Chapter 9
"Wow, what happened to you guys?" Kim asked.
"Let's just say the dentist appointment from hell and be done with it," Brian replied.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Trust us, you wouldn't believe it unless you were actually there," Lana sighed.
"Took four hours for fuck-o over there to get one filling because he wouldn't stop moving, stalling and jumping straight out of the chair," Brian added, indicating Paul.
"It was a great time for all," Lana said. "Not."
"You can't be serious," Kim replied. "I thought maybe you all went somewhere afterwards since Lana and PL didn't have Danny. He's taking a nap, by the way."
"I'm telling you, Kim, you had to be there. He jumped straight up, ran halfway across the room and screamed like a girl," Brian said, beginning to laugh.
"Even the seven year old they had in the room next door didn't make as much of a fuss," Lana added.
"I'm glad you two are having fun at my expense," Paul snorted.
"Oh, for crying out loud," Lana said. "Perhaps if you hadn't made such a scene, it wouldn't have been so funny."
"Not to mention we wouldn't be stuck there for an eternity," Brian added. "I had to rub his shoulders and make him look at me while Red played with his hair. Took four hours, but mission was finally accomplished."
"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Paul asked.
"Try having a baby sometime," Lana shot back.
"Wait a minute," Kim replied skeptically, "we can't possibly be discussing the same Paul; the big tough guy that would kill anyone that even as much as looked at Lana or Danny the wrong way and punched out some asshole at a bar for calling you a fag."
"Trust me, we are, Kimberly," Brian snickered. "If they still had the Hardcore title around all it would take is someone coming at PL with a dentist drill or a spider and he'd lose it right off."
"Very fucking funny, Spanky," Paul said, glaring.
"Look at it this way, it will make one hell of a story to tell Danny and your grandkids," Brian grinned.
"You know the fact that I will slit your throat in your sleep still stands, right?"
"Yeah, yeah; again, common threat I get from a Mexican."
Lana sighed. "Toughest man that I know in the universe and dentists and spiders freak him out."
"Oh, that's just the tip of the iceberg, Red. Hey, did I ever tell you or Kim about the time he was at the waxing salon?"
"SPANKY!" Paul yelled.
"Do I really want to hear about this?" Lana wondered.
"Something tells me we might," Kim grinned.
"You don't," Paul spoke up.
Brian ignored him. "Anyway, he has to get waxed once every two months, as we all know, especially when it's his pubes."
"Brian!" Lana cried.
"I'm warning you, dude; stop right there," Paul said.
"So the last time he went in, to I had to hold his hand with one hand, cover his eyes with the other so he didn't it, with three people in there, his junk all hanging out, and then the most HIGH PITCHED SCREAM you'd ever hear came out of his mouth. You'd think he was getting murdered."
"No thanks; my eyebrow waxing is bad enough," Kim said with a shudder.
"Have somebody wax your balls and see how you get through it, Spanky," Paul grunted.
"I shave mine but Paul's too pussy and hates doing it. I'd volunteer to do it, but he's so scared I'm going to hack his dick off with a razor. And I don't think he'd let Red near it either unless it was for—"
"Stop right there, mister!" Lana cried.
"And it's not my dick, it's kind of my...boys…" Paul coughed.
"You can shave those. I or Red could just help you with the other parts," Brian grinned.
"Right, like I don't see enough of his or Danny's 'equipment' as it is," Lana said.
"You weren't complaining about that last night, woman," Paul shot back, finally grinning. "As a matter of fact, I think you screamed my name about five or six times the whole time. Maybe more. I'm surprised it didn't wake up Danny."
"For God's sake, Paul!" Lana exclaimed, blushing.
"Whoa, dude, TMI," Kim said, making a face.
"Speaking of which, PL, I think Kimberly's record is about ten or fifteen times in that department with me," Brian laughed.
"God damn you, Brian David!" Kim yelled.
"But who's counting?" Brian asked, cheesy grin in place.
"Did I really need to know that?" Lana wondered.
"I sure as hell didn't," Paul replied.
"Hey, you're the one that brought up your wife screaming your name during sex, fuckhead" Brian reminded him.
"Uh, yeah, I was thinking this was becoming a bit too graphic," Kim added. "I don't think anyone wants to hear about our sex life to begin with."
"Considering I've heard the guy have sex enough before you two got together to know what I need to know anyway, you have a point, Kimbo," Paul replied.
"Shit. Before either of us got married, I'd gotten more ass then Paul," Brian said.
"Gee, Brian, flattering yourself much?" Kim asked.
"I haven't heard you bitch yet in that department, have I? As a matter of fact, you walk funny the next morning."
"Okay, I do not need that vision!" Paul cried.
"Besides, we know Paul's more of a gentleman anyway," Lana smiled. "He wouldn't even look at a woman's behind without asking."
"Aw, thanks, sweetheart, that made me feel a lot better," Paul smiled.
"Because it's true," she smiled back. "I couldn't have asked for a better man, even if spiders, waxing and the dentist make you skittish. After all, everyone has their quirks."
"We do," he grinned wider. "And by the way, you still have a great ass."
