A/N: Hey, guys! I talked to myself last night and I have come to the conclusion that I don't care if I don't have reviews. Writing fan fiction is my hobby and I won't stop it just because of some silly thing.


DISCLAIMERS: I do not own anything except for some OC's. The rest are J.K.'s.


CHAPTER NINE: Uncertain Thoughts and Impulses
by: Phaedra Delamire


The next three months passed by in routine. Lily woke up in the morning because of an annoying Petunia, eat breakfast, went off to work, eat lunch, work hard, go home, eat dinner, go to the hospital, and crash on the sofa.

Lily was in the Evans house today, preparing for Christmas in secrecy. She brought up a Christmas tree in the living room with a wave of her wand and levitated Christmas baubles onto the tree. Mr. Evans was with his wife at the hospital and Petunia was with Vernon Dursley having a date so Lily took the liberty to do it all. She levitated Christmas stockings on top of the fireplace and a few more decorations on the walls of the house. She summoned fairy lights around the rooms to give the whole place a little bit of color. Lily went back to the living room where the Christmas tree stood, and realized with a jolt, she hadn't bought Christmas presents yet. She bounded up the stairs, took her pouch bag, and Apparated off.


Lily stumbled into the living room with carrier bags on her shoulder and a stack of parcels in her hands. She just came back from Christmas shopping and she was all alone in the Evans house. She walked up the steps careful as she balanced the stack in her hands and the weight on her shoulders. She turned the knob of her bedroom door with her thumb and her index finger and hurried in. Before she dumped the things on her bed, she kicked the door closed.

Lily sighed in relief. She walked around streets so much her feet hurt. First she walked around Diagon Alley, next was Hogsmeade, then finally the whole London which was the most tiresome of all just trying to windows shop for gifts. Of course she had stumbled a few times over the weight of the things and a few people kept ogling at her carrier bags from Diagon Alley it was scary. But to Lily's relief, it looked just like normal carrier bags from Tiffany.

She started wrapping them and had a few paper cuts from the wrappers. She didn't know how to wrap things of course, and it was always Mrs. Evans or – Merlin, help me, Lily thought – Santa Claus and his elves did all the wrapping. After the fifth cut, Lily groaned in frustration.

"Am I a witch or not?" she told herself. She threw the scissors down and took her wand out from her back pocket.

"Mobilis," she murmured. The wrappers, scissors, and Spellotape went to work. Lily sat down at the foot of her bed, watching it cut, wrap, and seal the gifts. She wouldn't leave alone. What would happen if the scissors cut that music book Lily bought for Rachel? Or worse, her bed sheets? But of course, she was a witch and could easily cast a Repair Charm on it but she'd rather not take any risks.

After a few minutes, everything was wrapped and a card was Spellotaped to each. With a quick Mobiliarbus spell, she levitated all down the steps and under the Christmas tree. It was two weeks before Christmas and Grandma Evans would say she was very behind on Christmas shopping even if it was July.

Lily walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She took out her lemon juice (ah, lemon juice) and poured it into a glass. She raised it to her lips and checked her violet wristwatch. She almost gagged on her juice. She was five minutes late for her meet-up with the rest of the Gryffindors in the Leaky Cauldron.

She tapped the glass with her wand and it was squeaky clean. She shoved the juice back into the fridge and bounded up the steps. Her hair was a mess. She had to run her comb in it a hundred times before she got frustrated and waved her wand at it. She threw on a dark pale blue top, a beige cashmere jumper (A/N: To stop the confusion, a jumper is British English for sweater which is American English), trousers, a beige cloak and boots. She put on green gloves and her signature beret and jammed a few coins into her small violet pouch bag. She raised her wand and made a small pirouette and Apparated out.

She arrived outside the Leaky Cauldron, snow covering the streets. Her breathe came out in mist as she opened the door to the pub. Alice, Frank, Marlene, Mary, Sirius, Remus, and James were there, laughing and joking a bit. She moved toward them hurriedly and collapsed into the only empty chair which was in between James and Sirius.

"Sorry I'm late," she breathed. Alice passed her a butterbeer. "Thanks… I had to do Christmas shopping and decorate the whole house."

"Aren't you leaving your Christmas shopping a little bit late?" said Sirius over his glass of what looked like Bob Ogden's Old Firewhiskey. "I did mine in September." Lily laughed.

"You're just like my grandma," she said happily. "She used to buy us Christmas presents in July."

"I did mine yesterday," said Mary.

"I did mine a week ago with Robbie," said Marlene.

"I made Clemy do mine," said James with a smug smile. All of them rolled their eyes. Clemy or Clementine was James' mischievous, Auror, older sister. She was just a year older James and looked very much like him except with dark chocolate brown hair and pale blue eyes.

"You're cruel," said Remus. James shrugged.

"She loves spoiling me," he answered. Remus hit him at the back of his head but said nothing.

"Remus where's Maggie?" said Lily. "I thought we said that to bring your significant others with you." Remus sighed.

"She's at Liverpool doing research for cancer healing spells," said Remus sadly. Lily understood. Maggie was the only thing that made Remus forget his unfortunateness. Lily turned to glare at Sirius. "And where's Rachel?"

"She's at St. Mungo's," said Sirius. "There's been an attack at Manchester and the Aurors were badly injured. She's working overtime." Marlene turned to Frank and Alice.

"Weren't you there?" said Marlene. They shook their heads.

"We weren't in the office when they had the emergency call," said Frank. Marlene nodded.

"So, how's the wedding?" said Lily. "Aren't you excited? It's a few weeks from now!" Alice looked like she was panicking.

"Well, I'm a bit nervous actually," said Alice, "Mrs. Longbottom's really a… spirited woman and mum and her are trying to take hold of the wedding." Frank smiled at her sympathetically and wrapped his arm around her.

"Don't worry, Alice," said Sirius, "It's your wedding, not theirs. At least the music'll be great since it's Rachel who'll be doing it." He laughed.

"Prat," Lily muttered. "Did you choose the bridesmaids dress for us yet?" Alice's eyes grew wide.

"What?" she yelped. "I thought you're Maid of Honor?"

"Of course I am," said Lily, "But you never told us about the dresses yet!" Alice looked like she was going to pull her hair out.

"Arrgh!" she groaned. "I was too preoccupied in the flower arrangements that I completely forgot!" Everyone jumped when her bottle of butterbeer exploded. The pub fell silent. Lily gulped.

"Alice, Alice," she tried to calm her down. "It's okay. No need to stress. Mary, Marlene, Rachel, Maggie and I will look at bridesmaid dresses tomorrow." She waved her wand at the bottle and it repaired itself. She leaned across the table and patted Alice's shoulder. Marlene looked behind her shoulder at the whole pub.

"What're you staring at?" she called, sending them a small glare. Everyone went back to their own businesses and started muttering. Sirius laughed.

"You shouldn't have glared at them, Marlene. Now they'll think we're planning to join Grindelwald!" he laughed. Marlene sent him a grimace and patted Alice's shoulder. Alice started twitching. Lily turned to her small violet pouch bag and groped around it. She took out a large vial of pale blue liquid and took an extra bottle of butterbeer. She put a small drop of it into the brown drink and handed it to Alice.

"Drink that," she ordered. "I put a drop of Draught of Peace into that." Alice muttered her thanks and took the bottle. She raised it in the air.

"To everyone's good health," she murmured and drank it. At once, her face lit up and she had a dazed expression. "That's better! Thanks."

"No problem," said Lily. They started talking about more trivial things like Grindelwald and each of their opinions on Professor Dumbledore if he really is that crazy. After a few more minutes, James and Sirius had convinced everyone to drink Firewhiskey and by eleven o' clock, most of them were already drunk.

Lily was red in the face and quiet while the Marauders were laughing and quite boisterous. Alice and Frank were snogging each other while Mary and Marlene were talking to the Marauders.

"J-James don't have a girlfriend yet," Sirius teased. "An-And I always thought I'm the one who'll stay the bachelor!" They laughed. James was grimacing.

"Shut it, you!" James slurred. Mary laughed in her I'm-drunk-oh-yeah laugh.

"I never thought James Potter is gay," said Mary. James looked appalled.

"I am not gay!" he exclaimed. He took another swig of Firewhiskey. "It doesn't mean I have no girlfriend that I'm gay."

"Prove it, Prongs!" said Remus who looked like he wasn't as drunk as Sirius and James.

James was quiet for a while. Lily was still quiet and was watching the contents of her Firewhiskey glass swirl. James ran his eyes along Lily's dark red hair down unto her back. He watched Lily's green eyes twinkle and blinking slowly as she watched the Firewhiskey glass. James acted out of impulse and the teenage Hogwarts student part of him and leaned down. James pulled Lily towards him.

"James what are you-" but James cut her off with his lips. Lily turned so red that it contested with her hair. She could smell the mint of James' shampoo.

The voice at the back of Lily's head started talking, Oh my God! It's a dream come true!

No, it isn't! Lily answered back.

Yes, it is! The voice whined. You've been dreaming about him for nights!

Shut up! This'll be bad for publicity. Girls will start sending me cursed letters like they did at Hogwarts.

Don't care about that!

No, both of us are completely professional people, I will handle this in a professional way.

I could tell you're having fun.

The rest of the Gryffindors were oblivious to Lily's warring head as they cheered. She closed her eyes momentarily, savoring the kiss, until she was brought to reality. She pushed him back and stood up. James looked up at her with a confused expression.

"I'm sorry," Lily whispered. "You're drunk. You can't think straight. I have to go." She picked up her bag and sped off, trying to ignore the stares and James' calls.

"Lily!" James called. Lily pushed open the pub door and went out into the cold bitter winter's night. She ran up the pavement, wiping away the confused tears as she ran. Suddenly, someone grabbed her elbow and spun her around.

"Lily, please, just hear me out," said James. Lily tugged at her elbow but James' grip was too strong.

"Fine. What do you want?" said Lily, looking down, not wanting to meet bright hazel eyes.

"Lily, why do you hate me so much?" James asked. Not meaning to, Lily looked up. She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"I don't hate you," she said, "I'm just confused."

"About what?" said James quietly.

"About you!" said Lily loudly, gesturing to him. "You who has always been terrorizing my everyday life at Hogwarts. You that is so perfect. You that I can't wrap my mind around. James, I barely even know you. Yes, I've known you for seven years but we spent those seven years hating each other. We can't just be friends then hook up immediately."

"But… I didn't hate you," said James so quietly Lily barely caught it.

"Pardon?"

"I didn't hate you," said James more loudly. "I never did. I always liked you but I always acted like an idiot around you." Lily was speechless. She tugged at her elbow again but this time, James let her go. "I'll wait, Lily. Even if it'll take a thousand years for you, I'll wait."

Lily shook her head since she thought of nothing else to do. "I'm sorry, James," she whispered. She spun around and disappeared, leaving James heartbroken in the middle of cold dark night.


A/N: Tada! The main storyline has now been revealed! I hope you guys liked this chapter.

A special thanks to AquaCrystal2756, GoodBug, and Superficialowl for bringing me out of my sock drawer.

Hope you'll review guys. You still get to have a treacle tart, an oreo, a muffin, or a butterbeer if you do.

With love,
Phaedra Delamire xoxo


Lily Evans, James Potter, Mary MacDonald, Marlene McKinnon, Alice, Frank Longbottom, Sirius Black, Leaky Cauldron, butterbeer, Bob Ogden's Old Firewhiskey, spells © J.K. Rowling