Chapter nine caught with my pants down

After I had gotten done processing all of the evidence from the fifteen car pile up I decided that before I went home I was going to need a shower. I gathered up some clean coveralls a couple towels shampoo, soap and conditioner and I headed to the shower stalls.

I loved the feel of the hot water cascading down my back. My hair was completely encrusted with mud and sludge from the floods that we had been working through. Then I thought I heard someone else in the stall next to me get into the shower also. I listened as I heard the water running now the shower stalls were co-ed luckily each stall was separate and enclosed with doors so that one could have complete privacy. For some reason I just had that familiar feeling again. It was what I called the Grissom feeling I was always very aware when he was around. I think that it was because I had such strong feelings for him.

I listened quietly as I could hear him humming a familiar tune in the stall next to me. I knew that tune very well he always hummed that same tune when ever he showered I guess it was kind of his thing to do in the shower. He was a very repetitive person. I decided that since I was so close to him I was just going to quietly listen and enjoy those familiar feelings while I had the chance. I knew that the moment I saw him it would become awkward and I would probably feel the urge to run away again so I just listened. For ten minutes I listened and pictured him the way that I remembered him. I remembered those big blue eyes, those pouty lips and that curly gray hair. I remembered the way he smelled of old spice and aftershave after he was done showering. I even remembered the feel of his soft skin next to mine when he would hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

Gilbert Grissom was the only man that I love and have ever loved. I sat thinking about the twins how Max would give me that little smirk every morning when he would get up just like his daddy. Maddy with her walk and talk every little thing she did reminded me of him except her long curly locks and her long dark eyelashes those features came from me. Who would have thought that two people together could create such perfect and sweet loving children?

I started to tear up I was thinking and crying at the same time. I yearned so much to share my life with him again. I ached for him to hold me just one more time to kiss me and make sweet passionate love to me like we used to. I miss the silent moments when we would just sit in bed next to each other in the darkness of the night and be perfectly happy just being next to each other.

I decided that before I started bawling I had better get out before he heard me so I wrapped my towel around me and trudged off towards the locker room. I thought I was alone when to my utter shock I felt that feeling again. He was behind me staring at me I could feel the burning of his blue eyes. Great just great I was stark naked I had just dropped my towel when I heard the door open and shut.

I heard a little chuckle coming from him and without even thinking I immediately turned around. I Sara Sidle could never be outdone by Gilbert Grissom. So there I was completely naked with his eyes staring into mine. "Wow, Sara, I wanted to get to talk to you while you were here but I never thought I would get to meet you this way looking so incredibly sexy I might add."

And again there was that little smirk that I saw every morning and every night except this time it was from the elder instead of my youngster. "Yeah laugh it up buddy it is nothing you haven't seen before!" "You know you could have given me a warning or something Griss!" I couldn't believe that to my utter shock I was still completely comfortable with him seeing me this way it was like time had stood still.

"Well believe it or not Sara, I didn't know you were here, if I did I would have given you a warning." "But anyway you still look great time has not aged you at all." I have to admit coming from any other man that would have been very embarrassing but coming out of Gilbert Grissom's mouth that was about the best compliment that I had gotten in over two years. I started to blush and figured I better hurry and get out of there before I grabbed him and kissed him right then and there. "Well Griss it sure is nice to see you again it has been a long time." "I didn't know if I would ever get to see you again."

I grabbed my clean coveralls and slipped them on and was about to walk out of the room when he interrupted me yet again. "Umm Sara, not to be nosey or anything but where did you get that scar from across the front of your stomach? I don't recall ever seeing it before. Are you okay?"

Great just great he had to see my cesarean section scar that I had gotten from having the twins. "Oh it was just a minor surgery that I had, I had a hernia last year that is all I am doing fine; I replied hoping that would satisfy his curiosity." "Oh good, I am glad that you are okay Sara it was a pretty big scar, I know we are not together anymore but I will always care about you Sara."

I thought I was going to die now. I had to get out of there quickly before the tears started to fall. Did he have to remind me that we were not together anymore? Why are men so insensitive and such assholes I thought? "Yeah I care about you too Griss see ya later!" With that I grabbed my bag and got the hell out of there before I became an emotional wreck in front of the love of my life. Could he really be that clueless?

It was four a.m. and I knew that I had to get back to the hotel but instead I just sat there in the parking lot in my car crying like a stupid idiot. Why does that man always make me react like that? It had been over two years since we had last seen each other and still nothing had changed he still had that emotional pull on me. Just when I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot there in the darkness he showed up again. I heard the wrapping on my window.

"Sara, roll down the window!" "No, I am not rolling down the window I am going back to my hotel!" "Please Sara, what is wrong?" He said it so gently like he was afraid I was going to break down in front of him. "NO! I yelled again. "GOODBYE GRISSOM!"

He had embarrassed me enough for one night. If I spent one more moment around him I might just end up confessing my true feelings to him and that is not what I wanted to do. I was embarrassed enough there was no way in hell that I was going to admit that I was not over him. So I put my foot on the gas and sped off into the night again leaving a very confused Grissom in my wake.