A/N: I don't know what it is, but somehow it takes me a while to get in the proper mood to actually write these chapters well. I even have some semblance of a plot working in my head and yet if it doesn't feel right to me, I'll just scrap a whole chapter and start over. I worked on this for like five days straight and this is the only version I'm happy with. Anyways, please enjoy~


Chapter 9: Break (Part 2)

Murdoc's belt clanked against the pretty, clean tiles of the bathroom floor.

What's going on?

Murdoc's jeans followed.

He's taking a bath?

Murdoc lowered himself into the hot water, sighing in content as the soothing warmth enveloped him.

With me?!

It hadn't really hit him until just then - when Murdoc had actually stripped down to his boxers and got into the tub with him - that what was happening was ludicrous. Insane, mental, mad. Whatever other word there was for bizarre and nonsensical. Because Murdoc was taking a bath with him. In his underwear.

2D picked a point on the opposite wall and stared. He concentrated hard on not letting his gaze stray. If he let himself look at Murdoc, who knew where his eyes might wander? If they migrated too far south, well... he'd be in trouble.

"You gonna wash up or what?" Murdoc asked suddenly.

He was leaning against the far end of the jacuzzi-sized bathtub, as far as he could get from 2D. His arms were tucked behind his head like a makeshift pillow. He looked every bit as relaxed as 2D felt tense. Of course he was. There were few things that phased Murdoc Niccals, and of the ones 2D had picked up (only after years of living with him), relaxing in a jacuzzi with a fellow band mate was not one of them.

For 2D, though, whose band mate also happened to be the man he'd secretly fancied for years on end, bathing together in nothing but their knickers was more than a little terrifying.

"Er, yeah," 2D mumbled.

He spotted a washcloth and a bar of soap resting on the side of the tub. He made to reach for them, but a sudden, stabbing pain shot through his arm, rippling across his chest and down his side. He cried out and retracted his hand, cradling it to his chest.

"What happened?" Murdoc asked. He seemed, just for a fleeting moment, genuinely concerned. But the bassist was quick to pull a mask back over his features, and he projected nothing but a lazy curiosity.

"My arm," 2D whimpered as the pain ebbed away. "It jus'... hurt. Out of nowhere."

"You haven't used it in a few days," Murdoc explained casually, shrugging. "It's probably sore or something. Don't move too suddenly and you should be fine."

"But I walked all the way here," 2D continued, "Nothing hurt then. Well, except for when you dug your claws into my arm..."

Murdoc shot him a glare.

"Suck it up, face-ache," he growled, a bite to his tone that silenced the singer. "Whiny prick."

My name's not face-ache, 2D thought to himself with a sudden defiance. You buried my real name and then brought it back to life and-

And I wish I understood why you did that. Why you had to remind me what you'd done.

Silence fell, and... Stuart (he hated how foreign his own name sounded) reached more gently for the washcloth and soap. As he began to clean off the layer of grime that had collected on his skin over the past three days, the pain slowly ebbed from his muscles. It became easier to move.

When he was done scrubbing and washing his hair, he let himself just soak. The bath was still very warm, heat seeping right down to his bones. Little wisps of steam rose from the surface of the water. Despite the situation, 2D began to relax into it. He blamed the warmth when his eyes began to drift.

Maybe it wasn't so bad to stare, he reasoned with himself. He didn't have any visible irises. If he was careful, he could get away with a quick peek or two. After all, it'd been a while since he'd last seen the bassist in his underwear.

Actually, it'd only been a few days, but any amount of time was too long to wait.

Angling his face so that he could be staring at the wall next to Murdoc, he let his gaze fall on Murdoc's body.

Despite his ego, Murdoc did not have the physique of a god. His features didn't look as though they'd been "chiseled by ancient craftsmen," by any stretch of the imagination. He wasn't flawless. His skin was green and he had heavy, dark bags under his eyes and his teeth were jagged and sharp as razors.

But he was handsome. 2D had always thought so. From the moment he'd first seen him, even when the deeper attraction was not yet there.

Though Murdoc might not have a flawless facial structure, it was in the imperfections 2D found beauty (though he admitted that wasn't a word he'd normally use to describe Murdoc). His permanently broken nose told a story (about eight to be specific). The bags under his eyes suggested countless sleepless nights, a tortured man. More stories he probably wouldn't ever tell.

But music he would write? Perhaps. And 2D promised himself he would be there to hear it all.

"What happened to me after I left the Studio?" 2D asked suddenly. Drinking in Murdoc's body without his knowledge had suddenly lost it's thrill.

Murdoc opened his eyes, seeming calmly surprised that 2D had anything to say. He glanced over to 2D without bothering to even turn his head. He inhaled so deeply it was almost like an inward sigh. 2D took it that way, since he could sense the annoyance in Murdoc's breath.

"Nothing much," Murdoc finally said. 2D fidgeted. To appear untroubled by the delicious rumble in Murdoc's baritone voice, the singer reached (much more gently) for the washcloth and soap and began to wash up. "When you didn't come back, that Yuki girl went out to look for you. She found you in one of the ruddy bathrooms I'd forgotten about and I had the robot carry you to the nearest bed. If you hadn't noticed, this luxury bathroom wasn't made for you."

2D paused in scrubbing his arms and glanced around them, absorbing once more the grandeur of the room. Clean marble tiles. A flawless, extravagant mirror in front of a stone sink. The lights were electric, but 2D noticed a few candle holders on the walls. Imagining them filled with lit candles, the light of the flames dancing along the walls and bathtub, made heat rise to his cheeks. He quickly went back to scrubbing, allowing the suds to clean both his skin and his dirty thoughts.

"Who was it made for, then?" 2D asked, fighting hard to keep his voice from cracking.

"Who else would surround themselves with only the best this sodding world has to offer?" said Murdoc. 2D looked up at him. He expected the smirk, since he'd heard it in Murdoc's tone. He hadn't been expecting the far-away look in the bassist's eyes.

"It's mine," Murdoc answered finally. "Of course."

Mine. There was something in the way Murdoc said that, and in the way he looked directly at 2D, that only fueled the heat in the singer's cheeks. Wishing with all his might that Murdoc couldn't see the bulge in his briefs, 2D thought quickly for something else to distract him. To distract them both.

"I was sick for three days," 2D continued, scrubbing his chest with the washcloth. "Weren't we supposed to record the next song the day after To Binge?"

"Yeah, well," Murdoc said, rolling his eyes before closing them again. "You seemed a bit preoccupied trying to stay alive. Besides, we still have another day or two before the crew shows up. If you're up for singing, we could record Empire Ants before then."

2D remembered Empire Ants (he remembered every song listed on Murdoc's sacred calendar). Just hearing the name had perked his ears up, sent his mind into a frenzy. Soon, he'd hear another one of Murdoc's songs. He'd be given another piece of him.

"Empire Ants," 2D repeated quietly, and he couldn't help but smile. It sounded like a very interesting song. "What's that one about?"

He'd asked the question long before he'd given his mouth permission to open. The words had just tumbled harmlessly away from him, and he knew he could never get them back. Murdoc didn't answer questions like these. Not honestly, at least. That's why 2D was forced to get the answers through his songs.

"I don't really know," said Murdoc. Perfectly timed. A casual answer. He sounded relaxed. "It was a stormy night when I wrote it, and I was pretty far gone. In the words of Rick James, cocaine's one helluva drug."

Murdoc snickered to himself as if he found drug abuse amusing. An awkward silence fell over the room. Though, 2D wondered if he was the only one who thought it was awkward, since Murdoc didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable. He was still wearing his mask, so everything was fine.

The mask was the name 2D had given to Murdoc's way of dealing with intense emotions. It wasn't a physical mask, but for all the hiding it allowed Murdoc to accomplish, it might as well have been. It was another thing 2D had only picked up on after years of watching him from afar. Signs of the mask could be very subtle, something as small as a shadow passing over the bassist's eyes, a twitch of his lip, a slight perking of his oddly-shaped ears.

2D used to be so fond of the mask. He was proud that he knew something about Murdoc that not many people did. Maybe it was Murdoc's comment about cocaine that had done it. Maybe it was because the both of them were taking a warm, soothing bath in nothing but their underwear. But 2D had never had a bigger desire to destroy Murdoc's mask.

To break it into a million little pieces and see what truly lay behind it.

With a gentle splashing sound, 2D sat up from the water, tucking his legs beneath him and sitting on his heels. He made sure the washcloth was soapy enough and then began to clean his lower back and hips, scrubbing in gentle, slow circles.

"What are you doing?" Murdoc asked, sounding tense.

2D glanced over and saw Murdoc's gaze was locked onto his hips. He was watching 2D's hand run along his outer thigh like a cat watches a mouse. 2D didn't have an answer to his question. In truth, he didn't have any idea what he was doing. All he knew was that it seemed to be working.

"Washing up," said 2D, trying not to sound too obviously innocent. He aimed for indifference, putting on a mask of his own in the hopes that Murdoc would remove his. "Like you told me to."

"Right," Murdoc said, though he seemed a bit far away. His eyes were trained on 2D's body, and there was something empowering about that. Confidence slowly began to take place of 2D's doubt, and the singer moved his hand down toward his inner thigh.

"You know..." Murdoc spoke quietly. Was it just 2D or did his voice sound a bit deeper, more rugged? "It's been a long time since I've shagged a bird."

2D swallowed, feeling himself heat up. This time, blood rushed to more select areas of his body, instead of just burning through his veins. Why was Murdoc talking about the last time he had sex?

"Has it?" 2D breathed. He slowly raised his arse to run the cloth down the side of his hips, careful to keep his front concealed in the water. He thought he might look a bit silly, his bum sticking out like it was, but a barely noticeable intake of breath from Murdoc was enough to convince him otherwise.

"A very long time..." Murdoc continued. He sounded like he was talking more to himself now than to 2D.

Suddenly Murdoc sat up from his place against the wall. He waded over to 2D's side, placing his hand on the singer's and stopping him. 2D looked up bravely to meet his eyes. Murdoc was dangerously close to his face.

"Maybe we could change that," Murdoc growled lightly, his husky voice sending shivers up 2D's spine.

Their lips were inches apart, and 2D felt a bit light-headed. This couldn't be real. It was just some cruel fever dream. Any second now he'd wake up with a 102.3 Fahrenheit temperature and an annoying hard on he'd soon forget.

But none of that happened. What did was far more interesting.

2D's lips hovered near Murdoc's for a split second before they met.

Colors bloomed once again in 2D's mind. His heart turned into a hummingbird and it fought hard to escape his chest. Impossible, it screamed, all of this is impossible. Yet Murdoc's lips were pressed roughly against his own. His hands found 2D's lower back and the bassist pulled him closer, suddenly possessive. 2D had to disagree with his hummingbird heart, and instead allow himself, for the very first time, to think the words he'd tried so hard to keep locked away in the darkest corners of his mind.

This is entirely possible.

But as soon as he thought that, he knew it wasn't. Murdoc had eyes for another. A kiss does not prove anything. Besides, though 2D wasn't going to deny that this kiss was almost everything he'd ever imagined it to be, he knew it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted love. He was getting desire. He didn't know how he'd got here, to be honest, but something had been lost in translation along the way.

"Stop," he said. It took every ounce of strength he had left to drop the soapy cloth he'd been clinging to into the water, gently place his arms on Murdoc's chest, and push away.

"What?" Murdoc hissed, frustrated.

"Broken," 2D muttered, his voice just above a whisper. He closed his eyes and forced himself to concentrate. "The song that-"

"I know the fucking song," Murdoc snapped, roughly pulling 2D's body closer. Something hard and impossibly hot burned against 2D's inner thigh, and the singer gulped. "What about it?"

"I want to know," 2D muttered, unable to meet Murdoc's piercing eyes, "I want to know what that one's about... Who you wrote it for."

"Why are you asking this now?" Murdoc growled.

"I jus' am, alright?" 2D snapped, giving Murdoc's attitude right back to him. "I need to know-"

"It's a stupid song!" Murdoc shouted, "You weren't ever meant to see it. No one was!"

"Then why does it exist?" 2D asked. "Why didn't you burn it?"

"Tuss," Murdoc warned, glaring at him through his dark hair.

"Why don't you go burn it right now?" 2D pressed, "What's stopping you?"

"Tuss..." Less of a warning, more of a plea. Murdoc's eyes softened, and his hands ran down 2D's spine, roughly holding him against his body.

Somehow, 2D understood completely. Don't do this, he was saying. We could continue if you stopped right here. If you let this go, we could pretend you never mentioned the song, never saw it, and take the road that so obviously leads to mind-blowing sex.

Though every physical fiber of 2D's being wanted to take that road, he couldn't do it. He couldn't let it go.

"Who do you love?" 2D whispered.

Everything shattered.

For a split second, Murdoc looked almost disappointed. Then, he pulled his mask back over his face and showed nothing but a hateful frown.

Then came the fist.

Murdoc shoved 2D away from him and punched him in the face. 2D fell over, clutching his now bleeding nose. Before he could recover, an angry hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked him back up. Murdoc stared daggers into his soul, his teeth bared in fury.

"This isn't some fucking game you can play on me," he hissed. The fact that he wasn't yelling made 2D even more terrified. It made the anger more palpable. "You think you know what's going on but you don't have a fucking clue. Not a single fucking one. Stop acting like you understand me, and get over yourself."

Murdoc roughly shoved 2D against the wall and abruptly stood up. Water cascaded from him, and without waiting for it all to fall back into the tub, Murdoc got out. He gathered his clothes and made a beeline for the door.

"Where are you going?" 2D asked dully.

"Far away," Murdoc spat.

"From what?" said 2D, "We're at the furthest point-"

"From you," Murdoc clarified. With that he left, slamming the door behind him.

2D quietly washed the rest of his body off. He scrubbed the sweat and grime from the fever away, cleaned the oil and lint from his hair, and otherwise made sure he was spotless. Then he kicked at the drain until it gurgled, and the water began to steadily disappear into the pipes.

He stayed in the tub long after the last of the water was gone, staring at the empty space Murdoc had occupied back when he hadn't yet pushed him away. He stayed until his hair had gone from dripping to damp, until his nose stopped bleeding and his eyes begun to sting from an unhealthy lack of blinks.

All the while he rubbed his fingers over his lips, swearing he could still feel Murdoc's own against them.