Amy's p.o.v***

Bobobo and Don were several steps ahead of Beauty and me, no one really talking, more enjoying the nice breeze and beautiful, lush field of long grass. I took in a deep breath and sighed, this being one of our very few moments to relax and actually enjoy ourselves, no one to fight or be harmed by. I looked off into the distance, my hair flowing across my face as I smiled.

I could almost let my hair down-

"HYAAAAA!" I was thrown back as Don smashed into me, rolling far ahead of me as I landed on the soft grass. After things stopped spinning and multiplying, I sat up and glared at him, shouting,

"What the hell was that for?" He spun to face me, ruby red lipstick on his face with way-too-much bright blue eyeshadow and mascara.

"You wanna do the whole 'beautiful-heroine-looking-off-in-t he-distance-with-her-bangs-flowing- across-her-eyes' trick, hunny? Well that's not gonna fly with me! Everyone knows I'm the main character in this fanfic, so just go back to being a quiet badass that couldn't seduce a snail!"He shouted, a vein poking out of his forehead. I raised my eyebrow at him and frowned, knowing that I certainly wasn't a 'beautiful heroine', and that he wasn't the main character.

"Me me me me! Me! Me! Me!" Don shouted, pounding on my head with his fists.

It didn't hurt as much it was annoying, and I was three more hits away from stabbing him when Bobobo shouted,

"CUT!" Don and I both looked over at him, now sitting in a director's chair with a beaver holding one of those things directors use to stop actors, a teddy bear holding a plate of spaghettie next to him.

"How did I do?"Don asked, on his knees in front of Bobobo with teary eyes.

I stood up and rubbed my head, Beauty pulling my hand down to make sure I didn't have any bruises.

"You did amazing. Best I've seen all day. Here's the script for the movie, it's about a cannible that gets high off of bath salts and eats anouther man's face."Bobobo said to Don, handing him a scrip that had Japanese writing.

"Why's it in Japanese? This is an American fanfic-"

"Hush! You get to play the part of the damsel in distress since that's your only role in this story!"Bobobo shouted.

ME? The Damsel?

"Hey I think you've got me and Beauty mixed up!"I exclaimed, being picked up and pulled behind a stage. When did that get here? Backstage Bobobo changed into something resembling a ripped zombie shirt and pants, covered in fake blood that smelled mysteriously like ketchup, his face painted with tiny hearts.

"I'm pretty sure zombies don't have hearts on their faces..."I mummbled, but was ignored.

"Oh, I don't know if I can do this! It's...it's too big of a crowd!"Don exclaimed, peaking through the curtain.

"Big? It's only Beauty and a couple teddy bears!"I exclaimed, looking through above him at the small audience seated in fold-out chairs.

"C'mon, we're a low-budget film what do you expect?"Bobobo exclaimed, giving the curtains a strong yank so that they opened immediatly.

I was shoved onto stage and fell on my butt, wincing and looking down.

"How did I get in this?"I exclaimed, seeing that I was in a big black ballgown. I looked up and saw Don Patch running towards me, apparently the zombie now. I glared and almost kicked him, when Bobobo picked him up and spun around, launching Don into the backdrop. He then dropped to a knee, microphone in hand, and began to sing 'Hero' by Enrique Inglesias.

"I can be your hero baby! I can kiss away the pain oh yeah!"He sang, a hand out to me.

I blushed deeply and stuttered, unsure of what to say or do. Thankfully, Don chose this moment to re-appear, but no longer a zombie. He now wore a red dress with running mascara as a hand flew to his mouth, crying.

"Bobobo, how could you? I-I thought...you and I...had something special!" As he said the last part, he ran at Bobobo and gave him a loud, hard smack right on the face. There was a pause as Bobobo slowly faced forward, a red mark on his right cheek.

A long moment passed as he and Don looked into eachother's eyes, Don's watery and Bobobo's still behind his sunglasses. Then...

"It's just not gonna work out. You're too demanding and burn spaghetti."Bobobo said calmly, and Don got shocked expression, then spun to face me and glared, fists clenched.

"You!"He spat, and I stood up, brushing myself off.

"Yeah?"I asked airily, looking up as he reached a hand up to smack me. Before he could, Bobobo threw a mic at me and shouted,

"Defeat him with the power of music!" I twitched a bit, confused and awkward.

"But I can't play an instrument!"I exclaimed.

"Sing!"Bobobo shouted, and I shook my head adamantly.

No, I didn't sing. In fact, the last time I sang was to sing Beauty a lullabye a few years ago. Instead, I got an even better idea. I looked at Don with an emotionless face and chucked the mic at his head, Don pausing a second before falling to the ground, unconcious. The audience applauded and Bobobo grabbed my hand, raising it and bowing.

"Okay, I'm done."I said quickly, jumping off stage and walking over to Beauty, who was looking up into the trees.

"What's up?"I asked, and she looked back at us, Bobobo and Don now in normal clothes, and had a troubled look on her face.

"Listen up guys, I think someone's following us!"She exclaimed, and Don gasped, jumping into Bobobo's arms, only to have Bobobo not even try to catch him.

"Who do you think it is?"I asked, having had the same feeling.

"I don't know, maybe a hit man or a car salesman!"She said, and I glared around. Yes, both would be potentially deadly.

"No."Bobobo said, all of us turning and looking up at him. He crossed his arms and said, "It's the mean green soup aliens!"

"Oh, I gotta hear this one..."I mused, as Bobobo clenched his hands into fists and exclaimed,

"They're mean things, and their favorite food is rice soup! I hear they're trying to invade our planet to make everyone eat the stuff!"

...

"Ya know, I'm actually used to it by now. That's the sad part."I mused, Beauty, Don and I looking at eachother and shrugging, for once all on the same page. Bobobo fell to his kneese and covered his mouth, crying.

"You guys don't believe a word I said!" I shook my head, closing my eyes for a second, only to open them to a crazy sight.

A tall mean green alien with tentacles and a large head holding a bowl of rice in one hand an a spoon in the other was standing over Bobobo, asking in a husky voice,

"Hey friend, want some soup?" I screamed in shock and exclaimed,

"He was telling the truth? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Bobobo took one of the tentecles and said in a sappy, teary voice,

"Oh Convetionator, thank you for traveling through all those galaxies just for little old me!"

"...It's Connie!"The alien exclaimed, punching Bobobo so hard he flew backwards, legs in the air. I grit my teeth and exclaimed,

"Bobobo!" The alien turned to us and held up a picture of a boy about Beauty's age, spikey grey hair and black clothes.

"Any of you know this guy?"

"Hey!"Beauty exclaimed,"That's the guy who saved me!"

I looked back, seeing the pale young boy and wondering why this large alien was after him in the first place. Did that make him a good guy or a bad guy?

"This child is under arrest for faliur to comply...He wont eat soup! Not with tuna not with samon! Not even with Chocolate! I need human help, any information will be rewarded with soup-" A huge chunk of french bread went flying into the bowl he heldd up, tilting sideways and hitting him in the head, causing a large bump to form.

"Stale bread as a weapon? Hmmm, interesting. Who threw the loaf?"The alien shouted in a deep voice, and I felt Bobobo shove anouther loaf of french bread into my hand.

"Her, it was her! Bad Amy!"He shouted, pointing to me as the alien looked over, glaring. I gaped and looked from the alien to Bobobo and back.

"Hey! Bobobo I'm gonna kill you! It wasn't me I swear!"I exclaimed, Bobobo turning a bit away from me and poking his fingers togeather as he pouted.

"Hm. You're mean! You take your role as 'protective-dark-pasted-heroine-who-can-barely-stand-her-friends' way too seriously!"He complained, and I facepalmed. How did I put up with these guys? I have to talk to the author about my salary, because I do NOT get paid enough to fight aliens.

"Hm, well I DO rather enjoy rice soup."Don Patch said, tapping his mouth with a finger innocently.

"Wait!"We all turned to Beauty, who had a paniced look on her face, "That boy that the alien is looking for, he's the one who saved me from that hair hunter! He's a bad guy, honest!" I switched a glare to the alien and nodded, taking a step forward only to have Bobobo grab my arm. I looked up at him, confused and mildly angry.

"Now, girls, you know better than to judge soup crazy aliens!"He scolded, and I gave him a surprised look. He was on this thing's side? But it was so obviously a bad guy!

Was he...not going to side with us? I pulled my arm away from him, anger flashing in my chest. He was going to let this bad guy go free when he was hunting the person who saved Beauty? How could he? I pointed the loaf of bread at him angrily and shouted,

"Hey! He's a bad guy! Just look at him!" I signaled over to the alien, who was wiggling and laughing, saying,

"Yep, I'm bad!"

Bobobo looked over, a serious look on his face.

"See? I mean...you never let a bad guy hurt us before..."I took a breath, not showing that, if Bobobo did indeed side against us with a bad guy, it would cause some severe teenage angstiness. I felt a hand on my face and looked up at Bobobo, who gave me a kind smile.

"Hey, is that my style, kid? I'll beat the snot outta that guy!"He assured me, and I couldn't stop the smile that broke across my face. That's my Bobobo.

"Not alone you aren't."I said, winking and turning towards the alien, who glared back and threw the bowl of soup at me. I paused, twitching, soup splattering all over me and dripping down my hair. Hot soup. He threw. Hot soup. At me. And messed up. My hair? Oh. Hell. No. I felt my aura fan out around me, purple and black, as I crushed the loaf to dust in my hand. Bobobo and Don Patch 'ohhhh'ed and from my perifrial vision, I saw that they were dressed like female 'sistas', snapping their fingers and saying in high voices,

"Ohhh, you gonna get it!"

"Can you guys be serious?"Beauty exclaimed, but all I was really focused on was this alien guy. I reached back and pulled out two fistfulls of needles from my back pockets, holding them in my hands like knives and glaring cooly at him, head up.

"Wait a second...I know those weapons...and that tattoo! You're...You're...a Scorpion Fist Master!"The alien exclaimed, shivering with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

I got more intense, the aura growing and my pony tail whipping in the air behind me.

"Can't we work out some sort of deal? I mean, I'm sure you like rice, right? Well why not add broth! It's the perfect combination!"The alien Connie tried to explain, backing up a bit. Bobobo appeared out of nowhere, gripping Connie's head and glaring cooly.

"Fist of the Nosehair, Olympic Javelin Thrower!"Bobobo shouted, picking Connie up and chucking him into the air, screaming intensely. I smiled and aimed, then threw one fistful of needles, then the other.

"Fist of the Scorpion, Angry Birds!"I exclaimed, as Connie looked down, eyes widening as the needles made bird sounds and repeatedly stabbed at him in the air. I sighed and smiled at the sight, draping an arm around Beauty.

"Wow sis, I never knew you were so strong!"She exclaimed, smiling up at me. I looked down and grinned, then up at Bobobo, who was walking over to us.

"Couldn't have done it without our Bo-tector."I said, and he placed a hand on my head.

Before he could talk, I got a shoe to the face as Don Patch air-kicked me, causing me to fall down with a large mark on my face. He tugged on my ponytail with full-on drag queen make up, shouting,

"Stop trying to be the main character!" I would have hurt Don, but if I had I wouldn't have gotten to see Connie fall from the sky right on Don's head, plummeting him into the ground right in front of me.

Connie's face was filled with bumps and scrapes, tongue hanging loosely out as he moaned in pain. I chuckled and looked down, hearing a cellphone ringing. I tilted my head to the side, confused, as I pulled out the phone and pressed 'speaker' so that we could all hear this man.

"Hello?"I asked.

"Who is this? Pizza Hut?"A deep voice asked.

"Um, no."

"Where's Connie?"

"Dying I believe. May I leave a message?"

"...Haha, I know that voice anywhere..."I froze, remembering that laugh. No. No how do I take him off speaker? My adrenaline pumped as I quickly scrambled, but all too late. "It's nice to hear from you, Amy. Kill anyone lately?" I hung up immediatly and chucked the phone in frustration at Connie's head, creating a lump next to the one caused by the bread.

No. I looked at the ground, near tears, near screaming. I was such an idiot! Why didn't I look at caller ID? Or at least not put it on speaker? They heard everything! Not like Bobobo didn't know most of it, but that last comment... 'kill anyone lately'? Damn... I was sick with myself, my stomach churning and my hands gripping fistfulls of grass. I couldn't look at them, none of them, not even Beauty. I felt someone kneel in front of me and place a hand on my shoulder.

"C'mon partner, let's talk this over a nice hot bowl of rice soup."Bobobo said, in a horrible southern drawl.

I closed my eyes, pain etching through me. I couldn't, not only because I couldn't look at Beauty's face if I told her what I used to do, but also because I couldn't stand to bring back the memories, couldn't stand the guilt already rising in me. I shook my head. My whole past, the one thing I was trying to hide, the darkest days that ruined me since the day I was contacted by Zar Baldy Bald, since everything got turned upside down, since I was fourced to do something that nearly made me want to kill myself instead of bringing harm to those the Crome Dome wanted out.

"Secret secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone!"Don Patch shouted, and I cringed.

"...Sis? What...what's wrong? How did he know you?"Beauty asked, and I looked up at the big-eyed, pink-haired girl that I'd seen grow up. It broke my heart to have to tell her what I did...what I was responsible for... But she deserved to know, and there was no getting around it. She'd heard the message, and it was her life that I'd ruined. She might hate me, but looking into her innocent face now, she had to know. She deserved it, even if it killed me.

I stood up and looked at the three, then said painfully,

"Can I wash this soup off first? It's burning my retnas."