"Final's week is coming up." She tells Pakkun as they walk aimlessly instead of going home. It's an avoidance tactic so obvious that she's almost surprised Pakkun hasn't called her on it. Normally Pakkun isn't all that patient with the decisions she makes that he doesn't agree with.
The thing is that Kakashi's friends are still there and she has been making herself scarce. It's not a solution but the only way she knows to fix things is not a good option. This is a band-aid solution. She doesn't want to be a point of confrontation between Kakashi and his team, however. So she avoids going back, makes herself scarce in the name of peace and harmony.
Alex still goes home every night in time for bed, still rolls her eyes at Kakashi every night after finding him in her bed. Still cuddles with him still lazes around in bed every morning she possibly can. She has just made herself scarce otherwise, the purple-haired woman Alex could have handled. It was like having a louder Daniela around.
Although, as much as Alex loves her sister, it had been a while since she had welcomed Daniela's presence for longer than necessary. It was part of the reason why she had dropped everything, even if it left her with student loans she was struggling to pay, and gone all the way to another continent to finish her studies.
Still, this Anko lady Alex could have handled. Not happily but she would have done it. It's not like Alex doesn't have experience handling that personality type, the demanding and somewhat bullying nature of every interaction. Or the barely hidden emotional manipulation. It helps that Alex is not invested on the woman beside what she means to Kakashi.
The tension around the apartment, the way it felt as though any moment things will go to shit, on the other hand, that she could not handle. She feels like she's walking on eggshells. She's been so tense that her body hurts. She had never wanted to be in a situation like this again and she can't help the helpless frustration that comes with it.
She had thought she had left that back in Ecuador. And as much as she missed her family fiercely, that was the reason she mostly avoided every opportunity to go back unless her younger cousins were involved. She loves those children and part of her is hurt by the fact she meets them so little that it is likely they wouldn't remember her.
She still doesn't miss them enough to sacrifice her emotional health for it and yet she ends up sacrificing it anyway. She feels like she's going to start having flashbacks for the stupidest of reasons. She adores Kakashi, really, he's like the friend she hadn't ever known she needed but sometimes it's just too much.
Still, the tension around the place had her feet slowing every time she forced herself to go back. Pakkun and Bull are a blessing, really. Pakkun's sarcastic comments are the highlight of her days. His wit is merciless. And Bull's presence is steady and so very calming.
They were wonderful company and never let her get away with dumb things. Alex feels a little guilty every time she comes back, too. Kakashi has been getting increasingly clingy and she knows that it is on her. Kakashi is afraid of losing her, she knows. She had not understood all that he rambled about but she understands the man had lost too much.
She hates how worried he is getting. It's been increasingly stressful for him and she does feel so very guilty about it but she couldn't handle the apartment in large doses. For the sake of her own sanity. As sad as that sounds, she knows her own limits and has no desire to push them right now. She needs to worry about herself too.
Which is why she's been making an effort to stay with him on her bedroom for as long as they could, why she has made sure to always cook for him so he knew she very much still cares for him. Why she brings him little things she has found on her day that reminded her of him. It still made him worried, though, that she was out for so long.
And now finals week is coming and she knows this conversation isn't going to be nice, isn't going to be a happy one. Kakashi is going to freak out but she needs to study and to be frank, she's a little relieved to have a genuine reason to be out of the apartment for long periods of time.
Her apartment feels invaded now and she can't help but resent that. It's a mess but she knows Kakashi needs to deal with this. They are Kakashi's team and she will never get in the way of that. It still is a mess, though. Still very much an annoyance she can't get rid off.
Kakashi is still a mystery to her. He's a good friend, one of the people she cares about and that isn't changing any time soon. But Kakashi has a nose unlike anyone else she ever met before, Kakashi can summon dogs from who knows where.
It makes no sense, a part of her feels like she's part of a Marvel comic book now. It makes her restless. She can't ask questions, though. He has nervous breakdowns, it makes her feel terrible afterwards and she still gets no answers.
It makes her worried because she has no idea what she's in for and she has a bodyguard detail in the form of two of Kakashi's dogs. How is she supposed to know what to protect herself against if she knows nothing of the situation?
The team is hunting someone, she knows. Not who or why, that Kakashi is tight-lipped about. That someone is dangerous, she knows. How she knows not. It stresses her out, it forces her back to the gym more often than not.
Her knuckles are split open more often than not this days, for using the punching-bags too often and for too long. She doesn't overly mind but Kakashi had almost pulled out the bubble-wrap the first time he had smelled blood on her. It's a mess, a confusing one. She's not sure what to do. These thoughts keep circling around on her mind, it's very distracting and now finals week is coming up. She'll need all the concentration she can get.
Normally, she would study on the library so that the temptation of her own bed would be distant but dogs are not allowed there and she had promised Kakashi that she'll bring Bull and Pakkun everywhere. She can't study in her apartment either, there are too many people there. Too much noise and stress, she won't be able to concentrate. That leaves either some friend's apartment or the cafeteria.
Going to a friend will require that she answer questions sooner or later, though. They'll want to know why she's avoiding her own apartment and what is she supposed to say? How is she meant to answer?
That only leaves the cafeteria and that is just a mess, Kakashi won't be happy. There are no other options, though. It startles her when Pakkun pulls on her hoodie, she had been so lost inside her mind she hadn't even realized she had made it back to the apartment already.
Alex sighs but obediently pulls out her keys so they can make their way inside. She finds them around her table, looking at a map and doesn't even bother to pretend she's pleased to see them.
Kakashi stands to greet her and she allows herself to be pulled into a hug, she pulls herself up on her toes so she can kiss his cheek. Alex allows herself to melt into it, her body is way too tense and the little streak of blood on his skin make her realize her knuckles are bleeding again.
Kakashi twitches but doesn't comment and she's grateful for it right up until Anko opens her mouth. "Get a room, would ya?"
Alex struggles with the anger inside her but she pushes it down. She's had practice with this long before she moved, anyway.
Control is an important thing to have and she refuses to lose it over a woman who behaves like a brat. She ignores the quiet noises the men make as they try to reign in the woman, try to keep the peace. Her body tenses back up anyway, she knows Kakashi can feel it by the sigh he muffles against her neck. It's a mess, this whole thing is a mess.
He lets her go when she pulls back, anyway. She would like to have something reassuring to tell him but she doesn't know how to even start so she smiles as best she can and makes her way to the bathroom. A shower will hurt nothing and after that, she'll start her study routine. She already planned it out on the gym.
She'll have to clear her desk because she rarely used it in the past, other than to lay down her stuff but it will get used tonight. Alex will just throw herself to her duties and with any luck by the time she resurfaces Kakashi's team will no longer be necessary on the apartment. She doubts it but she can hope. It's free after all. She's been studying for an hour when it occurs to her that she hadn't heard a peep from Kakashi's team.
Maybe she doesn't need the cafeteria, after all, she'll just barricade herself in her room and get everything she can do in it. Not the happiest move but it'll get rid of her impending fight with Kakashi so she'll make do. Alex is still studying when Kakashi comes into the room, she tilts her head up for the kiss he plants on her forehead and mumbles goodnight at him when he gets into the bed. She doesn't go to sleep that night.
Kakashi is worried and he knows it. Bull and Pakkun are as well, he knows. Alex rarely comes out of her room now, she spends most of her time studying. When Kakashi asks, she says she has finals coming up. She needs to study to get good grades. But she had been spending less and less time around her apartment before, spending as much time on the gym as she could.
There's always the scent of blood on her now. Kakashi is not sure what to do. He tries to keep her closer to him and she had indulged him on the most part when they were alone but getting her to come back had been increasingly difficult. Now Kakashi can barely get her to put down her books.
He doesn't understand what his team's problem is or why they're allowing it to influence the mission. Anko he understands. The woman is a good ninja, that much is undeniable, but not a professional one. Anko has always been too reckless, too impulsive.
Kakashi has maybe been too lenient but he had though Asuma and Genma would have reigned her in. That is how this team has worked on the few occasions they have been put together for a mission. It worries him and it's starting to turn into anger.
Alex has immersed herself on her studies and rarely surfaces. She still makes time for him, in private when they're in her room, but getting her to leave it for anything other than college has become increasingly difficult.
She sleeps very little and most times out of sheer exhaustion on her own desk. How is Kakashi meant to fix things, he doesn't know. A week has gone on like this. Alex comes back home from college with so many books with her that she has Bull pulling some on a small wagon. It would be funny if it wasn't so worrying.
There's an almost blank look on her face as she turns to look at his team before her gaze settles on him and she makes her way to him. Kakashi pulls her to him so he can greet her properly and Alex melts into him. And then, like clockwork, Anko makes a snippy comment. Genma and Asuma move quickly to try to avert any future problems but it's already too late. Alex has already tensed up again and Kakashi still doesn't know how to fix this.
He turns to watch Alex as she closes her eyes and her lips tighten as she does her best to reign the anger he can feel resting under her skin. Except instead of ignoring his team this time, she opens her eyes and stares unblinkingly at Anko. Kakashi is not sure about what to do.
Kakashi can feel Anko's smugness and a big part of him is done with her shit. Kakashi had been too lenient. He doesn't feel like being nice anymore. He doesn't get to say anything, though.
Alex speaks first. "I'm done."
And Kakashi can feel the fear that suddenly grips him because he knew he'll lose her sometime but he had never imagined he'll lose her due to his team's actions instead of his own. But Alex hasn't pulled back from him just yet. She's tense but she's still next to him.
She's only staring at Anko and speaking in that calm composed tone of hers that Kakashi has learned it means she's thinking very carefully in how and what she will say. Genma and Asuma manage to keep Anko quiet but Alex keeps speaking after a brief pause.
"You're Kakashi's team and for him, I have endured you in my home but I will not deal with this anymore. Whatever your problem is, it is your own and I care little to nothing for it. Do not use me as an outlet for your own problems, I have nothing to do with them and frankly speaking, I do not give a damn." Her tone did not change yet somehow it felt like it was getting colder and colder.
"You will take your things and be gone from my apartment by the time night comes.". She turns to him and Kakashi feels the kiss on his forehead.
He still doesn't move because a part of him feels like begging her not to make him leave and another feels like killing Anko on the spot.
He does neither.
She sighs when she looks at him, and one of her hands drops to his cheek. "We'll watch a show tonight, ok? After they're gone."
And just like that, Kakashi feels like he can breathe again. She's throwing them out, not him. He's still welcome and that's enough to calm his fear but not his anger because she should not look this tired, this done with his own team's shit. They're all silent as they watch her leave for her room.
"Captain, you won't let her throw us out, right?" Anko asks him.
He notices with a start that this is what Anko has been trying to do all along with her emotional manipulation tactics. The realization makes him feel cold inside.
She wanted to put Alex in such a position that she would be forced to put Kakashi in a situation where he would have to choose between his team and Alex. Anko is so sure that she'll pick them, too. Why wouldn't she? Kakashi has never made it a secret that he'll pick his teammate's over his missions every time.
Alex had made her feel insecure, for some reason, and Anko had done what she thought would get rid of the brunette. Except that Kakashi had always thought his comrades had his back as much as he has theirs and now he can't help but feel angry and betrayed.
They might not understand why but they have to know that Alex is important to him and instead of respecting that Anko has done all she can to get rid of her and Genma and Asuma barely tried to stop her. Kakashi is not sure how to process that.
He doesn't know their reasons and he's not feeling calm enough to hear them, either. So he just stands up and quelches the desire to hurt them when he sees Anko's eyes light up with the imagined victory.
"Leave." Kakashi can see the surprise in them as he turns to follow Alex back to her room.
He finds her sitting on her bed, hands covering her face and Kakashi moves to sit behind her and pull her to him. He has given up pretty much everything for the village. He has bled and cried but kept going anyway. This he refuses to give up.
She startles and Kakashi realizes for the first time that Alex had been scared of him leaving too. It surprises him. Maybe it shouldn't but it does. It makes him feel a little more settled too. It's proof that he's wanted and not only tolerated.
He has been so sure that she will get tired of him or disappointed in him sooner or later, it had never occurred to him that she might be scared of him leaving as well. So he pulls her to him and they hold each other like that for a bit, both more than a little full of too much adrenaline to sleep.
She turns to cling to him, her face on his chest and Kakashi tightens his hold when he smells the salt of her tears. There's still anger in him but this is not the moment to let it lose. Alex doesn't need that, the mission doesn't need it either. Kakashi will push it down and deal with it when he can.
Asuma sighs as they all sit frozen where they are. He saw this coming, he really did. Anko had refused to listen, though. She had been so sure that Kakashi will get rid of Alexandra as soon as the woman turned on them but Asuma had seen the worry on him as soon as the brunette started pulling back.
Kakashi has been going out of his way to keep the woman safe, Asuma had known Kakashi would notice the manipulation and react accordingly. Anko would not listen to reason, though. It's difficult to get Anko to change her mind once she's fixated on something.
Genma and he himself had been so done with it that they hadn't wanted to get involved, they had interfered as little as possible. They have just been going through the motions. Going by Genma's grimace, his friend was regretting it as much as he did now.
Anko looked stricken and to be quite frank, Asuma did not feel like consoling her even when normally he would have. This was going to be a mess but a mission was not the right set-up for personal problems to be dealt with. The report on this was going to be hell to write.
They'd have to control Anko's temper so that things could be completed on an acceptable basis. They could deal with the emotional fall-out once they were back at the village. He had a feeling Kakashi wouldn't really want to listen, anyway. Not right now at least.
With any luck that would change as time went on. It is better to give the man some space. The woman too, for that matter. Kakashi would not be forgiving if they went to her behind his back. He doubted that she would be welcoming to any of them any time soon anyway. What a mess.
