I wrote this in like, three hours.


Keith dragged his feet as he walked toward Lance's bathroom. Why? Why was this happening? Why had he let Lance talk him into this? He stopped at the door and let his head fall back to groan at the ceiling. He heard movement inside the room, but raised his hand. After hesitating a moment, he knocked and called, "Lance? It's Keith..."

The movement jumped around the room beyond the door and Keith took a step back in alarm as something crashed. Then the door opened to reveal Lance leaning against the frame. Brushing his hair back, he grinned with charisma and gestured Keith to enter with a wide arm. "Welcome, Mr. Kogane, to Resort de la McClain. Please, come in and let us take care of you."

Keith felt his lip twitch with confusion and he took another step back. "Lance... what are you doing?"

Lance dropped the act and ducked his head sheepishly. "Just come in. I was just trying to give you the full spa experience."

"So, there isn't anyone else in there?"

Lance sighed and shook his head. "It's just us."

Keith rubbed his arm self consciously, but he'd come this far. He skirted around Lance and looked around the room. The floor was littered with flower petals and their floral scent was heavy in the air. Several extra large fluffy towels and matching white bath robes were folded on a shelf where odorless candles flickered. He asked, "What did Coran think about the fire hazard?"

Lance went to the sink where bottles of exfoliates, oils, cleansers, and moisturizers were set out in order of use. "He doused me in water the first time he saw them."

Keith looked over, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Yeah," Lance admitted, "but I think it was more on principal than that he didn't understand that we use them to relax."

"And here I thought I was the pyromaniac."

Lance rolled his eyes and returned his smirk. "Har-dee-har, cowboy. Let's start this night off right." He held out one of the robes. "Time to change."

Keith reached out, hesitated, then took the bath robe. "Is this really necessary?"

Lance waved a finger, "Who's the master of hygiene here? Is it Keith, who doesn't even know his sugar scrubs from his deep soaks? I don't think so. Off with the crop jacket and leggings. It's time to cleanse and relax!"

Keith looked between the bath robe and Lance then back to the robe. Lance was already down to his boxers and tossed the robe on, cinching it at the waist. Keith turned to the corner and slowly followed suit. He folded his clothes and set them under the sink. The robe was soft, but bulky. The cuffs slid down over his hands every time he pushed it back. Taking a deep breath, he turned back and asked, "Alright, Lance, what next?"

Lance leaned on a reclining chair with a basin in front of it. "Take a seat. Hands in the bowls, feet in the basin."

Keith sat, but looked at the bowls. "Why?"

Lance grinned. "Mani/pedis!"

Keith pulled his feet up on the chair. "What? No!"

"Oh, come on, Keith. There's nothing weird about a guy getting his feet and hands taken care of." Lance filled the basin with steaming water and tested the temperature. Bending on one knee, he took hold of Keith's ankle and gently pulled it toward the basin. "There we go." Keith fought weakly, but then a laugh burst out of him. He slapped his hands over his mouth as Lance raised an eyebrow. "Um... do you have a foot fetish?"

"What? That's, ahahaha, that's what I was going to," Keith stopped speaking to giggle, "ask you! Let go! I- I can't-"

Lance grinned. "Keith, are you ticklish?"

Keith was shaking in the chair. He tried to contain the laughter and said, "Yes!" Then he was falling over. He noticed Lance give him a look and he protested, "Don't you dare, McClain! I will put your ass in the ground!"

Lance let go of Keith's ankle, but not before running a single finger up the pads. Keith twitched, then pulled his feet back onto the chair. Lance filled the second basin before the other chair and admitted, "I know you would, but I like my ass the way it is so I won't take advantage of this weakness even though I really, REALLY want to. But your feet will feel better if you do the soak. I'll walk you through how to remove the callouses and nasty skin when we're done."

Lance went to the sink and grabbed a small bowl filled with green cream. He smiled when Keith leaned back in the chair and settled his feet and hands into the water. Lance settled a rolled hand towel behind Keith's neck and soothingly suggested, "Close your eyes and relax. This will be cold."

Keith gave him a look, but did as told. When the cream touched his face, he flinched. He flinched every time the small wooden paddle spread more of the cool goop over his face. At last, he was covered and Lance set the bowl down. Then two cold discs covered his eyes. The soft music that had been playing in the background turned up enough for Keith to pick out classical pieces. The other chair creaked and water sloshed as Lance sat beside him.

Keith tried to ignore how awkward this was. He and Lance rarely just shared each other's company without antagonizing each other. But here they were, two dudes covered in face masks listening to each other breathe underneath the relaxing vibes that filled the room. By the time the water had gotten cold, he was actually calm.

A gentle timer began to beep and Keith reached up to uncover his eye. Lance was turned in the chair and he clicked a button to stop the jarring beep. "Okay, next phase. The paste should have dried and we'll peel off the mask."

Lance went to the mirror and tipped his jaw to rub the edge of the green on his face. Keith watched in horror as he pulled the thin sheet of dried paste and large sections separated from his skin with a small schk noise. Lance noticed his dropped jaw and said, "Go on. Try it. It's super satisfying."

Keith reached up, again hesitating, before awkwardly mimicking Lance. The sensation was weird, like that one time he'd gotten really sun-burnt and his skin had peeled in sheets. The air hit his face with a cool blast and he sucked in a breath. Lance rinsed off his face, taking special care to make sure his eyebrows and lashes were clean of dried bits. Then he grabbed a strange white stone with holes in it. "This is a pumas stone. Since you won't let me handle your feet, this is your best friend for removing dead skin. Let's sit on the tub and I'll show you."

Keith again watched in horror and a touch of curiosity as Lance put one leg on his other thigh and gently rubbed the stone against the curves and pads of his feet. He took special care around the ankle, then grabbed a wooden stick. He rinsed the rock, then handed it to Keith. He pointedly looked at Keith's pruney feet and then used the wooden stick to clean around his toe nails. Keith commented as he started rubbing away his dead skin, "That's kinda gross."

"Leaving toe jam is way worse."

"Yuck," Keith said trying not to gag.

Lance chuckled. Their conversation naturally ebbed and flowed as they went from cleaning their feet, to cleaning their faces. Lance explained every step and product with amazing detail. Keith hadn't even realized there was so much to it.

At last, Lance pulled up a scrub. "This one is my favorite. A bath soak and scrub."

"Bath? You never said anything about that."

Lance rolled his eyes and went to the tub. "Relax, Keith. Let me take care of you."

Keith bit back a retort. Normally, he would have shot a snarky reply, but if he were honest, this was nice. He rarely cut loose to this degree and Lance was being super nice for once. Lance raised an eyebrow at his silence and Keith used all of his strength not to cross his arms, but he couldn't fight a faint blush. "Alright. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Lance grinned like he had when Keith first knocked. Like Keith was his best friend instead of his arch rival. "Grab the honey milk bubble soap."

Keith looked at all the bottles in semi-disarray and found a yellow jug. Carrying it with both hands, he returned to the bath. Then all hell broke loose. He was bent over the fast flowing water when he tipped the jug by the handle. And it slipped. It slipped and the entire thing fell into the bath with a loud PLOOSH. Bubbles immediately began to froth and quickly filled the tub completely.

Lance had turned back at the sound and asked, "What did you do!"

"It was an accident! That lotion made my hands slick!"

"Well, now we're- Oh god, Keith!"

They had been overtaken by bubbles and a thick wall of the ticklish bubbles was spreading across the room. It went from floor to ceiling. Keith stepped back, hands out, until he found the wall. "Lance! Lance, haha, where- where are you?"

Lance giggled somewhere to his right. "Oh my gawd, Kogane! This! This is ridiculous!"

Keith started walking toward Lance with his hands out. "I didn't know!" Water began to flow over the edge of the bath and he heard Lance take a few steps by the splashing. "Just, follow my voice. We'll have to find the door!"

The footsteps came closer. Keith waded through the wall of bubbles, scooping them away from his face, but it was no good. He closed his eyes and groped blindly. Then his hand smacked into something with a loud sound and Lance cried out, "Ouch!"

Keith called, "Lance?"

"No, it's the mice. Of course it's me!" Lance's voice cracked and he went on, "You slapped me!"

"Sorry!" He waved his hands with more care until he found Lance's hand and locked their fingers together. "Let's just find the door so we can get out of this mess."

Lance slipped and slid in the water as Keith pulled him along. He complained, "It's going to take days to get the soap scum off the walls."

"You can use my bathroom."

"Huh?"

Keith stopped as he realized what he'd suggested. Lance stumbled into his back and they both struggled to keep their balance. He backtracked, "Well, that is, if you don't mind hauling all your stuff across the hall. And sharing with me..." Oh just shut up! He was digging a deeper hole with every word.

"That would actually be really nice, Keith. I-" Lance screamed as his feet slid out from under him and he pulled Keith down on top of his chest.

Keith opened his eyes to see Lance's face less than an inch from his. Their hand was pinned between them. Lance's bent knee supported Keith's hip. Lance groaned, his breath caressing Keith's lips. Keith tried to stand, but his legs were between Lance's and he couldn't slide back far enough not to push against Lance's groin. Lance's other arm had wrapped behind Keith when they fell. Whether to protect him or by accident wasn't clear. Keith asked, "Are you hurt?"

Lance finally rubbed the back of his head. "Just a bump. I'll be-" He opened his eyes and froze in shock. "fine."

Keith stammered, unable to form words, and used his one free hand to roll off of Lance, but Lance didn't let go of his other hand. Keith looked at their hands, then to Lance. Lance was blushing, but refused to look at him. They laid there beneath the bubble wall of protection as the water of the tub flowed to where they lay and soaked through their bath robes.

Lance finally said, "Uh... we should probably look for the door again."

"Yeah..." Keith agreed, "We probably should." But neither made any motion to move. Keith squeezed Lance's hand in his and said, "Hey, thanks for this." Lance finally made eye contact. "Spa night has been a lot of fun."

Lance smiled. It was soft like how he smiled at Keith when he thought he wouldn't notice. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. We'll have to go to an actual spa next time."

Keith blushed and grinned at the ceiling. "I don't know about that. I still can't handle a professional pedicure without laughing my ass off and we didn't get to do the bath soak."

Lance let out a strange squeak and cleared his throat. "Yeah... we'll have to work on that. Your ass is too nice to risk losing."

"What?"

"YOU HEARD ME!"

Keith laughed and looked at Lance. Lance smiled back and began giggling. The infectious bubble spread until they were both clinging to each other laughing hysterically on the floor.

Then the door opened with a small mechanical noise and Coran called, "Lance, is everything al- What the quiznak!"

Lance and Keith redoubled their laughter, faces close. Yeah, spa night had gone well.