Chapter 09 - Happy Inspector

Xellos Metallium sighed happily as the hot tea ran down his throat. Smacking his lips together, he reached for the pile of fresh cookies in the middle of the round table. He took a bite and hummed a very happy sound. Amelia and Phil sat next to him on the table, watching as he took his time eating and drinking. Filia, who refused to serve the tea, was sitting across the table with her arms cross tightly on her chest and a very mean glare on her face. Next to her feet, her iron mace was positioned against one of the table's leg. Gourry and Lina sat together on the kitchen counter, nibbling on their own batch of cookies, while Zelgadiss leaned against the wall with Mazenda's limbless body next to his feet. Before Xellos can reach for another cookie, Filia let out an irritated snarl and leaned over the table, her left eye was still twitching from earlier.

"THAT'S ENOUGH COOKIES." She moved the plate away from his fingertips. "TALK BEFORE I KICK YOU OUT INTO THE RAIN."

"Since you asked so nicely," Xellos retracted his hand into his damp jacket and took out a folder that was slightly wet from the rain. Lina slipped off the kitchen counter and looked over Filia's shoulder while Zelgadiss came to Amelia's side, both interested in what was in his folder.

"There were a number of mysterious deaths since the Alliance of the East arrival in Kataart." He sorted through the file. "I was able to identify all six men in the Alliance and found many disturbing indications that they were coming to Saillune for a search and destroy mission, prearranged by a hermit who goes by the name of Milgazia."

"Milgazia?" Filia and Lina loudly repeated the name.

"You know him?"

"Of course. He was one of us. Lina, Gourry, Milgazia and I were a part of an elite bounty hunting group in Zephilia, 5 years ago. That's where we all met." Lina gave a slight tremble when Filia mentioned Zephilia. "But we separated after a misfortunate outcome with a hunt-"

"Which, YOU are still in blame for, by the way."The redhead snorted loudly.

"While Lina, Gourry, and I decided to stick together and migrate to Saillune, Milgazia deserted us and went to the North."

"Milgazia is a heavy machinist expert. He was the one who converted Filia to the HGM." Lina gave Filia a sly smile, whom just rolled her eyes. "I always thought they were going to elope and hunt together for their honeymoon."

"Please," She scoffed loudly. "Milgazia had horrible leadership skills and only cared for himself."

"Sounds like someone we know." The redhead muttered off to the side. She jumped when Filia slammed her iron mace on the table, in front of her. "I-I was talking about myself!"

"So, this Milgazia-fellow," Phil looked at Xellos. "He ordered the Alliance to come to Saillune?"

"That is what the seventh member told me in his last breath." The police officer chuckled as he patted his papers together. "Then again, he could have been lying since I did have my gun in his mouth."

"But why would Milgazia want my Father dead?" Amelia asked loudly. "If he used to be a justice fighter like Lina-San, why would he order for my Father's death?" She stared at Lina and Filia intensely. Lina sighed and scratched the back of her neck.

"Look, Milgazia kept a lot of emotional baggage that none of us could really relate too. There were many times when we caught the guy torturing captured fugitives or just killing them for no apparent reason." She exchanged looks with Filia. "After we separated, I heard that he was caught sneaking into the northern borders by law enforcement and killed dozens of innocent officers, making him the most wanted-"

"WAS the most wanted." The police investigator stuffed another cookie into his mouth.

"He was caught?"

"No, he's dead." Shoving a handful of tucked-away photos in the middle of the table, everyone leaned forward slightly to see the multiple black and white photographs. It was of a decapitated body pinned against a cave wall with a solid black pole. A head with long thin hair was present in the photo, swimming in a puddle of dark liquid on the ground, it sat next to the broken pieces of a HGM. Lina stared at the picture. Slowly, she moved her pupils away and glared at the wall.

"You fucking idiot." She said softly as if Milgazia was right there with her.

"Who killed him?" Filia's eyes lingered on the photos with a broken expression.

"Who knows?" Xellos reached into his inner jacket pocket and took out a blood-stained letter. He placed the folded paper in front of Lina. "Don't shoot the messenger." Lina scoffed at his statement and unfolded the letter. She recognized the writing as Milgazia's.

Search and Destroy. Philionel El Di Saillune. Lithium.

Lina crumpled the letter in her hand and threw it at the photos. She turned her head to Xellos when he released a soft chuckle. Watching him drink his cup of tea for awhile, Lina found no hint of anything on his happy face. This guy was good at not showing his emotions.

"Were the scary lady and the fast robot guy part of the Alliance too?" Gourry asked with a mouthful of cookies.

"If you mean, Mazenda and Kanzel as the scary lady and the fast robot guy…" Gourry nodded. Xellos moved through his papers and took out an enlarged photograph of one of the six faces of the Alliances. It was a picture of an old man with a wild white beard, his eyes slightly bugged out of his sockets. "They're origins are unknown but there is Doctor Diol. He is an engineer from Zephilia who specializes in metal fusions and is credited as the East's brightest mad scientist."

"When did the Alliance take interests in old mad scientists?" Zelgadiss flipped through the contents of the file with Amelia looking over his shoulder.

"Right after they tried to recruit Lina-San and Gourry-San, they thought the only things that are better than the Bandit Killer and her Idiot Stooge would be robots."

"They thought wrong." Lina pointed at the limbless body of Mazenda against the wall with a proud smirk.

"I noticed." He said without glancing at the pathetic dead body. As he allowed everyone to look through his papers, Filia frequently glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. This man looked familiar for some reason. Unable to pinpoint the source, she disregarded the idea altogether and continued to look through the pages of notes.

"Xellos," Lina held a sheet of paper with handwritten notes. "You were the one who wrote that letter, weren't you?"

"Letter?" The purple-haired man tilted his head to the side. "Hmm? What letter?"

"The letter that warned us about Phil's assassination attempt." She passed his notes and took out the said-letter from her vest pocket. "You wrote that, didn't you?" Lina shoved the neatly scripted letter at Xellos's face. Chuckling, Xellos just shrugged his shoulders.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be doing my job, would I?"

"If you didn't write that letter and warn us about the assassination, Phil would've gone unprotected during the assassination."

"That's right." Amelia gasped, she reached over and grabbed Xellos's gloved hands, in which he lifted an eyebrow. "Thank you, Xellos-San! You are a savior! Certainly, you are a Justice Fighter like all of us!"

"I was just following my orders." He slipped his hands out of Amelia's tight grip and scooted his chair away from her, only to get an arm wrapped around his shoulders by Phil.

"You are welcomed to my dinner table, my boy." The heavy man shook the damp man. Xellos chuckled timidly and pushed himself out of Phil's arm.

"No need to thank me-"

"Good because you still owe me $5500 for the destroyed merchandise." Filia said loudly with her nose in the air.

"$5500?" The man repeated. "If I do recall, I broke only 17 clay pottery at $150 each, and 14 glass vases at $200. I owe only $5350." Reaching into his black suit pocket, he took his gold monocle and gently began to clean it with the end of his cleaning cloth.

"I guess it's true what they say about blondes," He said loudly. Blowing the dust off the lens, he placed his monocle over his left eye and smiled big. "They are as dumb as they are beautiful."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS MINUTE, YOU NAMAGOMI!"


"I haven't seen Filia get that twitchy and mad since the last time we didn't get the bounty." Huddled in the living room over a small coffee table on the hardwood floor, everyone was forced out the kitchen so Filia can take her frustration out while cooking breakfast. Lina elbowed Xellos in his ribs and gave him an angry look.

"Shut your mouth or she'll bring out the HGM."

"I was just stating facts, Lina-San." Xellos cheerfully replied.

"Those facts are not the nicest things to say, Xellos-San." Amelia whispered next to him. "Even if it is true, you shouldn't say it."

"So you want me to lie, than rather tell her the truth? Now, is that really just? LYING to a friend?" He leaned slightly forward, his eyebrows bouncing off his head.

"Um, well I… I don't-"

"A Justice Fighter does not lie to their friends." The man slightly opened his amethyst eyes. "I guess I was wrong about you. You don't fight for justice, do you, Amelia-San?"

"I-I don't?" She squeaked. "B-But I-I-I-I… Justice… I-I-I-"

"Anybody who lies to their friend is an unjust evil CRIMINAL." The last word struck her already failing heart. Xellos sighed, his head shaking as he rounded up his stack of papers. "I guess I would have to alert the authorities about you too, you big LIAR."

"MY HEART!" She squeaked as she cupped her chest, above her failing muscle.

"Shut up!" Lina slammed the police man's head against the table.

"I-I'm go-going to… PRISON?" Amelia's hands grabbed at her father's suit jacket.

"No, he is just making fun-"

"Actually, I'm not." Xellos leaned over with a big bump on his forehead. "I AM going to alert the authorities about your constant lying and Lina-San's assault." He commented while writing into a notepad. Tapping his pencil on the pad, he gave Lina and Amelia a cheerful smile. "Anything else you would like me to add onto your record?"

"R-RECORD?" Amelia shrieked and fell to the ground. Snarling at him, Lina kept her lips closed and sat back on her bottom. That's right; this big-mouth bastard is a police man. She needed to keep her hands, mouth, and revolvers under control. She had enough shit on her record already. Laying Amelia's body out on the floor, next to the group, Gourry fanned her with a piece of cloth while the rest continued their conversation about the Alliance.

"Inspector Metallium," Phil placed his hand over his knee, his cowboy hat slightly tipped forward. "What is it that you want to accomplish here?"

"Accomplish?"

"You're an inspector from Kataart. This is Saillune. You crossed over to the Eastern border, you are out of your jurisdiction thus you hold no authority here." He crossed his large arms. "According to general law, if a criminal leaves the border, the investigation is moved to wherever border that criminal is in. So, why are you here? What is it that you want to accomplish here?" The Police Commissioner questioned. Smiling, Xellos swirled the liquid in his clay teacup and released a soft chuckle.

"Why, Commissioner Saillune, do you not trust your fellow law enforcement?"

"I trust that you have great intentions and I thank you for giving early warning about the assassination-"

"But you want to know why I came down here when I could've just sent a telegram, right?" Xellos asked.

"Exactly." Phil nodded with an innocent smile. Lifting his solid black cane, he shoved the end at Lina's pointy nose.

"I devote myself in my work, Commissioner." Teasingly tapping the end of his cane against the tip of her nose, Lina snapped her jaws at the black cane and glared at him deathly. He switched to Zelgadiss and began to poke at his chest, in which Zelgadiss slapped it away and Xellos shook his head to him, the pencil in his hand moved across his notepad.

"This is my case and I am not about to hand it over to someone who has no idea what they are getting themselves into." He looked at Phil and smiled. "No offense to your department."

"None taken." The Police Commissioner waved his hand. "I understand your reason, Inspector Metallium, and I will allow your insubordination."

"Thank you, Commissioner Saillune-"

"On one exception," He stopped him from talking. "While you are in Saillune, you are answering under Filia-Dono and will be included in the bounty hunting group, understand?"

"Hmm?" Xellos touched the end of his chin with the handle of his cane and turned his head toward the kitchen. Filia had already turned away before he spotted her staring at the back of his head. He stared at her elegant figure and tilted his head to the side, his eyes looking over her tall and slender body.

"Can I sleep with Filia-San?" He suddenly asked aloud.

"YOU DISGUSTING, PERVERTED, FREAK-OF-NATURE!" Filia spun around and threw her cleaver at him. He didn't flinch when the knife struck in between his fingers wrapped loosely around his cane while Lina and Phil jumped back. Looking down at the cleaver, he lifted only his eyes at Filia and smiled provocatively.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"DISGUSTING NAMAGOMI." She commented and turned back to her counter.

"Oh yeah," Xellos turned his body back to everyone else, a pulsed vein plastered on his temple. "That's a yes."

"So, NAMAGOMI," Lina emphasized his nickname. "Do you have a plan to take the Alliance down?"

"I was hoping you had one, Lina-San." He picked out the cleaver out of his wooden cane and placed it flat on the table. "You are known as a genius, so don't prove me wrong."

"Genius?" Lina smirked. "I'm a fucking prodigy."

"Alright, prodigy," Zelgadiss rolled his eyes. "Think of a plan."

"I already got one." Spreading out the enlarged separate photos of the Alliance on the table top, she ordered Gourry to wake Amelia and screamed for Filia to listen.

"I'm listening!" She called back over her burning kettle.

"Look." Lina grabbed a blank paper and began to draw horrible figures of everyone. "They're after Phil so why don't we give him to them?"

"Our job is to prevent the Alliance from killing Phil. How is giving Phil to them supposed to keep him alive?" Zelgadiss asked loudly, he moved some of his long silver bangs away from his face and revealed his burns. He noticed Xellos looking at him and quickly shook his head, moving the bangs back to normal. But he had seen the permanent scarring already. Xellos just smirked at Zelgadiss, making him wince. Other than Phil, he was never comfortable around law enforcement. And this guy was making Zelgadiss very uncomfortable.

"The only reason why the Alliance hasn't been making a move is because of us." Lina pointed out. "We've been next to Phil's side constantly, but if we were to single him out, than they are bound to come out and play." Looking over Lina's shoulders, Filia raised her eyebrow to see a horribly drawn picture of herself.

"What is that?" Gourry pointed at a thing that was next to her pencil.

"It's you." Then the redhead glared at him. "What did you think it was?" He zipped his lips together and said nothing back. As Lina explained her entire plan to her team, she looked up when Xellos tapped his cane at the person next to the large ball-creature that was said to be Phil.

"Who's this thing?"

"This thing," Lina smirked. "This thing is another one of my stooges."


He thought this was going to be the date of the lifetime. That was what he thought but…

"This is Filia-Dono's son, Val." Phil wrapped an arm around Val's pointy shoulders; he pulled the sighing teenager to his side as he introduced him to the gather of people around him. It was the grand opening of the brand new restaurant. The same restaurant that Amelia asked him to go to but, Val turned his head to the side where Amelia was standing. She was here alright, but she was with Zelgadiss. Not wearing her usual loose white dress, Amelia had on a red half-sleeve corset dress with white gloves and her short raven hair was pinned up very elegantly. Even Zelgadiss had changed into a dark red suit with a black tie tucked under his vest to match with Amelia.

Why, Val dropped his head, why is he Phil's date and not the lovely Amelia's? Oh right, he groaned slightly, it was a part of the plan. The four walked in first as the restaurant opened its front doors first time, Amelia's arm draped around Zelgadiss's left forearm. As the waiters lead Phil and Val to the large center table, Amelia and Zelgadiss was taken to a smaller table near the front.

"Thank you." Amelia sat down as the seat was pulled out for her.

"No problem, Amelia." Gourry smiled in his white and black uniform.

"Don't get out of character, Gourry." Amelia's date snorted, he sat in the seat across from her and picked the black cowboy hat off his head. "They're around here somewhere."

"Don't be so uptight, Zelgadiss-San." Taking the menu from Gourry's apron, she flipped it open and looked it over. "Try to relax and have some fun." Zelgadiss sighed and accepted his menu from Gourry. More people walked into the restaurant and was seated everywhere. His eyes moved around over the menu, he tried to find any familiar faces that recognized on the wanted posters. He stopped when his eyes went on Amelia. She looked completely different in front of him. He never saw her hair pinned up or wear this much make-up. It made her older and graceful, which was unlike her usual adorable and childish looks. Zelgadiss watched her with stern serious eyes. He kept his severe expression when she noticed him. Amelia dropped her menu on her lap and fully met his eyes.

"Is something the matter?" Drumming his fingers against the table, he finally lowered his eyes to his menu and cleared his dry curious throat.

"You initially asked Val out for tonight?"

"Oh, yes," Amelia turned her head to the sighing teenager at the center of the restaurant and giggled. "I feel bad that he needs to eat dinner with Daddy when I originally asked him but oh well, I will make it up to him."

"Make it up to him." He repeated slightly agitated, one of his eyebrows began to twitch. "You mean, you're going to ask him out on a date again?"

"Why would I ask him on a date?"

"Because," His unnerving fingertips continued to loudly tap against the table. He pretended to be uninterested as his eyes kept moving around his menu. "Because you obviously have feelings for the boy, why else would you ask him out for tonight?"

"Well, it's true that I asked Val-Kun out for tonight." Amelia suddenly admitted. He swore he felt his heart broke into two and fell to the ends of his stomach. "But only as a friend." Zelgadiss looked up instantly from his menu and stared at her with slightly widen eyes, his fingers stopped tapping.

"Val-Kun and I are only good friends, Zelgadiss-San." She gave him a wink with a great big grin. "There is nothing to be worried about."

"Worried?" He said rather loudly, a slightly blush had formed over his face. "W-Why would I be worried? There is nothing for me to be worried about. NOTHING." Telling himself that, Zelgadiss looked back at his menu with a sigh of relief while Amelia stared at him. She saw the developed smile on his face and grew a bigger one. The made-up beauty knew there was a reason behind why he was so distant and insisted that their table was as far away from Val and Phil's table. It was because he wanted to get her alone and confront her about her friendship with Val-Kun. She giggled. When will Zelgadiss-San realize that there is only one man she wants to be with? Oh well, Amelia giggled again, in due time.

"My, what a beautiful couple!" Filia sneaked over to the table with a cat-like smile, she had the same uniform like Gourry. "This must be your first date. What an honor to see you two together for the first time."

"Shut up." The overwhelmed blushing bounty hunter snarled, steam fizzed out of his head. "People can hear your annoying loud voice."

"Well," The tall disguised waitress scoffed and placed her hands to her hips. "If you're going to keep being nasty, Amelia may not want to go on a second date with you, Zelgadiss."

"D-Date?" His blush only got bigger. This was a DATE? He thought it was a plan to drive the Alliance out!

"Oh, Filia-San, stop teasing Zelgadiss-San!" Playfully slapping her boss on the elbow, Amelia laughed softly with a blush.

"I'm just saying." Filia took out her notepad from her apron and pencil out of her pinned-up hair bun. "You spent 4 hours making yourself beautiful and for what? For a foul-mouthed date? If I were you, I would dump him and stay single. Now, what are you kids going to have for dinner?" As Amelia ordered and Zelgadiss was busy thinking up lines, Gourry walked around the packed restaurant, his eyes moving from face to face. Nobody in here looked or resembled anybody like the 6 wanted men. Turning around, he went to the only empty table in the restaurant next to the window. He poked his head out and made a soft bird call using his lips. Lina looked out from inside of a wooden large barrel across the street and watched Gourry make strange hand gestures around his face. After a few signals, Lina growled when he drew his tongue out and wagged it at her.

"What the hell is that Idiot doing? We're just across the street. He doesn't need to make those stupid hand signals." She gave him her own ridiculous facial expression.

"I believe he's telling us that the Alliance has not arrived yet." Xellos mentioned with his head looking over Lina's shoulder.

"Keep your position, Gourry." Lina hissed with her hands cupped around her mouth. "Xellos and I will continue to stay out here. Tell the others to keep both eyes open." Giving her a thumbs-up, Gourry returned into the restaurant.

"I guess the rumors were true." Xellos chuckled next to her. They sink back into the wooden barrel and kept their backs pressed against each other.

"I'm assuming those rumors are about me." Lina rolled her eyeballs. "Well, be more specific. There are tons of rumors spread across Red Orb about me."

"But none about your relationship with Gourry-San, I wonder why." He mentioned. Keeping both eyes on the single hole in front of her, Lina just snorted.

"Because there is nothing going on between me and the idiot." After a few minutes of just silence, Lina was deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear Xellos turning around in his half of the wooden barrel. He moved so close to her that his mouth was just millimeters behind her ear.

"Do you not UNDERSTAND the meaning of PERSONAL SPA-" Just as her head turned with her fist raised, Lina stopped the instant she saw how close Xellos was to her. His lips were practically just a hairline away. Her eyes widen when he brought his hands against the wooden barrel next to her shoulders, keeping her from moving away.

"I've been watching you and your team for a good while, Lina-San." His eyes flickered a shade of raw emotion that got Lina to gulp. "Especially you."

"I'm flattered, Inspector." The redhead smirked; she pretended to not be fazed by his closeness. "So, you have a little crush on the most dangerous woman in the East?"

"You can say that." He moved his hand behind her back and pulled her body forward, making her feel his groin. Lina bit her tongue, stopping her from blushing. She never felt another man's junk other than Gourry. Even if it is through his pants, Lina could tell how hard this inspector was for her.

"You sure know how to impress a lady." She spread a seductive smile across her face.

"You should see me in bed." Xellos lowered his hand just above her buttocks, his fingertips fiddled around the strap of her belt. "Or perhaps, later tonight?" Deep in her head, she began to scream at herself. What the HELL are you doing, you Idiot? You are with Gourry! You and Gourry! YOU AND GOURRY! But, Lina stared at Xellos's seductive and lustful smile, she just told him that there was nothing going on between her and Gourry. That's because that's your defense mechanism, her mind snapped. You were always denying your feelings for Gourry! Right now, is the perfect time to stop denying and admit it! YOU AND GOURRY ARE IN LOVE!

"Later tonight?" Lina moved her hands up from the sides of her body and wrapped it around Xellos's neck. "Why don't you show me, right now?" She pulled him down to her lips and moaned the moment his tongue entered her mouth. He tasted different. He moved different. He was different. He wasn't as gentle and loving like Gourry was. Xellos was more raw and lusting. After a hungry taste of each other's mouth, Xellos unlaced the front of Lina's red blouse and moved his head down.

What is her relationship with Gourry? That was all Lina could think about as Xellos sucked and licked her hard nipples. True, they have sex when they get a chance but unlike any other couple, they didn't admit their feelings towards each other yet. A harsh moan left Lina's lips when Xellos nibbled on her small breasts, teasing and pinching with his teeth. Her fingers curled into Xellos's hair with every intense pleasure she felt as his teeth tortured her nipples.

Hell, Lina didn't know if Gourry felt the same for her as she did for him. They've met during a hunt and became partners since they were so compatible with each other. One thing lead to another and what started off as a great partnership turned into heavy sexual desire that exploded that one night when Lina begged him to stay by her side. Xellos made sure to take his gloves off before entering Lina's wet and hot lips, he snickered when she let out a sharp moan. Her entire thought process went blank when his fingers dug deep inside of her, looking and wandering for that special spot. It only took seconds when he found it and her entire body went rigid. His mouth went to her ear and began to say real provocative lines that Lina couldn't understand. She was too lost in her own pleasure. With every push, claw, pinch, and grind that this man did, it sent her spasms of explosive measures.

Catastrophic feelings that even Gourry couldn't make her feel. It felt so good that Lina looked down to see if it really was only his fingers and not anything else. It only took half a minute for her to orgasm and another half a minute to orgasm a second time. Panting heavily against Xellos's chest, Lina looked up at his smirking face and blushed. This wasn't his first rodeo at all. He was really good. Moving positions, her eyes grew wide when Xellos opened his pants for her. His manhood stuck out just for her. It was thick and long. At the tip, there was already cum seeping out. She went on her knees and took the massive thing in her hand.

"Suck it." The man brought his hand to her shoulder and pulled her closer, the tip of his penis tapped against her cheek spreading his pre-cum. Never would Gourry order her to suck his penis. He would never order her around or tell her to do such nasty things. "Suck my penis."

"I-I don't know-" She was quickly interrupted when Xellos shoved his manhood into her mouth and down her throat. She wanted to throw up. This was the first time she had a male's genitals inside of her mouth and it was probably going to be her last. Struggling to keep her food down, Lina allowed him to control her head. She did nothing as he pumped his unfamiliar penis in and out of her mouth.

All she could think about was her first night in Saillune as an unwanted fugitive and begging Gourry to be with her. She thought they were never going to stop running but when they arrived in Saillune with Filia and her adopted son, they were finally able to sleep in warm beds and rest their tired bodies. Unfortunately, she and Gourry never stopped roaming their curious hands around each other's unknown territory throughout that night.

Xellos got faster. He was close. Lina opened her eyes slightly to see his expression. His eyes were vibrant and raw, filled with aggression and uncontrollable limitation. For some reason, the redhead knew that this is not going to be her last encounter with this inspector's lust. Lowering her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Gourry from the window through the hole on the wooden barrel and watched him talk joyfully to a table of fat customers.

What are they really? They are partners at work, best friends during days off, and lovers when they were alone. So, which is it? Are they partners? Best friends? Are they lovers? Lina gasped when Xellos shoved her aggressively off his penis and splattered his white thick substance all over her face. Raising her fingertips to the line of cum across her cheek, she touched it carefully and looked at it.

What are they? They were Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev. Lina opened her mouth and licked the white juice off her fingertips. They were nothing but Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev. Two people who worked, hung out, and had sex with one another. Nothing more, nothing less.