Eric loaded everything from the encrypted pictures onto a thumb drive.
"Good luck," he said handing Mosley the small but powerful piece of equipment.
"Ready?" Hetty asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be." Mosley responded.
—
Deeks woke up in a pond of sweat. His head and his heart were pounding; he couldn't tell which one was causing him more agony. He glanced over and saw Kensi lying on the couch that he had spent so many days and nights on. He felt his heart settle a bit by looking at her. As much as he wanted things to be normal again, a rush of uncertainty filled his wobbly brain. The room would still spin for him, like he was riding a Merry go round, every so often.
Kensi slowly opened her eyes to his stirring sounds. "You ok, babe?" She softly spoke figuring the pain was causing his restlessness.
"I don't know, Kens. Are we really good?" He kept thinking about the hurtful things he said to her in his confusion about their uncertain future. "How can you forgive me? I know that what I said brought back the painful memories of Jack leaving you on Christmas. How do we move forward from this?"
Kensi looked down. "It was more painful." She didn't want to lie to the man she loved.
Deeks gently threw his head back. Had he not been in so much pain, he would have thrown it back with all his might. The anger was filling inside him for hurting her like he did. "You don't have to stay here," he said flatly.
"Do you not want me here?" She was taken back by his tone.
Deeks remained silent for a few moments, "I do, but I don't know how to forgive myself. We've never honestly fought like that. It scared me the way I felt."
"I disappointed you," she looked down. "This is gonna be a long road, isn't it?" Her eyes began to mist.
Deeks wasn't sure what to say. Even though they had talked early, he still felt weary of where they would go next. He didn't know if he could get past wanting out at the next sign of danger. He also didn't know if he could send her out without him by her side. He blew a deep sigh out of his mouth. "What do you honestly want, Kensi?"
"I want you." She looked at him now with water streaming down her face.
He turned away briefly to compose himself. He despised seeing her cry.
"I want to get married before we even plan to have kids, Deeks. We can't even set a date. Last time your mom asked for one, you told her February 29th. That's not for another year and a half. How can you expect me to quit my job and plan for children without having a date set for the wedding!" She felt the tears burning on her cheek. The mixed emotions between fear, anger and sadness were unbearable.
He knew she was right. He wasn't sure what was holding him up from setting a date with her. He loved her more than he loved anyone in the world. He'd never felt a connection like theirs before. "I'm sorry," he wiped a small tear puddling in the corner of his eye.
"I'm gonna let you get some rest and see what's happening with the team. Text me if you want me to come back later," she was irritated with the path the conversation had taken. She hated leaving him, but she knew if she stayed words that could shatter their slowly growing cracks might be uttered. She didn't want to do anymore damage until they could both sort things out and be 100 percent healthy.
Deeks fiddled with his hair, "ok," was all he could muster. As she walked out the door. "What am I doing," he uttered to himself smelling sunshine and gunpowder trail away.
—
Outside the Mission, Williams and his men stood armed waiting for Shay to exit the building.
"They are at the entrance," Nell informed her bosses.
"We're coming out," Shay hollered.
"Where is my boy?" Williams questioned.
"With the content of this," She flashed the thumb drive, "I have enough to put you away til he is well past 18."
"You think that will hold up in court? You haven't been able to put me away yet, I'm not concerned you will now." He smugly stated. "Now if you will Bring me my son, perhaps I will Let you live."
"Your son is not property like the arms you deal in, Mr Williams." Hetty chimed in with Sam and Callen behind her, weapons faced against Williams and his men.
"I thought I had you two killed," again smugly he pronounced.
"Oh so we are adding attempted murder to your charges?" Mosley began, "along with murder after you burned my friend alive! Why would I ever think Derrick was safe with you," she was beginning to lose her emotions thinking of Hidoko's demise.
"You shouldn't have sent her alone to find me, her death is on your head."
Shay put her head down, "yes it is, and so will yours be," she lifted her gun and pointed at him.
"Shay this is not the way, my dear," Hetty cautioned.
"Henrietta, I will never be safe with my son as long as he walks this earth.
—
Kensi wasn't sure where she was driving too. She was headed to the old building, but somehow ended up at the beach. That was his solace place. She took her boots off and walked towards the water. For a second, she felt like letting it overtake her. The waves danced in the moonlight and seemed so peaceful. Everything in her world right now was the exact opposite. She sat at the edge where the sand met the water, letting the waves run over her bare feet. She thought about her father for quiet some time. She looked to the sky. A single tear ran down her face, "I miss you daddy." The emptiness that filled her body was a familiar feeling. She thought back to when she was 15 and living homeless on the streets of LA. That was worst part of her life, until now. "I only want you to see the best parts of me,"
Kensi remembered telling Deeks shortly before they made their "thing" official. Even their first official fight or their fight over grilled cheese was nothing like this. She felt like her soul was being ripped out from her. She looked at her phone, hoping to see a text from Deeks asking her to return to the hospital. Nothing. She began to type, but hesitated deciding he should not be stirred up anymore tonight. She breathed in the salty air and wet sand. She walked back to the car and found two small containers. Kensi tended to be a bit of a slob, so she knew she could find what she was looking for. She walked back to the spot she was sitting. She took the first container and filled it with the ocean. The second container she loaded with fresh dry sand. She ran it through her fingers as she topped the lid on. She returned to the car and drove back to the hospital.
He was tossing and turning as she looked through his window. He winched in pain as he slept uneasily. She didn't want him to see her if he woke up. The doctor came around the corner from doing rounds.
"Hi Kensi, how are you feeling?"
"I'm ok, but I don't want to disturb him. Could you do me a favor?"
The doctor looked curiously and the brown eyed lady. Kensi took out the two containers and handed them to the doctor. "Can you put these near him. It should bring him peace."
The doctor nodded and transported the little containers of tranquility into his room.
Kensi looked through the window one last time before leaving. He seemed to settle into a calm position. Hoping her gifts help him get through the night, her fingers traced the words I love you on the glass as she walked away.
