternoon after the ball, a puffy-eyed Anne was sitting in the orchard behind Patty's Place with her diary and a pen, thinking deeply about her future.
There had been quite a bit crying over the past few days as she had come to the realization that—especially after the events of the ball—she would not be able to remain close friends with Gilbert. If he was going to have a successful marriage with Christine, he couldn't have a best friend who still secretly loved him and kept forgetting herself when he was around. It was too painful for her, and Christine clearly didn't approve of their closeness as had been patently obvious when she interrupted their dance.
Still, as hard as she tried, she couldn't imagine a future without him. Once she moved on from her romantic feelings, perhaps then they could be friends again. Then again, she couldn't quite imagine doing that either, but it was worth a try.
When Phil found her there, lying under one of the larger apple trees, she was intensely scribbling her thoughts on to the page in a rather stream-of-consciousness style.
Anne only looked up when Phil touched her shoulder. "Honey, you've been out here all day. Don't you want to come in and eat something? You've been rather melancholy lately."
"I know. I'm sorry," she sighed, sitting up to face Phil.
"Don't be sorry. We just would like to get a better idea of what's going on with you, so we can help," Phil said with a gentle smile.
Anne looked at Phil and realized that it was now pointless to keep her feelings a secret anymore. "I…," she sighed before continuing, "I'm in love with Gil."
Phil did not look as surprised as Anne expected her too and asked, "Why aren't you more shocked?"
"Well, I'm surprised you admitted it, but we all know you two have been in love for a long time. But, I don't understand why that is making you sad."
Anne rolled her eyes at having to deal with this for the millionth time. "Because he is proposing to Christine."
Phil's jaw dropped. "But how? When?"
Anne sighed and fell back against a tree. "They met at the Graduation Ball in May. She started writing him when we were back in Avonlea, and they have been spending a lot of time together over the summer while he's been here."
"Well, that doesn't mean he's proposing," said Phil logically, trying to take in all this new information at once.
"When I was in Avonlea, I saw a letter he sent to his parents, saying that he needed his grandmother's ring because he finally realized he could propose to her."
"Goodness, Darling, I'm so sorry. We just assumed that he was just spending time with her because of Ronald…We—I never would have teased you so much about it if I had known."
Phil hugged Anne and gave her a sympathetic look, but Anne just smiled sadly. "Please don't feel bad. I never told any of you about it."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"Well, I've tried to remain friends with him, but it's so difficult to be close to him without any hope of ever being anything more. I don't think I can do it, and I need to tell him that."
"That you can't be friends anymore?" Phil asked incredulously.
Anne tried to open her mouth but could only nod as tears came once again. She buried her head in Phil's shoulder until she could speak. "It will be so difficult, but it will have to happen eventually. Married men are just not close with single women—especially women who are in love with them!"
Phil gave her a sympathetic look. "I can't imagine a world where you two aren't friends. It's been the one constant in the time I've known you both."
"He's been in my life since I came to Avonlea. And, aside from the slate incident, he's always been on my side, rooting for me in every way," she said with a sad smile.
Phil took a deep breath. "I'm sorry...I don't know what to say—I was so sure he was in love with you. Everyone was," she said shaking her head in disbelief.
Anne shook her head, "I thought so too at times, but there's nothing I can do about it now."
"When are you going to talk to him?"
"I suppose Tuesday—after our British literature class…Oh, God, how am I to do this?" Anne moaned, putting her face in her hands.
"I honestly don't know, Honey; but, you'll get through this like you always have. And, we'll always be here for you no matter what," Phil said, squeezing her hand.
The following day Johnathan paid a visit to Gilbert's boarding house to hear what happened after he and Anne had danced at the ball. And, much to Johnathan's chagrin, Gilbert was completely forlorn at the situation.
"Come on, Blythe. Now, you're just being ridiculous! There's no way that Anne could have fallen in love with a fellow she just met on Friday. Have you talked to her at all?" Johnathan said, leaning backwards on Gilbert's desk chair.
"Well, no," Gilbert said, flopping back on his bed. "I've stopped by all of her regular spots, but she hasn't been there. She wasn't in church yesterday, and no one was home when I paid a call to Patty's Place last night."
"Okay, well, then don't jump to any conclusions. There are dozens of reasons you might not be able to reach her besides Roy. I understand why you're stressed—really—but I feel like so much of this uncertainty could be dispelled if you just calm down!"
Gilbert knew Johnathan was frustrated with him. He was frustrated with himself, but Gilbert had always been uncomfortable with ambiguity. Unlike school, there was no rubric or formula for love. He could not simply plug in the numbers or translate a phrase to work out whether his love was unrequited or not.
"Yeah, I know. I think I sh—" Gilbert's last word was cut off by a knock at the door.
"Gil! Your mail's here!" his hall-mate called.
Rolling off the bed, he dragged himself to the door to take his mail. "Thanks, Michael," he murmured before lying back on the bed and shuffling though his letters.
Johnathan had only started lecturing him again about his lovesickness when Gilbert bolted upright, ripping open one of the envelopes in the stack.
"What? What is it?" Johnathan asked, moving to look over Gilbert's shoulder.
"I can't believe I forgot! My mother sent me letter last week, chastising me for not proposing to Anne, and I corrected her and—"
He cut himself off as his eyes started frantically scanning the page.
…Anne saw your request for the ring on accident! She's the one who told us that you were planning to marry Christine. She told us all about the time you were spending with her family and how you two really hit it off at some ball back in May. We were shocked but had no reason to think she was wrong.
She seemed devastated, so we didn't talk about it with her anymore. I'm so sorry, Dear. I wish we had known more, and this might have been prevented…
"Blythe," Johnathan said in shock, grabbing Gilbert's shoulder.
Gilbert dropped the letter on his lap—his mind rapidly processing the contents of his mother's letter. Anne thought he had an understanding with Christine! So much finally made sense! Why she had avoided him even when she didn't seem like she wanted to. Why she was so uncomfortable with his proximity at times. Why she kept asking about Christine in general.
"She thinks you're in love with Christine," Johnathan said, dumbstruck.
"I know."
All of the tears she had shed and the self-doubt she had been experiencing!
"She was devastated by that knowledge."
"I know."
Yet, she had remained so devoted to him in spite of it all. Still managing to make him laugh despite her depression. Kissing him on the cheek! Telling him she loved him!
"She loves you."
Gilbert paused, staring straight ahead, almost in a trance. "She does."
Johnathan jumped up and whooped, pulling Gilbert up with him. He embraced Gilbert and slapped him on the shoulders. "Come on, Blythe! She loves you!…What's wrong?"
Gilbert was torn between joy and despair. "She thinks I don't love her. She's been suffering all summer, taking care of my family and thinking that I don't love her…"
Johnathan put his hands on Gilbert's shoulders and looked him square in the eye. "Look, Blythe, I know it's not worth it to logic with you when it comes to Anne, but I'm begging you. Stop feeling guilty! Stop worrying about all the misunderstandings! Find her and talk to her! You do no one any favors by running around, feeling sorry about what you two didn't know didn't know! So, get out there before I slap you!"
Gilbert stared at Johnathan, who had never been that aggressive before, but understood that his friend was right. He needed to find Anne, and luckily the best person to help him do that would be in his next class.
Gilbert rushed to his honors mathematics class hoping to speak to Phil before class, but by the time he had arrived, all the students were seated and the lecture had begun. In spite of the distraction it made, Gilbert made his way to sit in the front row so that he could attempt to get Phil's attention.
Hardly bothering to pay attention to the lecture at all, Gilbert simply stared at Phil until she looked at him. To his surprise, she just glared at him. God, what did I do now?
Unbothered by the professor's droning voice, he thought back to his recent interactions with Phil. He had met her date at the ball—nice fellow—Jo something. He didn't comment the color of dress like he had once before, which had earned him a week of passive aggressive treatment.
Phil didn't look at him for the rest of the class, and once class was dismissed, she swiftly exited the hall without looking back when he called her name. He had to run to catch up with her in the courtyard. Grabbing her hand, he pleaded with her, "Phil, please talk to me."
"What?" she snapped, stopping to look at him.
"What is your problem with me? What did I do to deserve this? You were just fine talking to me on Friday night!" Gilbert said, his temper rising.
"Well, Friday night I didn't know that you were going to propose to Christine Stuart!" she all but yelled.
"Agh! Not you too!" Gilbert cried, rubbing his temples. "I don't know how people I have to say it to! I never have, do not, and never will want to marry Christine. In fact, I told her as much Friday night!
"I want to marry Anne. I've only ever been in love with Anne, and only this morning I discovered that she has this absurd idea in her head for the last three months that I want to marry another woman! All I want to do is talk to her, but I cannot find her. And, I think that if I continue to walk around with this ring in my pocket, I'm going to go mad!" he said exasperatedly, pulling the little velvet pouch out of his pocket and gesturing with it.
Phil's jaw dropped, and there was a long pause before she shrieked and jumped up and down. "Oh, Gilbert! I knew you would come through! I just knew it! You have never so much as looked at another woman—I simply couldn't believe it!"
"Thank you! I honestly don't know how people could believe otherwise!" He sank back against a nearby tree and gave Phil an imploring look. "Please, Phil, I need to talk to Anne now. Where is she?"
"She's been sitting out in the orchard since she came back from her morning class. I'm sure she's there now."
The relief Gilbert felt was so intense he almost cried, but he took a deep breath, thanked Phil, and began to run to Patty's Place.
Anne was lying on her back staring at the clouds, thinking about topics to write her first official column on. Women's educational achievement? Why children shouldn't have to work? How to treat society's newcomers?
There were so many topics to choose from, and she had to turn it into a cohesive statement by next week. It seemed near impossible when she had absolutely no motivation to do anything.
"Anne?"
At the sound of his voice, she bolted up from her position. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she suddenly couldn't find the words to speak.
"We need to talk," he said firmly, coming to sit in front of her.
Anne timidly nodded her head in agreement, trying desperately to gather the strength to tell him what she needed to tell him.
"I think there's been a lot of—" he began, but Anne cut him off.
"Gil, I need to tell you something, but I won't be able to tell you if you speak first. So, please don't speak until I'm finished."
She chanced a look at him then, and he stopped, waiting for her to continue.
She looked down at the ground where his shoes were crossed in front of her and began to tangle her fingers in the grass lying between them. "I know I've been difficult and over-emotional, and hard to read these past few months; and I apologize for that. I've wanted to tell you why for so long, but I didn't think I could tell you without making us both unhappy. But, in keeping the real reason from you, I have hurt both of us—perhaps myself most of all." Her voice had sped up to an unsustainable speed at this point, and she had to take a deep breath before continuing.
"You see—uh," her focus on the grass in front of her became more intense, and she found herself glaring at it. "You see, I came to realize that I did not love you merely as a friend but that I loved you in a romantic sense."
She heard him inhale quickly and carried on without pause. "And, I know that you are with Christine—I've figured out that much."
"Anne," he said softly.
Without looking up at him, she held her hand up to stop him, "Don't interrupt! Please! I have to say this!"
Hearing no further objection from him, she continued—humiliation gathering in the pit of her stomach. "I didn't want to abandon you as a friend just because you found someone to love, but it was hellish to feel so inadequate next to her and to feel…like I was losing my best friend to someone I couldn't compare to.
"And, I know that you would never think of it like that, and I know that I have wonderful qualities too that are different from Christine's. But, in spite of that, I realized on Friday night that I will never be able to move on from my feelings if we continue spending time together. I don't want to be a reason Christine gets angry with you. I don't want to lose you permanently either. I sincerely hope that we can be friendly again someday, but I don't know if we can remain friends without hurting us both."
Tears began streaming down her face; and drawing her knees to herself, she began to cry into her lap. She only looked up when she felt his warm hand on one of hers.
"Can I speak now?" he said with a gentle smile.
She pursed her lips and nodded, barely looking at him, bracing herself for the world's kindest and most insufferable rejection.
"Anne, I frankly don't know where to begin, but I think the best place to start is that I am not proposing to Christine."
Her eyes widened, and she finally looked him in the eye—not daring to speak.
"Christine is engaged. She has been engaged—since before we met her. I have never been attracted to Christine. In fact, I find her rather self-absorbed and tiring which is why I told her that I didn't want to spend time with her anymore on Friday at the ball."
Anne's mind was going a mile a minute. She tried thinking back on the last three months to all of her interactions with Christine and Gilbert, but she couldn't. All she could process was that she was experiencing profound joy and relief that shook her to the core.
He shifted forward to take both her hands and look her in the eye, smiling. "I think the next thing I should address is your supposed inadequacy. I simply must inform you that you are the most singular, incredible woman I have ever met."
She closed her eyes and felt two tear fall from the corner of each eye, feeling warmth fill her body. She felt the heat from his hands as he cupped her face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. And, she leaned into his hands, as he touched his forehead to hers.
She opened her eyes and begged her heart to slow down so she could hear his next words.
"And, I think the final objection I have to make to your statement is that I have only loved one woman in my life. She is my very best friend and closest companion. And, I have no intent to ever dissolve our friendship. In fact, I hope to never be parted from her again."
She began to tremble, and he pulled himself away from her face just enough so he could see the joyous tears streaming from her eyes.
"Anne Shirley," he said; his voice barely a whisper. "I love you more than words can describe. Will you marry me?"
She couldn't hold back anymore and began sobbing. Through her tears, she began laughing. "Yes! Yes!" she said, nodding incredulously as he began laughing with her.
Gilbert wiped away her tears with his thumbs and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anne, this feels so strange to ask, but may I kiss you?"
Anne didn't even respond but launched herself at him, toppling him to the ground and kissing him with all the passion she had repressed over the past three months.
Once Gilbert had recovered from the shock of her kiss, he responded in kind, running his hands through her now-loosened hair and kissing her jaw, face, and neck.
Anne couldn't remember a moment in her life happier than this one. Feeling the sudden urge to see his face, she broke away from their kiss and—still lying on top of him—rose up on her hands to look in his eyes.
The light that shone from his face was radiant, and he looked almost drunk on happiness. "I am scandalously in love with you, Gilbert Blythe."
He laughed joyously and let his head collapse on the ground. "I gathered that from the way you attacked me so indecorously!"
She shot him an imperious smile and began to roll off of him. "Well, if you are too scandalized, Mr. Blythe; I will just have too—"
"Oh, no you don't," he said, rolling with her to hover over her. "I take it all back," he said, kissing her again.
After remaining blissfully occupied for several moments, Anne began laughing against his kisses.
"Now, what's so funny?" Gilbert asked, breaking away from her lips and lying back on the ground next to her.
Anne turned her head toward his and blushed, biting her bottom lip. "It's just that…I thought it would be strange to kiss my best friend, but it's been the most natural thing in the world."
"Well, I for one didn't," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb, and laughed gently. "I would almost be offended you thought it would be strange if I wasn't so pleased that you imagined it at all!"
Anne giggled. "Not imagining it was the difficult part. You kept appearing in my dreams at the most inconvenient times, you miscreant!"
"Well, I won't complain," he said with a triumphant smirk. "My dreams of you have generally been quite pleasant."
She smiled and leaned in to press her lips to his once more. "It's strange to think that you have dreamt of me as I have dreamt of you. I would have all these dreams of us married, and they were so lovely, and it hurt to think of them not coming true—to think that you couldn't see me that way."
"Well, I did—for many years. But, when did you realize you loved me? I'm trying to understand the events of the past few months, and I simply cannot understand how you or anyone else thought I could have ever been in love with Christine. I was always so afraid I was being very obvious in my affection!"
Anne blushed and scooted closer to him to lean her head against his shoulder. "Maybe you were, but I was quite ignorant of it even when everyone else wasn't," she laughed. "I first started to realize that I loved you when I found out you wouldn't be coming back to Avonlea for the summer. I began to think about what would happen when we wouldn't see each other every day. I began to imagine that you would find a girl to marry, and then we met Christine. She made me feel so insignificant, and it just made sense to me that someone as amazing as you would fall in love with someone like her. Then, you mentioned her in your letters, and I saw you talking with Ronald at the port, and it all made sense to me."
He kissed the top of her head. "Well, I didn't. She was vain and snobbish and tried to flirt with me behind her fiancé's back. We didn't have similar values, and she only liked me in spite of my background. You are the exact opposite. You're humble and kind and intelligent and loyal and generous—and most of all you make me happy."
Anne placed her hand on his chest and sighed. "I still can't believe that we're going to be married."
"Speaking of," he said, sitting up with a grin on his face, "I think you should have this."
He pulled a small pouch out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a beautiful little pearl ring which he slipped on to her finger. "It was my grandmother's, and I've been waiting for years until I could give it to you."
He took her hand, turned it over looking at the ring. She smiled at the reverent look on his face.
"I wish I had something to give you to mark our engagement, Dearest," she mused stroking his chin.
"The fact that you called me 'dearest' instead of 'miscreant' or 'scoundrel' is enough for me!"
They both laughed before she kissed him again. She pulled away and looked in to his eyes. "Well, my dearest scoundrel, shall we inform the troops?"
He pulled his arms tighter around her and shook his head. "Soon. I need to savor the feel of you in my arms just a little while longer."
Once the shadows had begun to lengthen and the crickets began to chirp, Gilbert stood up and helped his beloved off the ground, pulling her in for one last sweet kiss before taking her hand and walking to Patty's Place.
He found himself more at peace than he had been in months, having spent the past few hours discussing all of his misunderstandings with Anne. So much made sense once she explained her side of it, and she was all too happy to make up for each misunderstanding with love and affection.
It was actually surprising to see how affectionate she had been only in the few hours since they confessed their love. Her hand was always in his, and the only time she would take her head off of his shoulder was when she leaned up to kiss him. She insisted on tracing all the lines of his hands and running her fingers over the contours of his lips. It is truly intoxicating to be loved by Anne, he thought.
The joy was all the greater when they had the opportunity to share their joy with the girls' at Patty's Place. Phil, of course, had told the other girls about her earlier encounter with Gilbert, but they were no less joyous having expected the news.
Gilbert blushed when Stella made a comment about Anne's redder-than-usual lips in front of Aunt Jimsie, and Priscilla joked that Gilbert would finally be able to relax for the first time in years. And, most importantly, Anne had the most joyful look on her face—one which made Gilbert's heart melt.
Eventually, they made it to Johnathan's boarding house where Johnathan shared a long list of all the times Gilbert was too lovesick to work, much to Gilbert's chagrin and Anne's amusement. After Johnathan had gone back upstairs to his room, Gilbert and Anne stayed downstairs in order to pen letters to their respective parents.
"I do hope that nothing will remain awkward when I see your parents again. They really did not know how to respond to me after I told them about Christine."
"Yes, thank you again for that, Darling," he said, rolling his eyes. "I received an irate letter from my mother telling me that I was absolutely insane if I didn't want you for a bride. And, several lines about how I had disappointed them with my choice.
"But, I wouldn't worry about any of that because my parents may love you even more than they love me."
Anne laughed and took his hand above the table. "I'm sure that's not true, but I do think they love me for you."
"Quite right," he said with bright eyes. "Now, shall we post these?"
"Lead the way, future husband." She gave him a coquettish look, making him nearly trip over his own feet.
The streets of Kingsport were quiet as the pair made their way to the post office. They purposely took side streets to extend the length of their walk. "I've been thinking all this evening," he said, breaking the silence. "And, I wish that I would have talked about this with you when we were back in Avonlea. Then, maybe we could have avoided all of this pain and heartbreak, and we could have had more time together."
"I don't know," she reflected, "I think I may have needed this time to come to terms with who I am and who I am without you and who you are in my life."
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "What do you mean?"
"When I thought you couldn't love me back, I really didn't like myself. I found all the things that were wrong with me and fixated on them. But, when I came to terms with the idea of living a life without you, it was painful, but I had to think about living a life alone. And, it wasn't terrible. I realized how smart I was and grew to appreciate all the other people in my life who love and care about me. Of course I'm happy that I will get to spend the rest of my life with you—it's like a dream come true—but I think I can better accept that you love me now.
"I can see what you see in me," she continued, "and that makes me feel like I can fly."
Gilbert stopped and pulled her to him, tipping her face up to kiss her. "You always find a way to surprise me, Shirley."
"I try," she said with a little smirk.
"Plus, I guess it wouldn't have helped adding three extra months to a nearly five year wait time to get married."
"What?" Anne exclaimed.
Gilbert was alarmed at Anne's response, and not wanting to create any more misunderstandings between them, he explained. "I'm going to medical school. I couldn't support a family during that time, and I can't think of a school that would allow a married woman to teach."
Anne went quiet, and Gilbert recognized her "thinking look" on her place. As they turned on to an alleyway, he recognized it as the alley where Anne had befriended those three men back in April. Wanting desperately to break the silence, he joked, "We're back on that same alley behind the butcher's shop. Are you going to do anything crazy this time?"
"Perhaps," Anne said with a thoughtful expression, and Gilbert laughed uneasily.
"What would you say if I propose we get married in June after our graduation?"
Gilbert looked at her with a confused expression. "Did you not hear what I just said?"
"Yes," she said slowly, "no school would hired a married teacher, but I'm sure a newspaper has few qualms about hiring a married columnist. No one has to know who I am, and I can work from home."
Gilbert's jaw dropped as his mind began working over the possibility of Anne's plan.
"I could be making 50 to 60 dollars a month. Potentially more with syndication," she said practically.
Gilbert remained silence as he ticked boxes off of an imaginary check list for their future.
"Gil?" Anne asked, her voice concerned.
"Anne, Darling, of course, I will accept anything that gets us married sooner!" He embraced her and twirled her around before setting her down and kissing her deeply.
She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him dreamily. "In just over 21 months, I will be Anne Blythe."
"And, I will be the happiest man in the world," he said genuinely before his smile turned teasing. "You better get started crocheting doilies then."
She burst out laughing then, shoving him which he expertly dodged. Even in her pretend anger, Anne couldn't keep the smile off her face as Gilbert took off running down the street. As she chased him, she started to laugh, thinking that all was as it should be. Wherever he went from now on, the she would follow and vice versa—even if it was just to the post office.
As they stopped in front of the post office, she smiled, recalling the verse she had said years before—now, more appropriate than ever. "God's in his heaven, and all's right with the world."
Up next: a sort of epilogue and lots of fluff...
So, I've mentioned this before, but I plan to make a sequel to this story. However, I have so many ideas that are so different in style and theme, so I have decided to make my sequel a series of one-shots that exist in my little AU. The Epilogue will be a sort of preview of this!
Also, this story has become so different to what I first planned for it, and I often wanted to go back and change things. Now that the story's finished, I think I'll go and update it, fixing little grammatical and formatting errors on the way for posterity!
Anyway, thanks so much and let me know what you would like to see a one-shot of in the sequel-I might just end up writing it!
Much love to all,
Cristina
