Of course somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that it wasn't for real. I knew that Malfoy had just walked out of the room and was not dead. I knew that there was a boggart right in front of me that had changed into my biggest fear since I was now the one standing closest to it. But in no way had I been prepared for this. I had thought maybe my biggest fear was clowns or vampires, but I had never expected this. My biggest fear was Draco Malfoy being dead? And everybody in this classroom now knew? I stopped screaming, just to look around in the room. Everybody was staring at me and the boggart in front of me, whispering to one another and shaking their heads. I didn't dare to look at Harry and Ron, knowing that confusion and disappointment would be plastered on their faces. Even Lupin just stared at me blankly. When Harry had seen a Dementor in his third year he had jumped in between them. But now that Malfoy practically had his private battles fought out in front of the class he didn't feel the need to do something against it? Why? Only because his last name was not Potter?
"Do you think she has a crush on him?" I heard Lavender whisper to Parvati. "Maybe that's why she's always crying."
I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly picked up Malfoy's wand, trying not to look at the corpse of him in front of me, and ran after him out of the room. There was absolutely no one I wanted to talk to right now. No one at all. Except maybe for Malfoy.
So I ran to the only place where no one had access to except for the both of us – our common room.
To be honest I hadn't expected him to be in the common room. I had expected him to be somewhere wandering around and cooling off his mind, but not him just sitting there on the couch, staring into the fireplace. So I had no idea what to say to him.
Hey Malfoy, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted you to know that your dad was a jerk and I'm happy you killed him? That would be messed up on so many levels.
Hey Malfoy, I know that you don't want to hear this, but killing your own father is not okay. No way, that wasn't even what I was thinking. Or was it? What did I think about him killing his own father and possibly his own mother as well? I searched my emotions and could only make out one, that overpowered all the others. Sympathy. Whatever had made him do it, there must have been a good reason for it, right? He wouldn't have just killed him because he felt like it, he must've killed him because he felt like it needed to be done. I knew that Malfoy was not a person to just kill someone without hesitance. Most people probably would think that it'd be easy for him, him being a former deatheater and all. But I doubted he ever even had killed someone before his father. When I had been tortured at his house in the war, the only thing that let me endure it was looking at him. While his crazy insane aunt had tortured the hell out of me and I had screamed like never before he had been standing there, not able to look. Flinching slightly whenever I had screamed. So I had focused on looking at him. And finally he had looked up to me, a thousand unspoken apologies in his eyes, pain. And I had tried to smile slightly at him, letting him know that I forgave him. Of course it hadn't been unseen by Lucius Malfoy.
"Draco, your turn." Was all he had murmured. Malfoy had pulled himself together and had pulled his walls back up.
"I think Aunt Bella is doing a great job frying that Mudblood without my help." He had just snarled, but I knew that it had just been an act.
"It's not up for discussion." his father had replied coldly.
Malfoy had looked like he was debating with himself. Debating if he should pull his wand and hex his father or if she should just go along with it. When he had laid his eyes on me for a second I had slightly nodded, letting him know that he should just do it.
With every Cruciatus curse that he had fired at me he had looked more on the verge of throwing up, and I had tried to hide my pain at least a little bit better, not wanting him to feel worse for it than he already had.
Thanks to that experience I knew that he was not a heartless monster like most of his family were or had been. I knew that he hadn't wanted to do all the things that they had made him do. His curse had been his family. So why did he kill his father? Because of that? Because he was a heartless bastard that made him do things he didn't want to? Or was there another reason?
I eyed the boy on the couch in front of me. He hadn't looked up from the fire place when I had walked in and he didn't seem to notice my presence yet. He looked paler than ever, if that was even possible, and his eyes were red, as if they were burning from unshed tears. Because he did not cry, Malfoys probably were to proud to cry. Before I could talk myself out of it, I sat next to him on the couch. He still didn't look up.
We just sat there for a while, not saying anything. It took me a minute to figure out what to say.
"You have the whole world believing you're the bad guy." I finally whispered. "Everybody just sees you for what you were. A deatheater, a follower of Voldemort."
He showed no sign that he could hear me.
"Some of them hate you for it, others... love the fact that you have a bad side. They think it's a turn-on." Stupid sluts. "But here's the thing, Malfoy. Those people are ignorant idiots!"
He finally looked up at my words, looking me deeply in the eyes. He was so beautiful with his storm-grey eyes, his glowing hair and fair skin. It almost took my breath away, but I had to keep talking.
"Everyone with some sense to them knows that none of what you did you wanted to do. They should know that you didn't just get the Dark Mark because you felt like it and thought it was so cool to be an accomplice of Voldemort. They should know that you had no other choice because your stupid family was already way too involved in it, for God's sake."
None of my words teased out any reactions out of him, but he was still looking at me and I could tell that he was listening.
"Even in our sixth year when Harry figured out that you were a deatheater I knew that it didn't make any difference and I tried to keep him from obsessing about it. In my head I was always just screaming at him that he should know better. And last year when I was in your house? It just made everything so much more obvious."
He flinched slightly at my words.
I continued. "I know that you're not a man to do bad things without caring. I know that you don't kill or torture as if it were nothing. And any other sane person should know that you didn't kill him for no reason. I at least know that whatever it was he did – he must have deserved it."
His lips twitched at my last words, but his face still looked pale and dead to me. Almost like the corpse I had seen a couple of minutes ago – but I didn't want to think about that.
I just sat there for another couple of minutes, waiting for a response, but his gaze had shifted back to the fire and stayed there. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want him to be alone, but at the same time I didn't want to be in the way if he had some serious thinking to do or something like that. After a while I then decided it was best to just leave him alone for a couple of minutes and go to my room, so I got up. Or rather I tried to get up, but I immediately felt a hand on my arm that was begging me not to go, so I sat down again. He was still staring into the flames, but his hand was still resting on my arm, making it tingle all over. For a couple of seconds it was again silent and I asked myself if we were just going to sit silently next to each other for the rest of the day. I would've done that, but he finally began to talk, without lifting his eyes from the fire. His voice was cold and weak when he murmured, "Two weeks after the final battle... we were all prosecuted by the new ministry... and my mother... she died... According to my father because she was weak... before she died he changed back into his normal self... after the final battle my mother and I had thought he had changed, but... he hadn't. And now that my mother was gone... he focused on me... and after a couple of weeks I couldn't take it anymore... I knew he would be coming for me eventually. When I came home from Blaise's one day and he was waiting for me... I didn't think. I just had so much hatred inside of me, I hated him so much... so I killed him." He said, the words coming out scattered.
A distant smile appeared on his face. "And for one moment I was so happy. Happier than I had been in the other 17 years of my life. It was funny because in that one moment I was exactly how he had always wanted me to be. And he didn't even see it coming and he wasn't even proud of me. And I was just fine with that. It was like a heavy burden was lifted off my shoulders. My whole life he had been the person that made me do things and forced me to be the way I was... and now he was gone."
He looked up to me, still smiling and I couldn't help but smile also. He seemed so... relieved.
"Didn't the ministry... didn't they figure it out?" I finally asked.
He shrugged a little. "They informed that traitor Tonks since she was the only one left in my family... I had already given up, I didn't care if they put me in Azkaban, all I cared about was that my father did not walk this earth anymore. I must have appeared like a madman to everyone else whenever I just laughed when they were talking about Azkaban... well Tonks surprisingly didn't want me to go to Azkaban, she just repeatedly said that I was family now and she didn't give up on me... I think she had some relations to the new minister, Shacklebolt. Somehow she convinced him of letting the accusation be dropped and hiding it from the media. Oh they would have loved something like that."
Gratitude towards Tonks rushed through me. She had tried to welcome him into her family after all that had happened. I had to give Tonks a big hug for that one.
"See... just like I told you. Everyone with some sense to them knows that it wasn't your own fault." I replied, smiling. He just nodded slowly.
Just one thing remained a mystery to me... what had Malfoy Senior been doing that was so bad that Malfoy Junior couldn't take it anymore? It couldn't just be his teaching of his own values, could it?
"What did he do... your father?" I asked cautiously.
His eyes immediately hardened. "He was being a very good deatheater." was all he replied.
"I don't understand."
He sighed and closed his eyes. "He killed them. He continued to kill Muggleborns and Muggles. Because he didn't believe they were worthy of life. When my mother or I tried to stop him he would just yell at us and petrify or crucius us, making us watch it. Then even when we didn't try to stop him he tortured us. And one day he went to far. I know that he didn't mean to, deep down he was just as heartbroken as I was. But he killed her. He killed his own wife. After that it got even worse with the Muggle killing and now when I tried to intervene he would force me to do it myself. He had never physically harmed me in any way before the battle. I have to give him that, at least he stayed unviolent towards me and my mother all those years. Psychological violence, yes. But physical, no. But that day I came home and he was waiting for me... I knew he was going to end my life as well. And I didn't want to let him win. To be honest, I didn't care if I lived or died. I just didn't want to let him win. After he had already escaped a sentence to Azkaban somehow, I didn't want him to get off that easily again. I don't even know how he or his friends managed to stay out of Azkaban. Must have bribed a lot of people. But I had to stop him."
I smiled sadly at him. "I believe you did the right thing. And I believe Tonks did the right thing when she made them drop the accusations. You don't deserve Azkaban, you deserve respect for what you did. I'm sure if people would know this all..."
He looked at me, bewilderment in his eyes. "Now that's just crazy, Granger! I told you this because I trust you not to tell anyone! Don't make me regret telling you or I'll make you regret it!"
And back he was to the people-threatening Malfoy. But he had said that he trusted me...
"I'm not going to tell anyone, Malfoy. I was just saying that maybe you should consider it." I got up, walking to my room since I had some thinking to do. Halfway to my room he said three words that I would never have expected him to say.
"Granger? Thank you."
I just smiled and made my way to my room.
"But don't think this will change anything between us." He then added, as if he was trying to convince himself of those words.
Oh but it already has changed something between us. I thought to myself, smiling.
A/N: Hey guys,
what do you think? I know that it's kind of the cliché that Lucius would abuse his family, but come on - who doesn't love clichés? Well I actually had planned on going the none-cliché way and change things up a little bit, but the lovely review from the lovely Kilala-kun made me change my plan. So do the same and make you and me happy people.
Love,
ShayleeRae
