Part VII
I canceled my classes that very same day. 'Something came up', I had said apologetically and explained some situation that I made up as I told it. I did not know that I was able to lie that well. Seth walked me back to my apartment and I invited him inside, hoping that either Hermione was there alone and not with Draco. Thankfully no one was home, which again made me feel kind of alone, but I did not mind since I had brought Seth up. I poured him a drink like the good host I was and we chatted briefly about something as unimportant as the weather, I believe. Then he suggested starting my lessons in Chinese since he had nothing else to do and he wanted to spend some more time with me, he said. We sat down on the floor behind the couch where we had more space and Seth asked me if I had some paper and a pen. Of course I did, I replied and hurried into my bedroom. I was very excited for this and I trusted Seth to teach me the correct things and not some bullshit.
I returned to the living area and handed Seth a few sheets of blank paper and a pen. I sat down opposite him and waited excitedly for my very first lesson.
"OK, first I am going to teach you the basic stuff," he said. "We'll start with introducing ourselves, OK?"
I nodded as he uttered the first few strange words. The evening went on with me trying to mimic those words and those sounds. It was very strange, but Seth said that I could pronounce it correctly once I knew the words. Eventually Hermione came home alone and raised her eyebrows when she spotted us sitting behind the couch. She did not question us and went over to the counter of the kitchen to grab a drink I think, for I only had eyes for Seth. Seth pronounced the words slowly and carefully and told me what to do to make it easier for myself.
"The real problem comes with writing Chinese," he had said. He scribbled something on a blank sheet of paper and showed it to me. "This says that my name is Seth."
My eyes widened at the strange characters I saw. It really was difficult! "I do not think I could write like that."
"Nonsense," Seth smiled. "I'll teach you that later. First, introduce yourself to me, please. Oh, and when you introduce yourself, you bow lightly to the person you're introducing yourself to with your hands at your sides, the women keep their hands in front of them when bowing. The deeper the bow, the more respect you show."
"Should I bow deeply to your parents?" I asked.
"They would appreciate that," Seth nodded. "My mother will most likely be flattered and my father would be temporarily impressed, especially if you got the pronunciation right. OK, let's try again, shall we?"
We practiced for a few hours more until Seth finally noticed the time (it was about ten o'clock) and said that he was going to head a floor lower to his apartment. He reminded me to pick him up at twelve thirty at room number three hundred and fifteen then he kissed me goodbye at the door. I sighed and shut it behind him and turned to Hermione, who did not bother to hide the fact that she did not mind watching two men kiss. I rolled my eyes slightly and sat down on the black sofa. "How was your night out?"
"Oh, it was fine," Hermione said and sat down next to me. "Why do you never come along?"
"I do not wish to impose on the two of you, besides; I am busy learning Chinese nowadays. Seth wants me to meet his parents, so I am going to prepare myself for that moment," I replied. "He is really quite a remarkable man."
Hermione nodded. "That he is," she said. "It's Draco's birthday tomorrow."
"Yes, I heard. I think a male stripper would be something he would remember for a long time." I chuckled and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, I am going to bed and prepare myself mentally for the movie I am to watch tomorrow at the activist meeting." I got up from the couch and made for the bathroom.
"OK, goodnight," Hermione said behind me.
"Goodnight," I said and went into my bedroom. For some kind of reason I felt a bit happy. I have never felt this good before. Perhaps I was finally getting over Draco and I think Seth and I could very well end up being a couple. Seth is patient and does not expect things from me. We have only kissed a few times and made out only once. It was thoughtful of him that he went this slow so I would not feel uncomfortable. Seth is a very sweet man and very understanding. For the first time in many months, I did not feel like harming myself and I believe that is because of Seth.
The following morning was the day of the activist meeting. I was nervous and I was worried that I would have the same reaction to the movie as I had when Draco told me about it. If that would happen, then I hoped that it would be Seth that helped me, and not Draco. That would not help me one bit. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, attempted to do my hair and decided that I would have a light lunch before picking Seth up and going to the meeting. It did not bother me that Draco was having lunch with Hermione at our apartment. I nodded at the both of them, muttered a happy birthday to Draco and made myself something easy. I did not feel like eating lunch at the moment, but I had to eat something and hoped I would not lose my meager lunch.
"How are things between you and Seth?" Draco asked.
"Just fine," I answered with a glance over my shoulder. "He is teaching me Chinese. That is sweet of him actually. I had planned to take classes, but he offered to teach me instead, so I canceled my evening classes. At what time are you going to the meeting?"
"In a few," Draco said. "After I've finished my coffee, then I'll be going. Do you know where the building is?"
"No," I said and shook my head. "But Seth does. I am picking him up at twelve thirty, which is in about ten minutes, so I am going to stuff this in my mouth and then I will be off." I finished making two sandwiches and took a bite. "Though I am not feeling up for any kind of food today, knowing what I am going to watch. Still … going there with an empty stomach does not really sound all that appealing to me either."
"I'll walk with you," Draco decided and downed the remains of his coffee. He put the mug on the counter and stood next to me with his arms crossed over his chest. I waved goodbye at Hermione and went for the door with my sandwiches in my hand. I was just finishing my second and last sandwich as I knocked lightly on the door of number three hundred and fifteen. Seth immediately answered and glanced at my half eaten sandwich in amusement.
"A kiss can wait," he said and came out into the hallway and locked his apartment door.
I nodded and stuffed the rest of the sandwich into my mouth. I noticed that things were a little bit tense between Draco and Seth, for reasons that were unknown to me. Did Seth still feel attracted to Draco? Draco thought so, but then again, perhaps Seth was not anymore, or never had been and Draco read his signals wrong. I shrugged to myself and followed the two men down the hallway. They were real men, I realized and I was just a boy who got to see the outside world for the first time. Draco had to duck his head when we went through the doorway at the end of the hall and down the stairs. It was kind of funny to see such a tall man trying to get through the doorway without hitting his head. When we were out of the building, Seth took my hand and laced our fingers together. He did not kiss me in front of Draco though, but that was alright. I would probably feel uncomfortable anyway. I dreaded the meeting a lot and I had no idea what to expect from it. I imagined the activists themselves with shirts on that said 'Stop Animal Abuse Now!' or some slogan like that. I imagined them to be fierce in their cause and do anything to stop an animal from suffering.
When I entered the room where the meeting was to be held, I saw that everyone looked like your average man or woman. They did not wear funny hats or weird shirts with even weirder texts on them. Seth took me to a table where a couple of young women sat. They looked like they also were in their twenties and the women all greeted Seth and Draco politely. Seth introduced me to the group―as his boyfriend. I was surprised at that, but I did not correct him even though I should have since we were not a couple officially. The women waved at me while I am sure that I was blushing. Draco sent me a questioning look, but I decided to ignore him. The blond man sat down opposite from Seth at the table and the chatter diminished when a figure stepped up on some kind of stage with a microphone in hand.
"Welcome to this meeting everyone," the woman said. "I have seen a few new faces here, and you're all welcome. As most of you know, our organization stops animal abuse in this country and in other countries. Sometimes we get animals into our custody because somebody can't take care of them anymore, sometimes they do it willingly, and other times we have to press the importance of the animal's health upon those people who neglect their animals. We sent out professionals to countries to retrieve animals that are mistreated, such as dancing bears or donkeys that collapse every ten seconds because of the huge amount of bricks that people strap onto them. They will recuperate in our shelter and we are going to try our hardest to find a new home for them. There are animals that will be harder to place in new homes because they could have been fighting dogs, which means they are too aggressive to place in a home with children. We are not going to euthanize those animals that are too aggressive because we wouldn't do that to an aggressive human being either. We wouldn't say; 'Gee, let's place fourteen year old Tyler, who has a record of extreme violence, on an electrical chair, shall we? We can't put him someplace else anyway'. We do not do that to humans, so we do not do that to animals either. Most of the animals are placed successfully with people who do care about them.
"Today's meeting is about the dolphin and whale slaughter in Japan. We're going to watch the documentary 'the Cove' which reveals the secret of the place Taiji. I'm not forcing you to watch this movie. I can tell you that it's not a beautiful documentary about the magnificence that are dolphins, but is it about the slaughter of them. If you cannot handle seeing the slaughtering of dolphins, I advise you to step out of the room once it gets too much for you. We once had a volunteer, a young woman of twenty-two, and she broke down and cried and vomited because she saw how young bear cubs got hit and pushed around and teased with food. She never came back and had to go to therapy to deal with her nightmares. I'll leave the door open for you to leave as quickly as you can and I'll come get you once it's over, OK?"
There were several murmurs of agreement and nods and I found myself nodding too. Then the light dimmed and a white screen came down from the ceiling. And then the movie started. It started with this dude who was in the television series 'Flipper' once and that he was the one that started the capture of cetaceans from their natural habitat to put them in tanks for people to look at. He said that ever since one of the Flipper dolphins had committed suicide in his arms that he thought differently about dolphins and whales and such and he wanted to rescue them instead of capture them. I was sad when I heard the story about that dolphin drowning herself. The poor animal looked dead unhappy.
The dolphin round-up in Taiji is horrible. Dolphins that are written off by the dolphin trainers are tied to a boat by their tails and dragged into a cove. I watched the water turn blood red, and my insides squirmed like mad. I looked away from the white screen while those animals got slaughtered. Unfortunately I looked up too early and saw the dolphin swimming towards a couple. I saw the poor animal drowning while trying to swim to the surface. It was horrifying. The dolphin tried reaching the couple but drowned because of its wounds that were equally as horrifying. I felt like crying, and I believe I was crying at the end of that scene. Seth wrapped his arm around me and comforted me. Draco looked very disturbed, but remained watching. I did not want to watch anymore. That look of that dolphin trying to breathe but eventually drowning would haunt me in my dreams for a long time, I feared. When the movie was over, I heard several sniffles all across the room. Most people were not better off than I was.
The rest of the meeting went by in a blur to me. I remembered Seth asking me if I was alright, but I told him that I just wanted to go home and have a cup of soothing tea. Seth walked me back to my apartment and made me a cup of tea. He sat down next to me on the couch as he put the cup with tea in front of me on the coffee table. "Thanks," I murmured.
"You're welcome," Seth said. "I hope you didn't mind about introducing you as my boyfriend? It was a slip of the tongue."
"Do you want me to be your boyfriend?" I asked and glanced sideways at him.
"I do," Seth nodded and took my left hand in his. "I would very much like you to be my boyfriend, Harry. I like you a lot and I still think you're very cute and I'm positive that my parents will love you. The question is what do you want?"
"I would like to be your boyfriend too. You are very sweet and romantic. I just do not know how long I will be staying in Manhattan. Sooner or later my parents are going to want me to come back and then what should I tell them? That I have a boyfriend and want to stay in Manhattan? Believe me, I want to tell them that, but you do not know them. They are very religious, they say everything that goes wrong is the Devil's work and I am free here. I never knew how much of a life one could have out here. I love my life here even if you are my only friend here. I can be free here and I want to stay free. I do not want to get caged like a bird again."
"Then tell them that," Seth said. "Be honest with them and don't let yourself get pushed back into the closet again."
I nodded and smiled at Seth. "I think I will call them tomorrow to let them know that I am fine and doing well. I think I will speak to them face to face about my wanting to stay here in New York."
"Are you OK after watching that movie?"
"Um … yeah, I will be fine. At what time are you going to Draco's birthday party?" I asked and reached for my cup of tea. It was still hot, but I blew on the hot liquid and took a small sip.
"Oh, I'll be going around seven thirty I think," Seth said. "We could resume our Chinese classes if you want."
"Yeah, that would be a good way to keep my mind off things," I said. He nodded in understanding and turned to me and picked up where he left off last night.
Around seven thirty in the evening, Seth left for Draco's birthday party and asked me one more time if I really would not join him. I declined and told him to have fun. It did enter my mind that he could very well be making out with random guys at this party, but I would not forbid him from doing something he liked or did not mind doing. That would be unfair to him. He wrote down some things that I could study, such as Chinese characters and how to write them in stroke order and what they meant. He had made a list for me before the meeting today, which I thought very nice of him. Were we a couple now, I wondered? I hoped so.
I went to bed early and lay wondering what I should tell my parents. No matter what I told them, they were going to be disappointed, that much I did know. Growing up like I did, I have a certain amount of respect for my parents, and I do not wish to hurt them, but I must also be truthful to myself. I cannot keep living in a lie like I had in Virginia. I want to be happy and I want to be myself instead of being who my parents want me to be, I realize that now and I am accepting that fact. I am a lot happier accepting who I am than living in denial back in Virginia. The church of the Holy Apostles taught me that God loves everyone, and being raised a Christian, I should have known that. Instead I was taught to dislike everyone who was different from me. I was tempted to call them and I found myself dialing our home number. Anxiously I waited until someone picked it up, preferably my mother. After three rings, it got finally picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi, mom," I said softly. She said nothing for about five seconds and then I realized that she put the phone on speaker so that my dad could listen in too.
"How are you, son?" my dad asked over the phone.
"I am fine. New York is nothing what I thought it would be like," I said. Damn it, I wanted to know why they taught me to fear myself. I was too curious and too angry over it to keep my mouth shut, and I knew that I probably should talk to them face to face about this, but I was finally speaking to them and I wanted to know now. "You know, I have found out some very interesting things while I am living here."
"You have?" my mom asked with a strange excited tone in her voice.
"Yes, I have," I snorted. "Thanks to your teachings while raising me, I have hated myself for a very long time and I really want to thank you for kicking me out. Coming to New York was the best thing I could have done. Church here is so much different, people are not taught to hate other people, but they are taught to spread God's love for everyone."
"Honey, they teach you the wrong things!" my mother suddenly said. "I don't know what you have done, son, but they will try to brainwash you with their teachings. Why do they teach you that at that … church? Do they accept that abominable folk? Good Lord, what is the world coming to?" she muttered.
"That abominable folk includes your son," I said angrily. "I have known that I am gay for a very long time, mother, since I was thirteen years old, as a matter of fact. But thanks to your 'beliefs' I began to hate myself because I was not normal. And New York has shown me that it is OK to be who you are, because no one here judges me for it. I can be myself here. I have met someone very nice and decent, and not at all like the whores dad always told me they looked like. Every gay man I have met so far looks just like your average straight man. And I am happy here. I am happy because I do not have to deny who I am any longer. These people here do accept me for who I am, and I am very sorry that you do not. I wanted to call you to let you know how I am, and I also wanted to tell you that I do not want to come home to Virginia. I am staying here."
"As if we would let you come back!" my dad yelled. "You're an abomination! You are not my son, my son is dead, and he was long dead before the Devil took him over!"
"James, calm down, the neighbors don't need to hear," mom said. "Honey, you won't be happy like this. Only a woman can bring love to a man's life."
"I have been happier here than I ever have been in Virginia back at home. You may be my mother, but you do not know how I think or what I feel. These feelings are not going to go away, mom. I cannot change who I am. I tried to change myself for over seven years and it only resulted in being deeply unhappy. And women do not bring love into my life, mom. The only thing that women will be bringing in my life is friendship. It feels wrong to me to be with a girl, OK? I love you both very much, but I will no longer give up my happiness to make you happy. Goodbye," I finished softly and disconnected. I did not have the heart to tell them that I had taken up on cutting myself during those unhappy years. I still did not know what being happy truly felt like. Did it feel like the butterflies I felt whenever Seth smiled at me in a particular way, or when we kissed? Or the way my heart would beat faster whenever Draco looked at me? Ugh, not Draco again.
I groaned and flopped down onto the mattress. I had been right before, I realized. Draco did not mention his birthday party to me, even though he had many chances to do so, so I had been right and Draco did not want me present. My chest tightened at that with perhaps disappointment or hurt. Well, what did I expect? We went off on the wrong foot, tried to get along, but he still does not like me. And it does not really matter that he dislikes me, I guess it just hurts more because I have feelings for him―that are slowly going away, mind you. Even if I was myself, people still did not like me. Ah, it was impossible to please the entire world, I knew that, but I could still make an effort to be likable, could I not? At least Seth liked me. He seemed to be the only one who did around here. I fell asleep with troubled thoughts about the conversation I had with my parents.
I woke up about two or three times during the night and I thought I heard Hermione come back to the apartment, laughing rather drunkenly. I believe she brought a guy and I really did not want to know or hear what the two of them were going to do, so I went back to sleep undisturbed. I woke up at about eight in the morning and checked my cell phone. I had three missed calls from Seth. I would call him later today, I figured. It was Sunday, a day when I usually go to church, but I did not have it in me today to go. I did not feel like it.
At eleven in the morning, I decided to give Seth a call, hoping I would not wake him. After four rings, someone picked up the phone, only it was not Seth. I could not recognize this man's voice, but it unnerved me that he picked up Seth's cell phone. What was this man doing at Seth's place at eleven in the morning? Was he someone that Seth had met at Draco's birthday party? Was he someone that Seth had slept with? But what about what Seth told me about lovemaking? Did he not say that he only wanted to do that with his boyfriend because it meant more like that? Was this man an exception then?
"Hello?"
I was quiet for a few seconds before I found my voice again. "Er … g-good morning. I am calling to speak to Seth. Is he awake yet?"
"Um … no he's still asleep. Can I give him a message?"
"Oh, no that is quite alright. I will speak to him some other time. Have a good day," I said and pressed the red button on my phone. I exhaled slowly, wondering who that man was. I would ask Seth when I could get a hold of him. Then that thought made me pause. Would Seth find me possessive if I asked him who that man was that answered his phone? What right did I have anyway? If Seth thought that I should know then he would tell me, I decided. I heard pained groans coming from Hermione's bedroom and decided I would make her some coffee too, like she often did for me. She came out of her bedroom about ten minutes after I had gotten myself a mug of coffee. She looked like she had had a rough night, and I knew why when I saw a man following her. He had red hair and was tall and lanky, though not as tall as Draco was because he probably was indeed Manhattan's tallest man. The man had a lot of freckles on his face and he reminded me a little of Draco's roommate. He nodded at me and flopped down on one of the chairs at the dining table. The man groaned and put his head in his hands. "Would you like some coffee?" I asked the man.
"Please," he groaned.
I raised my eyebrows, poured Hermione a mug of coffee, got rid of the remains and made a fresh pot of coffee for Hermione's 'friend'. "Say, Hermione," I said when she approached the counter to take her mug of coffee. "Who is that guy?" I whispered.
"No one," Hermione said and sat down next to her friend.
I felt like I was looking at something forbidden. There was a certain amount of tension coming off of Hermione while this man was sobering up. I was guessing that something had happened between the two of them and obviously Hermione had regretted her night with this man. I shrugged and sipped from my own mug. I finished my coffee and left the two on their own to sober up. I decided to head a floor down to Seth's apartment for a drink and then I could ask him who the dude was that picked up his cell phone. I freshened myself up and made for the agonizing slow walk to Seth's apartment. I knocked on his door and waited anxiously for a minute. It was nearing twelve o'clock, so the chances were smaller that Seth was still asleep. No one answered the door, so I tried the doorknob and with luck the door unlocked. I suppose Seth was either too drunk or too busy to lock the door last night. Well, I did not really want to think about what Seth did or could have done when drunk. "Hello?" I called. There was no one in the living area, so I tried the first bedroom, which was empty. I suppose that was his roommate's bedroom. Then I tried the second one and slowly opened the door. The room was dark, but the sunlight came in from the window and I saw Seth lying in bed still asleep with another man lying next to him, who had his arm wrapped around Seth's waist on top of the sheet. I was so stunned that I could not move for a second. I slowly closed the door to his bedroom and left his apartment quietly.
I guess I had figured out what the dude was doing there and why he answered the phone instead of Seth. I needed to stay away from the apartment building for a while, so I took a cab to Central Park. I walked through the young green grass and sat down under a tree that was barely in full bloom. The leaves were beautifully green and full and in a few months the leaves would look dead on the ground. I slowly exhaled to release the pressure on my chest a little. Seth was not even my boyfriend for a day and already it had gone wrong. I suppose two men really cannot stay faithful to one another. Who was that guy? I had not seen him before, I was sure of that, so it must be someone that Seth picked up at Draco's birthday party. I wondered how the party went. Did Draco like the male stripper? What did a strip show look like? Did the guy get naked? Did Seth sleep with that man? I suppose Seth got tired of waiting or he was just waiting until something better came along.
I chuckled bitterly. I was just never good enough for anybody. I mean I tried my hardest, but no one bothered to hang out with me or talked to me. Maybe Seth decided to get close to me because he thought I was an easy lay. An easy lay … Well, I was not an easy lay and once Seth realized that he picked someone up to find release at last. I do these kinds of things often; I speculate a lot and often it brings more trouble than good. As you have probably noticed, I do not have the best self-esteem, but what else am I supposed to think? Seth tried to get closer to me for weeks and anyone with a good set of eyes would immediately do what Seth asked of you, well, except for me then. I guess Seth got tired of it. So what should I do? Break our wonderfully long and committed (cough) relationship? Should I keep my mouth shut? But then Seth would think that I did not mind Seth sleeping around, which is absolutely not the case.
"Harry? What are you doing here?" a voice said in front of me. There stood Draco, looking way too good and handsome after spending such a night on his twenty-seventh birthday.
"Oh, hey," I said. "How was your party?"
"It was fun," he said. "Why weren't you there?"
I raised an eyebrow, wondering if he really had to ask. "I was not invited."
"I thought Seth would ask you?" Draco said and frowned. "I assumed that Seth would ask you along."
"He did ask me," I said. "I said that I was not invited and I did not want to ruin your birthday …"
Draco approached me and sat down next to me on the grass against the tree. "You wouldn't have ruined my birthday party," he shrugged.
I looked down at my lap and shrugged as well. "How was the stripper?"
Draco snorted and chuckled. "It was … how should I say this? He definitely knew what he was doing and what would arouse a man, let's put it that way. Hermione filmed it, the little voyeur. If you want to watch it, ask her for the camera. Don't tell Hermione this, but he actually got me hard, and he knew it. He threw me a wink before he removed his tight ass from my crotch, but damn it was hot. I really needed that after my break up with my ex. Excuse me for the language."
"That is OK," I said. "I have gotten more used to it, so you are free to swear however much you want, within certain bounds of course."
"Of course."
I sighed and wondered why I even wanted to talk to Draco about what I had seen. I suppose I just wanted to talk to someone about it purely for the sake of getting it out. "I had three missed calls from Seth," I murmured. "I called him back, but someone else picked up the phone. I wondered who the guy was and why Seth could not be bothered to pick it up, so then I went to his apartment, but no one answered when I knocked on the door, so I turned the knob and entered Seth's apartment. I found him still asleep with some other guy in his bed. So I came here … to think, I think," I said.
"Just because you found them asleep in bed together, that doesn't mean that they had sex," Draco said. "I think you should ask Seth what the guy was doing there. Seth is an honest guy; he won't lie to you to make himself look better and he's not the type to cheat on his boyfriend. I've known Seth for a while and I know that he wouldn't intentionally hurt your feelings."
I sighed and glanced at him. "Are you very hurt about what your ex did?"
Draco closed his eyes and smiled briefly. "Yes, I am still very hurt by what he did. I loved him a lot and I loved being with him. We lived together in a house and I wanted to share the rest of my life with him and be with him 'till I grew old and die. It didn't matter to me that he was bi, but it did matter when he told me that he had sex twice with a woman whom I went to school with. I believe they are together now, but I don't see him or speak to him. He left Manhattan when I threw him out and I suppose he lives with her now back in Boston," he shrugged. "I try to get my life back on track and I try to move on. But it's difficult; I really thought that he was the one, the love of my life and he cheated on me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think 'Was it me? Did I do something to drive him away?' but then I remind myself that it was his fault, and not mine. I'll get over it sometime."
I felt angry at Draco's ex for hurting him like that. When I heard Draco speak of his ex, he did not sound at all indifferent and cold as I initially thought him to be. "I am sorry."
"You know, it sucks. When you grow up you expect to meet someone and be with them until the end of time, and you don't realize as a kid how difficult life is once you're an adult. You have to face problems, prejudice in some cases and you never really experience a happily ever after. You only experience a happily ever after when you've gone through enough shit to fill up your emotional baggage. It's the way things go nowadays. Nothing goes easy; everything goes with a shitload of pain and suffering. It does make one stronger and bitter and then you'll most likely never be in another relationship again because who wants to be with a bitter and indifferent person? It would be hell on your own self-esteem when your partner screams his frustrations at you, and in the end you'll end up leaving your partner. It's a never ending cycle really. You could be together with someone for like, fourteen years and then suddenly you get problems in your relationship and you end up breaking it off and then what? In short, life just really sucks. Why are we alive? Why do we have to face so much shit? It's kind of depressing," he said thoughtfully.
"I have never really heard you speak like that before," I said. "Not even when you lectured me when we first met."
Draco chuckled and looked down at me. "So why aren't you in church? Decided that you didn't feel like going anymore? Isn't getting boring to hear all those stories about God and Jesus over and over again? Why do you believe actually? Why do you believe in something that can't be proven?"
"I do not know … I just believe. I believe that there is a God looking down at us," I said. "He probably would not be happy seeing what goes on around Earth. I spoke with my mom and dad yesterday evening. I called them."
"What did they say?"
"Well, my mom is glad that everything is OK with me, and eh … I told her that I want to stay here in Manhattan and that I do not want to go back to Virginia. I want to be free, and I want to live my life the way I want to, and not the way my parents tell me to live it."
"I'm glad you're using your brains," he snorted.
"Oh, shut up," I chuckled and slapped him lightly across his arm. "OK, you were right. Is that what you want to hear?"
"I didn't say anything, did I?"
I looked into his eyes, which were surprisingly light and beautiful. Why had I never noticed that before? I suddenly became aware that I was staring at him, never mind the fact that he was staring back at me. I felt my heart beating wildly in my chest. He just looked so beautiful; his eyes glowed, his hair seemed lighter, there was a soft breeze and … he just looked gorgeous and in that moment I would not have protested if he pulled my clothes off and spread my legs wide. All those feelings that I wished were gone all came back and hit me like a ton of bricks. It felt like I had walked into an invisible glass door; I felt light in my head and the sight of Draco took my breath away.
"You should call Seth," Draco said softly to me.
"Hmm," I nodded and glanced at a pair very kissable looking lips. He had perfectly shaped lips that were not too full and not to thin either. I wondered how they would feel on my own lips. How would his tongue feel in my mouth? That thought caused my chest to tighten. Oh man, I had it bad for this guy, I realized.
