Author's Note: Sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. These past two months have been trying, between family issues, school, and work my stories had to take a back seat but no more. I have steadily been updating them. I should be updating once a week now. Anyway thanks so much for the love. It really helped me get back to the flow of things. So here is the next chapter. Hope you like it tell me what you think

Chapter 9

"You guys sure know how to make a scene", said Simon smirking.

My brother the comedian. Sandy stood next to him looking like she was going to give out a squeal in which she did. I could hear her running her mouth a mile a minute telling me how excited she was for me and Martin. Veronica I could tell was rolling her eyes at Sandy. Veronica always thought that Sandy was a little dazed and confused as Veronica put it.

"I love the girl, you know I do but can the girl act any more blond".

I laughed like crazy at that. Veronica rolled her eyes. She was good at doing that.

"So baby sis when is the wedding", asked Simon.

"Simon we just got engaged".

I say this while looking at Martin that is smiling down at me. Did I mention how much I love this man? He is a gift to me. There is nothing am more sure of. Umm maybe I could write a song about that. I wanted to go on tour. I know Veronica has been itching to go back on tour. The rush is still there so I am going to talk to Martin about setting up a national tour. I feel him kiss me forehead. I'm sitting in the wheelchair because I'm still not 100 percent yet but I'm getting there. I hope to be back to normal soon there. I hate been in this chair.

Did I mention that Martin and I have been living together in the apartment that he lived while being here in Glen Oak? I love that apartment so much, it feel like home to me.

"So Veronica and this new guy should we be worried?"

Martin looked at me when asking this. I smirk at this because he knows the new guy. Veronica has been dating Mac for the past two months. They met each other at one of our family dinners and clicked. Veronica laughed at this lame jokes and he understand her bluntness. They got along really well; I'm surprised that I never saw it before. If Veronica goes on tour I know that he would join her because his job allows him to do it all he needs is a computer. Mac owns some type of computer thing on the internet. He tried to explain it to me but frankly he just confused me more so I just tell him that he is a computer guy. He just laughs at me and tries to explain again but I ignore him. He could try his hardest and I still don't understand what in the world he is talking about.

"I know so, baby how do you really feel about everything?"

He asked me this looking nervous. What in the world does he have to be nervous about? Did he really think that I would come home and change my mind about marrying him? He is so adorable. I tell him this making him blush.

"Don't you know what you are to me Martin?"

"You are my soul".

He looks at me and I feel his kiss gently across me mouth. God I want him so badly. I want him to make love to me. I want him to take me. I tell him this and he asks me

"Are you sure?"

I tell him I have never been surer of anything in my life. I want to make love to this man like nothing else matters.

"Make love to me Martin".

I say this looking him in the eye. He swallows hard but I know that he has accepted. I don't know if Martin knows this or not but I'm a virgin. I have never given myself to anyone so I want to give myself to Martin. He is the only one that I would ever be in a sexual relationship with because frankly there is no one else for me. I feel his hands touch my shoulder and I shudder, not out of fear or anything like that but out of general want and need. He stops and I look at him and he says.

"I want this to be good for you".

I smile at him as he gathers up candles and lights them up around the room. I smile once more as he turns on the radio. Toni Braxton's sweet voice comes out of the studio. I begin to hum along. He bends down and cups me face. He slowly kisses me and I feel myself shudder once more.

First thing early Monday morning
I'm gonna pick my tears away
Got no cause to look back
I'm lookin' for me a better day
You see the thing 'bout love
Is that it's not enough
If the only thing it brings you is pain
There comes a time when we could all make a change

I look him in the eyes and push him back a little. I slow remove my shirt. I lift it above my head and let the material flow to the ground next to me. I groan out loud when his hot mouth kisses my neck then shoulder blades once more. I close my eyes and just feel. This is was how I imagined it to be. The candles lit, gave him a slight glow, like he was an angel. In fact he does look like an angel. All that is missing his halo and wings.

Just let go
and let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
everything's gonna work out right,
ya know
Let go, and let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let go

I feel him slowly remove my bra and I want to cover up but I hear his words.

"Don't hide from me. You are so beautiful Ruthie so beautiful".

I try not to cry at these words. It is so calm and he looks right at me when he says it. I feel his hands touching my back gently. I look up at him and pull him down and kiss him gently then I get more into it. I make love to his mouth. I wrap my arms his neck making him make me stand up. He holds my waist trying to keep me steady. I pull back and look him in the eye. I lean over and ask him to lie down on the bed. He smiles at me before doing as I say.

Don't nobody want no broken heart
And don't nobody want no two time losers
Ain't nobody gonna love you like you are
If you take whatever he brings your way
You see the thing of it
Is we deserve respect
But we can't demand respect without change
There comes a time when we must go our own way

I lie on top of him and kiss his neck, his nipple I gently suck and lick around the other one. He gasps and I feel his fingers through my hair. I love that. I can't tell you how much I love when he runs his fingers through my hair. It makes me feel safe. I gently remove the towel that was around his waist and almost gasp at the size of him. He looks at me and kisses me making me forget about that this might hurt.


Just let go
and let it glow, let it flow, let it flow
everything's gonna work out right,
Y'know
Let go, and let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let go

I don't know when it happened but I felt him enter my body. It did hurt I'm not going to lie but then I felt the most pleasure I have ever experienced in my life. He kissed my tears away and whispered so many beautiful things in my ear. I was truly making love to him. I could feel myself wrapping my legs, arms, and heart around this man. I could feel the little puffs of air that came out his mouth against my ear. I could feel his harder body against mine. I could feel him gently brushing my damp hair away from my face. I could feel Martin Brewer wrap his soul around mine. It's crazy but Martin, I could feel him. The pleasure got to be too much. I felt him convulse into my body and I shudder from pure ecstasy. I experienced and out of body feeling. I felt my soul and his soul bind. This was stronger then any marriage ceremony this was the joining of soul mates.

Sometimes love it can work out right
sometimes you'll never know
but if it brings only pain in your life
don't be afraid to let it go

I lay awake and look at him. He is sound asleep right now next to me. He doesn't know that I watch him sleep. Martin is at the most peace when he is sleeping. There are not stress lines or worry lines, just a man that I love sleeping contently. I brush the hair that he has chosen to let grow out of his face and kiss his forehead. "I love you". I whisper this to him but he seems to have heard me because he smiled in his sleep.

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"Damn girl you alright in there", asked Veronica.

I had been throwing up for the last three weeks it is driving me insane. I have a doctor's appointment today actually to see if anything is wrong. I'm worried though. What if it was something horrible like cancer. I did notice bruises on my arms. I went on the internet and that was one of the symptoms of cancer. I don't want to worry anyone but I'm scared.

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"Are you sure?".

I ask the doctor this again to make sure that I heard her right. I feel the tears come down my face. The doctor gives me a hug. I am trembling. I can't believe this is happening. I'm so young. I'm not ready for all that goes along with this. I'm just too young. I sobbed in the doctor's arms. I'm just so scared. Now how am I going to tell Martin. How am I going to tell Martin

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"Martin there is something I need to tell you".

I started practicing what I wanted to tell him since hearing the news. WE are on tour right now and this is so hard. I take a deep breath.

"Martin there is something I found out that you need to know about".

"I need to know what".

Shit he scared me. I hear him say he was sorry for scaring me but he asked me again what I had to tell him. I stand up look him in the face.

"Martin, I".

Then I felt the world spin. I feel the world tilt on its axis and I fall to the ground. All I hear is Martin screaming my name before everything turns dark.