(A/N)- Weeeeeeeeeeeeeekly update time!
Ezra gets to take his mind off his own problems for a little bit to help other people with their problems. Because Counselor!Ezra gives me life.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Woe betide anyone who gifts me the rights to an intellectual property, there would be no stopping me.
Wayward
Ezra rubbed at the last little bit of carbon scoring, the cleaning cloth making squeaky noises under his fingers. When it was gone, he sat back, wiping his brow.
He ached, and his arms were sore, but it was a pleasant kind of tingling, accompanied by a sense of satisfaction.
"Wow," commented Hera from below, walking up with an armful of hydrospanners in her hands. Her lekku twitched as she looked her ship up and down, marveling in bewilderment. "I don't think I've ever seen the Ghost's hull look so clean." She peered up at Ezra with narrowed eyes. She'd only asked him to do the Phantom II.
Has he been up there all day?
Ezra popped up and jumped down off the prow, breathless. He tossed the cleaning cloth off to the side.
"Anything else I can do?" he asked.
Hera's mouth flattened. The hydrospanners floated in her hands as she hesitated. With some reluctance she passed them over to Ezra.
"Take these to Maintenance Bay Three for me?" she suggested.
He almost snatched the hydrospanners in his eagerness to take them. "On it!" he said, already running off.
Hera jabbed a finger towards his receding back. "And then sit down, for Ryloth's sake!" she ordered.
Ezra pretended not to have heard her.
-SWR-
The maintenance bay was full of uncomfortably electric noise, so Ezra didn't stay long once he'd completed his task.
He held his breath until he was safely out in the hallway. The echoes faded behind him.
His head was ringing. He breathed in and out carefully, willing the nervous jolts coursing through him to stop.
It's okay, he told himself. I'm okay.
He kept walking until the trickles of adrenaline petered out.
With a heavy exhale, he slumped into the wall, leaning a shoulder against the cool stone. He rubbed his face tiredly.
"At this rate I'll never be let back on mission," he muttered. He knocked his fist against the side of his head, rapping sharply. "C'mon Ez, get it together," he told himself.
He pushed off from the wall, hearing a couple techs coming down the hallway from the other direction. He nodded briefly at them as they passed.
All right, where to now? he wondered.
He let his feet carry him as he looked for something else to do. He avoided going back out to the airfield. If Hera or Sabine saw him there would be no end to the amount of grief they'd give him.
Ezra sighed. He knew he was overworking himself again, but nothing else kept his thoughts quiet. If he held still for even a moment his mind went down dark trails that led into pain-filled memories or twisted variations of what had happened at the Imperial facility.
He volunteered himself for a couple small tasks and was in the middle of passing tools to a mechanic working on a heating conduit when his wrist comm beeped insistently.
Ezra sighed and answered it.
"Ezra?" Kallus sounded more stressed than usual.
"Hey Kallus," Ezra answered absently, handing a wrench to the mechanic. "Need something?"
There was a scuffle of noise on the line. Ezra heard Gooti and Jonner's voices in the background, pitched, hysterical-sounding.
"—all by himself! He's going to get killed! We—"
"Gooti—Gooti please calm down!" Kallus strained. He came back on. "I need your assistance, Ezra. Ensign Mattin has run off."
Ezra kept his comm lifted as he leaned down to grab the toolbox. "That's nothing new," he commented.
Kallus snarked back with a flustered tone. "Yes, but this time he took an X-wing."
Ezra almost dropped the toolbox. He double-took at his wrist comm, and even the mechanic he was helping stopped his work and gawped.
"What?!" Ezra exclaimed.
Jonner's voice crowded in on the open line. "We tried to stop him! He said he wanted to make Thrawn pay!"
Ezra carefully set the toolbox down, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a groan. Yeah, that sounds exactly like the kind of reckless, impulsive, stupid thing I would have done if I was in his place, he thought. "Ugh, that moron!" he said under his breath. He glanced anxiously at the mechanic, who waved him off with a look of wide-eyed concern. Ezra nodded to thank him, then hurried to find the nearest exit. "How long's he been gone?"
"He just took off."
"All right," Ezra breathed, emerging out into the open air. His pulse was anxious, creeping worry trickling through him. He scanned the skies, straining his eyes for a glimpse of the wayward craft. "All right, what do you want me to do?" he asked.
"Kanan mentioned to me something about you having 'an ability to connect', whatever that means," Kallus said. "Can you use the Force to locate where he's—"
Ezra had already begun extending his senses while Kallus was speaking, and in moments brushed up against a distant presence drenched in negative emotions—anger and grief the most prominent.
"Found him."
Gooti gave a cry in the background of his still-active comm. "Oh thank stars!"
"Where is he?" asked Kallus.
Ezra felt out, closing his eyes and extending a hand to focus in. "He hasn't left atmosphere. He's just... circling." Ezra opened his eyes, his worry fading, replaced by a sudden swell of sympathy. Mart wasn't actually going anywhere. He was just... wandering. Directionless.
His own feet had made similar paths many an early predawn morning, after one of his nightmares.
"He's not answering his comlink. Of course," Kallus groaned, his voice breaking Ezra out of his thoughts. "Are we supposed to just wait for him to decide what he's doing?"
Stirring, Ezra made a quick decision. He lifted his wrist, trotting towards the treeline on the other side of the airfield. "I'll handle this."
"What do you mean you'll 'handle' it?" blustered Kallus.
"I'm gonna see if I can convince him to come back to ground." Ezra spotted a small black speck against the blue sky, and fixated on it, tracking it with his eyes. "I'll talk to you later, Kallus."
He tapped the button to disconnect and let his arm swing down by his side. He ran on a little further, finding a place that was relatively clear, where he wouldn't be in the way.
Taking in a shaky breath, he lifted his hand and reached out through the Force again.
His mind touched Mart's. He extended calm out to the boy, like he remembered Kanan doing for him time and time again. Like he had done for the Ithorian infant Pypey, when they were being chased by the Inquisitors.
Mart didn't respond to it at first. Ezra frowned and pushed just a little more—Not too hard!, he told himself, remembering uncomfortably the AT-DP pilot whose mind he had taken over. The Force flowed through him, warm and open, and he offered out the feeling to the turbulent presence in the air.
After a moment, he felt the boy's anger siphoning away. Ezra opened his eyes and saw that the black speck of the wayward X-wing was circling down, heading back towards the ground.
Ezra exhaled his relief. He commed Kallus again.
"Okay. He's landing."
"Good," Kallus sniped. "Send me the coordinates so I can come strangle him."
"Kallus, wait," Ezra protested. He moved towards the treeline, keeping the blip of the X-wing within sight. "Let me talk to him first."
Kallus sighed heavily. "If you must."
Ezra let the line disconnect as he walked into the trees.
-SWR-
Mart had set the craft down in a small clearing not that far from the base. It only took Ezra a couple minutes of searching, after losing sight of the X-wing's descent, to locate both the ship and its errant pilot.
His boots padded the moist earth softly as he approached.
Sunlight filtered down through the open patch. The X-wing had its cockpit open and Mart was seated on a moss-covered log nearby, his arms around his knees, looking off through the trees with a thousand-yard stare.
"Thought you were halfway to Lothal by now," Ezra said lightly, walking up behind him.
Mart shrugged. "Thought about it," he admitted. "But what's the point?" he added morosely. He curled up a fraction tighter. "It's not gonna bring back my uncle." His voice dropped even quieter. "Or my dad."
Ezra didn't have a response prepared yet, his heart too clogged up with sympathy and guilt to form words, so for the moment he just came and sat down on the log next to Mart.
The silence stretched out, broken only by an occasional bird warble.
Mart stirred and gave a groan, putting his face in his hands. "I don't know what I was thinking," he muttered.
"Well, let me put it this way... you weren't," Ezra joked. "And that's not a judgement by the way, just an observation."
That had the desired effect; the ghost of a smile tugged at Mart's lips.
"Kallus is pissed, isn't he?"
"Yep," Ezra confirmed. "But I wouldn't worry too much about him. He'll get over it," he told Mart. "Now, if Hera finds out you stole an X-wing..."
Mart shuddered and changed the subject. "It's just..." A long pause followed and the brief levity left his face.
Ezra let him have a moment to gather his thoughts.
Mart tucked his chin on his arms. "I keep replaying that day in my head. Over and over," he said softly. "Wondering if there was something I could have done or something I should have said..." His voice tightened. "Something that would have kept him from getting on that ship."
Ezra looked away, burning with guilt. "I know what you mean," he mumbled.
"Oh, what?" Mart snapped, his eyes flashing angrily. "Don't tell me you've got regrets about it. What would you have even said to him?"
"Couldn't say," Ezra droned, the words coming out harsher and more bitter than he'd meant them to. "I was on board the Chimaera at the time."
Mart ducked his face, immediately chastened. "I'm sorry," he muttered.
Ezra simmered at the words, but swallowed back his irritation. For a moment, the two boys were silent.
"For the record," Ezra spoke up at last. "I do know what it's like." He met Mart's eyes. "The Empire took my parents when I was seven. And there's a lot of things that..." Ezra had to stop a moment and swallow a sudden rise of emotion and tightness in his throat. "...that I wish I would have done differently. Mostly I just wish... that someone could have been there for me," he said, his voice small and quiet. He tucked his arms around himself, eyes dropping to the ground. "Until I met Hera and Kanan and the others, I was on my own." He lifted his face again. "But you don't have to be," he told Mart.
Mart traced circles in the log next to him. "Yeah... I know."
"Your uncle... your uncle was a great man," Ezra continued. His own sense of grief was curling around his heart, making his chest hurt, but he kept talking, forcing the words out. "I was happy to earn his respect. And..." He smiled. "...I think he'd be proud of you too."
The other boy seemed to come back alive. Ezra could feel it through the Force, the swell of positive emotion, a brightening in spirit.
It made the pain and guilt inside him fade for just a little bit.
Mart's eyes glimmered. "Thanks," he whispered. He rubbed his eyes clear, laughing shortly. "S'pose we should get back now."
Ezra's grin broadened. "Yeah, let's not keep Alex waiting," he agreed.
Mart tilted his head in confusion. "Alex?" he asked.
"I'll tell you later," Ezra said, nudging Mart's arm as he began to stand up.
-SWR-
Ezra couldn't quite keep pace with the X-wing as Mart flew it back to base, but managed to arrive back in the hanger just in time to see him exit. Kallus and the other two were waiting at the base of the landing gear, the older man frowning with his arms folded sternly. Ezra trotted up quickly so he could witness the reunion.
Gooti was the first to reach him, jabbing her finger into Mart's chest. "You had us worried sick!" she cried, spitting the words out furiously.
Mart flinched at her anger, ducking his head. "I know, Gooti. I'm sorry."
"You better be!" she yelled, but as Ezra got closer he could see the relief in the lines of her face.
He joined them, moving up beside Mart and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"He just needed some time to clear his head," Ezra explained. He shot Kallus a look. "The X-wing's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on it. Barely even used any fuel. So there's no need to report this. Right Kallus?" he prompted.
Kallus cleared his throat, his severe frown still in place.
"I trust this will not happen again?" he asked Mart, pinning the boy with a glare.
Mart gulped. "Yes sir," he replied, then quickly corrected, "I mean—no sir, it won't."
"Good." Kallus turned to Ezra, acknowledging him with a nod. "Thank you," he said, gratitude melting away the sternness, his features softening. "I'm not sure what I would have done without your help."
Ezra shrugged casually, though the words warmed him through. "Probably something embarrassing," he said. "Hey, look, if you need an extra hand around to help with them I'll be right there," he offered. He rubbed the back of his head, stepping away from Mart. "I'm running out of things to do anyway and I need to keep... active," he explained, his eyes darting to the side.
"I understand. I'll let you know."
"Thanks," Ezra said, trudging off deeper into the hanger.
Kallus watched him go. Ezra's tread was somber, and Kallus wished he knew the boy's thoughts. He turned back around to see Mart looking at him with tilted head and curiously squinted eyes.
"What?" he asked.
"...Is your name really Alexsandr?"
Kallus flushed and whipped about to shout his sputtered complaint at Ezra's rapidly disappearing back.
"For the—Ezra!"
(A/N)- Chapter notes! Let's see...
1. I always kind of wonder about the reactions background members of the Rebellion would have to Protagonist Shenanigans. (Like, you can't even tell me there weren't whispers of suspicion among the ranks after Ezra almost killed that one dude in "Visions and Voices".) So I threw in a random mechanic to be all, "Shit dude, go ahead, that sounds pretty important." at Ezra.
2. Ezra's empathy and compassion is my favorite thing about him. He just loves people so much and believes in their inner goodness and wants to protect them and make them feel alive.
3. I think a talk like this probably happened behind the scenes in canon, if nothing else to explain why Ezra was so ready to trust Mart with the secret of his impulsive Summon Purrgils idea.
4. I told y'all I would be exploring Mart's reaction to his uncle's death. I love that prickly, angry, impulsive, stupid little bastard and BY GOD I WILL GIVE HIM NARRATIVE JUSTICE.
5. Trollrza strikes again! Poor Kallus, the kids will never take him seriously again lol.
Bout six more chapters left in this beast! I hope you've enjoyed the ride and stick with me through to the conclusion.
