Twenty minutes into third period, Machiavelli was ready to kill each and every last one of the hoodlums. "We've been through the balcony scene twice now. Does anybody have an opinion on it? The romance, the characters, the language, anything."
Silence. Several students fiddled with their pens.
"Anything?"
Somebody sneezed.
"Who sneezed? You! What do you think of the scene?"
"Um, it reminds me of when Edward visited Bella in her bedroom."
The only thing that saved Machiavelli's students from hearing a tirade of curses was a knock at the door.
"And here to save my sanity is Vice Principal Borgia. I'll be right outside. Please take this time to think up an opinion that is not related to pop culture."
He stepped out into the hall and pulled the door closed behind them. "Your arrival is timely, Vice Principal."
Cesare smiled. "I understand you had a visitor to your fifth period class the other day. A Principal?"
"And how did you know that?"
"My little sister mentioned it to me."
"Oh, right."
"So Principal Della Rovere did stop by? What did he want?"
"He wanted nothing."
"Nothing?"
Seeing the young Vice Principal so confused made Machiavelli's smile grow a little wider. "More precisely, he asked that I do and say nothing."
He could practically see the cogs turning in Cesare's head. "He asked that you do and say nothing in the event of a great something?"
"You're far too clever to be a Vice Principal."
"The job has made me so. So what did you promise the Principal?"
"And why should I tell the Vice Principal what I told the Principal?"
Again, the gears turned. "I understand you and Mr. Savonarola do not get along?"
"He believes his is the only true teaching style. He would see the whole school ranting and raving like lunatics."
"What if I promised you that in exchange for your support of my father during this difficult time, Mr. Savonarola would find himself in the unemployment line?"
Machiavelli held back his joy. "What about the teacher's union? He's got tenure."
"Leave the union to me. What did you promise him?"
"The same he offered me; nothing." He grabbed Cesare's arm and leaned closer to whisper into the man's ear. "If these past few days have made you clever, the coming weeks will thrust genius upon you."
Cesare nodded and they parted ways.
The second half of fourth period was interesting. Lucrezia felt like a mob boss and the thought made her giggle. It felt good to have something to think about other than her home life. "So when do we want to do this?" she asked her cohorts in crime. She didn't worry about being overheard; the lunchroom was in its normal state of pandemonium.
"We should do it as soon as possible," Francesca said. "What good comes from delay?"
"What about tonight?" Paulo said. "During the football game?"
"I'm meeting Djem for the game tonight," Lucrezia said.
"See if you can't slip away from him for a few minutes." Paulo really hoped he didn't sound too jealous.
"I can do that."
Francesca thought of something. "The school will be locked then."
Lucrezia smirked. "Leave that to me."
"I still haven't found them," Dr. Burchard wailed. The office was a mess; papers were strewn everywhere and folders containing the paperwork necessary for running a school were knocked over. None of this mattered; the only thing of importance was the mystery of his missing glasses.
Cesare rubbed his temples. "Dr. Burchard, I'm sure they're somewhere around. Maybe you left them at home."
"I have two sets; one for home and one for here. I keep the one here in my desk in a case designed for glasses. I put them in there every night and lock the desk drawer. Unless my glasses sprouted legs, kicked the drawer open and walked away, somebody stole them!"
"Any suspects?"
"The whole student body."
Before Cesare could reside, Mrs. Bonadeo walked into the office. "You wanted to see me, Mr. Borgia?"
"Yes. Dr. Burchard, please excuse me. We'll continue the search for your glasses later." He ushered Mrs. Bonadeo into his office to talk about contacting the Department of Social Services on behalf of a student.
Fifth was Micheletto's free period and he usually spent it grading papers or something equally boring. Today was his first day on the anti-depressant and the side effects were kicking in something hellish and concentration was not an option.
Ursula Bonadeo was just exiting the office when he arrived. She smiled at him briefly, before hurrying on her way, leaving him alone with the Vice Principal.
One look at Cesare's face said it all. "You're having a bad day."
"Yeah. It started when my little sister told me she's going on a date and you decided to let Della Rovere be your new Dom. It didn't get any better after that."
The accusation stung although he didn't show it. "Possessive."
"So tell me it's not true. Tell me you're not leaving me for someone who can strike a whip harder. Tell me your mine."
He never would have figured Cesare for the insecure type. "I don't know anyone who can wield a whip better. You're stuck with me."
"Seems I am. But tell me, why did you let him do that?"
"I wanted him distracted."
"Distracted?"
"You wanted Maria silenced right? Trust me. After the game tonight, everything will be fine."
After a second, Cesare nodded.
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and they broke apart. While he was pulling on his shirt, Cesare motioned for Micheletto to hide under his desk. The History teacher hopped over and scrambled underneath. After a few seconds, Cesare leaned over to toss him his jacket and left shoe.
"Come in!"
Lucrezia's voice filled the room. "C…I mean, Mr. Borgia?"
"Hey Lucrezia, is everything okay?"
"Not really. Um, your shirt's on backwards."
Micheletto thought that was pretty interesting, given that Cesare's shirt had buttons and a collar.
"So it is. But that's not why you came here."
"Not really. I'm just kind of bummed out. Mom and Dad, you know?"
"Yeah, I know."
"Gioffre's upset too."
"I bet."
"Anyways, um, I was kinda hoping for a hug. I know we're in school and all but,"
"Anytime, Sis."
Underneath the desk it was dusty. Evidently, the janitor wasn't too meticulous because the dust bunnies were mating like real ones. Micheletto sneezed.
"Bless you," both siblings said at the same time.
"I didn't sneeze," Lucrezia said.
"I mean, 'thanks, Sis'," Cesare said. "Sorry, natural instinct makes me say 'Bless you' after hearing a sneeze, even my own."
"Weirdo. Gioffre's my only normal sibling."
"So he is. Welp, huggy-time is over. The bell's about to ring."
The door shut a few minutes later and both men let out a huge sigh of relief.
"It was better than the time Della Rovere stopped by and you shoved me in the closet for an hour," Micheletto said after he crawled out from behind the desk and brushed the dust from his hair.
"I'd forgotten about that. Good times."
"I pretended it was an iron maiden. Now where were we?"
Cesare kissed him, biting his lip just hard enough to draw blood, then broke away. "Sorry, bell's about to…"
The bell rang.
Outside the administration office, Lucrezia met Paulo and Francesca.
"Did you get it?" Francesca bit her lip.
Lucrezia smirked and held up the key to the school she had stolen from Cesare's office.
Author's notes: shit's gonna hit the fan during that game tonight.
An iron maiden is a medieval torture device.
