AVENGERS®
Deadpool©
Chapter 9
Deadpool: The Hunt For Logan
Note: I may of taken longer than usual to write this chapter, I'm not sure? I was busy writing another story 'MORTAL KOMBAT®: Scorpion vs Sub-Zero' – okay, enough plugging.
Enjoy!
Deadpool scratches his head
" So? Ah – how's this gonna work? " MJ, Black Cat and Spidey look at Deadpool, he continues
" You know? MJ's gonna ride with you, right? *points to Spidey* on the account of me not having web-stringy things shooting from my wrists and not having a grappling claw, note to self; gotta get me one of those, how am 'I' gonna travel? " Black Cat, MJ and Spidey look amongst each other
" You can ride on my back " Says Black Cat, Deadpool so wanted to jump for joy but, remained composed
" Really? Are you sure you can carry me? " Questions Deadpool, Black Cat puts her hands on her hips
" I 'do' have above average strength, you know "
" Nope, I didn't know " Replies Deadpool shaking his head
" That's not all you have " MJ taunts
" MJ! " Spidey says in a scolding tone
" You know, you should really put a gag on her " Retorts Black Cat
" Ladies pleeease don't start again " Spidey begs, Black Cat and MJ look away from each other
" Come on Deadpool, let's go " Commanded Black Cat
" Okay " Deadpool climbs onto Black Cat's back
" Follow me Cat, I know a few of Logan's favourite bars " Spidey motions for MJ to climb upon his back, he then spins a web and sets off with Black Cat and Deadpool in tow. After a few minutes Spidey realizes Deadpool and Black Cat were missing, he stops on a nearby rooftop
" Where the hell are Deadpool and Cat? "
" How should 'I' know " Shrugged MJ, Spidey shakes his head
" Do you even care? "
" Not really! " MJ said apathetically (internal monologue) " Oh boy, this is gonna be a long day, what the hell is going on? Instead of looking for Logan, we have to now look for Deadpool and Cat! Why can't anything go smoothly?... Oh yeah – I'm Spider-Man, my life is 'filled' with complications "
Meanwhile.
" Ah – where we going? " Asks Deadpool, Black Cat looks over her shoulder slightly
" It's a secret " She replies
" A secret? O-h... got it... you want some alone time with me " Teases Deadpool
" WHAT? " Black Cat squeals in disbelief
" No, it's okay, I wanted some alone time with you myself " Reveals Deadpool
" You idiot! I don't want some alone time with YOU! " Affirms Black Cat
" Heheheh – no need to be embarrassed " Deadpool taunts
" I'M NOT! I - "
" Sshhhh, it's okay "
" GAWD! You're impossible! " Black Cat lands on top of the Daily Bugle
" Huh? - The Daily Bugle? Why are we here? " Questions Deadpool
" Shhu-ush! " Black Cat leads Deadpool into a vent used by Spider-man to enter the Daily Bugle incognito
" You know - I'm not good with tight spaces " Whines Deadpool, Black Cat ignores him and drops into the room below, Deadpool follows and finds himself in a closet, then, Black Cat grabs his arm
" WOW! You are a little impatient aren't you? " Jests Deadpool, Black Cat marches him into J Jonah Jameson's office, Deadpool looks around confused
" WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? " Yells Jameson
" Mr. Jameson, I'm here to collect the bounty " Announced Black Cat
" Whaaa? - - " Deadpool sounds in disbelief
" WEB-HEAD! WHAT DO YOU WANT? " Jameson glares at Deadpool
" Spidey's here? Where? " Deadpool says looking around
" Huh? *Black Cat looks at Deadpool and remembers he is dressed as Spider-man* NO! Wait this is Deadpool "
" Really? YA DON'T FOOL ME! NOW SCRAM! " Jameson motions for them to leave
" Does he have to shout everything? " Deadpool asks rhetorically
" No, really this 'is' Deadpool – look! He has guns and katana strapped to his back " Pleads Black Cat, Jameson pulls a face of contempt, she continues
" Please, I'm here for the bounty! "
" BOUNTY? Sorry Miss, but, there is no bounty " Says Jameson dismissing Black Cat, she frowns in confusion
" But, you announced that if anyone bought Deadpool to you, you would give a reward " Jameson furrowed his brow
" What are ya - DEAF? I said there is NO BOUNTY! Besides, you brought SPIDER-MAN! " Says Jameson
" Grrrrh... that, that can't be? " Black Cat clenched her fists and started to shake with anger
" SECURITY! COME ESCORT THESE TWO VAGRANTS! " Black Cat motioned for Jameson to stop
" No no, it's okay, we're going – come on Deadpool! " Black Cat said through gritted teeth and angry eyes, Jameson sneered, just then, something flew by the window
" Wait – wasn't that Iron-Man? " Said Deadpool pointing to the window, Black Cat shrugs, Deadpool peers out the window, everyone starts to get a little intrigued and join Deadpool in looking out the windows, just then something flew by the window again, this time in the opposite direction
" See! There he is again " Proclaimed Deadpool
" That didn't look good " Said Black Cat
Building shakes. All the Daily Bugle staff head for cover under desks
" WOOWAH! What the hell? " Deadpool opens a window and looks out
" … hmmmm... Looks like a fight a few blocks down, oh and Iron-Man seems to be stuck in a building " Reports Deadpool nonchalantly
" YOU TWO! YOU'RE HEROES, supposedly, SO STOP STANDING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING! " Yelled Jameson from under his desk
" Right! " Deadpool heads towards the office door
" HEY! WALL CRAWLER! AREN'T YOU GONNA JUMP OUT THE WINDOW? "
" Errrh hell no! I'm not Spidey – I'm Deadpool, do I have to hit you again? " Jameson cowers under the desk bewildered, a reluctant and bereft Black Cat decided to approach the window
" Hey BC give us a ride down there... Hey BC... HEY!... What the hell?... " Black Cat ignored Deadpool and lept out of the window, Deadpool ran upto the window and looked out, he saw Black Cat heading away from the commotion
" O-kay? " Deadpool waves goodbye to the Daily Bugle staff and heads to the elevators
" Man, I wish I could fly or something " Deadpool pondered as he headed to the ground floor, Deadpool exited the Daily Bugle and started to run towards the disruption
" I'm 'sooooo' gonna get Tony to make me some sorta mode of transport – like – like a jet-powered cycle or – or rocket boots or... waita minute *slaps forehead* he can fix this piece of crap transporter – yeah! " Deadpool arrives on scene gasping for air – a few seconds later
" aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh "
KHEEEEERSCH!
" ... eeeruuuuh... " Spider-Man was struck by an unknown assailant into a nearby building, he got up and shook of the debris
" Dude! You okay? " Asks Deadpool
" DEADPOOL! Where the HELL have you been? " Demands Spidey
" Okay – you sound pissed, what have I done now? "
" What have you – you disappeared! "
" Oh! That! Well, BC wanted some alone time with yours truly – incoming " Deadpool motions for Spidey to duck, Spidey ducks the incoming debris
" WHAT? 'Really?' " Spidey questions
" Yeah! She took me to the Daily Bugle, it's different I know "
" WHAT? Dressed like THAT? … What the hell was she thinking? "
" She wanted to claim the bounty "
" THE BOUNTY? "
" Yes, but, only there is no bounty "
" NO BOUNTY?... Wait - no bounty? " Spidey said confused
" … as I was saying, Mr. Jameson said there was no bounty - which is strange, 'cause I was attacked twice last nite for it? "
" I can't believe her! Now do you see? I told you there was always an agenda with her – I knew she couldn't be trusted – speaking of which, where 'is' Cat? "
" Urrrrh... she took off, she was upset about the bounty "
" Yeah I bet she was "
" She musta really 'needed' that money "
" Don't be fooled Deadpool, she probably needed it to pay off some gang boss, loan shark or something non-legit "
" I don't know, I get the feeling it's more than that "
" 'Re-ally?' Is that the 'not so famous Assassin's Sense' talking? "
" Hey! Don't dis th- uerh! " Deadpool was struck by some debris from the fight, he massages his head
" aow-ah, that hurt! Thanx for the heads-up by the way "
" Sorry " Shrugged Spidey, a shadow looms above them
" Spider-Man and – Spider-Man? "
" Nah – that's Deadpool " Says Spidey pointing to Deadpool
" That would explain the swords and guns. Do I want to know why he's wearing one of 'your' costumes? "
" Errh... No "
" Okay! So, you two! Are you going to help or stand around chatting? " Asks Iron-Man
" Actually, I wouldn't mind finishing our chat " Replies Deadpool
" Deadpool! " Spidey says in a way for Deadpool to shut-up and show some respect
" Haha – It was more of a polite order as opposed to an actual question " Iron-Man states rejoining the fight, Spidey and Deadpool jog towards the fight
" So? Who are we giving a butt whooping to? " Asked Deadpool
" Not sure? Someone/thing new! "
" AWESOME! "
" Awesome? You think 'this' is awesome? "
" Yep! Why? Don't you? "
" HELL NO! "
They rejoin the fight to see Captain America, Iron-Man and Luke Cage combating an unknown adversary, Cap looks over his shoulder to see Spidey and Deadpool arrive, he frowns – confused
" Two Spider-Men? " Cap enquires
" No – that's Deadpool! " Says Spidey pointing to Deadpool who, was waving
" Okay! Ummm... Spider-Man! Get high – take it from above with Iron-Man " Orders Captain America
" Okay! " Spidey heads high and teams with Iron-Man
" Deadpool! You're with me " Commands Cap
" Yes! Double awesome! " Deadpool says saluting
" Ion repulsers ready! " Iron-Man blasts the Unknown with little effect, Spidey swings by double kicking the Unknown to the head, Captain America throws his shield at it while Luke Cage is pounding away, Deadpool is configuring his guns
" Okay... now – I press this – no, that and... oh, that's it! Ready! " Deadpool set his guns to stun and readied them
" EVERYONE! GET TO COVER! DEADPOOL HAS HIS GUNS OUT! " Shouts Spidey in jest, Deadpool fires his guns, the Unknown starts to spasm
" Well done Deadpool! " Praises Cap, Deadpool smiles ear to ear, under his mask of course, the Unknown collapses, they gather round it
" Okay, that was a little 'too' easy don'tcha think? " Says Spidey
" Yeah! Spidey's right man, I wasa poundin' dat thin' wiv li'l effect, den, Deadpool shows up an' puts it down – man, dat's not right! " States Cage
" Agreed! " Cap puts his hand on his chin
" I must admit it is a little strange, maybe it is a testament to your ingenuity Tony "
" Thank you Cap " Deadpool positions himself so everyone can see him and announces
" So, let me get this straight, no-one here believes that I could put down that – that – well, * looks over his shoulder and points to the Unknown * whatever that is? "
" Yep! " Spidey chirps, Deadpool folds is arms in a huff
" Man, you are all just jealous! I took out the Rhino AND my buddie Frank – Punisher to you " Cap, Cage, Iron-Man and Spidey start to look through Deadpool – Deadpool carries on
" So I think I can take down whatever 'that' is – don't you? " Spidey, Iron-Man, Cage and Cap's mouths drop, only Cap's and Cage's are visible, Deadpool starts waving his hands trying to be noticed
" Hellooooo?... What?... What are you looking at? " Deadpool turns round to see the Unknown rise to it's feet
" Oh crap! " The Unknown struck Deadpool sending him into a parked car – breaking many bones in his body, Deadpool didn't move, Cap, Cage, Iron-Man and Spidey readied themselves concerned at the power of the Unknown
" That musta hurt! " Remarked Spidey, Iron-Man turns to Cap
" Cap! What's the plan?... Cap! " Cap ponders for a moment before answering
" Iron-Man try your chest beam canon "
" WHAT? That might kill it? " States Iron-Man
" It has been unaffected by our previous efforts, what else do you propose? " Reaffirms Cap
" Maybe it has a weakness to something? Water, fire – we should try that first "
" Too risky! We must protect the citizens of New York, we cannot afford to let this Unknown live – he is unaffected by any of our attacks, we have to consider putting it to rest " Iron-Man knew Cap was right but, he didn't feel right killing something, but, he wasn't sure his chest proton canon would kill it
" I need time to build up the charge "
" We will get you the time. Spider-Man get high – Cage distract it's attention " They nod and do as they are told, Iron-Man seeks a safe place to charge up his beam
" What about me? " Cap spins round in surprise
" DEADPOOL? Are you okay? " Deadpool pats himself all over
" I'm good!... I think? "
" Okay, do what you do best " Deadpool salutes and skips towards the Unknown, Cage is going toe-to-toe with it while Spidey uses his webbing to disrupt the Unknowns attacks. Deadpool stands in a strong stance with both guns tilted like a Yakuza member
" Okay punk! Get ready for some ASSASSIN'S TWIN FANG PARALYSING STRIKE! " Deadpool fires his guns – nothing, Deadpool inspects his guns
" Hey! What gives? " Iron-Man notices Deadpool having trouble with the guns
" DEADPOOL! ARE YOU TRYING TO USE THE STUN PULSE AGAIN? " Deadpool nods
" YEAH WHY? "
" BECAUSE YOU CANNOT CONTINUALLY USE IT! BETWEEN EVERY SHOT THERE IS A COOLDOWN PERIOD, TRY ONE OF THE OTHER SETTINGS FOR NOW "
" OKAY! " Deadpool starts to reconfigure the guns, Spidey and Cage are taken out by the Unknown, in the distance a flying object approached – it was the Fantasticar, the Thing leapt to the ground
" Okay! Who needsa clobberin'? " The Thing jokes
" I'd say the big dude trashing New York " Retorts Johnny
" Naw ya don't say? " The Thing counters sarcastically
" FLAME ON! " Johnny becomes a human torch and soars into the sky, Reed Richards lands the Fantasticar and approaches Captain America
" Captain Rogers, we offer our assistance " Says Reed Richards
" Much appreciated Richards, thank you " Accepts Cap shaking Richards hand, Deadpool fires his rubber bullets at the Unknown, with little effect
" This is embarrassing " Mumbles Deadpool, Johnny spots Deadpool
" Hey Spidey! How ya doing? Oh, and why are you using guns " Deadpool looks up
" That's Deadpool, I'm Spidey " Johnny spins round to see a different Spidey waving at him from the side of a building
" Wait! * looks back and fourth between Spidey and Deadpool * how do I know which is the 'real' Spidey? " Spidey points at Deadpool
" Errrh because he's using guns and 'I'm' stuck on the side of a building "
" Oh – right, well, it's good to see ya buddie "
" Yeah, good to see you to Johnny " Johnny nods and heads into battle, he circles the Unknown throwing fireballs
" Urrrh! HE SEEMS TO BE IMMUNE TO FIRE – NOT GOOD! " the Thing sniggers
" Stand aside flame-brain, I gots this " the Thing charges the Unknown but is swatted away like a fly, he smashes into a nearby building
" BWAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAH! * wipes a tear from eye * BEN! Hahahah YOU OKAY! " Shouts Johnny, with little concern, the Thing rubbed his head as he sat amongst the debris
" Errrrgh... peachy " Murmured the Thing, Johnny smiled
" REED WHAT DO WE DO NOW? " Richards ponders and turn to Sue Richards
" Sue! Can you encase it in one of your force fields? "
" I'll try Reed " Sue Richards tries to encase the Unknown, Cap motions for the Avengers to gather round and back off
" Errruh... Reed! This thing - errrh... it's strong... I can't - errrh... hold it! " The Unknown broke the force field
" Thank you for trying Sue " Richards stretches himself around the Unknown in an attempt to incapacitate it
" OKAY! MY PROTON BEAM CANON IS CHARGED! " Shouted Iron-Man
" RICHARDS! LET GO OF THE UNKNOWN! " Ordered Cap, Richards did so but, in all the commotion they failed to see that SHIELD agents had surrounded them, a SHIELD helicarrier descended from the clouds
" THIS IS AKTING COMMANDAR BLACK WIDOW ON BEHALF OF COLONEL NICK FURY. DESIST YOWR ATTAKZ IMMEDIATELY! " Black Widow ordered through a speaker phone, the heroes look around in confusion
" Wait! Is she talking to us? " Questioned Spidey puzzled, more SHIELD agents flood out of the SHIELD helicarrier, so too does Black Widow, the SHIELD agents surrounded the Unknown and were seemingly subduing it with special guns, Black Widow approaches Captain America
" We shall take et frum heur. Thank you and yowr team fur yowr assistance Captaen Amerika " Says Black Widow, Cap was taken aback
" What? You expect us to just... leave? " Says Cap
" Exactley, now, pleese go " Reaffirmed Black Widow dismissing him
" Eh-uh, NO WAY! I ain't gonna let SHIELD tell ME whut ta do " Protested Cage, Black Widow sighs
" Meester Cage, Pleese do noht make us restraen you yes " Threatened Black Widow
" I wanna see ya try " Cage said provokingly, Cap stood in front of Cage
" Easy Cage. Let me handle this " Said Cap, Black Widow starts to march around making sure everyone can here her as she yells
" ALL HEROWS! STOP! SHIELD ORDARS YOU TO STOP! " SHIELD agents start pointing weapons at the heroes
" DO NOT POINT GUNS AT US! " Demands Cap
" Then leeve " Says Black Widow, all the heroes gather round Black Widow, the SHIELD agents continue to suppress the Unknown
" You heard the woman right? We can all go home, 'cause SHIELD is here to save the day! Yay! " Spidey mocks
" I feel 'sooooo' much better, I'll be able to sleep well knowing SHIELD is here to protect us " Johnny adds sarcastically, Black Widow mutters something in Russian with contempt
" So? SHIELD has 'got' this. Excuse me if I'm not exactly, 'filled' with confidence " Says Iron-Man dubiously
" Does this mean that this is SHIELD's mess? " Asks Richards
" Not at leeberty to say " Everyone groans, Black Widow continues
" Yowr services are no longar required, now leeve! "
" Not until the citizens of New York are safe " States Cap
" Do not test me Captaen! SHIELD will contaen et, this es not up fur debate "
" What the hell is it? " Asks Deadpool, Black Widow scowls at Deadpool
" SHIELD dows not answar to you, you answar to SHIELD! "
" Come on Reed, It's obvious SHIELD is being unco-operative, let's go " Says Sue
" But Sue, I would like to know what that 'thing' is, no offence Ben " Sue puts her hands on her hips and furrows her brow
" REED! " Reed smiles nervously
" Okay Sue... Ben, Johnny, come on! "
" WHAT? And miss all the fun! Awww man " Moaned Johnny
" Yeah! I wanted ta see matchstick here get 'is butt whooped " Mocked the Thing
" Errh Ben, if memory serves me correct that 'thing' sent 'you' into a building like you were nothing hahahahahaah! " Joked Johnny
" I wasa warmin' up " Self-justified the Thing
" Yeah right hahahahahahaah! " They get into the Fantasticar and flew away
" And what abowt you? " Asks Black Widow, Cap pondered and shook his head
" This isn't right, we risked our lives – the least you can do is tell us what that thing is and why you do not want our help? "
" I do not hav to tell you anything " Cap was seething but, being a righteous man he composed himself and gave in to SHIELD's command
" Fine! AVENGERS! LET'S FALLBACK! " Commanded Cap, he leans in close to Black Widow
" I hope for the sake of New York you can contain this 'thing' " Black Widow acknowledged Cap
" Thank you fur leeving " The Avengers head back to Avengers Tower.
Avengers Tower. Deadpool and Spidey were chilling in front of the TV, Steve and Tony were in the Lab and Luke was in his room
" By the way Pete, what did you do with MJ? " Asks Deadpool, referencing the fact that MJ was teaming with Spidey in the search for Logan but, wasn't involved in the fight, Pete frowns
" MJ? Oh she... she... *Pete's eyes bulge in horror, he goes a little pale* MJ! " Pete leaps from the sofa
" Pete? " Pete ignores Deadpool as he dashes to his room muttering
" Crap crap crap crap... oh man, she's gonna kill me! "
MJ is sitting on a rooftop seething about being left there for so long. Black Cat swings by
" MJ? " Black Cat lands on the roof, MJ glares at her
" Cat " She says in contempt, Black Cat looks around
" Why are you sitting here? "
" 'cause my idiot husband has forgot about me! " MJ states in disdain
" Yeah Pete is a bit of a flake ha ha hah, don't you have a phone? " Inquires Black Cat
" I forgot to bring it " Black Cat waits a moment before offering
" Well, I errr if you want I could – drop you off at Avengers mansion "
" NO! " Black Cat looks out across the city skyline, the sun is starting to set
" Well, you can't stay up here all night can you? " MJ looks away from Black Cat
" I don't want your help! " Black Cat sighs
" Come on – you can go back to hating me tomorrow, okay? " Black Cat offers her hand with a sincere smile, MJ contemplates for a moment before reluctantly accepting her hand. Black Cat, with MJ on her back, sets off for Avengers Tower.
Next Time: Deadpool: The Motor Mouths vs Logan?
