Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT. OKAY? I DON'T. I JUST DON'T. You can't prove anything. Shifty eyes.


March 27th, 2017

I can see her so clearly in my head… the smooth skin, the bright smile, the gentle touches… I can picture myself cascading my hand slowly down her arm, hand getting slower as I start to run out of room. I don't want to lose contact. Not yet. Not ever. I can remember her smell – her sweet smell. Like candy apples and… something else. Something flowery and familiar. I can feel her breath, warm against my neck. Her lips feel soft against my pulse point and I close my eyes, my other hand grasping at her waist tightly. I can imagine the way she sounds, a small gasp escaping her throat as she pushes up into me. I can feel the softness of her hair along my cheek, dragging my face down to meet her eye level. I can see her deep, sparkling irises. The windows into her soul that she opens up for only me, letting me in… I imagine her breath again, heavy against my cheek and she leans up closer, eyelids fluttering. I can almost hear her voice as she begins to close the distance between our lips. "Tori…"

"Tori!"

"Wha, what!?" I gasp, falling back on my chair. I groan, my eyes meeting the ceiling after my back roughly hit the floor of the studio. Not a fun way to be brought back to reality. Vik and Nicky's faces appear above me, Vik looking concerned and Nicky looking amused.

"You okay there, Tori?" Vik asks, reaching a hand out. I grab it gratefully and he pulls me up effortlessly. I brush myself off and let out a breath.

"Yeah… I'm good." I sigh.

"You sure there, T? I mean… you look a little flushed." Nicky grins. I roll my eyes, standing my chair back up and looking at my lyrics that I barely even worked on before I got lost in thought. "What were you thinking of?" She continues.

"Nothing." I mumble, sitting back down.

"More like… Who." Vik jumps in. I whip my head around to gape at him and his stupid grinning face.

"Vik!" I snap. Nicky, however, looks at him with pride.

"I knew I was friends with you for a reason." Nicky smirks, resting an elbow on his shoulder. She turns her attention back to me. "I think the question is who were you thinking about?"

"Leave me alone." I mutter, trying to get back to writing.

"Was it… someone with an animal name? Let's see… Fish? No, that's not it… Bird? Nope, no… Dog? Ooh close but I don't think that's it either…" Nicky ponders teasingly. I let out a huff, smacking my head against the desk.

"Nicky…" I groan. She snaps her fingers together.

"Oh! I know! I bet you were thinking about someone named Cat!" Nicky announces, and I groan again. "And judging by how zoned out you were, and how red your face is, and how you were chewing on your lip a little bit… it must have been an intense daydream." Even though my face is against the wood of my desk, I can almost hear her wink. More groaning.

"Okay, okay. We've had our fun." Vik chuckles. Ugh, at least he's still sort of on my side…

"So has T, apparently." Nicky states.

"You are the devil." I grumble.

"Best comparison I've ever heard." Vik grins, and I lift my head in time to see him walk away to shuffle through some filing cabinets. "But actually, lay off her. Tori knows not to have those kinds of fantasies about people due to be married to someone else. Right?"

"R-right." I stammer. Nicky lets out a huff.

"Way to make her feel bad, Vik." She shakes her head.

"I'm just saying. It's a bad path to follow. If you let yourself get consumed with the fantasy, you'll eventually be unable to stand the reality. Trust me. There's a fine line between friendship and relationship… You don't want to cross that here." Vik warns.

"And why not?" Nicky scoffs.

"No, he's right… I can't let myself think about her that way. It'll get weird when I'm around her and I can't…" I trail off, running my hands through my hair. Vik frowns, coming back over to pat me on the shoulder.

"It'll be alright. Just hold out a little longer. These feelings will fade. Don't let them control you. It's your brain." Vik assures me. I give him a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Vik."

"I still think you should just bang her." Nicky shrugs, walking away. Vik snaps his head towards her.

"You have no morals, do you?" He sighs.

"Since when are morals fun?" Nicky calls back. Vik shakes his head, looking back at me.

"Why don't you head on home now?" He suggests.

"What? No, I hardly got any headway on new music. I'll be focused. I promise." I state.

"It's not that. Have you been paying attention to what the news is saying about the weather recently?" Vik asks. I look outside. Even though it's still pretty early, the lighting in the city seems to be dark and foreboding. Even with the lazy flakes of snow gently drifting to the ground.

"Yeah. There's supposed to be a snowstorm tonight, right?" I recall. Turns out Cat was spot-on when she said the weather could be bi-polar. It feels like just a few days ago it was nice and sunny and almost something that resembled warmth… oh wait, that's because it was like that a few days ago.

"Exactly." Vik nods. "I don't want to get caught up in work when it starts to pick up. What was it supposed to be?"

"Thirty to forty centimetres, I think." Nicky answers from the booth.

"That was it. Not a big deal for more northern places, but here that amount is enough to cause some problems. They're warning people to stay in and keep warm." Vik explains. I let out a huff.

"It's almost April." I sigh.

"That's Southern Ontario weather for you." Vik shrugs. "Anyway, head home. Stay safe. Call if you need anything." Vik gives me a hug.

"Thanks. I'll see you when the ice age is over?" I inquire.

"If we find enough mammoth meat to sustain us." He grins.

"Take care, kid. Have fun daydreaming." Nicky smirks.

"Have fun daydreaming about me daydreaming." I call out as I start to walk out the door, hearing Vik's laugh echoing in my ears.

It really is cold out. Just when I think I'm used to it, Canada seems to try and push my limit. But I think it's the wind that's really getting to me. Wind chill, the news called it. Makes it feel a lot colder than it actually is, and it's what can freeze your skin just for being outside too long. I'm very grateful when I get to the warmth of my car, and then the warmth of my musty apartment building. I know it's an illusion, though. It's just slightly warmer in here than it is outside, and I'll be shivering soon enough. Heading up to my apartment, I run into my sweet neighbour, carting a bunch of bags behind her.

"Ms. Wilkinson! Do you need any help?" I ask, rushing over to take a bag from her.

"Oh Tori! Thank you, dear. That's very kind of you. If you could just help me bring these bags down to the lobby so I can load them into the cab…" She requests.

"Certainly." I nod, grabbing a couple bags and leading back to the elevator. "You're not moving, are you?"

"Goodness, no. I'm staying at a local home until this storm blows over. Usually I can hold my own but, as you've noticed, this place doesn't have the best insulation. Plus, the home is having a snowstorm bingo tournament. I can win a new crockpot." Ms. Wilkinson grins.

"I'm sure you will win it." I laugh, helping her off the elevator.

"I would invite you but… there is an age restriction…" She sighs.

"That's okay, Ms. Wilkinson. I'll be fine." I assure her.

"Make sure you are. Oh, and I left you a present outside your door. I hope you like mushroom quiche." Ms. Wilkinson says hopefully.

"You're the absolute best!" I smile, and she smiles back.

"It's no trouble. I wanted you to have a warm meal for tonight… now just help me get all this to the taxi…" Ms. Wilkinson mumbles.

"Tori! Hi!" I hear. I look at the door to see a rosy-cheeked Cat. I blink at her, having not expected her.

"Oh, it's your friend! Cat, right?" Ms. Wilkinson grins.

"Yeah! I um… You look surprised. I texted you but I guess you haven't looked at your phone yet." Cat shifts slightly. "Here, let me help." She offers, also taking one of Ms. Wilkinson bags after dropping her own huge bag.

"Ah, you girls are so helpful and lovely. And they say there's no hope for the new generation." Ms. Wilkinson chuckles. Both Cat and I reach the outside and locate the cab, going to load it up. I'm happy to help but, how many bags does this woman need? And why is Cat here? Not that I'm complaining.

"I hope you don't mind… I heard about the snow storm so I decided to come and, you know… I don't know. Get you prepared?" Cat says awkwardly.

"Cat, that's sweet. Of course I don't mind." I smile, she smiles back.

"Oh good, you'll be in good hands." Ms. Wilkinson sighs. After we load the cab, she touches Cat's arm lightly. "Do try to keep her warm."

"I'll do my best, ma'am." Cat grins, and I feel myself blush. Ms. Wilkinson gets in the cab and we watch as it takes off. Cat turn to me, a small smile on her face. "May I come up?"

"Well I'm certainly not going to turn you away." I chuckle.

"Good, because it's starting to get bad out here." Cat looks worriedly around at the thickening snow. We head back inside and she picks up her giant duffle bag as we head up to my apartment. I make sure to pick up the quiche before unlocking the door as letting us both inside. Concerned record producers, quiche and Cat… I don't think I've clearly expressed how grateful I am to have the people in my life that I do.

"Did you… bring a dead body?" I ask, staring at the large duffle bag. She laughs, shaking her head.

"No… these are just some things to help make your first major snow storm a little easier." Cat explains, unzipping the bag.

"Cat… You didn't have to do this." I sigh. She stands up, giving me a serious look.

"Victoria Vega, I have made it my life mission to make sure your transition into Canada goes as smoothly as possible. This includes making sure this cold-ass apartment has enough things to keep you warm." Cat argues. I feel a shiver at her using my full name.

"Hey, I thought you liked my cold-ass apartment." I tease.

"Not when it's cold as ass." Cat smiles, reaching down into the bag again, taking a serious tone in her voice again. "Besides… I know I didn't handle my first snow storm very well."

"Really?" I ask, taking a step closer.

"Yeah. I was… on the streets at the time. It was scary. To this day I don't know how I didn't freeze to death. Honestly, as much as I love snow… snow storms kind of freak me out now." Cat mutters. My eyebrows crease in pity. Poor Cat.

"That sounds awful. I'm so sorry." I sigh. She stands up with two candles in hand, a smile back on her face.

"It's fine. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have the same experience." Cat explains. "Candles, in case the power goes out. Sometimes the weight of the snow makes wires snap."

"Ooh, what scents?" I ask.

"Apple cinnamon and… warm vanilla sugar." Cat reads off the labels.

"Sounds delicious." I laugh. She shrugs, putting them to the side.

"I wanted warm scents. And if those don't help the atmosphere…" Cat continues, reaching in a very bulky part of the bag. She pulls out a large black machine, and I stare at it. "Portable space heater. Also battery powered."

"Handy." I smile.

"And…" Cat swoops down again.

"You spoil me." I shake my head.

"Snuggies." She grins, holding out the soft, sleeved material. I can't help but laugh.

"Oh my god, Cat." I chuckle. She puts them to the side, giving me a soft look.

"Think it'll help?" She asks.

"Oh definitely." I smile.

"Great! And I also have…" Cat looks down at the bag again, and I gape at her.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I also have hot chocolate and apple cider packets, if the power stays on." Cat pulls those out as well, and there's a very large handful of them.

"Cat… this is incredible. You're too good to me." I shake my head, enveloping her in a hug. She lets out a sigh, relaxing into me.

"Anything to help…" She mumbles.

"Do you want to stay a bit? Ms. Wilkinson made me mushroom quiche." I smile.

"Ooh, that sounds good." She smiles, pulling away from me, but then she worriedly looks over at the window. "But…"

"Would you rather make sure you get home safely?" I ask. "I got snow tires finally, so I could take you home."

"You got snow tires when winter's almost over?" Cat smirks.

"Hey, apparently I needed it." I scoff, and she giggles. Then she bites her lip.

"Um… no, I think I can stay for a bit." She mutters.

"You sure?" I question.

"Yeah. Mushroom quiche me." Cat smiles. I pick up the box of the lovingly made quiche and read the instructions Ms. Wilkinson also lovingly left under the lid of the package. I stick it in the oven, and while I'm doing this I notice that Cat keeps nervously looking at my window, which is steadily filling up with more snow.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home now, before it gets too bad?" I ask. She looks over at me with a smile.

"No, it should be fine. I want to stay. It just makes me nervous, that's all." Cat assures me.

"Cat…"

"Yeah, Tori?" She gives me an innocent look.

"Did you come here because you were worried about me, or worried about you?" I ask. She stares at me for a moment before giving an embarrassed smile.

"Both." She admits. "I feel a bit better knowing you'll be okay without me here, though."

"And how will you be?" I interrogate.

"I'll probably just curl up into a blanket in the corner of the couch and watch The Parent Trap until it stops snowing." Cat ponders.

"The old one or the Lindsay Lohan one?" I ask.

"Lindsay Lohan." She smiles.

"Good choice… although I suppose either would be good. What does Barry do?"

"He actually spent most of his childhood growing up in Montreal, so the snowstorms around here are pretty underwhelming for him. He usually just makes me a hot chocolate or apple cider and then works from home." Cat explains. What? Meanwhile she's freaking out on the couch with only a young twin Lindsay Lohan to comfort her? When Cat's upset you hold her, Barry. You hold her good.

Look at me getting all protective. Blah.

"Well I don't have the Parent Trap, but I can throw the kettle on for you. And if you want I can re-enact the movie." I offer with a sheepish smile.

"That would be quite the sight. You can do the handshake?" She smirks.

"I can try. And how's this?" I clear my throat, dropping into a poorly done British accent. "I love oreos. At home I eat them with peanut butter." I recite a line from the movie.

"Bravo. I feel better already." Cat laughs, then she jumps when a strong gust of wind makes the window creak. I let out a sigh, dropping the shades on the window so we can't see outside. I turn to her, looking concerned.

"Cat… I won't let you freeze to death." I state.

"I know. I won't let you, either." She smiles. "I'll… have an apple cider, please."

"Great. I will too." I smile, turning to put water in the kettle. After our mugs are made, I turn to see Cat has sat on my bed, hugging her legs. I suddenly have a flash back to when she was on my couch back in LA, hugging her legs and looking distracted. I frown slightly, figuring this storm was bothering her more than she let on. Of course… being stuck in weather like this while outside? It's cold enough in here as it is, and Cat already had the heater going. I walk over to her, holding her mug out. "Here."

"Thanks." She smiles gratefully, cupping it with her hands and taking a few sips. I really wish I had The Parent Trap right now. But I can do something that Barry seemed to ignore. I take a couple sips of my apple cider, and then I place it on the side table. She watches me as I grab one of her snuggies and she chuckles as I hold it out to her. Smiling, she slips it on and then shuffles back against the headboard. Then I think I surprise her when I sit beside her, pulling her against me and resting my chin on her head. She's still for a moment, as if she doesn't know how to react. Maybe I'm crossing a line by holding her, but I think this is better than her feeling exposed to the storm outside. I can even feel her trembling a bit. Eventually she relaxes, leaning back into me. "…Thank you, Tori." She mumbles.

"Feel better?" I ask softly.

"Yeah… better than The Parent Trap." Cat sighs. Ha. See? In your face, Barry.

We sit there silently for a bit, her gingerly sipping at her warm drink and me giving her a squeeze every time she'd tense at the sound of the wind. I become aware of the scent of the flowery candy apple smell that I've become accustomed to, only intensified by the apple cider. Probably a horrible idea, but I close my eyes and let my mind wander. And wander it does… back to Cat's skin, the way she feels in my arms, the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair. I'm hyperaware of it all thanks to the tangible presence. Vik was right. I should squash these fantasies when they appear. It can only lead to heart ache… but… she's just so here, and… and…

Letting my mind wander was definitely a bad idea.

"Tori?" She snaps my mind out of it. I open my eyes and discover my head had slipped down by her head and was now resting against her shoulder – lips first. Ugh… I don't remember doing this. It's okay… act like it's not a big thing. You meant to do this. Ignore how much you want to kiss her shoulder…

"Mhm?" I murmur. I wonder for a moment if she's going to comment on the awkward placement of my head, followed by a speech about how she should leave because my intimacy is making her uncomfortable…

"What are you doing for Easter?" She asks. I almost let out a sigh of relief. Of course Cat wouldn't mind my lips against her clothed shoulder… she's a cuddly person in the first place. She's said her feelings are in the past, and I never outright admitted I had any for her. God, I can be so paranoid sometimes.

"I never told you? I'm going back to LA for that weekend." I explain, finally removing my lips.

"Ohh. I was going to invite you over to have Easter with Barry and I, but a trip back home sounds better." She says.

"Thank you for the offer." I smile.

"Just going to see your family?" She asks.

"That, and the old gang…" I explain. She perks up a bit at this.

"Really? All of them?"

"Yeah. Remember when Robbie made that little… visit? He told me about a huge get together during Easter. I've gotten e-mails since… everyone's taking time off to be there. Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre…" I list off.

"Oh." She mumbles. I crane my head, trying to catch a glimpse of her facial expression.

"You don't sound happy." I comment.

"No, I am. For you. But I wish I could go. I miss everyone more than you can even believe…" Cat sighs.

"Well, I think they'd be more than happy to invite you." I tease.

"Tori." She huffs, but I can hear a smile in her voice. "Imagine me just showing up?"

"And on Easter… It'd be practically biblical." I joke.

"Almost makes it worth it." She giggles. "But really, I hope you have fun. Say hi to everyone for me… You know, without actually telling them it's from me."

"Your secret's safe with me, like I said." I assure her softly. Although, I know Cat will probably be brought up as she usually is at these get-togethers. It'll be difficult to keep my mouth shut. But I'll do it for Cat.

"You're the best." Cat sighs, snuggling back into me. She turns her head, tilting it slightly to leave a lingering kiss on my shoulder. I feel my cheeks fill with heat, and I regret wearing something thick like a denim jacket… why couldn't I have worn a tank top…

Beep.

"That's our quiche." I murmur, pulling away from her. She gives me a soft smile as I head to the oven, taking it out at letting it cool. Not that that will take very long out here… I was much warmer tangled up in Cat.

"Hello?" I hear her say. I furrow my brow, turning to her.

"Hi?" Then I mentally slap myself. She's holding her phone to her ear. She gives me a smirk and I know she'll be teasing me when she hangs up.

"Yeah I'm still at Tori's. She's feeding me and then I'll be back home." Cat explains, and I know it's Barry on the other end. I can tell by the way her voice drops. She listens for a moment, chewing on her lip. "Oh… Really? But the news said it's not supposed to get bad for another few hours…" She trails off. I head over to the window and peer through the blinds, and my eyes widen. You can't even see outside. It's just all… white. I look away from the window to look at a worried Cat. "What? Sorry, the signals choppy… I don't know. I don't really want to risk it if it's that bad already… You know how I am with snowstorms… Yeah, I do have some stuff, just in case this happened… No! I didn't plan this. Barry, I can't help the weather. And I can't help how I feel about it… So you want me to stay here?" Cat glances up at me and I give a simple nod. "Tori's okay with it. Thanks, Barry… You stay safe, too. Lots of love." She hangs up and lets out a sigh.

"Not worth making the trek to your condo?" I ask.

"Barry says it's already really bad. Tons of accidents on the Gardiner… He was calling to see if I had overnight stuff because he doesn't want me out in this." She explains.

"Well that's nice of him. Do you?" I question. She smiles shyly.

"Yeah…"

"Then I guess this will be our third sleepover in this apartment." I smile.

"So many Funny Nugget opportunities." Cat laughs. "And yes, 'hello' to you too, Tori." She smirks. I shake my head, turning back to the quiche.

"Oh shut up. I didn't know you had your phone out." I mutter, cutting her a slice.

"I know. It was still cute and funny." Cat appears beside me. "That looks delicious."

"I need all of Ms. Wilkinson's recipes." I state. She tilts her head.

"Can you cook? I don't remember having any of your cooking." Cat ponders.

"I… I try, okay? Here, take your quiche." I huff, handing it to her. I wouldn't say I'm a bad cook when I try, it just sometimes turns out a bit more… abstract than I anticipated.

"Thanks." She chuckles. She takes a fork full and her eyes brighten. "Oh my god. Please get the recipe." Cat gushes, and I can't help but agree as I take my own bite.

We eat and talk and I try to distract her from the storm. I think I'm doing a pretty good job since she seems to be totally focused on me and what I'm saying, rather than the wind outside. We're huddled by the heater and wrapped in snuggies, and she doesn't seem to need to be held again… but I will if she needs it.

"So I have a question…" Cat starts.

"I may or may not have an answer." I state.

"In this building, there's you…"

"Yep."

"Ms. Wilkinson."

"Correct."

"Your creepy superintendent…"

"That's right."

"Who else?" She asks.

"I…" I pause for a moment, scrunching my eyebrow.

"Well there's other doors out in the hallway other than yours and Ms. Wilkinson's, but I've never seen anybody else." Cat notes. I stare at her for a minute.

"You know what… I haven't either. Great. Now this building creeps me out." I sigh.

"Sorry." Cat giggles. And then there's a particularly loud gust of wind, and the lights flicker for a moment. Then we're enveloped in darkness.

"…Okay, now I'm really creeped out." I state, trying to adjust my eyes to the newfound darkness. It's pitch black in here. "Cat, you okay?" Silence. I'm about to say something else, but I sense some movement, and then a soft body plops itself in my lap, arms carefully wrapped around my neck.

"You don't mind if I just kind of… join you over here, right?" Cat whispers. I slink my arms around her waist, holding her protectively.

"Hey, you're safe with me." I assure her. Although, I admit the darkness and the sound of the wind and snow hitting the building are a little freaky. Thank god the heater is battery operated.

"I know." She mumbles, hugging close. "Sorry I'm such a baby about this."

"It's fine, Cat. You're not being a baby." I sigh.

"Barry sometimes thinks I'm overreacting… I always overreact." She mutters. In some ways, she's right. She can be sensitive and take things the wrong way when it isn't a big deal. But…

"You're not overreacting. Cat, if something upsets you, no matter how big or small, then it's a big deal to me." I state. My eyes are adjusting a little better, and I can see her eyes look up at me.

"Why?"

"Because you were upset about something three years ago, for a long time. I should've taken it more seriously. I should've done something more to make it better." I mutter. She's silent for a moment.

"Tori… no one took it more seriously than you. Please don't tell me you blame yourself for my leaving… for not cheering me up." She touches my check gently, and her facial features come into focus. Her eyes are heavy, eyebrows raised, lips turned into a slight frown. I look away, feeling vulnerable under her gaze. Sometimes I swear she can see right through me, meanwhile she's a complete mystery.

"I did blame myself for a long time. I should've chased after you in that parking lot." I admit, tears stinging my eyes. She tips my head to look at her, so she can search me. Read me like a book.

"I didn't expect you to." She sighs.

"You should've. I should've been there for you. Maybe then, you wouldn't have felt like your only option was to leave." I disclose. She shuffles closer, taking my chin firmly between her fingers.

"Listen to me. At the time it seemed like the only option. You did all you could. Trust me. You… you saved my life, Tori." Cat admits. I stare at her, deeply into her eyes.

"Cat…" I breathe, moving my hand up to take her hand around my chin in mine. I push it gently against my cheek, running my thumb over it and closing my eyes.

"All those days you would spend a little extra time to make sure to ask if I was okay… every time you told a lame joke… all the ice cream you bought me, the movies you would rent for me… I could see how much you wanted me to be happy. I'm sorry I couldn't be as happy as you wanted me to be, but you have no idea how each of those small gestures kept me going each day. When I was going through the worst, most stressful and devastating time of my life… you had no idea what was going on and you were still there for me." She reveals. She gently runs her other arm down my arm softly, watching it as she does so.

"I had no idea." I tremble. I was so close to a real tragedy. I wish I knew why, but I know I can't ask. If it was that bad…

"Now you do… and I got out. And now I'm… Right now I'm happier than I've ever been." Cat murmurs. "So you did your part. Believe me."

"I…" I feel my mouth dry up, overcome with what she just told me. At the same time, I don't think I'll ever stop replaying that moment in the parking-lot, imagining what would have happened if I went after her. She runs her fingers up my arm again and I find myself grasping gently at her waist.

"I don't think I ever thanked you. So… Thank you." Cat whispers, then she presses her lips to my cheek, lingering there for a while. I shut my eyes, feeling my heart pound faster. I feel like it's going to jump out of my chest. My eyes open again when she pulls back, but she stays so scarily close. So close, our foreheads are touching and I can feel her hot breath on my lips. I'd just have to tip my head up a little bit. That's all I'd need to do. I think she knows it, too, because we're very still and silent, almost tense – yet something about this moment feels so right, like it should progress further.

Probably hormones.

Our breath mixes in the small space between us. Her hands move up and wrap around my neck once again, fingers tangled and tense at the base of my neck. I don't know if that's an encouragement, or she's trying to anchor herself to keep herself from going past the point of no return. Because I know if I kiss her now… I don't know if I'll be able to stop. Maybe she's not thinking about kissing at all. Maybe she's just enjoying the moment with her friend. And honestly, I think that's the only thought keeping me from closing the distance right now.

Maybe I'm being delusional.

She rocks a moment in my lap and the movement against my thighs causes me to suck in a breath, heat creeping up my spine. She notices my lungs' betrayal, her eyebrows furrowing. I shut my eyes at this, my breath heavy. Better. Now it's just like a fantasy… her fingers trailing down my back are just a figment of my imagination. So is the feeling of the skin of her waist, my hand having somehow reached around the snuggie and hiked up her shirt a little. Her small breath hitch at this contact isn't real. Her hands grasping at my hips and clawing to my thighs aren't real either. Just like when her body moves up a little, when I feel her breath shudder a bit as her lips so gently touch mine – but it's not a kiss. Not really. They're just so gently touching, both our mouths hanging open lightly. She's trembling, as if begging me to follow through. And this is a fantasy, so I should…

But it's not. All of this is real. And I could really taste her right now if I really wanted to… But I don't. Not like this.

"C…Cat…" I breathe, the skin of my lips brushing over hers slightly. "We… we can't…"

"Can't… what?" She husks, and there's almost a sense of frustration in her voice. And pain.

You have no idea how much I want this right now… Want her. Everything in me is screaming at me. But I don't want to wreck this even more… Vik was right. I can't… feed the fantasy. Especially with reality. Even though she seems to be begging me right now, she can't really want this. The storm is fucking with her brain, and she's looking for comfort, and I'm the closest thing. And I would want her to really want this…

And I sure as hell don't want to turn Cat into a cheater.

"Sit… in the darkness." I rasp out. I pull back, and it's like she collapses back, as if she just ran a marathon. I shakily get up, ripping off the snuggie. My temperature is suddenly way too high right now. I practically blindly find my way to the kitchen and fiddle around for the barbecue lighter, nearly cutting myself on a knife in the process. I try to settle myself down as I use the lighter to light my way to the candles, lighting them and placing them down around where we were sitting. The scents fill my nostrils and I sit back down, risking a glance at Cat. Her chest is heaving slightly, and the warm light flickering against her face reveals a faint blush. She looks… beautiful, and full of desire.

Fuck. I just lit candles. How much more romantic can you get?

"That's better." I swallow. No it's not. You just probably made it worse.

"Yeah…" She fidgets her fingers with the hem of her pants. I notice her snuggie is off, too… and her blouse has slightly fallen down one shoulder. Don't stare, Tori… "Thanks for… protecting me. Against the storm."

"Thank you for protecting me. You've made my first snow storm much more enjoyable than it would've been." I smile. I mean it could've been more enjoyable if I had just clutched the back of her head and – damnit, Tori! No!

"No problem. Glad I could help." She smiles, looking down. I reach out and touch her knee for whatever reason.

"And hey. I'm glad you're better now." I say sincerely, quickly retracting my hand when her head snapped to stare at it.

"I am… Hey Tori…?" She starts.

"Mhm?" Please don't bring up the amount of physical intensity between us right now… Just sweep it under the rug… maybe it'll go away…

"Could I take one of the candles in the bathroom and have a quick shower? If you don't mind." She bites her lip, looking even more fidgety.

"Oh. Of course." I breathe. Good… time apart will give my hormones a chance to pipe the fuck down.

"Thanks." She smiles, getting up and grabbing her change of clothes and the warm vanilla sugar candle.

"Holler if you need anything from me." I offer. She seems to freeze, staring at me and looking suddenly jumpy.

"O-okay. Sure. Thanks." She mumbles, shuffling into the bathroom. As usual with us and doors, our eyes connect just before she shuts it, and I swear we both let out a deep breath. I wait until I hear the water start running before I jump up, pacing back and forth and trying to blow off steam. I shake my sweaty hands out and run them through my hair. Part of me really hates that I didn't kiss her. But the other part says… she's your friend… just a friend. Your engaged friend. Your engaged, beautiful, comforting, gentle, compassionate… sexy friend who is naked it the next room right now oh my god.

No no no no no I didn't just think that.

Thankfully my thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. I shake myself off and head to it, hoping I don't look like I'm horndogging. I open the door… and I'm blinded by a bright flashlight. "Tori Vega?" I hear. Oh my god are the police here? Are they going to arrest me for having sexual thoughts about my engaged best friend? Do Canadian cops do that?!

"Y-yeah?" I stammer, shielding my eyes. The flashlight beam is removed from my face so I can see, and it's just my superintendent… I'm definitely too paranoid.

"Just checking on the tenants. Telling them what I can do about the power." He explains.

"Oh. Well that's nice of you. What can you do about the power?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"…That's helpful." I sigh. He just grunts in response. "Right. Well… I have a… friend in the shower, so I'll be okay." I assure him.

"Alright. Well if you and your… friend get into any hanky panky, be sure to keep it down for other residence's sake." He says. I stare at him, hoping he'll crack a smile to prove he's joking… Nope. No, that waxy face is all full of serious.

As he walks away I stop him. "Um… there are other residents in this building, right?" I ask. He raises his eyebrow.

"Yes, of course." He grumbles, heading off. I quickly close the door and rest my back against it, letting out a deep breath. On the bright side, I think my superintendent referring to sex as hanky panky was enough to kill every urge in my entire body.

When Cat comes out of the shower she seems a lot calmer and relaxed. I make us a batch of hot chocolate and I jam out on my guitar while Cat sings along for the rest of the night… and luckily it was all very innocent. I stayed the hell away from promiscuous songs. The wind really picked up at some point so I wrapped my arms around her when we crawled into bed and hugged her back to me, returning the favour from the last time she stayed over.

But god, I'm not going to forget how close I was to having her…


April 13th, 2017

"Thank you for driving me." I smile from the passenger seat.

"No problem. Glad I got you to the airport safely. And thank you for letting me borrow your car for weekend." Cat says back. I pop open the door, sliding a leg out.

"Well, you have a late shift this weekend and I won't be able to drive you home, so this was the safest option." I state. She shakes her head incredulously.

"You're ridiculous… but sweet. I'll take good care of it, I promise. Do you have your tranquilizers?" She asks.

"Yep. No CN Tower moments for me." I assure her.

"Excellent. Then you're ready to go… I hope you have a wonderful Easter." Cat smiles.

"Thanks… you too. Give my best to Barry." I say, stepping out.

"I will. Bon voyage!" Cat calls out to me. I close the door and walk around, popping the trunk open and grabbing my bags. I shut the trunk and I'm halfway to the doors when I hear the door on my car open. "Tori, wait!" Cat shouts, rushing out. I turn to her slowly, confused.

"Cat, wha-" I drop my bags around my feet when Cat throws herself at me with a tight hug.

"Take tons of pictures for me?" Cat mumbles. I smile, running a hand down her hair.

"I will. Promise." I say. She leans back with a smile, and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

When I attempt to leave the second time, I glance back at her and I'm surprised that I'm not filled with any anxiety… I don't mean with the plane flight. That terrifies me. But I mean about Cat… a couple months ago I would've been scared to leave, but now I have no doubt in my mind that she'll be here when I get back. Progress, right? I guess I'm regaining my trust in her. I even left Mr. Purple in my car to spend some quality time with his mommy. But I'm sure she'll give him back when I come back.

The rest of the airport time and flight are a blur thanks to tranquilizers, but I assume I didn't get arrested by US customs so… that's good.

You have no idea how amazing it was to step out of the LAX airport and felt the warm, LA air hit my face. After the snow storm it melted within about a week and a half, but it was still chilly. LA, however… LA was freaking wonderful this time of year. Loving that sun.

It was a long flight and lots of tranquilizers, so I collapsed in my own bed as soon as I got home, never mind the three hour time difference. I didn't even hear Trina come in… Something I'm sure I'll pay for tomorrow.

April 14th, 2017

"LITTLE. SISTER." She screeches when I go downstairs the next day.

"Hi, Trina." I smile part of me genuinely glad to see her. She just puts her hands on her hips and glares at me.

"Or should I just say little?" Trina huffs. I look down at myself. I know she's a weight loss spokesperson… Did I lose that much weight? "Because a real sister would great her bigger sister at the door with hugs and presents when she came in the door!"

Oh. "Sorry, Trina. I was tired." I sigh.

"I thought Canadians might teach you some manners but NOPE." She scoffs. Why'd I come home again?

"Trina… I'm sorry. How about I give you gifts now?" I ask. She immediately brightens up.

"Oh… well if you insist." Trina laughs, sitting at the couch. I'm enveloped by a hug from my mother and father.

"It's nice to have you home, sweetheart." My mom says.

"It's nice to be home… I missed the LA weather." I sigh.

"You should call more often." My dad scolds.

"I call once a week." I chuckle.

"Exactly!" My dad huffs, giving me another hug.

"Hello! She's supposed to be showering me with gifts right now!" Trina grumbles. My mom and dad look at each other.

"Remember when we were empty nesters?" My mom asks.

"Those were the days…" My dad shrugs. I give my mom and dad the typical souvenirs you'd expect from Canada. Jars of maple syrup and shot glasses with the CN Tower on it. I knew Trina wouldn't appreciate anything that insinuated she should have something sugary, so I got her a charm bracelet with maple leaves, polar bears, and beavers… and then something else.

"The charms could be bigger." Trina wrinkles her nose, shaking the bracelet on her wrist.

"I thought you might say that." I sigh, pulling out another bag. "So I also got you this."

She tears the tissue paper away and pulls up a slim fitting shirt. She stares at it, wide-eyed. "Is that… a shirt with Justin Bieber's face on it?"

"Sure is."

"And… is that his real signature?" Trina gasps. I blink at her. Great, it's clearly printed on, but… Trina won't settle for less.

"Yeah. Totally. Ran into him on the street. He signed it for you." I bullshit. My mom raises her eyebrow at me and I give an innocent smile. Trina, however, immediately pulls on the shirt.

"Justin Bieber touched this shirt." She gushes, and then leaps on me with a hug. "Best sister EVER! I knew Canada would be good for you."

"Haha… yeah…" I laugh nervously.

We had a nice homemade breakfast, which I missed (although Cat made sure I was always stocked with enough to make a big breakfast), and then we took our annual Good Friday family hike. I made sure to take a picture with Trina because Cat bonded with her on some level… mostly while monster make-up was bonding with my face, but whatever. I got maybe one picture with Trina. The rest will be a bunch of Trina focused selfies that Cat will have to look forward to… Trina loves the camera, but I'm not sure how much the camera loves Trina.

At one point I catch my mom giving me a perplexed look, and I give it right back. "What? Is there something on my face?" I ask, touching my cheek. She shakes her head, a smile on her face.

"Nothing. It's just… you seem more upbeat. Like you're filled with more… I don't know. Life. It's something I haven't seen in you since you were seventeen. It's nice… I guess Canada really has been good for you." My mom beams. I look away, embarrassed.

"Aw, geez, mom…" I mutter. I don't think it's the country as much as it is the people… specifically person. How can I not have new life in me when I had a life returned to me? Yeah… in that case, Canada was good for me, and it's the main reason I miss it already.

Although, I have to admit, I feel really guilty looking at my dad. He worked so hard to solve Cat's case, and I know he feels guilty that he never found her for me. Now, I know where she is… I know how to solve the case, and I can't even tell him. Because of this, I can't really look him in the eye… He probably thinks I hate him. Ugh.

Just imagine how I'll be with my friends tomorrow.

April 15th, 2017

"Heeey, look who blew in from the north!" Andre grins, enveloping me in a hug at the door. I had offered my house because… that's where we always used to hang out. It's a reunion, after all.

"Hey, Andre! Look who came down from success to mingle with the little people." I laugh, hugging him back.

"Aw, now you know that's not true." He pats me on the shoulder, stepping in and clapping me on the shoulder. "Now, where's the food?"

"Nachos are on the kitchen table." I chuckle, starting to close the door. It's stopped short by the smack of a hand.

"Geez, Tori, trying to shut me out already?" I hear the smooth voice. I pull open the door and see my fluffy-haired friend.

"Beck! Oh my god!" I grin, jumping onto him with a hug.

"Ehem." I hear from behind him. I pull back to see an intimidating Jade, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. I quickly step away from Beck. Some things never change.

"Er, hi, Jade." I greet awkwardly. Remember how I said we grew closer after she pulled me out of the ditch? Well, it's true. I'm forever grateful to her… but I still don't think we've really figured out how to be friends yet.

"Yeah. Nice to see you… Vega." Jade mumbles. I open my arms slightly and twist.

"Uh, okay…" I step back just as she goes for the hug.

"Alright, let's just…" I go back for the hug and walk right into her hand.

"Oh, geez, just…"

"Here…"

"There… there we go." We finally give each other an awkward hug, stepping back really tensely for each other.

"Wow… and I thought I was awkward." Robbie says from behind Jade.

"Hey Robbie!" I smile, although I'm still a little bitter at him for outing my dark past to Cat… even though it's not his fault.

"The gangs all here! Nobody steal my nachos." Andre warns.

"We won't… Mr. Big Shot." Beck winks.

"Especially you. Don't want to get all you Old Spice up in my salsa." Andre jokes.

"Ugh, don't even mention that. I thought Hollywood Arts was bad… we can't walk down the street anymore without girls screaming at him to rip his shirt off." Jade scoffs.

"And my pants." Beck grins, but his face falls when his sees the look on his girlfriend's face. "Uh… but they always run away when you give them the look that Helena Bonham Carter taught you."

"Such a brilliant woman." Jade sighs.

"How's working with Tim Burton?" I ask.

"Twisted. It's the best experience ever." Jade lights up with excitement. Apparently I'm not the only one filled with new life. "How's being a recording artist?"

"It's in progress. I really like the studio atmosphere. Perfect for creating." I explain.

"I heard that preview of your new song on Splashface. It sounded great. When's the full music video coming out?" Andre asks.

"After I get back from Easter. Ca-" I stop myself short, "...The director is planning to start filming, and then we'll release sometime next week. Hopefully." I explain, letting out a nervous breath. I need to be more careful… I'm so used to casually talking about Cat to Vik and Nicky.

"Well I'm sure once you start releasing original music you'll blow up in no time." Beck nods.

"Literally or figuratively?" Jade asks. I stare at her.

"Jade!"

"Sorry. Old habits." She shrugs. Robbie looks around, grinning. "What?" Jade raises her eyebrow at him.

"I just… like this. All of us. Together." Robbie comments.

"Yeah, it's nice. I missed you guys." I state with a smile.

"I just wish all of us could be here." Robbie sighs, and I cringe.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I was thinking about Cat the other day, actually. Old Spice released something specifically for redheads and… yeah." Beck crosses his arms.

"Bringing her up already, huh?" Jade sighs.

"She always is, eventually. She was part of the gang. You have to admit, we still feel a little… empty without our perky, bright ball of sunshine." Andre recalls.

"She should be here." I mutter, and then I mentally kick myself when everyone looks at me. "You know… whatever happened to her shouldn't have happened." I say quickly.

"Got that right. I have a pair of scissors with that bastard's name on it." Jade grumbles.

"Yeah. Whoever knows where she is deserves to die for taking her away from us!" Robbie seethes. Uh oh.

"Robbie, that won't fix anything… but I definitely won't forgive anyone who won't come forward and tell us." Beck grumbles.

"Even if it's just to give her a proper burial." Jade mutters.

"You still think she's dead?" Robbie argues.

"You still think she's alive? Robbie, if she was, we would've seen some sign of her by now. Cat wouldn't let someone keep her for too long… she'd find a way to escape, or she'd just annoy them to the point of letting her go. And then she'd come back. If she were alive, why isn't she back yet, huh? It's been over three years." Jade throws back.

"Babe…" Beck sighs.

"Believe me, I want to believe she's alive, too." Jade mumbles, making Beck put his arms around her.

"I know. You thought of her as a sister." Beck murmurs.

"Well, I still hold out hope." Robbie states.

"And I send Lil Red all the respect, wherever she is." Andre claims, raising a nacho in the air. "To Cat."

"To Cat." Everyone else says. Everyone but me. I just stand there, stewing.

"Vega, what's up with you?" Jade raises an eyebrow.

"Tori says she's ready to put Cat behind her." Robbie reveals.

"Really? When you said that back in January, I admit I didn't really believe you. You've really forgotten her?" Andre asks. I stare at them, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"No… that's not it. I didn't… I could NEVER forget Cat. But… I just think…" I sigh. "I'm not saying I just… talked to her the other day and know what she'd be thinking, but… I feel like if she were alive today, she wouldn't want us focusing on all the negatives, like of her disappearance and possible death. She cared about us all so much and it'd break her heart to know we were hurting from her being gone. She'd want us to focus on the good times. The crazy brother stories she'd tell us. The time she tackled the flour bomber to the ground…" Everybody smirks a bit at that one. "Cat was a bright ball of sunshine, like you said Andre. Now that she's gone, that doesn't mean she left a dark rain cloud in her place. She's still our bright ball of sunshine… that's the way she'd want it. That will never change, and that's why I'll never forget her. She's… the sunshine in my heart." I tremble a bit at the end.

Everybody stares at me, mouth agape, and yet a look of agreement on their face as well. Maybe from now on… they'll focus on the positives. Cat won't have to worry about her friends hurting like I did anymore, and I don't have to worry about keeping this big secret. I let out a deep breath, holding back sentimental tears as I pull out my camera.

"So… who's up for a group picture?"


April 17th, 2017

I see my car outside at the pick-up area, waiting for me. The door pops open, revealing the redhead ball of sunshine I had missed so much. I drop my bags again, but this time I take it at a run and Cat looks surprised just before I leap on her in a bone crushing hug that surpassed even her goodbye hug. She stumbles back a bit, steadied by the car door, and she puts her arms around my waist.

"I'm still here, Tori." Cat chuckles. I shake my head, simultaneously nuzzling into her neck.

"It's not that. I knew you'd be. I just… I hated having to pretend you were dead again this weekend." I whimper, not expecting to have gotten this emotional. Cat lets out a sigh, hands clutching at the material of the sweater to hold me closer.

"Oh, Tori…"


Author's Notes: People are waiting for this so I'm going to keep this author's note short. I'm sorry it's so late. I'm on break from school but because of Canadian Thanksgiving/my brother visiting/still recovering from sickness, this had to take the back burner. But hey, I worked on it all day to get it out to you! Yeah! And now there's sexual tension between Cat and Tori... and by that I mean MORE. Want to see even more? Review. Tell me things. Maybe I'll release the next chapter... It'll be a good one. Progress and character development will happen. We all know I'll release it anyway... Reviews are just nice internet hugs... SOMEBODY HUG ME.

Fun Fact: I wasn't going to include the gang at all in this story, minus Robbie when he comes and screws everything up. I wrote a lot of group dynamics in Falling-Out, so I really wanted this one to focus on just Cat and Tori's relationship... but you know what? This is Victorious fanfiction and I missed writing everyone! Hence, Easter.