Chapter 9

7:03pm

They met outside of the United Center - the home stadium to many of the city's professional sports team - like they had planned. She gave him a wave because she doesn't know what she's supposed to do.

Hug him?

That seems inappropriate for their lack of a relationship. She can't define them. She doesn't know what they are. They're friends? She guess they could be considered as friends but she don't really know because not so long ago, he was the enemy. But she knows for sure that he's not her boyfriend. Why the hell would she even think that? Anyway she really don't think he sees her that way. Besides she's never had one. A real boyfriend that is. One that she actually loves and cares for endlessly and he too would reciprocate the desired feelings. Not what she used to do - 'befriend' a junkie just like her so she could have easy access to drugs and booze. She'd never have to worry about a fix, they'd provide it for her and she didn't have to spend a dime. And if they couldn't or wouldn't, she'd hop onto the next junkie. She's pretty girl, she'd tell herself. She'll find someone who'd give her what she needs. That was the life she was living. And now as she thinks back, she definitely was living 'the life' like she thought she was.

Some people couch hop, she guy hop.

No guy has ever taken her out on a date. And truthfully that's on her because she chooses guys who are emotionally unavailable just like her and the only emotion they showed or shared was for their next fix. Just like her. Wait a minute, is this even considered as a date? She don't really know too. Dates to her are getting paid at the end of the night. Dates to her are in hotel rooms or in vehicles. Dates to her are whatever her clients wants to do or wants her to do, whether be it uncomfortable or not, she has to suck it up. No pun intended. She probably shouldn't be talking to him about any of this, remotely, not even an utter since as far as he's concerned she's working the night shifts for a cleaning company.

He smiled at her and she blushed when he rested a palm on the small of her back, guiding her to the entrance.

She's changed. Troubled. She's not the same woman she was years ago - she doesn't guy hop anymore, she doesn't go around pinching people like she used to - or even a month ago, though her occupation remains unchanged. Clean. Despite that fact, she'd like to think that her maturity somewhat elevated since her last drug binge. Everything is much clearer now. Rational.

Thanks to Annie. She loves her. She doesn't know what she'd do without her. Mixing both cocaine and heroin was the dumbest choice she's ever made.

What the hell was she thinking!

She clearly wasn't.

Jay and her been texting, only texting and nothing more. Strictly texting. And since she doesn't have money yet to buy herself a new phone, she've been using her old Motorola Razr that her stepfather got her for her sixteenth birthday, that she's embarrassed to pull out now, so she's keeping it on vibrate for now. It's still salvageable even with the cracked screen, even when that phone hosted many of her dark secrets, even when he only got her that phone so as to shut her up.

She learned quickly that she too can get her way. All she had to do was threaten to tell the authorities. They'd believe her. She's the minor. But that was only short lived when he grew tired of her demands, screaming at her that he'd kill Bunny and make her watch her mother's agonisingly slow death, and he'd do the same to her. She thought she had the upper hand but boy was she wrong and she didn't disobey him since then just to find out what he's capable of doing.

She knows her limits.

And since her ribs were still aching, she hadn't yet gone back to work even when Misha insisted - no - threatened her that she does and soon because they're losing clients which entails to losing money without their number 1 Double Dzz Doll. Dandelion. Her.

Though she doesn't want to, she suppose she had to go back to work st some point. She can't live off of Annie forever. It's just that she's been enjoying herself this past weeks with her son and Annie that she's finally living life with a clear mind. Not tired. Not sluggish. Not sad.

Next week. She'll tell Misha that she'll go back to dancing next week. He'll be happy and that's more than she can ask for.

7:15pm

Right now, she's two thirds excited since she've never been to a huge event like this and one third terrified of the fact that her stepfather could and might find out she was on a date with a detective, a cop, the police.

Police!

If he thought she was talking to the police about his so called 'business', she can only imagine what he'll do to her if she dates one.

Oh, not that she wants Jay to be her boyfriend or something.

Since Misha has eyes and ears everywhere and since Jay's a cop, him being in her neighbourhood is absolutely off limits. He's a powerful monster who's capable of anything and what he did to her would seem like a very tiny paper cut.

And besides her stepfather has been stopping by at her apartment unannounced lately. Even Bunny. She doesn't know why and she's dreading most days because she doesn't know when he'll show up. Paranoid. Misha must have an agenda for his visits. He always has an agenda, she just can't figure out what that may be. It's nerve wracking and scary, really, because she doesn't know what he'll do - she could say something or even say nothing at all and he'll snap - and she doesn't want him around Noah or even Annie.

And Annie, she's tough but she's just as small as she is, if not smaller. A woman trapped in a squirrel's body. She's cute, childlike and is no match for her giant of a stepfather.

It's clear that Annie doesn't like him with the scowl she gave him on the first night he stopped by. She was shocked nonetheless to open the door to him and told Annie that she could handle this herself. And she did, he left minutes later after telling her that she needed to get back to work.

He gives her the creeps as Annie so eloquently put. And like she has said Annie's not stupid and that couldn't be anymore true when she figured out that it her stepfather who had bruised her - to say the least - because it's evident that her demeanour changes whenever he's around.

"He! That fucking bastard! He did that to you!" she had shouted. "And you're letting him prance around like it was nothing!"

In return, she tried shushing her, yanking her by the arm when she almost flung the door open. "Are you crazy! Annie, stop! You don't know him. You don't know what he's capable of."

"Ok. Then tell me. Tell me why you're so afraid of your stepfather."

And so she did. She told her everything, from the burning bright reminder on her left wrist and the reason as to why she was such an angry teen and to how Noah came about.

"Has he always been abusive?"

She shook her head, thinking back to the first time her mother introduced her to this monster. Bunny's always the cause for all her problems. He had given her a bear hug and she can't and doesn't want to even imagine the perversion lurking in his filthy mind.

He was nice to her. Too nice maybe and she was just ten years old and all she ever wanted was a father because hers had died too soon. "No. But, I guess that's what makes him dangerous."

7:33pm

Turning around, paranoid of whom of her stepfather's men might be watching, she hugged her torso tighter and slightly hunched over as she could still feel the force of Misha's kicks as he stomped on her abdomen.

"Are you ok?" Jay asked. The palm he had on the small of her back had now crept up to her shoulder as he looked at her with grave concern.

No one has ever looked at her that way. Well, Annie has. But she's just her friend.

Nodding, she told herself to relax, to not let Misha control the bearings of her life anymore, like he has for so many years. She's an adult now - twenty-four and with a child of her own - and not a little girl anymore. She doesn't need his permission. But it's Misha and one can't ever hide from Misha. He'll find you. He always will. And one can't ever ran from Misha. He'll find you. He always will.

And he found her. He always have. She could never run far enough and she've tried - God knows how hard she've tried - and every time she'd run away from that haunted house, he'd figure a way to find her. Dragging her by the arm or throwing her on his shoulder with her kicking and screaming each time. And every time, her punishments got harsher and harsher until she realised the only way out this predicament her mother forced her in was juvenile detention. That, or death. And since hell didn't want her, jail time was her last resort.

"Yea." she shook her head and smiled to mask the anxiety growing in the pit of her stomach, "I'm good."

7:40pm

They chatted for a while as they waited in line. "How's the case going?" she asked.

"Good." he lied. It was actually going nowhere. But can't tell her that. He doesn't know if she knows that he's not in liberty to discuss any aspect of the case with an outsider and he doesn't know how to express that without being curt, without sounding like an ass. So, he opt to change the subject. "How's Noah?"

"He's good, yeah." she chuckled and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, "He's actually turning one next week."

"Oh, really! You must be so excited."

She crossed her arms around her chest, pouting, and he can't help but think that she looked like a kid who didn't get her way. "Not really." she muttered, "He's supposed to be my baby and now he's growing up so quickly and, and..." she trailed off and Jay noticed the shine in her eyes and now, he feels like an idiot for asking about her son - of course, she'll get emotional - because he's making her cry.

"Sorry." she shrugged, blinking, and just as quickly her eyes void of the twinkle on their beds. "Annie's with him now."

Annie. The best friend who's not too fond of him and he knows exactly why. He's not stupid. He sees the way she looks at Erin and the way she talks about her. Though it was just that one time he saw that look, he automatically concluded that he's certainly certain. He can smell a competition from a mile away. But he's not too certain of Erin's awareness. It doesn't seem like she knows that a certain someone has a certain feeling for her.

Wow, that's a lot of certains.

"Annie doesn't like me very much, does she?"

Her brows crinkled, "What makes you say that?"

7:51pm

Looking around, she just noticed, after being here for almost an hour, the wave of red shirts moving through the entrance of the arena. All around her, people were decked out in jerseys, wearing hats and shirts of many varieties. Even Jay - as he walked beside her - was wearing a red jersey with the team's logo stamped on the front.

"Clearly, I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb." she whined while looking down at the very plain tee shirt she wore beneath her winter jacket.

Stopping in his place, Jay also took a moment to study her appearance. He's staring at her. Under the scrutiny of his gaze, she can practically feel her stomach twist and churned painfully and she can't help but blush. Why is she feeling this way? The last time she blushed this bad was in the seventh grade when Chad Michael - the boy every girl had a crush on - chose her to be his lab partner.

Those were the happier times.

She tried not to notice how closely he's standing next to her or the way he's hovering over her as a result of their rather large height difference.

Soon enough, he's removing his own hat and placing it on her head, smoothing out her hair as he does. "Not anymore."

He smiled one of those toothy smiles that brought out the blue sparkles in his eyes and Erin can't help but return the grin. Just as wife. She deserves some genuine fun in her life, not the kind of fun you get from numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol and sex. Fun. The kind of fun normal people with normal lives has.

She just wants to be normal.

Jay thought that she looks rather cute with all the blushing. And he can't help but notice that he may or may not be the culprit to her rosey cheeks. And he hasn't got a clue why.

Ok. Maybe it's because he's been purposefully making her blush just so he could see those killer dimples.

Cruel of him?

Maybe.

8:36pm

It's over half an hour now and they're seated on their respective seats and she thinks they've gotten the good seats or so Jay said that they do. But she doesn't know why because they're quite close to the rink and all she could see and hear are the loud banging that shakes her the bone as two players slam each other into the plastic window thingy.

She really should ask him what they're called but she's embarrassed to.

"Wait…they're allowed to do that?!" she shouted, covering her mouth in slight horror at the sight of two players throwing wild punches at each other.

Though she believes herself to be having the correct reaction to this kind of violence - seeing two grown men scuffle - everyone else in the surrounding stands appears to be thoroughly enjoying the spectacle.

They're watching ice hockey not boxing, right?

Next to her, Jay laughed as he rested back into his chair. "It's just one of the traditions of the sport. They'll likely both be penalised for it though." he shrugged before drinking from the beer he purchased from one of the concession stand.

"Oh."

She doesn't get it but he seemed to be thorough enjoying whatever was happening himself and so she laughed along and pretended like she understood.

One might think for a woman with a violent history like hers, being both the assaulter and the assaulted, she ought to not be troubled by such mockery. But the truth is, it still gets to her sometimes. Maybe because the only reason why she lashes out in the first place was because she felt so miserable and terrified and to her, at that time, her teenage self thought that punching people to the brink of death was her only form of release.

8:42pm

The men in the row right behind her were standing, shouting, and throwing their arms rapidly at each, scaring Erin slightly by their proximity and she scooted to the edge of her seat. They could fall and trampled them to death. "Oh God! They're going to kill us!" At this point, she's anything but uncertain.

Directing his attention away from the fight that continued down at the ice, Jay turned to watch her. Just above her cheekbone, there still was a tinge of yellow and he frowned. Everything else that had been on her face had been healed but except that small spot underneath her right eye. Though she said she fell, no body gets finger marks from just falling.

Wearing his cap, she looked to be a genuine fan. In that moment, he's positively sure that it was the right decision to bring her along. Not only because it had been the right thing to do, but also because her company is hardly undesired. She looks good tonight, pretty even, so much better than that swollen and bruised girl from a month ago.

How could anyone hurt her? She's so dainty and fragile. Like a beautiful flower. She's such a little thing - skinny, her shoulder blades poking at him ever so often.

"No, it's fine." he assured her. Sitting up, he leaned in closer to her. Her shoulder blades poked at his arm and he pointed out to the rink as he began to explain some of the details to her once more. "The guy there, the one on the left is going to hit the ice soon. They'll stop it then." And then, as if clockwork, the member of the opposing team involved in the scuffle does just that and the game quickly resumed as if the entire thing had never occurred.

"Wow." Still shocked by the events, Erin's mouth remained open even as she turned to face him. "That's impressive."

He smiled, happy to see her enjoying the action.

9:58pm

After the game, final score 3-2 in the Hawks favor, Jay and Erin walked to hail a cab. Although he insisted that he drives her home, that she didn't need to pay him, he joked, she somehow was adamant that she could take herself home. And he knows to never force a lady to do something she doesn't want to, especially when her mind has been made up. Even when it's ridiculous. So, he let it be and they walk side-by-side to the curb.

With his hands stuffed in his pockets, she found herself staring in his direction. Decent. That's the first word that popped into her head. He's the first decent guy she's ever had the pleasure to stumble upon. If only he wasn't an asshole when they first met. Handsome. Well, it's no surprise that he's decent looking too. But only if he knew how she got those tickets, she knows for a fact that he wouldn't want to have to do anything with her anymore. He wouldn't be laughing or shrugging it off. He wouldn't be saying that he doesn't care. He wouldn't or maybe even couldn't look at her anymore and that thought, she doesn't know why, hurt her more than she'd like to admit.

He's a cop and she's a slutty criminal. In a literal sense. But no matter how badly she wants to get out of the business, she can't. She's been marked for life. He doesn't know that she gets paid for sex and strips and dances for money and he should never know her secrets because somehow, she cares tremendously about what he thinks of her too.

Realising that she was still wearing his hat, she removed it from her head and tried to hand it back to him. "Here."

He pushed it away as they walk. "No. Keep it."

She stumbled over her words for a minute. "But it's yours. You should…"

"I mean it. It looks better on you than me."

Erin grinned at him, warmed by the gesture. "Well, thank you then."

"You sure you don't want me to give you a ride?"

Nodding, she mumbled something in the remnants of it's late and she doesn't want to bother him. But she can never bother him.

She's mumbling and not meeting his gaze because she's finding in difficult to ignore the fact that he's too close to her right now and she's almost positive that she would still be able to smell his cologne tomorrow morning if she were to try hard enough.

With the many men she've slept with in her lifetime, she've never, not once, felt this way. It's both confusing and refreshing at the same time.

"Thanks again for the tickets." he said, "I had fun."

She smiled, happy to hear that.

"Even with all the tutoring you had to do?" she wondered.

That's the best part.

Jay laughed inwardly then, causing most of his body to rise a bit as he smiled down at his feet. "Yeah. Even in spite of that."

In fact, he didn't even mind having to explain most of the game to her. It was fun to see those dimples, to see her face light up with excitement as she slowly began to understand some of the plays, cheering along with the rest of the crowd. Transforming from that miserable girl to this beautiful girl who's smile is forever imprinted in his mind.

10:09pm

His eyes were intense again when he finally looked up. She wishes he would stop looking at her that way, so she could stop blushing. She's never quite sure of what to do with herself when he does.

Feeling awkward and nervous, Erin extended her hand out, thinking a handshake to be the safest option when having to say goodbye to someone. Not too complicated, though a little formal for her liking. Truly, she's still confused as to whether this little outing qualifies as them being friends or not.

But she really do thinks they can finally be classified as friends.

Jay gave her a soft smile and she felt her heart begin to race as he drew her in closer and softly brushed his lips against hers. She hesitated for just a second - just a second because she cannot recall a time where she's been kissed in this way - before kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and running her hands through his sleek hair.

He tastes like beer and she hates beer. But she doesn't hate it right now as much as she should. It's actually kind of intoxicating. He's intoxicating.

She felt him begin to tease her lips as if asking permission to deepen the kiss and she parted her lips slightly, her tongue now meshing with his. Softly molding their lips together.

10:11pm

"Solnyshko!"

That sounds familiar. Solnyshko. She can still hear that in a distance, somehow creeping in closer and closer into her thoughts.

Solnyshko!

Only her stepfather calls her that...

My sunshine.

...and if she's hearing that right now that can only mean...

"Shit!" she whispered against his lips as she pulled away, quickly shoving him harshly by the chest. She didn't mean to. She really didn't and she feels awful but if only he knows how this day that had started so amazingly could now end so terribly for her.

How did he know she's here?

She could very well just answer her own question. She knows the answer.

He'll find you. He always will.

Jay stumbled backwards a little as he looked at her, stunned. Lips quivering and confused. If anything he's struck by her change in behaviour.

Had he done something wrong? Should he have not kissed her?

He must have read all the signs so wrong because he really thought she liked him too.

She's deathly pale and shaking, he noticed.

"I'm sorry. I, I have to go." she's nearly whispering, panic-stricken. But as he attempted to reach out for her, attempted to ask what's the matter, she quickly backed away before he could even touch her and swiftly turned on her heel, bumping face first into a broad chest.

She let out a strangled cry, praying that Jay didn't hear her weakness, and bit her tongue when she looked up at her stepfather.

"Solnyshko, I have been calling you. You didn't hear?" she felt him tense up, his arm tightened around her shoulder, almost as if he was squeezing her into his side, letting the third party know who she truly belonged to.

"I'm sorry. I, umm, was with a friend." she gestured at Jay and briefly glanced at him - very very briefly because she knows how her stepfather gets.

He's confused, she can see that, and she hopes he doesn't say anything snarky or smart because this could end badly for the both of them.

"A friend?"

She didn't know where else to look at other than dark ground. So, she did and nodded slightly.

"Jay. And you are?" he extended a hand out, never taking his eye off of Erin - she's clearly shaking - and the over six feet not-so-friendly giant reciprocated with a deathly handshake. But he kept his face stern.

"Her stepfather."


10:41pm

By the time he made it home, he feels worse than he did when he watched her get into the car with her stepfather.

What could he have done?

No crime has been committed. She chose her stepfather instead, even though her body language screamed otherwise. Maybe it was pleading with him to do something more than to try and convince her to let him drive her home.

What does she want him to do? Arrest him? And what for?

But somehow, he got the distant feeling that that would definitely not be a smart move.

He ran his hands through his hair, fist them. ever so frustrated with himself, and wondered what it would be like to pull his hair out and scream like in the movies.

"Erin, let me take you home. I really don't mind. In fact, I insist." he was almost begging her as he placed a hand on her shoulder. They're poking into his palm now but she's not shaking anymore.

Her stepfather had said something to her in Russian in which he obviously doesn't understand but he figured it was somewhere in between he's going to go get the car and don't do anything stupid.

It was just an educated guess.

She nodded and began spitting lies.

Taking deep steady breaths, he tried his very best to concentrate on whatever was playing on TV and believe her words for what they're worth, that she's okay. But the harder he tried, the more guilt and concern hovered.

"No, I'm good, Jay. My stepfather's here now. He can take me home. Thank you for the offer though." she said softly, eagerly like she needs to get the hell out of here, almost pleading for him to listen to her. Like it was all rehearsed. Like she had said it enough times to coax herself into believing that lie. She didn't look at him - her eyes were still planted on the ground - or she maybe couldn't look at him, wasn't allowed to.

As she opened the door to the passenger seat, he took mental note of the license plate. AG23353. He wanted to grab her and hurry her into his car instead and protect her but that would be kidnapping on his part.

She said she'll be fine. He has to believe that.

She'll be fine.

God, he hopes so.

. . .

"Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person. One that we reveal to the world, and another that we keep hidden inside." - Emily Thorne


Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading. I hope you liked this chapter! My sincerest apologies for not updating sooner. But I still do hope that you all will stick around. Pretty please. Haha!