Disclaimer: Doc Martin and recognisable storylines belong to Buffalo Pictures.
Initiative - Chapter 9
"Please, Louisa," Martin said, almost pleading.
Louisa looked at him. He looked slightly terrified, his eyes somewhat wide, face reddening. What could it be? What could make him nearly beg like this? Was it something lewd? Or maybe the opposite. A love letter? Her imagination was starting to rev up, but instead she took pity on him. He had been good company this morning, and most of the afternoon. Perhaps he missed this notepaper and that's when he became distracted and their day turned less comfortable.
She decided her burning curiosity was not enough to make her prolong his discomfort. She cared too much for him to do that.
She squatted down and retrieved the piece of paper. She glanced at it as she stood up. His nice handwriting was accompanied by circles, exclamation points, and underlined words and sentences. She didn't intend to read it, but several things stood out because of his emphasis marks. She saw 'make sure I understand you,' 'make sure you understand me,' and 'Relate in new ways... Notice what happens.' Incongruously, 'Doctor Who?' was in a bottom corner.
She remembered Martin holding a piece of paper just before they set out on their trip today. This must be that paper.
Then she thought about Martin's "people skills" course, coming up this week. 'Understand?' 'Relate?' Suddenly she felt anger. She held the paper out, and he took it.
"Have you been practising on me? For your course? Is that what today was all about?!"
"No, of course not," Martin replied, with growing fear. He folded the paper once, then again while they faced each other.
He sighed, but didn't say anything.
She looked at him, but saw he didn't appear to be forthcoming. Now it was her turn to sigh. She shook her head a little bit.
"Just... Just go."
"Louisa..." he tried, vainly. "I wasn't practising... Well, I was practising, but..."
"I don't want to hear this, Martin! This whole day...! Please leave." She had walked over to the door as she spoke, and opened it. "Now!"
Martin was breathing fairly rapidly now. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. How could he explain? He didn't want to say anything wrong. He wanted to look at the paper; the course pack, really. He remembered something about 'counting to ten' and 'giving each other space.'
He couldn't leave now. He needed to talk with her. She was so angry, but he couldn't leave. Not this time. He walked to the back of her cottage, to put some distance between them, and sat down on the futon.
Louisa closed the door and was again surprised at how he was acting. She didn't want to talk with him just then, however, so she went upstairs.
- oo0oo –
He heard her stomp up the stairs, and then a door slamming. He couldn't believe he was still in her cottage. He couldn't believe she had seen his page of notes, exactly as he had feared she would. He couldn't believe he didn't feel as embarrassed as he had expected he would. He supposed her anger had chased that feeling right away.
- oo0oo –
Upstairs, she swung her bag overhand, slamming it onto her bed. Then she dropped next to it. That only lasted a moment, however, and she was up and pacing. Was she not doing exactly what she'd just decided not to do? Minutes ago, she had been thinking about not prolonging his discomfort, and now she was trying to calm down after accusing him of pretending with her all day. But he admitted he was practising! Why should she care about his feelings when he had been using her all day?
He let her help with the garden when he clearly didn't need help. He took her on a business trip and pretended to not be impatient driving in Dartmoor. He acted nice until he missed his precious paper. Then he was his usual self, gruff, monosyllabic...
- oo0oo –
Not wanting to crush her decorative pillows, he was uncomfortably perched on the edge of the futon. He got up and moved slowly around her sitting area. Looking out the back door, he could see the harbour was now in deeper shade, dulling and hiding the usual striking colour of the ocean. He almost felt the same darkness moving over him. Why did he say he was 'practising?' She obviously thought he meant he was practising on her for his course.
He wasn't practising-pretending. He was practising-trying new ways of being with her.
- oo0oo –
Louisa went out of her bedroom and used the bathroom. After washing her hands, she splashed water on her face. After patting dry, she looked at herself in the mirror.
She had insinuated herself into the garden project. She had invited herself along on his trip to Devon, and had seen him gazing at her once or twice. He was nice and patient and perhaps trying to be different with her. Better.
- oo0oo –
He washed his hands and used a now damp paper towel to wipe his face. His intestines had another session of audible borborygmi. Maybe he shouldn't confront Louisa on an empty stomach.
She obviously didn't want him here. He couldn't very well force her to come down and speak with him. He would just have to try again tomorrow.
- oo0oo –
Louisa heard the front door close, and she moved to the window to see his car angle away from her door and head down the hill. She headed downstairs and to the deck, but didn't go outside. Instead, she watched him arrive at the surgery and walk to the patio. He turned then and stood looking towards her for nearly a minute before he went inside.
- oo0oo –
Should he call her? Tell her he meant he was trying new ways to act when with her. Should he wait until tomorrow? How long did it take her to calm down? He didn't know, because one or the other of them had always stomped off after a disagreement or misunderstanding.
He made himself a light dinner, ate it unhappily alone as he'd foreseen, then retired for the night. He needed to be refreshed for the next day's phone call with the course instructor. He lay there for some time staring at the darkened ceiling before he finally succumbed to sleep.
- oo0oo –
She made herself a light dinner, all the while wondering if she should call him. Tell him she had been re-thinking the whole day. That she saw it in a more positive light upon reflection. She was leaning towards this decision, but when she looked across the harbour, she saw his upstairs light go out.
She tossed and turned for some time, trying to lessen the feelings she had but would not be able to ease without speaking with him, until sleep finally overtook her.
End of Chapter 9
