The Decisions That He Made For Himself

Chapter 8

Awakening From a Dream For More

The next day he was visited by Hawk again. He was fed his normal meal of soup and told that a decision was close to being final.

He inquired of where Fox had gone to, but did not receive a truthful answer. He was disappointed and this was strange. He knew it was odd of him to feel the sense of loss in his absence.

Of course he was just a tool, an instrument used for release. Of course he was nothing more to the fox masked man, how could it be anything different. Several times he had told himself that it didn't matter what the man thought of him because he wasn't him, but he had always known that this wasn't true.

He had hoped it was not just a fuck. The selfish part of him had hoped that the heartache the man had felt yesterday as he was inside him was over Sasuke and nothing else. He wanted to be the one to make that man feel such hurt and pain that he had sensed in him.

He felt the hawk's eyes on him. He let him watch him and he sat still. He let out a sigh.

"I used to use a hawk, you know. I used it for scouting and its sharp eyes," he said to the man guarding him.

"I know. We watched in the sky for any sight of it for months." The voice was filled with old memories that begged to be told.

"You knew and you looked for me?"

"Yes."

"Who are you?"

"We've gone over this before. My name is not for you to know."

"A name doesn't matter without the character attached to it. You knew me if you looked for me. If you didn't, then it meant that he had asked you to. And if he asked you then you know him."

He tilted his head. He wanted a reaction about the figures he had just been able to draw in his mind.

"You are speaking in riddles again."

"You know him. Everyone knows him. You could tell him for me." Perhaps Hawk would tell him. Perhaps he would know after all. He was giddy and he was excited. His hope returned by an inch.

"Tell him what?"

"You can tell him that I love him. The fox wouldn't but you will because you know it's something important." He felt dizzy.

"Who is it that you mean?" This man already knew the answer. He was asking to be polite and out of pity. He knew that Sasuke wanted to talk about it.

"You know. Everyone knows. Who else could it be?"

"Don't be complicated. If you want me to pass on a message you have to tell me who it is for, for me to even consider it." Sasuke understood now. The hawk just wanted to hear Sasuke say it. He would get some sense of satisfaction from hearing the name.

"Uzamaki. Will you tell him for me?" he felt desperate and it showed in his voice.

"What is it that you want me to say?"

"To tell him that I love him and that I have truly missed him. Tell him after all these years and after so much time apart, he's still my closest friend." He hung his head. He would not allow himself to become over emotional in front of this man that he did not know as well as the fox.

"I will see what I can do."

With that the conversation was over. There was nothing else to exchange between the two males and so the routine that he was used to continued. He was fed. He was watched. He was helped to urinate and he was sat back down in his chair. He was disappointed in general.

After he was once again alone in his darkness, he fell into a dream.

He landed in a field in the middle of nowhere. There were no trees or landmarks around him. There was nothing that he could use to determine where this place was located within his head.

It was a rather large field with grass that swayed in a breeze that he could see but not feel. There was no sound in this place.

He assumed that he was alone and that his subconscious had created this place for him to be at peace. It was peaceful. It was calm and it was much brighter than the darkness he was in right now.

He had no blindfold or bindings. He felt and looked the same as he ever had and he could feel that he was his normal self in this dream. On his body he wore his familiar Uchiha clan emblem and his katana strapped to his waist.

In the distance of all that the field covered, he saw him. It was not him. His silver hair stood in its usual position and the posture was still lazy and awkward. As the figure drew closer, the only difference in this man from the real one that he remembered was that this one had both eyes uncovered and ready to use. One was dark and the other red.

The red one spun its black shapes within it and focused on him. This was a gesture he had seen the real man use several times as he readied himself for a fight. There would be no fight though. He could feel it. There would be words, but there would not be an altercation.

Perhaps the red eye was shown to him in warning. Perhaps it was simply to watch him better. Perhaps it was only there because that was what his unconscious mind brought forth for him to see.

The man did not speak and so he decided to break the silence himself.

"What should I do?" he asked, his hands slowly rising to land in his own hair. If he was going to see his former teacher in a dream, he was going to get to business and ask all that he needed to.

"What do you think that you should do?" A voice he hadn't heard in a very long time echoed throughout the field.

"If I knew, I wouldn't ask. I'm so lost." He began to play with the strands of hair between his fingers, twisting it this way and that. It had been quite a while since he could use his hands or do something as pointless as this.

"You are only lost because you think there is no way out. There isn't, if that's what you're going to ask. You came here yourself. We did not bring you back and so the punishment they give you will be your own doing." The figure swayed in the breeze as if he had no weight to him and continued on for Sasuke's sake.

"Since you came here on your own, it also means that they will take it into consideration. You've cooperated so far, maybe they don't hate you. But maybe they do, I don't really know."

He knew this did not answer his question but it still made him feel a sense of relief.

"What should I do?" he asked again.

"Nothing. There is nothing that you can do but show them that you're not going to be dangerous to them anymore. That is all there is left."

He glanced down at the blades of grass that licked at his feet. He felt disappointed when he couldn't feel them tickling his skin.

He would have asked more. He would have contemplated all that had been said to him by this dream Kakashi. He had no time to do any of the two.

Suddenly the dream slipped away from him and the darkness covered him again. He was no longer asleep. He moved his head trying to feel around for what had woken him.

When he located it, he let a small smile twist at his lips. The fox had returned.

He said nothing. He waited. He waited for anything to come.

Fox advanced on him, the heat radiating from his body. It was an intense heat that bled through the clothing he wore and into Sasuke where he sat on his wooden chair.

The animal in the room said nothing. It reached around him once more and untethered him from the chair. It picked him up and brought him to the wall as it had done the day before.

Once again his spine was against the wall and once again his pants were undone.

The lips returned to him again but were different than before. They were still raw and needy, but they were slower this time. The tongue invaded his mouth and moved around as if the other man was tasting every part of him. He felt self-conscious. He knew that he would taste sour to the fox. The taste of his own mouth out powered the other man's, and so he did not have a clue of the fox's taste.

Again, he kissed back. He matched the movements with his own tongue and found that this brought the fox pleasure. He moaned into the mouth over his and felt a hot hand snake up the back of his shirt. It caressed his waist where his back had not been pressed into the wall.

This lasted for several minutes, but Sasuke could tell that Fox was impatient. He wanted to give him what he had come for. He thrust his hips up into the other man as best as he could to demonstrate that he was alright with this.

He was hard. The contact and the friction he felt as he pressed himself into the other's hips as hard as he could, sent dizziness to his mind.

He felt the Fox press into him in response and he could feel an ungloved hand pull his trousers down. The hand caressed his stomach under his shirt and then made its way down to his hardened member.

He moaned at the heat. Hadn't he wanted to feel the skin of that hand as it wiped at his mouth from under a glove?

The hand pumped him softly at first, but then picked up the pace. It caused Sasuke to breathe loud and rapid. He could also tell that the other man was enjoying doing this to him as well. He sensed that it was turning him on and making him sweat.

He couldn't help himself. "Naru," he moaned.

He expected the fox to stop. He supposed that when this last happened, it had not been a problem when he had said the name as he climaxed. He also supposed that it had been a natural reaction, but this time he expected the man to stop and become upset. He wanted the man to be upset that he was thinking about someone else as he did this to him.

But he didn't stop. Instead he touched him with more enthusiasm it seemed. He kissed Sasuke's neck and held his waist tighter. He breathed into his ear and bit the earlobe.

He anticipated the same pain that he had felt before. He thought that the man would enter him fast and harsh again. He was surprised when he felt the hand leave his cock and three fingers enter his mouth.

He knew what this action was for. He sucked on them and rubbed them with his tongue. He did this as sensually as he possibly could in the position he was in and he made sure that they were coated well with his saliva.

When they were slowly pulled from the warmth of his lips, he felt a wet fingertip rub on the puckered outside of his entrance. It moved in small circles and brought a tickling feeling to his stomach.

His lips were kissed with a tenderness that hadn't been shown before and the finger pressed itself into him. The pain was sharp, but after the time before it didn't bother him as much as it probably should have.

Fox moved his finger in and out of him while rubbing his walls gently. His breath was heavy and excited as it landed against Sasuke's neck.

When he felt as if he was stretched enough, he entered his other digits and used the same technique to loosen Sasuke's hole.

Sasuke began to enjoy the feeling of the fingers inside him and he moved his face around in search of the man's neck. When he found it, he bit him softly in response. It was a salty and masculine taste. It was arousing and it made his lips tingle.

The fingers were removed and he heard Fox spit into his hand as he had done the first time they had done this. The tip pressed against him and pushed inside.

It hurt so much less this time and he found that he truly was enjoying it. It was pushed into him as deeply as he could take it and it made him feel full.

Fox thrust into him with the same pace as he had done with his fingers and was able to find that spot inside him much quicker than he had before. He pushed himself hard against it and Sasuke could not help but cry out.

With each movement, this spot within him was brushed and pressed and the pleasure jolted through him like static. He could not help but picture blue eyes upon him.

With this thought, he felt his release becoming closer. Again he couldn't hold back, "Naruto. Naruto. Naruto." He said the name aloud like a mantra.

He could feel fox's cock tense and twitch inside him at this and he knew that he too, was close to his own climax. He ground his hips as much as he could and used his hands against the wall to hold himself up as he arched his back. The hands on his hips pushed him down hard and rough.

"Sasuke," a name was whispered into his ear followed by a moist tongue.

He imagined that it was him that was calling out to him and it became too much. The pleasure became overwhelming and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. He moaned a loud and throaty moan as he came against the other man.

He felt light headed and exhausted. Fox thrust into him a few more times and he felt the hot liquid fill him up again. He could hear the guard catch his breath as he leaned his chin against Sasuke's face.

When he was ready to move him, he carried Sasuke back to his wooden chair and sat him down. Instead of replacing his clothing and leaving him alone in the silence as quickly as he had done before, he crouched down in between his legs. It was all Sasuke could do to keep himself from becoming aroused again as he felt the man's presence in front of him.

The fox pulled something that sounded like cloth from a pocket and began to clean him up. The fabric felt soft against his skin and he found that it was almost comforting.

When the sticky liquid was wiped from both the outside and inside of him, he heard the lid of a metal container being twisted off. The contents of the container smelled of mint and aloe. He couldn't help but think that he had smelled something similar before.

A cold lubricated finger entered him again without warning and he felt himself jump. He let out a large breath as he calmed himself. The solution that he was being coated with left him feeling soothed and less sore.

"It will help you heal." Fox said into the darkness before his eyes.

When he was finished, Sasuke could hear the lid being replaced and the container disappearing back where it had come from.

He didn't expect it, the lips on the inside of his bare thigh. They were warm and still kiss swollen from earlier. He hung his head in attempt to attract attention from the man.

He heard the man move and then felt those lips on his own. He said nothing despite the words in his head.

He could then feel his pants being replaced and suddenly felt unhappy that it surely meant that Fox would be leaving him soon.

He was right in his assumption. The man stood and loomed over him, his strong hands resting on Sasuke's shoulders. He said nothing. He removed his hands and Sasuke could feel him turn and leave him behind to sit within his darkness.