AN:
Happy Monday!
I wanted to touch on a couple things, just in case my story is confusing anyone. This is not an angst story, I don't do well with angst...total wimp here! There will be drama, good amounts of it, eventually.
The prologue will happen...promise.
As for things taking a while, PPD literally changes you. It comes out of nowhere. I want people reading this to see how it happens but I don't feel as though I can accurately do that if you don't know who Bella was before PPD.
Thank you to everyone sticking it out with me!
And, as always, a huge thanks to my sis, HeartForTwilight and shouldbecleaning!
Chapter 9
My mind was spinning and my heart was racing.
Edward was being sent to another country.
For TWELVE MONTHS.
How was this possible? He didn't have anything coming up and now he's leaving? I don't know what to do or how to handle this. It's already so hard with him 7 hours away, how are we going to make this work when he's a full day's travel…by plane…away?
"Baby, are you still there?" I heard Edward ask through the phone.
Realizing I'd completely zoned out, I quickly responded, "Ya, I'm here I just don't know what to say."
Sighing he said, "I know, I'm in shock, too. We heard something might be going on, but I never thought it would be this." He paused then said, "Bella, this doesn't change anything, does it? I mean, we can make this work, I know we can." He said, sounding almost desperate.
I thought about it for a second then said, "No. I mean yes! It does change things, but I think we can figure it out."
Collecting my thoughts as I went along I told him what I'd been holding in for a while now, "There's a connection I feel with you that I've never felt before. I have no idea what that means but I know I don't want to let it go. You understand me. You get my humor and don't think I'm a massive bitch all the time. I can be myself around you." I caught myself from going any further, worried I was going to scare him off.
He proved me wrong by saying, "I can't even tell you how long I've wondered if you've been feeling it, too. From the moment I first met you I knew you were different than any other girl I'd met and all I wanted was to get to know you. Thankfully, you did let me spend time with you and it's done nothing but enhance what I already knew…you're the most insane, loveable, crazy girl and I'm so, so, so lucky to be able to call you mine."
Try as I might, I couldn't keep the tears away. I started blubbering like a baby and told him how much I missed him and wished we were together right now. That being away from him was so hard and I was scared over what the next year was going to bring. We were still pretty new to this relationship and, even though we both felt it had the potential to blossom into something amazing, this was absolutely terrifying.
It was a few days after his phone call and I found myself staring at my plate while having Sunday dinner at my parent's house.
"Bells? What has you so quiet tonight? Normally you can't shut up about this boy you're seeing. He didn't do anything that would require my foot meeting his ass, did he?" My dad asked while looking somewhat concerned.
"No, daddy, it's nothing like that." Taking a big sigh I looked at my parents, then at Emmett and told them what's been going on. "Edward called the other day and told me his unit is being sent to Iceland for twelve months. I'm freaking out. I don't know what to say or how to feel and I…"
My mom cut me off before I could hyperventilate, "Honey, take a breath, will you?" She forced me to literally take a deep breath then continued, "Bella, you've only been with this boy for a little while, are you sure this kind of long distance relationship is something you're prepared for?" She asked calmly.
Being the dramatic person that I am, I jumped on the defense with a qickness. "What the hell, mom? You don't think I can handle it or that we can't make this work? I know we can, it's just a shock, ok? Damn."
The three of them sat there smiling at me and then I realized I'd been duped.
"Whatever, you all suck. And Emmett tried to kill Rose the other night! I'll get dessert!" I yelled, running from the table before Em could grab me. The rents were already yelling at him and it cracked me up.
Ahh. I needed a good laugh.
Emmett came in the kitchen a few minutes later and put me in a headlock while tickling the crap out of me for ratting him out.
Mom laid into him for being so careless and dad, after laughing and getting in trouble with mom, told him that he needed to grow up and pay better attention.
That just made me laugh harder, which made Em even more annoyed and mom found us on the kitchen floor in a full on wrestling match.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?! Get your butts off my floor this instant!" Mom yelled, causing us both to stop instantly. She was a tiny woman but, when she got mad, you better mind yourself or she'll finish you.
"Sorry, mom" we both said while standing up and righting ourselves.
"Really mom, Emmett started it, coming in here and bugging me…"
My brother shoved me into the counter and said, "Shut up, Bella! You and your big mouth started this!"
"Like hell you overgrown child!"
"Beat it you whiny little daddy's girl!"
Then we felt the PAIN.
"OW! Mom!"
Yes. My 5'2" mother was currently holding the both of us by the ears. And it hurt!
"Let goooooo! I'm sorry that Bella was acting like such a jerk! I'll stop!" Emmett said, which only made mom squeeze harder.
"Shut up! Both of you! Now, get out of my kitchen and clear the table. Move!" She said what pushing us away from each other.
Walking out into the dining room we found dad hunched over the table with tears streaming down his face as he laughed his ass off.
Jerk.
"Ahahaha, you kids are so ridiculous. Why do you insist on getting your mother all riled up, huh? Now it's going to take twice as long to get her in the mood tonight."
"Oh, God! Daddy!" I said while gagging up my dinner.
"Get it done, dad! Wooop!" Emmett said, while looking like a fool, and clapping like he was talking to a friend instead of his father. Then he realized his father was talking about his mother and said, "Ew! Damnit. Leave mom alone!"
I shook my head and told him what a total idiot he was, then moved to sit down…anxiously awaiting cake.
Dad tossed his napkin at me, clearly wanting my attention, and said, "Now, I know you seem to really like this Edward guy, but are you positive this is what you want? There aren't any other guys around here that have caught your eye? Iceland is so far away…"
Rolling my eyes, I put a stop to his inquisition. "Dad, please, don't talk about other dudes catching my eye…it's so odd. And no, Edward has my full attention and I plan to stick this out as long as he'll have me. He's a good guy, daddy, and I wouldn't be going into something like this with anyone else."
He looked over at me, and I kept my gaze firm on him when he said, "Ok, I trust you, but I want to meet him the next time he is in town. If my baby girl is going to be giving this much of herself to someone, I have the right to know him. Understand?"
Smiling I said, "Absolutely."
"I was able to get a weekend pass so I'll be up there tomorrow afternoon, know of any place I can crash?" Edward said with a smirk in his voice.
Hmm.
Giggling I said, "I think I might. Rose is out of town with her mom this weekend and Em was talking about being lonely…you could probably bunk at his place. I'd sleep on the couch though, he's a snuggler."
He tried to sound angry but failed miserably and ended up saying, "I can't wait to see you. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can because the thought of not getting to hold you for months at a time is agonizing."
Don't cry.
Be strong.
Think of puppies and ice cream and…oooh! Naked Edward.
Ahhh, and I'm good.
"I can't wait to see you." I said while mentally removing everything he might be wearing. "Why don't I plan something for us to do? Ya know, something to get our minds off what's coming." Where the hell did that come from? All I really want to do is lounge around the house. Maybe that's what I'll plan for us to do. There are plenty of things we can do here at will take our minds off of Iceland…
"Really? You're going to plan a date? Babe, that sounds awesome!" He said, sounding happier than he had in a few days.
My big freaking mouth.
Trying to sound confident I jumped in, "Hell ya! I've already got a bunch of things in my head I've been thinking about doing when you're up here. It'll be awesome." Ok, maybe it would be awesome. I just want to see him. Damnit. I'm such a girl.
Lowering his voice to that sexy drawl I can't get enough of he said, "We need to make sure your computer's Skype is properly working, too. There's no way I can go months without looking into your eyes, baby. I need to see you."
Fuuuuuuuck.
I think I just moaned out loud.
And he's moaning, too…
"Shit, baby, your sounds drive me crazy." He said while trying to calm his breathing…which I could hear through the phone. It was making it impossible for me to relax, all I could picture was his face, right in front of mine, making those sounds.
Without thinking I quietly say, "I wish you were here with me so I could see your face while hearing you moan. I so desperately want to feel you surrounding me, holding me, while you finally make me yours."
My body has broken out into goosebumps, I'm breathing so hard that I almost didn't hear his responding groan.
"Holy FUCK, I want you so bad, baby. Taking you is the only thing that's been on my mind for weeks and, when I get home, I'm going to keep you in bed for days just to make sure you can feel me when I have to leave again." Talking a huge breath, he continues, "I'm going to take you slowly at first, working you up until you feel like you can't take anymore, then I'm going to turn you over and take you fast and hard until we both come so hard we can't see straight."
The panting couldn't be stopped if I tried. I'm burning with lust and I'm overwhelmed with the need to be with him, to touch him. "I need you so badly, Edward. I need you here with me and the thought of not being able to touch you for months at a time feels like I might stop breathing."
"I know, baby, I know. When they told me I thought I was going to come apart. I want you to come with me but I know we couldn't make that work right now. We will get through this and, when we do, I'm never leaving your side again."
"As much as I love hearing you say that, I know you can't make that promise. But, if you were here, I'd kiss you stupid because I know how much you mean that."
Getting off the phone is the last thing I want to do right now, but I need to get to bed if I'm going to make it to the office tomorrow.
"I miss you so much, but I need to get to sleep. Call me on your way home tomorrow? I've already cleared it with Eli, I'll be leaving the office early so I'll be here when you pull in" I tell him.
"Ok, Bell, I miss you, too and I'm going to drive as fast as I can, without getting pulled over, because the second I see you…you're mine. Night, baby."
He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he was gone. Leaving me to my thoughts…which would so be keeping me up tonight. Tomorrow…I would finally be his.
I can't wait.
See ya on the flip side!
