Ch 9: Living separate lives?

Ana got up from her bed refreshed. She loved that feeling of being safe and that's what she needed right now. To feel safe. She got ready for the day and went into the kitchen to have a quick breakfast, before leaving to go to the hospital to check in on Selena, Christian arrived, coming in the door from the kitchen. The two saw each other as they both ran into each other's arms.

"Damn, I missed you. I missed holding you last night," Christian told her, holding her tight against him.

"I missed you too," she told him. Ana pulled away, just a bit.

"How is Selena?" he asked her.

"There's no change. In fact I was about to leave to go see her, do you want to go with me?"

"Um...no...I will check in with her later. I actually have an appointment."

"Okay. You look really worried. Is there anything besides us that's bothering you?" Ana asked.

"Are you kidding me? Besides missing my wife, and coming home to a bunch of chaos, what wouldn't be bothering me at this point? I just hated being away from you at night."

Ana looked him in his eyes. "You do understand why I had to stay here right?"

He looked back in her eyes too. "Yeah, in some ways, I do."

"I just needed to be with Kate, plus my brother asked me to go back home with him too. It got late so I decided to stay here."

"I think that's part of it," he told her, his voice dropping lower.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Be honest with me. You wanted to get away from me. I know you hate what I do for a living so you're trying to distance yourself from me and my family," he told her, while looking Ana in the eyes.

She sighed to him. "Christian, I can't really get into this right now…"

"Do you remember what I told you in SC?" he asked, walking closer to her. "Before we left?"

"You said a lot of things, Christian. What in specific are you referring to?"

"I'm not giving you up, Ana," he told her, cupping her face with his hand. "I won't." His eyes never wavered from hers.

"Wow! You sound so…" her voice trailed off as she saw the look in his eyes. He had that, 'You're mine,' look.

"I sound so what, Ana?" he asked, his voice dripping with sex.

"Possessive," she told him.

"What if I am?" he told her, his voice husky. He moved in closer to her, not an empty space between them. "You are mine, Anastasia. I told you I would do whatever it takes to keep you and I meant it."

"Christian," Ana gasped out.

"What? I'm only speaking the truth. I told you, I'm not giving you up," he told her firmly.

"Do you think I want that, Christian?" Ana asked. "But I don't know what else to do here. It just seems like you and I want different things."

"I just can't leave with Ben living in the house. I found out something interesting after you left," he told her.

"Oh?" she asked.

"It turned out that Ben is now living in the house. He moved in after we left for SC."

"Oh my god! You're kidding!" Ana said, practically laughing.

"You should have seen him. He walked around like he owned the place. So unbelievable. He also said this would be good for us too."

"Oh really," she said. "How is that possible?"

"He thinks that now he's moved into the house, he can be the one helping my mother and take over the business my father built. It's just ridiculous!"

"And that's bad how?" Ana asked, sort of excited.

"What do you mean?"

"Christian...don't you get it? This might be the prayers we have been asking for. Now that Ben is with your mom, he can help her with the business. I honestly don't think that's a bad idea," she told him.

"Ana, are you insane?" Christian asked angrily.

"No, I'm not. But from the look on your face tells me otherwise." Ana argued.

"There is no way in hell I will ever give him the reins to my father's business that he built!" Christian yelled to her.

Ana's eyes were wide. "That's what I was afraid of, Christian. This is exactly what I was talking about. This isn't about your mother or Ben. You don't want to give up your mobster ways," she pointed out.

"Ana, as I told you before, it's going to take time and your understanding."

"Christian, when we got back together, I thought we both wanted the same thing. To live a life free from the mob dealings and apparently that's not going to happen," she stated to him. Ana was walking away as he called out to her.

"Ana!" he yelled getting her attention. She turned, looking back towards him. "What?"she snapped.

"I have and will never give up on you. That much I can promise you." He came closer to her as he leaned in more. "I can't live without you anymore than you can't live without me. That's the bottom line," he said with finality.

His watch beeped at him alerting him that it was time for his meeting. "I got an appointment. I will see you later," he told her; emphasizing the will part, giving her a peck on the lips. He left knowing he'd see his wife later.

Christian had an appointment with Philip. He wanted to make a deal with him to get Ben out of his house. He showed up at Spaulding office ready to make a deal. He talked to Philip as he knew that Ben was a thorn in Philip's side. A few months ago, Ben was able to get some stocks from the company and he knew that Philip wanted them back.

He told Philip that neither one of them liked Ben, and this was their way of getting back at Ben. Philip would get his stocks back and Ben would be in jail for breaking into the computer system. It was a win, win situation. Though Philip wasn't quite ready to do business knowing his "reputation". He told Christian he'd give it some thought and get back to him.

Ana was ready to get her life back on track. She had called Abby and asked her to meet her at Company. While she was filling out some paperwork, Abby joined her.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Abby apologized to Ana.

"That's okay. I'm just sitting here filling out some paperwork. I'm going back to school. Pre-med."

Abby was shocked and surprised, although she knew it has always been Ana's dream to be a doctor and follow in the footsteps of her dad and brother.

"Wow! That's great! Does your brother know?"

"Not yet, you're the first to know. I know you have a speaking engagement in Washington, and I was thinking of going with you and tagging along. I think it would be a great experience for me," she rambled on.

"Oh, Ana, I'm happy for you, don't get me wrong I would love to have you go along and that you're very interested…"

"I'm more than interested, Abby."

"I can see that...but when will you have the time as you will have classes all day…" Abby started saying.

"I know...but I can do it. I just feel like I need to dive right in… I need my identity back. Ever since I married Christian, I feel like I have been living my life for him and that's not who I am. I need to focus on me and what direction I'm heading."

Abby reached over and touched Anna's hand. "I understand that completely, but, Ana, you have to consider Christian. He is your husband…"

"I know that!" Ana snapped at her sister in law. Abby winced a little. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap at you."

"All I was saying, before you just dive right in, you need to talk with your husband about this, because it affects his life as much as it does yours," Abby told her.

"Abby, this is something good that I'm trying to do for myself. I need this right now," she told her.

"I get it. But here's the thing, it's really easy to shut him out of your life if you are staying at your childhood home and he at his family's home. Its creating a barrier between the two of you, surely that's not what you want, is it?"

Ana sighed because she knew where Abby was going with this and she was right. I am trying to distance myself from him and his family.

"Your right. I am trying to distance myself from him." Ana told her.

"But why? I mean you two love each other and are trying to make your marriage work, right? So why are you doing this?"

"Because, Christian had the chance to back away from the crime family and he didn't take it," Ana told her.

"So does that mean you're going to walk away from him?"

Ana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "My head is telling me I should, but my heart is telling me to stick with it and he will." Just then her phone buzzed alerting her. She looked at it and saw Christian was calling her. This was the third call in the last hour.

Abby told Ana she had to get back to work, but she asked that Ana think about this more before doing something she'd regret. Ana saw Kate and Ben talking at another table. She went over to talk with her friend. That was another thing, she felt like ever since she and Christian renewed their vows, that her friends took a back seat. Well, not anymore.

"Hey, can I talk to Kate for a moment?" Ana asked Ben.

"Sure. I have a call to make anyway. I'll be right back," he told Kate.

Once Ana sat down with her she asked, "How is Selena?"

"She's getting better, slowly," Kate answered.

"I'm sorry about the fact she got hurt at Christian's…"

"Ana, no one who blaming them. At least I'm not, I know it was an accident."

"But still...I feel responsible. I love you and I don't want anything happening to you or your family."

"I know that and thanks. But it's fine. You don't have to worry, okay?" Kate told her friend.

Ana was starting to leave Company when she saw her husband approaching her.

"Hey, sweetie, I've been trying to reach you all day. Look, I know things got a little heated between us earlier but I think I may have some up with a solution to our problem."

Ana was looking back at him. "Christian, I really can't handle this right now. I honestly don't see a way out of this," she told him.

She started to walk away from him but he pulled her back to him. "What the hell?" he yelled to her. "Don't walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you. Nothing is going to get solved if you keep walking away from me," he told her sternly, looking into her eyes.

"Stop telling me what to do Christian," Ana growled at him angrily.

"Then stop acting like a fucking five year old. I'm...I'm trying here, Ana. We can't work this out if we don't talk about it." He told her.

"Please, Christian, I just need some time okay," she said practically in tears. "I need to go," she said, pulling away from him. Ana got in her car and drove off leaving Christian speechless.

Once Christian got home, he sat at the desk going through some documents but his mind wasn't on them. He couldn't think straight. It had been hours and still no word from his wife. He tried calling her again, but she wouldn't answer the phone.

He got up from his chair and walked over to the mantle and was looking at her picture. He couldn't believe how truly beautiful she was. Mia came downstairs and saw her brother looking at his wife's picture. She knew they were having some problems.

"Have you heard from her?"

He sighed. "No...not since earlier. She's not taking my calls at the moment," he told her.

Just as Mia was joining him, Grace came walking in. She was telling them she was going to the hospital. She told her son and daughter that it didn't look good for Selena.

"I was hoping to hear back from Ben, but it's been hours. So I thought I'd drop in and see how she was doing. If Selena is seriously injured, we're looking at a potential lawsuit here."

"How can you be so insensitive?" Mia asked her mother.

"I'm not trying to be. You know how upset about this accident, but the welfare of our family comes first."

"And knowing that Ben is her adversary, we both will sleep well tonight, won't we Mia?" Christian questioned.

"I was under the impression that you and he worked things out?" Grace asked her son.

"Look, mother, I don't really care who you get involved with. It doesn't mean I trust the guy either."

"Yes, but I do. By the way, did you know that Leila was back in town? She came home this week, and she asked about you."

Christian looked back at his mother by quirking his eyebrow to her. "What did you tell her?"

"She knows you're married, Christian. I haven't told her about all the drama that has been going on in the family lately. She's such a lovely girl. I was hoping that you and she would...well, never mind that now." Grace told him.

"Mother," Christian warned her. "That was a long time ago." he told her.

"It wasn't that long ago, and you know it." Grace told him.

Leila Williams Sandoval was Christian's ex girlfriend. After Christian broke it off with her, she went to LA to get into the music business. But she missed home so she decided to come back.

"Yes, well, I love Ana, mother. That will never change." He told her confidently.

"Ahhh yes. Where is your lovely wife?" Grace asked, knowing she hadn't seen her around much lately.

"She's been catching up with her family and friends," he told her.

"I see. So no trouble in paradise?"

"I know what you're trying to do mother and it won't work. Besides, I know it was you that called the cops in SC. Don't push it," he told her in a harsh tone.

"I'm heading out now. See you two later," she replied, ignoring her son's statement.

Their mother left the house and Christian had been watching his sister. Mia didn't seem right to him, she was acting guilty about something.

"What's going on with you, Mia?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You have been acting very strange ever since Ben has moved in. You seem nervous," Christian told her.

"Its nothing. I'm okay." She told him.

"Mia, I know you and your not fine. Does Ben have something on you? You can tell me and I can and will help you. Look, I know that it was Ben who rigged the stairs."

"It was me, Christian. I rigged the stairs, okay? It was me," Mia told him practically crying.

"You?" he asked, not convinced.

"I did it, Christian. I wanted Ben to get hurt, so I rigged them so he would fall and want to leave. I can't stand him being in this house," she told him crying.

Christian pulled his sister into his arms comforting her. He told her it would be okay, and that he would do everything in his power to make sure that Ben is out of their home for good. She nodded to him as he held her.

Mia left the room to go freshen up. Christian decided to go ahead and call Philip again to see if they could talk. But he got his message service instead. Just as he was leaving a message, he saw Ana. He got up as he saw her walk in further.

"Hey," he told her.

"Hi, how are you?" she asked.

Christian sighed as he fought back the tears that were forming. "How do you think I am, Ana? We can't work this out if we don't talk to each other and living in separate places. Just tell me that you're coming home where you belong." He told her.

Ana looked back at her husband solemnly. She hated that it had come to this; but she was determined to not come back to a life of crime. Christian came around and pulled her into his arms.

"Christian, this isn't easy for me either," she told him.

"Why did you walk away from me earlier today?" he asked.

"I'm sorry about that, I just had to think…"

Christian leaned down and kissed her. He held her jaw so he could hold her face in place while they kissed.

"I'm just glad your back," he told her while holding her.

Ana backed away from Christian sighing. He saw the look on her face and it wasn't good.

"So, you're not home?"

"I just can't...not ever again in this house," she replied back.

"So what are you saying?" He asked her his voice cracking. This can't be it? It can't be. We just renewed our vows to each other. Did that not meaning anything to her. "You are my wife, Anastasia," he said sternly. "You're not just some girl I hooked up with. We exchanged vows with each other," he told her his voice cracking even more.

"I'm well aware that I'm your wife, Christian. But this life that you're living goes against everything that I've been taught. I can't live with an armed guard around me twenty four hours a day and get used to shootings." Ana told him in a firm but soft voice.

Christian leaned against the mantle, Mia was in the corner listening to their conversation.

"Ana, I understand that you want no part of the violence, I do, but before we left for SC you said you could live with this until it changed. How can we possibly keep going living apart from each other? That isn't a marriage," he stated to her.

"Do you think I like this? I don't. But, I didn't want this to become my whole life. I have dreams of my own; and I feel like I can't fulfill them if…" her voice trailed of seeing the look in his eyes.

"If you're married to me," he finished the sentence for her. "Is that it?" he asked harshly. "So, what I'm a dream destroyer now?"

"I didn't say that. Stop putting words in my mouth, Christian," she told him. "I...ugh!" Ana screamed out pulling on her hair. She took a deep breath and calmed down. "All I was saying is this, once I go to school and become a doctor, I have an oath to take, to help and save people. That doesn't necessarily fit into a mobster way of life." She told him quietly.

Christian finally got what she was saying. It wouldn't look good for Ana if she saved lives and his family took them. He never really thought about it that way.

"You're right," he whispered to her. "I can't ask you to give up your dream of becoming a doctor, thats a very noble profession and I wouldn't dare ask you to give that up," he replied to her.

Ana came up to her husband as she rubbed his arms. He was finally realizing what she was saying.

"So does that mean, you will live with me at my brother's place until we can find our own place?" she asked hopeful.

"Ana, I can't leave, not with Ben in this house. I just can't. I don't trust him to take everything that my father had built."

"What does that mean exactly? If you can't leave and I can't stay here, what does that mean?"

"It means for now, we have to live separately," he told her, not liking it at all.

"See...this is what I was afraid of," she told him, pulling away. "Us living separate lives."

"This is only temporary until I can get him out of the house. It won't be forever. There's no way I can stay away from you that long."

"So when he is gone, we will have a normal life together?"

"Of course, baby."

"How long?"

"I don't know exactly, it's not something I can punch a timecard on." He palmed his wife's face and said quietly, "Ana, just know this. I love you so very much and I will do everything I can to make this happen for us. I promise you that."

Ana cried as she grabbed her husband and held on to him. "I love you too."

Christian gave her a long passionate kiss. "You better go before I take you upstairs and make love to you," he told her half joking.

"I'm sorry, Christian," Ana whispered to him her face close to his.

"Me too. But, it won't be for long. I'll talk to you soon. I love you, baby," he told her.

Ana walked out of the Grey home knowing that would be her last time for a while. Mia watched as she saw her brother swipe a lonely tear from his face. She began thinking about her relationship to Ethan knowing this is exactly what she had to look forward too. Mia was determined to not let that happen. She had to do something and fast.

A/N: Okay it's now your turn to tell me what you think.