A.N./ Slight warning for some sexuality in this chapter. Though this fic is rated "M"...
I've decided to split this chapter into two parts because it was just becoming way too long. So, in advance, I apologize for the evil cliffhanger.
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
8. Nightmare
The sun was sinking rapidly below the horizon, a burnished gold that was slowly morphing into glowing orange. I had been forced to slow down nearly an hour ago, this new body tired and aching in places that I didn't even possess as a human. By now, I was seriously considering stopping. There was no indication that anyone was still following me, no strange scents on the air (and I had made sure that I was downwind), no sounds of pursuit.
Sam's voice never reappeared in my head, and I could only assume that he was either dead, had decided not to bother, or the "mental link" had a range on it. Of course, he could be high-tailing it up to Seattle by now and keeping the link closed because he didn't want me to find out... The dread had been with me ever since feeling such strong emotion form his end had caused me to momentarily slip up and allow him into my mind. At the time, I thought he was being attacked or something, but it had occurred to me that he could have been faking, trying to shake me into breaking the barrier of concentration I had built and let him in. I was entirely new to this whole shape-shifter thing; I had no idea about the whole "mind-share" until today, anything could have been possible. I wasn't even sure if I was successful at keeping him out in the first place.
I had run through some kind of shallow lake a while back, which was large enough to be a hassle to circle around and easy enough to just cross over, and now I was feeling the consequences. It was fall in Washington, and while not freezing, exactly, it was still somewhere less than fifty degrees outside. The constant wind buffeting my body did nothing to help that, and neither did being soaking wet. I could feel myself shivering through each step. I was cold, extremely tired, sore, and incredibly hungry. Running non-stop not only burned a lot of energy, it also reminded me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning...right before I left for the beach with Angela, and Jessica, and Mike...
God, this was just the longest day in history, wasn't it? So much had happened, and it still wasn't over. I didn't think I possessed the energy right now to go on, and it felt like a miracle for me to just be walking.
I was so lost in thought that it took me several moments before I recognized the barrage of new smells that arrived with another gust of wind. I felt a little hope stirring in my chest, along with relief. The familiar aromatic mix of fresh, hot food, people, smoke from fireplaces and tire rubber told me that a town was likely only a few miles away. Ideally, I would be able to call Jasper and maybe even catch a bite to eat.
I bounded closer to what appeared to be the town's limits, spurred on by renewed hope, and stopped in a small cluster of trees on the crest of a small hill, looking down on the city below. Okay, maybe calling it a "city" was a bit much. The small road that dwindled away from the woods and brought stronger smells had a small green sign that caught my eye. "Quilcene: Population 591." And I thought Forks was small. From what I could see, there was only a small collection of Mom-and-Pop store fronts and small grouping of average-sized houses, a few unadorned buildings scattered here and there. No less than a hundred feet in front of me, some people were milling about in the inviting glow of soft lighting from what appeared to be a restaurant, laughing and chatting in the quiet atmosphere. It boggled my mind to see something so normal, but it brought me to the realization that despite what had just happened to me, people were going on with their lives, completely ignorant. The world still turned. People still woke up in the morning and went about their daily routines, going to school or to work, oblivious to the fact that there were people like me and the Cullens in the world. A girl who could change into a giant wolf at will and blood-sucking vampires.
I used to be one of them. Not two days ago, the biggest problem in my life was finding out that my biological father wasn't the person who I grew up calling "Dad." It seemed so silly, so petty, that I hadn't immediately forgiven Mom now. I was on the run for my life, for probably the rest of my life. I was never going to see her again. And she was probably sitting somewhere with the guilt of what she had done nearly twenty years ago instead of remembering me telling her "I love you." I should have made it clear. I don't know if she'll ever realize that even despite what she did, that I never stopped loving her.
The pain of my situation caught up to me, and suddenly I was wishing, not for the first time but for entirely different reasons, that this had never happened to me. If I wasn't Billy Black's daughter, would I ever have this power? It was so ironic that it made me want to laugh, then cry.
But I had to focus on the matter at hand. I was a monstrous wolf, hovering on the edge of civilization. I had no idea what the townspeople would do if confronted with me in this state, and I didn't want to find out now. Hunting wasn't an uncommon practice out here when people were surrounded with various wildlife. I would bet my left paw that at least one person here owned a shotgun, and wouldn't hesitate to use it against me. I wasn't particularly in the mood to feel the bite of a bullet on top of everything else, either.
I had to shift back. But how? I'd only ever seen others do it...and none of the Cullens could help me out in this situation, even if they were here.
Then I started panicking. I had no idea how to phase out of this form. What if I was trapped? What if I had to spend eternity as a wolf? And not even a normal wolf, either. Though I had a slight chance of hiding what I was in human form, even possibly able to blend into the crowd of normal society, it would be obvious to any vampires or shapeshifters exactly what I was in this form. And then it would only be a matter of time before they realized that I was in possession of a perfectly functioning pair of ovaries, too, and then it would be eternity trapped in a wolf body while in the custody of a bunch of militaristic assholes. Was it even possible to conceive in this body?
...The mental imagery that assaulted my mind after that thought as well as the bile in my throat made me resolve to never find out.
I tried to slow the buzz of my thoughts, focusing on attempting to shift back to my normal form. I shut out any extraneous thoughts and stray emotions and conjured an image of the human body: two legs, two arms, standing upright, feet with five toes, opposable thumbs. Almost at once, a responding thrum of energy was coaxed from my body, light at first, but steadily becoming stronger and more violent until it felt as though every inch of muscle was twitching. It was a slow build up of the same energy that had seized me when I jumped off of the overpass, but then it had been pure instinct. I was nearing the edge of transformation, I could feel it. Just a little more...
Come on, Leah... Let's see, small nose, wide eyes, circular ears on either side of the head...
But although I had the picture of human anatomy firmly in my mind, somehow it wasn't enough. I was still on all fours nearly ten minutes later, preparing for a change that wasn't happening. I closed my eyes and felt the wolf's broad forehead knitting at the force of my concentration. I could feel my head start to throb, my brain splitting in pain with the mother of all headaches. Why did being a shapeshifter have to come with so much pain, on top of the super-exciting prospect of being a broodmother for life? Wasn't that just a little overkill? Ugh, the sarcasm was just effective in draining more energy from my already weakened body.
And then it clicked. Instead of imagining a generic human form, I imagined my own body, my near-black eyes, dark skin, and roughly cut, thick black hair. The way my figure had recently changed into something leaner, more muscular while gaining something extra in the breast-and-hips department, thanks to the most recent growth spurt I was sure had something to do with the shapeshifter activation. I imagined my angular face, the scar that I had on my knee from a really bad road burn from when I was six years old, the mole under my left eye, the way my smile pulled up farther on the right side than the left...
My shivering turned to outright uncontrollable wracking, and within seconds I was thrashing on the ground without really remembering how I fell, feeling myself stretch and bend and shake and I was once again overwrought with pain, so much pain, like bones and tendons and ligaments stretching and compressing and being crushed—
And then it was over. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking in slight confusion. I was huddled in the fetal position on a bed of moss and dead leaves, completely naked.
Well, that shot my plan completely to hell. I was even more apprehensive of walking into that town in the buff than I was as a hulking wolf. My modesty happened to be a crippling disability, something that I never thought I'd think in my life.
I laid on the ground for a few seconds, thinking hard. It would have been nice if I could have at least had something like a sports bra and some shorts to be left with. Or even just my underwear, I wasn't exactly picky at the moment as long I wasn't NAKED. I was not about to jump into a public place, completely starkers. No. Way.
I pulled myself into a seating position, folding my legs against my chest for some semblance of decency and noting with some distaste that I now had dirt all over my skin. Great.
What next?
Well, I could wait here for somebody to find me, whether that "somebody" ended up being one of the Cullens or one of the wolves. If a wolf were to show up here, honestly, I would not be able to make that run. At this point, I was utterly exhausted. Muscles I didn't even know I had felt like they were put through a meat tenderizer. Shifting itself took so much out of me, and with my body in this battered state, I wasn't exactly looking forward to suffering through instantaneous bone growth anytime soon. Tired, hungry, naked and in pain, there wasn't much I could do about running away.
I had no cellphone or money on me. I couldn't even call Jasper. I halfheartedly glanced around the area I was in. It was rapidly becoming darker outside, which meant that the already-limited amount of sunlight filtering through the treetops was dim and nothing useful in the near vicinity leaped out at me like I hoped it would. Just a bunch of tall trees with thick trunks, leafy undergrowth, and mossy rocks. A chilly breeze was also picking up, which caused the hair on my body to stand on end. It was going to be cold tonight, and I was effectively stuck to wait it out. I could only hope that somehow one of the Cullens picked up my trail...
I rested my chin on my knees, peered out at the small town from my hidden position, and waited. Dread filled my stomach with butterflies at the possibility that I was followed by one of Sam's wolves, and it was this feeling that prevented me from the sleep I so desperately craved.
Hours passed and I barely moved, but it was a blissful change from running. The sun had dipped below the horizon and the moon had risen, full and pale, keeping watch over the night like a lord over his dominion. My eyes were wide and dry with the determination I was using to fight sleep. My vision was a little blurry from not blinking as much as I should have been, but my ears were working just fine. Better than fine, in fact, probably ten times better than their capabilities from when I was still just human. It seemed that all of my senses had been sharpened from my recent phasing; I was now so hyper-aware of my surroundings that ever little noise had me responding automatically, my head snapping to the source.
When I heard my name, whisper-soft, it was unlike the minute sounds of animals and insects scurrying around the forest. I was on my feet in a second without even thinking, my posture crouched into something defensive on pure instinct, a growl ripping from my throat. It was impossible to still call me human in that moment, and though the rational part of me felt a stab of fear at what I was doing, what I had become, a stronger, fiercer part of me shoved that aside, pumping adrenaline into my blood to prepare me for whatever was waiting for me out in the dark.
"Leah?" There it was again, closer now, and something about the way the name rolled off the tongue...
A more insistent rustling came from to the left in front of me. I stared hard at the shaking plants that were being pulled aside, my heart beating loud in my ears. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly paper-dry.
A figure stepped out of a thick copse of trees, navigating the treacherous terrain with ease. Even though it was too dark to see him clearly, I knew that it was Jasper. The scent that reached my nose wasn't offensive, but had my nerves on edge nonetheless. The instinctive response to the shapeshifter's natural enemy. The flame that was set alight in the pit of my stomach once I recognized his tall silhouette was a completely different instinct, one that only intensified as he drew closer.
I was fully aware that I was completely exposed to him in this stance and somewhere, in the back of my mind, this bothered me. There was a part of me that demanded that I scurry away behind a tree trunk to preserve what little modesty I had. But my logical, rational, human self was left to the mercy of the anxious wolf in me that had its hackles raised and the skin on my body erupt into gooseflesh. Instead of backing down from my position, my muscles flexed further, the snarl in my throat a constant growl.
Jasper flashed me a confident smile that gleamed an eerie white in the moonlight, walking towards me almost casually. I tensed—what if he got hurt—but I couldn't fight my way past the screaming thought of "DANGER" enough to warn him or force myself away.
I could tell that even though he looked suave and sure as ever, he was sending out waves of reassurance, of calm, of peace, emotions that would dull the wolf-senses on high-alert. He came to a stop just feet away, and my body jerked towards him; I could see myself bounding over there and transforming, and it would only take a second, my massive claws would come down and rip off that pretty, pale face—
I shut my eyes with a yelp. Abruptly, my arms dropped from their rigid, outstretched position, my legs buckled and I was no longer crouching. I fell to my knees and before I could stop it, the pain and fear and utter exhaustion caught up to me. It was becoming more and more clear that I couldn't control myself. This was the second time I'd threatened to phase unexpectedly; the memories of waking up to an utterly destroyed room and having no idea what happened splintering sharply in my mind. I was shaking at the possibility of hurting Jasper, and it was worse than what happened to my room. I would be entirely conscious but unable to stop, possessed by the instincts of the wolf. I couldn't swallow down the lump in my throat, borne from the shame and the absolute terror-I was a monster now, and it was never more apparent. My eyes burned and I barely had time to hide my face behind my hands before the sobs began, wracking with the shaking force of my terrifying emotions.
I felt something drop just a little before me, and I knew it was Jasper without looking up. I realized then with humiliation that I was crying like a little girl in front of him and I was still naked and why was he so close? A hot blush crept up my neck, and I scrambled to somehow cover myself without looking up and letting him see my pathetic, tear-streaked face. The coolness of his body temperature was indistinguishable in the chilly air, but his presence was almost impossible not to feel. I felt a stab of something I didn't want to name, low in my belly, and the urge to run and hide was irresistible. But he'd already seen me, hell, I could feel his magnetic eyes burning into me right now, so what was the point? It wasn't like I could actively scrub those memories from his brain. I was feeling too shitty at that point to even try to scold him.
Then I realized with horror that he could probably feel every inch of what I was currently feeling. Burning shame washed over me again, more powerfully, and I felt like crying harder for an entirely different reason. It took several moments before I could bring myself under enough control and summon the bravery to meet his eyes.
They were smoldering under the heavy cover of the night, against his glowing skin. Something in those depths caused my breath to catch. He wasn't looking anywhere but my face, but I felt his gaze like silk over my skin. I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.
"Leah..." he said, sounding almost breathless. I searched his expression without knowing what I wanted to see there. His eyes were uncommonly dark, his face tilted down to face me though he was kneeling. Tendrils of hair brushed his eyes. I bit my lip and looked away, self-consciously moving to cross my arms over more of myself. A wave of strong emotion pierced my stomach, a hot tingling enveloped my body. My heart was beating so strongly and so fast that it nearly hurt; it was like I was trying to outrun the pack all over again. My breathing was hitched and uncommonly shallow. With my skin crawling, it felt like agony to stay so still.
"Jasper, uh, I—" I started, stumbling over the headiness of this feeling. I couldn't look at him, afraid and at the same time yearning to be pulled in by that heavy-lidded intensity.
"Shh..." His voice was low, too husky to be a whisper. His affected tone sent shock waves down my spine and I had to force myself to hold back another shiver.
And then I felt it; feather-light touches down my arm. My eyes shot to his in brief surprise.
"What're you—"
"Leah..." Jasper said roughly, and it was enough to make me freeze. His expression looked torn, his usually smooth features contorted. I realized that he was breathing, long, shuddering breaths, though I had no idea why. I watched him as he traced the path of his finger with his eyes, mesmerized by the lazy strokes.
I felt a burst of heat down below, and my eyes snapped shut, my teeth snagging my lip. Weight settled over me—Jasper was leaning his taut body over mine, slowly guiding me down, down...
My hair settled around my shoulders as my head tipped back automatically, the cool skin of his face gliding along my neck where he inhaled deeply. I couldn't control my moan when I felt his lips kiss the junction of my neck and shoulders, my knees slipping. The hard column of his hips pressed against mine and I arched towards him, every pore in my body alight, begging for more, more.
Through the dizziness that enveloped me, I fleetingly wondered if this was truly my own desire...
Apprehension seized me for a paralyzing moment before he began to do magnificent things with his mouth against my neck and I stopped thinking; I couldn't think.
"Leah," he said, and his voice was muffled but suddenly it was much deeper, much richer. I frowned in confusion. My eyes snapped open with vague recognition and abruptly the body laying over me grew, expanded. It was heavy and muscular and tan and there wasn't a stitch on him; the ripples along his back carried an intricate ink brand that turned my veins to ice. The voice that was purring my name was no longer Jasper's, and the face that turned to look at me was familiar and yet wholly different. His full mouth was curled into a smile that made me feel gut-wrenchingly sick.
I was seized by a new crash of panic and realization and Sam's smile became razor-sharp with wolflike fangs. There was a sharp stab of horrible, ripping agony, and I was being stretched and pulled and distorted and it was just as bad as phasing like somebody had taken a knife and shoved it in and then twisted Dear LORD, that HURTS—!
A rough hand clasped my shoulder, shaking me awake with a scream of terror. My heartbeat was like a constant drum in my ears, blood pounding so fiercely it was like a splitting headache and I had to grit my teeth to stop the overwhelming urge to phase.
It was a nightmare. I knew that now, with the forest remaining quiet and no heavy body on top of me—in me—but my mind was still speeding in a panic and the invisible fist of fear still squeezed my insides. The vestiges of imagined, ripping pain lingered like a ghost, forcing tears that I didn't realize I had been crying out of my eyes.
I was breathing heavily and staring at the ground, trying to banish the impressions of the terrible nightmare still left on my mind. I looked up only when my heart had calmed down to see Edward standing over me, looking pointedly away and thrusting out a folded square of clothes. I shakily grabbed them from him and pulled them on hastily, too terrified to really give a damn about modesty at this point.
It was an awkward silence that followed. It occurred to me while I steadily recovered from the shock and horror and nausea that Edward was the mind-reader of the Cullens.
Lucky me to have the worst nightmare ever and then run into you, I found myself thinking at the red head. He finally acknowledged me with a brief glare, though seemed to struggle to meet my eyes, quickly dropping my gaze.
Oh, how I just adore awkward silences.
Edward cleared his throat pointedly. I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to read his expression in the dim light. I had literally no interaction experience with this particular Cullen, so unlike even the cryptic Jasper (the name conjured images that I immediately fought down with a blush of humiliation), I had no idea how to decipher his facial expressions. Right now, he looked grim. The tic in his jaw also signaled that he was trying to repress something, probably whatever he read of my dream?
"Edward...right?" I asked slowly.
"Yes?" he replied, voice suspiciously polite. Obviously, he wanted to avoid talking about whatever he might have just witnessed. I shrugged. It wasn't like I was in any hurry to relive the experience...though I was simultaneously curious and dreading to know how much of what I dreamed he had received. Just the thought of what had occurred right before the dream veered into nightmare territory had me heating up again in mortification. I felt like burying my face in my hands, though I didn't know whether I'd cry or scream.
"T-this has been such a long day, huh?" I said shakily, a pathetic stab at normalcy. I had to wipe my sweaty palms off on the denim of the jeans Edward had kindly supplied me.
Edward only took one look at me before saying stiffly, "Jasper and Emmett are just a couple of miles away from here. We all spread out once your scent was lost. Follow me." He began stepping over the low brush in the direction I vaguely remembered coming from, though the trail was distorted under cover of darkness. I took a deep breath (trying to ignore the flare of my wolf-senses when Edward's cloying vampire smell lit a trail in my nostrils) and forced my sore feet after him. I kept my mind carefully blank, trying not to think of anything important. Though I didn't explicitly distrust Edward, per se, I didn't know him at all and didn't appreciate him knowing me through my thoughts. Even if he wasn't human and I was...certainly not a normal human...it didn't mean that the whole "having a conversation" thing was suddenly optional.
Nearly an hour later, I was sure that Edward was getting almost as sick of hearing "Caramelldansen" in loop as I was thinking it when he sighed audibly, his tense shoulders dropping. I figured that he had quit trying to read my mind, though I was paranoid enough not to think about anything except exactly how much of this day was spent in fear. Specifically I was dwelling about everything that had happened; despite everything that brought evidence to the contrary, it was still an almost exhausting thing to wrap my mind around. Jacob, telling me that I was going to "die," a poor euphemism for losing my life to the will of the pack, then watching Sam just transform like that, like the crippling pain that accompanied the change was nothing to him. I replayed Emmett's face in my head as he spun the car to slam it against the guardrail, how his features were contorted with urgency and a note of sheer terror that he'd been trying to hide behind his cocky grins and bad driving. I thought about Mom, and how she'd react to the grim news of my disappearance. I wondered how long it would take her to call Dad—not Billy Black, but my father back in Texas—and whether he'd be too busy being wrapped around his new wife's little finger to properly care.
I thought about Angela and Jessica, the friends I'd made here, and realized that I'd probably never see them again after practically being abducted just a few feet away from them. I had never even thought to call out a proper "goodbye." It was a startling thought to think that a few weeks ago I was worried about this "alien" life in Forks, when now I was being thrown into a constant flux, a permanent state of homelessness. How could I ever build a home, when the consequence would just bring my nightmare into reality?
Edward led us through the forest with the moon being our only guide on the rocky, uneven terrain. I had no idea whether we were lost or not because over the course the trip he had stopped several times and went incredibly still, forcing me to almost run into him several times, then resumed trekking as though nothing had happened. I wondered with an idle sort of curiosity if he could somehow sense the minds of Jasper or Emmett and was using those as his leads. Either way, what felt like hours later we broke through the dense thicket of trees and onto a crudely carved gravel-and-dirt road, lit again only by the faint light of the moon and stars. Edward nodded towards what appeared to be the dark shape of a vehicle nestled under some low-hanging branches several feet away. As we approached, I recognized the form of a very tall, muscular person leaning against the side of the car and I felt my face breaking into a wide grin of relief.
"Emmett! You're okay?" Even though I was nearly limp with fatigue, I forced my legs into a run.
"Thanks for sounding so surprised," he said, and though there was wryness in his voice I could see the outlines of a relieved smile when I threw my arms around him without a second thought.
"Thank you so much, Emmett. You really, really didn't have to do that." My words were only slightly muffled by his shirt. He looked down at me bemusedly, wincing a bit.
"Leah—Leah, I'm fine, just a little tired and, ow, you're squeezing just a little too tightly."
"Sorry!" I dropped my arms and stepped back with a sheepish grin, appraising him fully. Despite what he'd said, there were still parts of his clothing that were slashed open, their edges appearing darkened and matted by what I assumed to be vampire blood. I grimaced at the thought of what he must have endured to keep the wolves at bay.
"I've healed already, anyway," Emmett said once he realized what I was doing. I brought my eyes back up to his face, and he was raising his eyebrows at me. "Sorry," I mumbled again, feeling a little out of place. I turned a little to see Edward looking puzzled at my behavior, and it caused me to blush. Not wanting to revel in the awkwardness, I asked with an extra-dose of false brightness, "So! Where's Jasper?"
"Jasper sent us off to look for you before taking the other car ahead of us and making all of the necessary preparations in Seattle," Edward answered primly.
"Wait, so we're driving to Seattle now?" Edward nodded. "Guys, there's a town right there. Wouldn't it be easier to just—"
"It's too small," Emmett interrupted. "We'd stick out like sore thumbs. If any of the pack members just asked around, you'd be easier to track than a heartbeat." He shot me a reassuring grin, and the glow of his teeth in the moonlight reminded me vividly of something else, of someone else. I had to quickly replace the images flooding my mind by concentrating on my massive hunger, though it didn't prevent my knee-jerk reaction of a blush.
I saw Edward raise an eyebrow in the corner of my eye. I mentally thought at him where, exactly, he could shove his non-verbal eyebrow skepticism. Then he just scowled.
"Okay, fine," I muttered, though my stomach felt emptier than the Grand Canyon. "How long will it take to get there, anyway?"
"'Round two hours," was Emmett's awfully cheerful reply. I groaned. The idea of being trapped in a car and playing mental tag with Edward while starving and immensely sleepy was not appealing. And I couldn't afford to fall asleep, either, or Edward could probably just root through my subconscious. While I wasn't entirely sure that he was that big of a prick, I didn't want to take any chances. I couldn't let him know about that goddamn dream; I had the feeling that if he knew, I'd never live it down.
. . .
The lights passed car sporadically, a car that felt incredibly stuffy with two significantly-sized (they were both above six feet, for Christ's sake!) vampires stuffed into it, their smell wafting over me and making me too jittery to fall asleep, thankfully. My empty stomach was roiling, and I felt like I would start dry-heaving if I didn't do something about it, and fast.
"Edward?" I asked about fifteen minutes of unbearable claustrophobia their smell was inciting.
He stayed facing forward, his expression unchanging in the rear-view mirror. "Yes, Leah?"
His tense tone caused me to frown, but he didn't see it.
"Can I open the window?" I requested as innocently as possible.
"What's the matter, wolf-girl? Vampire musk not appealing to you?" Emmett snickered from the passenger seat. Apparently I didn't do "innocent" particularly well.
"Sorry, Emmett. The smell of corpse just doesn't do it for me," I shot back, sticking my tongue out at him.
"Well, you took the words right out of my mouth." I blinked at him in confusion, causing him to laugh. "You wolves aren't exactly Glade plug-in quality."
"What? I stink?" I cried, which only elicited more uproarious laughter from Emmett. "I mean, I know I've been running around all day, but...sheesh, I didn't think it was that bad..." I muttered, feeling embarrassed. Was that why Edward seemed so tight-lipped? So that he didn't have to breathe for as much as possible? The thought made me want to evaporate with guilt. I hit my forehead against the cool of the window glass. "Ow."
Within seconds, a whirring sounded as the window was opened, brushing real, cool, and fresh-smelling air over my too-hot skin. I darted a glance at the rear-view mirror. Edward had on a smirk, one that ordinarily would have made me bristle but in this case I was feeling grateful that he allowed me my embarrassment without comment.
"Problem solved," Emmett said nonchalantly, pressing the button that would bring his own window down. The wind whipped through the car, waking me up more effectively than everything else. It took me a few minutes to recover from my mortification, but soon my undying curiosity overrides any embarrassment. As well as the desire not to stay in silence. I don't know what it is in lapses in conversation, but whenever they appear I always try to fill them.
"So...what happened, Emmett?"
He glanced back at me, the gold eye in his profile narrowing.
"What are you talking about?"
"C'mon, last time I saw you, you were the finish line for two wolves' collision course. How did you escape? Are they..." I swallowed over the word that sticks in my throat. I wasn't sure if Sam deserved death, and God forbid the other one was Jacob. What did Jasper say earlier? Around fifteen pack members? What if those two wolves were two people who I'd never even met before...two guys who were just following orders?
"They aren't dead," Edward said quietly when Emmett's eyes turned downcast.
"What... Why do you two look so... What aren't you telling me?"
"We didn't want to throw more wood on the fire, so to speak," Edward begins, his eyes still staring straight ahead at the road, as deserted as it was. "But those vampires from Port Angeles that we had to...take care of? They'd disappeared before we could confront them about the mess they left behind, but not before catching a very interesting scent that night. A scent that they followed all the way up to Forks."
I sucked in a harsh breath. "Me? They tracked me?"
"The second you left, they turned up. And at first they were all smiles, helping me with the wolves. But then they asked about you, and I realized that they were going to follow you and then find out what you are. They're not neutral vampires, Leah; they seemed incredibly dedicated to the cause," Emmet interjected.
"So...so what? Now I don't only have Sam's pack and possibly every pack of shapeshifters on my tail to turn me into a baby factory, but there's also a vampire army I have to worry about? What could they possibly want with me?" I leaned forward, gripping the back of the passenger seat, trying to see Emmett's expression. He winced at my words.
"Well, once they figure out what you are and what you can do...they'll kill you. Or maybe capture you for bait. But they want to remove all shapeshifters and werewolves from the equation, which means that whatever it is, they want to stop the other side from getting you at all costs."
"It's not good," I said.
"No, no it really isn't," Emmett laughed nervously.
I bit my lip. "Can you guys really...?"
"We're not about to let anyone destroy the life of an innocent girl," Edward said, and for the first time there was a definite expression written on that cold face. His frown looked severe, frighteningly magnified by the intermittent light and darkness that the periodic streetlamps threw on his features. I shivered involuntarily, afraid for myself. Vampires, werewolves, and shifters. It was a war, and both sides wanted me dead; one literally and the other casting me into a non-life, a life of forced servitude. I felt my gratitude towards the Cullens increase. They were risking so much for me, and for others like me who happened to be caught in the line of fire. But I couldn't help wondering how long it would last.
I knew the clock that ticked away my life had already started. The only question was exactly how much time I had left.
. . .
We pulled up to a Super 8 Motel only a couple of miles away to Seattle's downtown around midnight. It wasn't the Ritz or anything, but it was low-key enough for a couple of young-looking kids to shack up in for the night. I was tired enough by then not to care and my neck and back hurt because I'd intentionally propped myself up in a position too uncomfortable to sleep in. With the kind of freakiness I was getting into, who knew? I could phase in my sleep, or have another godforsaken dream that I'd have to spend several days trying to hide from a fucking mind-reader.
I was finding that being exhausted, starving, and then thrown into a car that stank of vampire had me feeling quite crabby.
I wiped a hand down my face, pressing my fingers into eyes that felt dryer than the Sahara, waiting in the car with Emmett for Edward to come back with our room keys. Another good thing about this motel was that all of the rooms were accessible from the outside. We weren't cooped up in a skyscraper with no way out but the window. And I'd get the bed all to myself, because I didn't think that vampires needed their z's...
Something knocked against my window. I jumped, shooting an alarmed look out of the glass. Edward shook a jangling keyring in front of my face and I scowled at him. I think he was smirking at me; one corner of his mouth twitched (probably involuntarily. The guy seemed to have all of the emotional range of a boulder). I got out of the car with a brief exhalation of pain: my joints were already aching like I'd put them through hell just with the simple movement of standing up. I knew that an incredibly sore body awaited me tomorrow, and though I was still hungry, I felt like I was so sleepy that I'd probably just lose consciousness mid-bite. Thankfully, our room was on the ground floor.
I walked to room 103, Emmett trailing behind me while I saw Edward fish out a cellphone in my peripheral vision. I guessed that he was calling Jasper, updating him on the situation. I threw open the door, took the few steps to the middle of the room where a nice, roomy queen-size bed sat, and fell onto it with a groan. I heard the sound of the door closing and then locking, the light laughter of Emmett reaching me.
"You're that drained?"
I grunted.
"Jeez, wolf-girl, someone's outta shape."
I couldn't even respond; I was too busy trying to take off my shoes without using my hands. I finally kicked off the simple tennis shoes, then brought my legs up to my chest, not even bothering with the blankets. Within seconds, the blissful nothing of sleep enveloped me.
. . .
Images flashed through my mind, terrible, disjointed, nonsensical. Wolves, bats, insects, blood, bones, skulls... I was something small, insignificant, being pressed all around by darkness like a grape, being squeezed under all that pressure until I would surely just pop-
I resurfaced into reality, blinking against the intrusive light that settled like a beam over my eyes. It took a few seconds for everything to come back to me, and then I sat up quickly, scanning the room for either Emmett, Edward, or Jasper. It was empty. I was alone.
The thought sent a pang of fear into my heart like a dagger of ice. There was nobody here. Nobody to protect me. I blinked rapidly, biting my lip.
Alright, alright. Calm down. I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
You're a shapeshifter. They probably thought that you could handle being alone for a little while. Now stop acting like a baby.
I focused on my current predicament. Glancing at the cheap digital clock on the bedside table told me that it was around ten a.m., and that brought me to the realization that I hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours. Did vampires eat? That was a stupid question. Did they forget that I had to eat because they could sustain themselves on a liquid diet of A, B, or O?
I absently rubbed my growling stomach and looked around the room once more in the hope that one of them brought me food. Nothing edible, though I did notice the suitcase that Alice had thrown together leaning by the wall next to the door. That brought me to my second realization for the day: that I had also not showered in over twenty-dour hours, either, and after running through the woods all night, I sure as hell needed one. I sighed to myself, then ambled over to the bag of clothes, flinching at the tenderness of my muscles.
I brought the bag over to the bed and emptied out its contents.
I had to say, it was kind of weird how all of the clothes were in my size. The clothes must have been Rosalie's or something, however, because although they were my size, none of it looked like something I would wear. I didn't even consider the possibility of Alice shopping for me while I was unconscious at their house-that would have been just plain strange. Besides, I thought she had been wearing something similar to one of the many outfits in the bag back at the Cullens' house. I picked out an unnecessarily lacy black shirt but decided to keep the jeans I was wearing on because there was no way in hell I was going to put on one of the many skimpy skirts and shorts that Alice had packed for me. I grabbed the bundle of clothes and went into the small bathroom, locking the door in case any of the boys came back. Though Edward had caught me in the buff last night... I shook the thought away with a blush and turned on the shower faucet, setting the water to its hottest setting.
I shed all of my clothes from the night before, but just as I was about to step in the shower I caught my reflection. My face... It wasn't unrecognizable, but it had sure gone through some change since I last looked at myself.
My face seemed leaner. Any traces of baby fat I had had were wiped away. My mouth was quirked down, my eyes widened with vestiges of fear. My skin was a little pale from restless sleep. Rings circled my eyes. I didn't know how to describe it, but the overall effect was that I looked a lot...older. I could easily pass for someone in their twenties. And my hair... In the span of two weeks, it had grown from a neck-length layered cut to below my shoulders. It wasn't just my hair that had gone through a growth spurt, either. I felt like I had shot up a couple of inches as well, my body becoming slimmer and gaining curves simultaneously. I went from five-foot-five to something more like five-eight...maybe even five-nine.
It probably had something to do with shifting. But I felt like I stood out a lot more now. How could I make myself more ordinary, more forgettable? And traveling around with three attractive guys wasn't going to do us favors in the "keeping a low profile" department, either. Hell, I thought they were suspicious the second I laid eyes on them, and I was, as far as I knew, without shifter senses at that point.
My mirror was fogging up. I sighed and took a shower, but I couldn't keep the worry from my mind.
I left the shower minutes later, searching for a pair of underwear when I realized that I'd forgotten to take it into the bathroom with me. I wrapped the thin, crappy motel-quality towel snugly around myself, then put my ear to the door, listening intently for any movement. Nothing.
I opened the door and rifled through the suitcase, looking for something suitable. My eye twitched when I discovered that although Alice didn't go clothes shopping, she did have the courtesy to purchase pairs of underwear for me, all the right size and all with the price tags still attached to them. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, which only intensified when I picked up the plainest bra and caught sight of the price. Fifty dollars for a bra?
And it was all... Well, it was all frilly and lacy and colorful...lingerie. Now I wanted to find a rock to crawl under. Why the hell would she...?
The sound of a door opening and closing had my spinning around, hurriedly clasping my hands behind my back.
"Whoa, there."
Oh, great.
Although I recognized him from his distinctive way of speaking, I wasn't entirely prepared to actually see him there, standing in the doorway. His very appearance made me jump a little, my heartbeat kicking up a notch with the memories that it conjured. I flushed in embarrassment. A nervous, jittery feeling knocked against the walls of my stomach, and I subconsciously folded my arms over myself, unwillingly remembering what had happened in my dream...and the nightmare that followed. I swallowed sharply, suddenly unable to look him in the eye.
"I'm just gonna...go change," I muttered, feeling at least glad that I had an excuse to scamper and hide in the bathroom while I tried to get a handle on myself.
I splashed cold water on my face a few times, giving myself a hard stare in the mirror.
Snap out of it. It was a dream, a nightmare. You don't have anything to be afraid of with Jasper, he saved you, remember?
I quickly pulled on my clothes. They stuck to my damp skin unpleasantly, but I didn't bother drying off.
When I opened the door, I found Jasper with a hand over his mouth, unmoving from his spot by the door. He was also doing a fabulous job of not looking at me, his eyes only darting my way sporadically. I frowned.
"Is everything okay?"
His eyes snapped up. "What? Yes, yes of course." His smile looked almost forced.
An uncomfortable silence followed.
"You, uh, you took a shower," Jasper stated almost lamely.
"Yeah...Emmett told me that I stunk-stink. Well, he and Edward pretty much told me that shapeshifters smell. That's not true, is it?" I asked a little too brightly, trying to latch onto some normalcy.
Jasper just stared at me, like he couldn't believe what I was saying. I blinked; his eyes... Now that he was looking at me, his eyes were black. Not that deep blue-violet, but absolutely coal-colored.
"What happened to your eyes?" I asked cautiously. His strange behavior was enough to distract me from my lingering dream.
"Oh, it's a vampire thing," he said, with what sounded like relief in his voice. I felt my eyebrows raise.
"Are you going to elaborate on that?"
"Well... Oh, I completely forgot," he muttered, his stiff awkwardness disappearing instantly. "I brought you some food." Jasper gestured sheepishly to a paper bag that was sitting on the bedside table.
"Oh, thank god. I'm starving!" I immediately snatched up the bag and unfolded the top, my mouth watering at the delicious smells emanating from within.
"It's a hamburger from the local place. I also got you some fries," Jasper said, watching me as I ripped through the foil packaging and proceeded to devour the food.
"This is delicious," I managed between bites. "Thank you!"
Jasper nodded, ambling over to the bed and taking a seat with something like amusement on his face. I quickly finished the burger and began picking through the fries, leaning against the wall opposite him. I didn't think I could handle any close proximity when I was like this-I didn't want to confuse reality to whatever feelings I might have possessed in my dream.
Sure, I thought Jasper was attractive. I thought the same about all of the Cullens. It was probably the intensity of the day that had produced whatever it was that I dreamed. Jasper had helped me, but I hardly knew the man. For all I knew, he drank human blood...
"So, is human blood as satisfying to you as this burger was to me?" I asked curiously. Jasper stiffened.
"I don't drink human blood," he said tightly.
"I-I didn't mean to offend you-" I started, instantly feeling a guilty. "I mean, vampires can drink without killing anyone, right? You-you don't... You're not a murderer."
His black stare was penetrating. I felt a shiver trace my spine, fear turning my skin cold.
