Chapter 9: Shield Coup d'état
Requests by PM Only
Rating: K
A/N: My anonymous co-author will not be co-writing this story anymore. From chapter 10, ADC will be co-written with wharfcoyote.
This chapter starts before Smackdown 30/04/15 (particularly the match: Dean vs. Seth), and ends after Raw 4/05/15.
Dear WWE Universe and fans of ...well, my (Aria) show...
Please note that Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins are scheduled to be co-hosting today's show. So I apologize in advance for any mishaps and...craziness (particularly with a certain Lunatic Fringe).
Sincerely,
Aria Taylor
Hostess of the only no-name show on the planet
~oOo~
Dean entered the auditorium and spotted Aria by a table behind the hostess' actual one. As he got closer he noticed Aria stirring something...but it didn't look like an ordinary pot.
But anyway. "What you cooking?" Dean asked casually. "I'm hungry!"
Aria chuckled. "Aren't you always?" She stopped stirring and placed the – spoon, if you could call it that – on the table. "Sorry, Dean, I'm not cooking."
The Lunatic Fringe took a closer look at the "pot" and the "recipe book" Aria kept glancing at.
"Dean, please could you get me a bird's feather?" she asked. "But don't pluck it off the poor creature; just find one on the ground or something."
Dean's eyes bulged and he remained rooted to the spot. A few minutes later, his (Shield) brother Roman walked in.
"She's- she's-" The Lunatic stammered.
Roman knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "What?"
"Aria!" Dean whispered urgently. "She's a witch!"
The said 'witch' turned around. "Dean, did you get my feather of bird? Oh, hi Roman."
"Maybe she is," Dean speculated. "Look at this show of hers! All the things she's making us do! And the toddler thing? Yeah, she is definitely evil."
Roman sighed and sat down at the hostess' table, firing up the new computer WWE provided. "Let's just get started."
Dean was about to argue, when the rest of the guest started pouring into the auditorium. First was the Authority (with J&J, Kane and Big Show), followed by Barrett, Cena and Orton. Paige was already in the audience, along with some other Divas.
"Welcome to-!" Dean leaned over to Roman. "What's this show called?" he asked in a loud whisper.
"The Aria Taylor Show?" Roman suggested.
"Nah, too lame." Dean replied.
"Favoristism!" yelled Bad News Barrett.
Dean tapped on his collar bone. "Well here's some Bad News...since we're the hosts now...another outburst like that, and I'll hold you in contempt."
Roman sighed. "We're not in a courthouse, Dean."
"We'll just turn you into a toddler then," the Lunatic smirked.
"It's still favouritism." Wade pressed. "I bet if I asked to host the show, Aria will refuse!"
Aria froze for a second.
"Very sweet and polite, but will deny my request all the same."
"Well whatever," Roman shrugged and read the first tweet:
Dare for Randy Orton: kiss AJ Lee
Stupidstupid456
"Why?" Randy asked confused.
"Because Stupid said so, stupid," Dean rolled his eyes.
"If you can catch the child," Roman said. "She's always skipping, that one."
Sure enough, AJ, hearing her name, came skipping down the steps, onto the stage.
"Hey!" Cena suddenly exclaimed. "Isn't that CM PUNK?!"
AJ stopped dead and eagerly looked around. "Where?"
Randy got up and quickly kissed her forehead before returning to his seat.
"Hey," AJ pouted. "That's not fair, he's not here."
"Shame on you John!" floated a voice from the audience, sounding very much like a Bella twin.
Cena smiled.
"Wait a second," Seth said suddenly. "I'm also a guest host!"
Roman and Dean smirked at him.
"Come on, then." The Lunatic grinned.
Seth could read between the lines and could tell that was more of an invitation to get his butt kicked than to be co-host.
Aria sighed and looked at the next tweet:
I have been greatly enjoying the show, however, I feel like there has been far too much disrespect directed at the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Seth Rollins. To make up for this terrible injustice, I would like to dare Mr. Rollins to slap anyone of his choosing (except Stephanie, of course, because hitting a girl is never cool). In addition, I would like to stipulate that the person he chooses cannot retaliate. Thank you.
[Wharfcoyote]
"Anyway, let's move on." Dean said. "This tweety-birdy is from Wharfcoyote, hmm...interesting."
Aria was sure Dean wasn't going to like this one...but she was wrong...
"I just love this!" Dean exclaimed happily. "It says: Aria, you have a terrible show, no offence. But don't worry; it's not as terrible as that pathetic excuse for a champion (Seth Rollins, backstabber, coward, etc. etc.). So Stephanie, feel free to slap him anytime you wish – he is a disgrace to the Authority after all."
"What?!" Seth exclaimed.
"Yours sincerely," Dean continued as if he hadn't heard the champ, "CoyoteWolf-dog, werewolf and all things that go-" he threw his head back, and gave a great Hound of Justice: "AHHHHHH-WHOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Roman shook his head and laughed. "Dean, perhaps I should read out the tweets."
I have been greatly enjoying the show, however, I feel like there has been far too much disrespect directed at the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Seth Rollins. To make up for this terrible injustice, I would like to dare Mr. Rollins to slap anyone of his choosing (except Stephanie, of course, because hitting a girl is never cool). In addition, I would like to stipulate that the person he chooses cannot retaliate. Thank you.
Actually, on second thought, I am afraid that our current hosts will not implement this dare properly. Unless Mr. Rollins disagrees, I would like to stipulate that we should wait until Aria resumes her hosting duties for this dare to be completed.
Wharfcoyote
Dean shrugged. "Wharfcoyote is…unstable."
"Now that dare makes sense." Seth grinned. "And I agree."
Roman swiveled around to face Aria. "Wait a second…"
"Yes, Aria is going to ensure that this stipulation is adhered to," Seth said. "Because that's what Wharfcoyote said."
"Exactly," Roman said.
"…What?" Dean and Seth asked in surprise.
"Exactly," Roman repeated. "That's what Wharfcoyote said…but how did he (or she) think to bring Aria into this to ensure this dare's stipulation is adhered to…this round?"
Dean whipped around. "Aria! You told Wharfcoyote how to word the dare?!"
Aria arched an eyebrow. "Of course not!"
"Someone did," Roman put in, and the hostess hurriedly turned back to her 'cooking.'
"Continue with the dare," the Aria said. "The show must go on."
Dean growled. "Oh, I'll tell a certain authoress of toddler stories were to go on-"
"If you think Princess Aquilia cannot get onto Twitter or WWEApp to dare Dean Ambrose to do whatever her heart desires, you got another thing coming," Aria laughed. "After all, Wharfcoyote, Wolfgirl2013, logan's kid, I am the true-"
"Alright! Alright! I got it!" Dean groaned. "Just stop talking already. Moving on."
#WWEQA
Hey trips remember me ;D anyways (I) brought MAH FRIEND (drum roll before former superstar A.J. Styles walks in) and I dare him and Sting to do whatever they want to Trips for the rest of the night.
Also I dare Roman and Dean to do whatever they want to Seth for 5 min and Seth can't fight back or he will give his title to Roman
Aria, love your show #ariaction, also let Styles stay, please and answer Questions
The True Warrior XY2
Aria was glad Dean read out the request correctly until -
"... I dare him and Sting to do – WHAT?" Dean held a hand over his mouth for a moment. "I dare him and Sting to do the MACARENA?!"
Aria face-palmed.
"This is pathetic." Triple H rolled his eyes. "And I thought this show couldn't get any worse."
"No worries, boss!" J&J jumped up from their seats in excitement. "We'll do it for you,"
"Apparently it can," Stephanie sighed as J&J began to sing.
"HEYYYYYYYYYYY…MACARENA!"
" ALRIGHT!"
Seth got up and made his way across the auditorium, towards the hostess' table. But he bypassed his Payback opponents (his 2014 Payback teammates), and went to Aria, who was once again, stirring her 'pot.'
"Don't you see what's happening?" Seth asked. "First Big Show with the Can-can, now my security with the Macarena."
Aria giggled quietly as she continued stirring.
"It's embarrassing!" Seth stormed.
"What's embarrassing is making others fight your battles for you." Aria said casually as she added some red powder to the 'mixture. "Especially for a wrestler."
The Champion froze. What?
Aria stopped stirring. "I still believe you can win at Payback...without help." She said quietly. "Because you are that good..."
Seth remained quiet.
"Or... you used to be."
"Hey Aria!" Dean said making his way over to them.
J&J security were immediately by Seth's side.
"If you're not...cooking, then what is that?" Dean asked. "I mean if that's food, you can't keep it away from me."
"Its liquid luck." Aria replied. "A potion,"
"So you are a witch!" Dean exclaimed; his voices high-pitched like a screaming little girl. "ROMAN! HELP!"
The Samoan shook his head.
Dean turned to Seth. "Does that sound like you? Or maybe just a little more – scared?"
Seth gritted his teeth.
Dean threw up his hands. "Look, I can't be as good as you calling for help and all," he said solemnly.
Aria sighed. "Dean, what an unpleasant thing to say."
Seth beamed. "For once you see things my way, Aria. Dean's a lunatic."
"Actually I was referring to him calling me a 'witch.'" The hostess corrected. "I'm a fairy."
"Whatever. You made that for me, right?" Seth asked looking at the tiny bottle which Aria poured a little of the potion into.
The fairy didn't reply.
Seth grinned. "Thanks,"
He immediately uncorked it with his thumb and gulped the liquid down. It tasted...not that bad. But more like oil.
At least no lacewing flies and beetles like in Harry Potter.
"Ugh," Seth stuck his tongue.
Aria started laughing. "It's not the kind potion you drink, Seth."
"What?"
"You can just stand over the cauldron and say the magic words." The hostess explained.
"Oh, of course!" Jamie Noble said, looking kindly at the cauldron. "Please and thank you."
Aria giggled as Seth sighed in frustration.
"Please and tha-?" the Champion repeated, striving for patience. "From the book!"
"Bubble and boil oh magic stew," Joey Mercury read from Aria's ancient book, as the cauldron began to bubble. "Make our special wish come true!"
"NO!" the fairy exclaimed, trying to grab the book, as purple smoke burst from the cauldron.
Seth held her back. "Thank you, Aria," he said, placing a firm kiss on her cheek. "Come on boys, I got a match to win."
And so Seth won the match against Dean on Smackdown, with help from J&J and Kane.
O-B-V-I-O-U-S-L-Y.
~oOo~
Minutes before the next (Aria's) show started, the seated hostess found herself looking up at a very still Samoan.
Aria smiled. "Hi, Roman."
The Big Dog remained quiet for a few moments, and the fairy could sense the raging volcano within, evident only in his cold eyes.
"Word around the locker room is you gave Seth a magical potion," he said. "Now normally I wouldn't believe such hocus pocus..."
"Ah, the wish potion," Aria said. "Or the liquid luck..."
"My buddy, Dean, lost the match yesterday, because of that potion," Roman set his jaw. "Your potion."
Aria chuckled. "It's a fabricated potion. And anyway, the wish was for Seth to win by himself – no cheating. Obviously, that didn't happen."
The Powerhouse sighed. "Alright then. But what were you doing in the first place with the cauldron and ...feather of bird?"
Aria took a deep breath. "Honesty? I was hoping to give Seth a confidence boost. It worked for Harry Potter and Bugs Bunny in Space Jam."
Roman shook his head. "Now I can't tell the age difference between you and my daughter."
Aria smiled and leaned forward confidentially. "Roman, I'm a fairy. You really think I haven't spoken to Bugs Bunny? The next time your daughter says Princess Sophia from Disney visited her, you should...Believe That."
Roman shrugged. He's best friends with Dean Ambrose, so this wasn't so new to him.
"Okay." He said. "But since Dean practically hosted the last show all by himself, I'd like to host this one, please."
"Sure." Aria complied. "Go ahead. But I think Dean will crash it."
The Powerhouse chuckled as the other guests filled the auditorium. "You bet, that's my bro,"
Of course, as soon as Dean entered, he made a beeline for the hostess' table with a bounce in his step: he had earned his way to the main event at Payback, to take a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
"Great! We're running the show again today!"
Roman smiled and as the Lunatic started off the show. Hosting it meant they weren't subjected to dares or questions.
*Giggle* OK, This Is Classic
Dares:
Triple H and Shawn Michaels: Reunite DX (just both of you will be fine).
Wade: Give Bad News to Seth And J&J Security
Seth: I dare you to challenge Roman And Dean In 2 On 1 And NO Cheating
Dare to everyone: Sing Your Fav Songs
Roman, Dean and Seth: What was your Wrestlemania Moment?
Wolfgirl2013
"So I'll wrestle Seth and you'll be ref, Ro?" Dean asked.
"Two on one?" Roman asked. "Seth needs help to win his matches. Not us."
"Yeah, some fighting world champ we have," Dean laughed. "Hey, here's a question Seth: how come you're not giving out open challenges like Cena? Not man enough?"
Seth shot both of them dirty looks.
"No, Ambrose you may be wrong," Randy said. "He's not Tough Enough,"
Kane smirked as everyone else (besides the Authority) laughed.
"Time" Aria reminded. "Moving on."
"Hey! That's our line now!" Dean protested.
"Bad News to Seth and J&J, huh?" Wade drummed his fingers on the armrest of his couch. "Here's a no-brainer, J&J, you guys aren't real security and very much replaceable."
"Oh there's a shock," Randy commented his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"And Seth Rollins…" Wade continued.
The Champ rolled his eyes.
"I don't know what the Authority told you," Barrett said. "But word around the locker room last year was 'The Shield are brothers. They will stand strong until the very end.'"
Seth smirked.
"Personally, I was discussing with…someone, can't remember who, saying maybe Roman will leave the Shield, seeing as he's the strongest one," Wade continued. "But I got picked up and Samoan slammed against the wall. Something about 'brothers do fight, but that doesn't mean they would turn on each other'."
Seth stiffened.
"And then there was Dean, and some altercation with the Authority because of an invitation to join them." Barrett shrugged.
Seth's face drained of colour.
Dean made a noise like a buzzer. "You're supposed to be giving Bad News, Barrett not old stories."
"Is that true?" Seth asked. "Look I wanted to join the Authority for the opportunities, but not turn my back -."
"It was part of the deal!" Triple H interrupted.
"Rollins, its been over a year, so we don't actually care," Roman said. "But I am going to get my title at Payback."
Seth just looked at him.
"Seth, no worries, we're going to win at Payback." Roman assured. "We're a team. But most importantly we're brothers."
"From Seth, anytime."
Dean's voice snapped the Champ out of his reverie.
"From me…" the Lunatic smirked. "I'd like to see you try."
"Let's leave the fighting in the Ring." Roman said sensibly and Dean shrugged.
"The next dare is from logan's kid," the Lunatic announced.
Aria sighed and glanced at her tab, where logan's kid's dare was shown:
I love this amazing show. I like Daken's sister's "dare" that the boys got off of. I dare Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns be hand-cuff to each other and I dare them to sing True Friends by Hannah Montana.
logan's kid
"And it says," Dean continued. "I hate Daken's sister's dare about handcuffing the Shield together and making them sing horrible songs! What's wrong with you people?!"
"I totally agree with this kid," Roman put in.
Aria sighed as yet another show came to an end with hardly any questions or dares being adhered to.
"Well, goodnight everyone," the hostess tried her best to smile. "And please tune in next time after Payback. Hopefully things will be... back to normal."
"That's unlikely." Dean grinned. "We'll host next show as well!"
"Favouritism!" Barrett yelled again.
"I'll tell you what," Aria smiled. "Let's leave that to the WWE universe to decide."
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To guest reviewer: Dx rules
Thanks I'm glad you are. Thanks for reviewing
The wish potion with the magical words is from Disney's That's So Raven SE2, Ep. 4.
To everyone that sent requests, thank you so much for contributing to the story: D
And thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited and followed! You guys are awesome! :D :D :D
