I'm going to apologise right out of the gate here: this chapter is almost pure self indulgence. I intend for a bit more plot to come but I couldn't help myself in setting the scene, letting the girls get to know each other a little better.

Disclaimer: I will never own Skins, although one day I hope to have something of my own, before the shit hits the fan.


We finished our eggs and walked back to the car hand in hand. It seemed so simple, too simple. I felt like Emily was not just letting me be myself, she was expecting me to. Anything less would have been an insult in the face of her candour. Nothing ever came this simply to me. I could love Gina for her brave stands against homophobia but hadn't had the courage myself to let her in on my own inner feelings. What a hypocrite I was!

Luckily Emily hadn't pressed me on the matter because I wasn't sure I could have lied to her. My flimsy excuse for not telling my mother all this time had been that there was nothing to tell. I had only ever dated men and, though it was never with any success, my only experience with a woman was short-lived and chalked up to college experimentation.

Mum knew nothing of Sophia, because I had always told myself that if I met someone I really wanted to be with I would want mum to know. But Sophia and I were never like that. It had been one very drunken and slightly awkward night with no strings attached. She had initiated it and I had lowered my guard. Alcohol was the perfect excuse. I'm pretty sure I had just laid there!

After a thawing period, we had mutually agreed to be just friends. But I would have been a coward if I didn't at least admit to myself that, while the alcohol had provided me with the perfect pretext to let Sophia in, I was letting something else in that night.

"I'm nervous." Emily whispered, waking me out of my reminiscence.

Me too, I thought "About what?" I said instead.

"The gig. I still don't feel ready, and this is our first real headlining gig." She shifted uneasily in her seat. This wasn't some false modesty, her nerves were palpable. "I slept like shit last night thinking about it."

I wished I could help. Cute as it was, I didn't like seeing her nervous demeanour after witnessing snippets of her underlying bold strength. Then an idea occurred to me.

"I might have a suggestion to get your mind off it..." I mused aloud.

"Oh really?"

Over-thinking-Naomi hesitated a moment. I looked into Emily's warm eyes and decided to throw caution to the wind. Time for me to take a small leap.

"I just so happen to know someone who gives an excellent massage. Makes you forget all your troubles for a moment, or so I'm told. It's not far. Are you game?"

"I'm willing to try." Her mouth curled into a hesitant smile.

"Great! I think Panda's at work today. She'll be thrilled to see you."

Emily rubbed her hand along the side of her neck and exhaled "If she's half as good as you make her out to be, I'm sure I'll be glad to see her too."

Agatha got us to the Yogalates studio unscathed and I walked Emily to the side desk where Paul informed us that Pandora would be free in 15 minutes. We sat against the wall on the sprung floor and waited for Panda to finish with her previous client.

"What about you? You seemed keen to dob me in for a massage; are you even getting one?"

I shook my head "No, to be honest, I have this hang-up about people touching my neck. It's weird I know. But it's something I feel is too intimate a gesture and I don't let anyone do it. It makes me uncomfortable..." I trailed off. "Anyway, I'm not the one who needs to release some tension."

Emily opened her mouth to protest but Pandora came around the corner from the back door, ushering a rather blissful and sedate looking older woman back to the light.

"Oh, blimey! Naomi! It's great to see you here. Has Thommo finally convinced you?"

"Sorry Panda, no dice. But Emily here is in need of one of your best." I winked at her and she bounced a little on the balls of her feet before reaching out for Emily's hand and pulling her up eagerly.

Emily eyed me over her shoulder with a slight look of panic and I followed the two of them down the ramp into the small back room, mimicking the redhead's helpless grimace. The room was modest in size but overwhelming in every other way. It put me vaguely in mind of a torture chamber, not that I'd spent much time in any of those... I could only imagine.

There were no windows. On the ceiling there were two steel bars mounted at shoulder width apart with a red strip of fabric tied to each of them for back-walks. A massage table, similar to the one Pandora lugged around in the back of her van for remote appointments, was set up in the centre of the room and a corner was sectioned off with curtains for people to change.

Panda handed Emily a small white towel with a Velcro strip for fastening and the smaller girl turned behind the curtain to get ready. My eyes wandered over the objects set on a low shelf near the massage table. A burning stick of incense gave the whole room a heady atmosphere. Many oils and hand-labelled bottles I could not make out were lined along the shelf. There were even a few wooden contraptions with dimpled surfaces or rotating parts which made a slight shiver run down my spine.

"You right in there Ems?" I questioned when she hadn't emerged after a few minutes.

"Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain." She snapped back and we heard more rustling of fabric before she came out holding her hands across her towel clad chest and looking down at her bare feet.

She looked smaller then than she even had holding that guitar. Her eyes darted from Pandora, to me, to the table. This was a ridiculous idea; I had made her more nervous than she'd been in the car.

"Up you get" chirped Panda, and Emily clambered onto the table, tugging at the towel to make sure it continued to cover her thighs as she hoisted herself up. Just before Panda threw a large sheet over her, I made out two small lines of dark cursive script on the flat of her shoulder blade. Emily pushed her face against the purpose-made hole in the table and huffed a little, splaying her arms off the table under the sheet.

"And no happy endings, right Ems." Pandora added brightly.

I blushed.

She rubbed her hands together to warm them and motioned with a nod for me to sit in a chair near the door. I reluctantly did as I was bid and watched her brush her palms over Emily's tiny supine form.

First she ran her hands down the length of the redhead's back and across her shoulders a few times. Standing over Emily's head, she pushed her lucky hands all the way down the girl's arms repeatedly. Then, balling up her fists, she placed one on either side of Em's neck and worked a vibrating rhythm in small circles.

Panda smiled at me with all the innocence in the world and continued her ministrations. My eyes found their way up the curve of Emily's calves to where they met with the sheet. Her milky skin barely contrasted with the cloth in the warm glow of the room.

I closed my eyes and wished again that there were a goddamn window nearby. I shrugged off my jacket and crossed my legs. The room was quiet but for the gentle rustle of skin on fabric upon skin.

A sigh would have been audible; then again, maybe I did anyway. I can't be sure.

A few minutes passed, could have been an hour, until Pandora's voice broke the heavy silence.

"I'm going to try some oils and stuff now Emily, if that's ok with you?"

A muffled "Uhuhmph..." came from within the table.

"OK, cool bananas. I'll just go get the right one." The sandy-blonde made her way quietly to the spot between me and the loaded shelves. She placed her warm palm discreetly on my knee and the index finger of her other hand to her lips. I immediately caught her drift. Pandora made more sense when she wasn't talking than when words were coming out of her mouth. I started to understand Effy's predilection for quiet observation. Panda you total and utter fucking legend!

She placed a small blue glass bottle in my palm and pushed me to the side of the table. I didn't resist. My head spun at the smoky balsam my friend had selected when I lathered up my hands and hesitantly pulled the sheet down. The oil smelled like lavender and sandalwood, along with something sweet I couldn't pick. I spread my fingers across Emily's shoulders and felt the muscles twitch slightly. Her skin was surprisingly warm.

My thumbs ran up the back of her neck on either side of her spine and traced each vertebra back down impossibly slowly, taking it all in. Small goose bumps started to form on her skin and I smoothed them over with my palms.

I heard the door open and shut softly behind me. Drawing in a deep breath, I rounded the table and stood at the head. Soft strokes and faintly daring rubs continued. I revelled in the warmth emanating from her small frame and the way she responded to the touch with shudders as I tried to suppress my own.

From my position looking down I could make out the writing on her shoulder a little better. Upside down, the letters curled between three silhouetted birds in flight, two larger ones off in one direction and one remotely smaller, headed towards her clavicle.

Either peace or happiness,
Let it enfold you

My left forefinger traced lightly over the words as I struggled to recall the much longer Bukowski poem. Something about trusting no man, and especially no woman. A passage about the world at the throat of the world, despondent and disillusioned (that's right: the turning point) I welcomed shots of peace, tattered shards of happiness. I embraced that stuff like the hottest number, like high heels, breasts, singing, the works.

As my brain flickered erratically through the rest of words, the door creaked open and Pandora's nose pushed in through the crack. She craned her neck around the opening and found my eye line.

I nodded at her and she padded over to me before speaking to Emily.

"All done! Take your time getting up. Feel a bit better?"

I returned to my chair in without a sound.

"Much," came Emily's husky reply as her vocal chords were coaxed back into use "Thanks Panda."

She pushed herself off the table and I watched her strong back muscles tense with the motion and the ink words rippled over sinew and bone.

She returned behind the curtain without looking at me and came back out a moment later stretching and yawning. Em's fingers laced between mine and she brought my hand up to kiss the back of my knuckles while we followed Panda back up the ramp and into the daylight.

We paid Paul who would only accept half the price of a standard half hour. I guess Pandora hadn't really needed to work all that much for that one but thankfully Paul didn't let on. He had just brushed his thick dark locks back, winked at Panda and proclaimed "Mates rates: Panda's friends are my friends."

We returned to the car and the real world shook back into focus around us as we lurched forward. I glanced at the dash clock and made the usual calculation to account for it being permanently two hours and twenty four minutes slow.

"Em it's a quarter to three. Let me know if you need to get back to start getting ready."

She grumbled in protest and sunk into the passenger seat "Ugh! Yeah I wish I didn't, but I should..."

"Right ma'm, home it is." And I returned us to her place.

When I dropped her off at the door I explained I had to stop off at Gina's and speak with Kieran before getting myself ready and picking up Lara.

She spun on the spot and reached up to cup my cheek. "Ok, thanks again," she rose up on her toes again and brushed her thumb against the corner of my lips before kissing the spot "for breakfast" she kissed me again "and for the massage" she nibbled my bottom lip but I pulled back.

"You paid for the massage."

She squared to face me and put her fists on her hips "Naomi, I'm not a complete idiot you know!"

"Hmm?" I murmured touching the spot her lips had just left.

"You weren't wearing gardenia scented hand cream at brunch, and I can tell the difference between Pandora's and your shoes."