Over the course of the next two weeks, Harry stopped waiting around in the lobby for Draco each morning. He was ashamed that he had gone to such lengths to see the boy and that he had been caught in his attempts. How could Draco have seen him? He had shared his plan with no one.
Harry walked up to his office surrounded by throngs of people bustling to begin their day. Harry greeted his secretary with a glum 'good morning' and entered his office.
Being a new Auror, Harry had been graced with the smallest office possible. To him, it reminded him of the ultra-tight broom closet under the stairs that the Dursley's grounded him to when he was a child. That may have been the reason Harry hated the office so much. It was small and had barely enough room for his desk and a chair, but it did have a window. Harry knew that it was an enchanted window and it didn't really reflect the outdoors, but it still provided a little light as Harry closed the door behind him, neglecting to turn on the light.
Harry rounded his desk and slumped into his chair, basking in the relative darkness of the office. He hadn't seen Draco in over two weeks and he was beginning to go crazy trying to occupy his mind with thoughts of something else.
"Hello Potter," a voice interrupted him. The voice was quiet, but still caused Harry to nearly jump out of his chair.
Draco stepped from the shadow behind the door and stood in front of Harry's desk. Harry's breath caught in his throat as he tried to compose himself and looked up at the titanium-haired boy standing before him.
"Hi….Draco. What…..er…..Do you want to sit down?"
Draco sat in the sole chair opposite of Harry's desk and fixed his robes. The boy always looked impeccable. Always conscious of his look and demeanor. Harry admired that about him. Regardless of what emotion was coursing through his body, Draco always appeared calm, composed, and in control of himself. Unlike Harry who wore his emotions on his sleeve.
"Harry," Draco paused and Harry realized it was the first time he had ever called him by his real name. He was used to something like Prat, Potter, or Git among a slew of other words Harry was sure Draco had invented specifically for him.
"I wanted to talk about uh…..what happened…..Er…..us." The composure was suddenly gone from Draco's face and he appeared to Harry as a nervous and scared boy.
Harry raised his eyebrow at the mention of the word "us" and waited for Draco to finish.
"I need to know….umm." Draco was stammering now. "H….how do you…er….what are your feeli…thoughts on what happened?"
Harry paused, unsure how to put into words how he felt. How much should he tell Draco? If Harry bared his soul, he could scare the boy off once and for all. On the other side of things, if he didn't tell Draco how he felt, it could give him the impression that Harry didn't like him. He was stumped.
"Draco. I…." Harry left off, the silence and darkness of the room becoming heavy, almost oppressive.
"You didn't force anything on me that I didn't want." Harry tried to gauge Draco's reaction to his statement, but the boy's face was blank. "You know I've been waiting to talk to you in the lobby each morning obviously….and that was because I wanted to get to know you better."
Draco shifted in his chair, his almost white hair catching what little light was in the room. "Why?"
The question caught Harry off guard and he struggled to find the correct wording.
"Why not Draco? I realized that we don't really know much about each other. We spent so much time fighting in school, that we never really gave each other a chance."
"I tried to be your friend when I first met you on the train in our first year at Hogwarts. You refused." Draco's voice was barely audible as he said the last sentence.
"I was young and stupid. Things could have been so different between us…." Harry's voice trailed off and he met Draco's questioning gaze.
Neither boy spoke for what seemed like eternity.
Draco's voice finally broke the heavy silence. "How so Harry?"
"Look, Draco…" this was it. The moment Harry was dreading and yet the same moment he had been looking forward to for so long. He immediately made up his mind to lay it all on the line and hope for the best. The uncertainty and games were killing him. He couldn't take it anymore.
"I….i thinkiloveyou". Harry blurted out the words as if they stung his mouth on the way out.
Draco's jaw dropped and his usually cool composure was gone. Harry just watched as the silence enveloped the office once again and Draco attempted to compose himself. He wasn't succeeding.
The longer Harry waited in the silence, the redder his face got and the more uncomfortable he felt. He had put his entire soul out on the line for Draco to examine and he was unsure how he would respond. Did he feel the same? Was he going to mock him for being so mushy? Would he write him off as just a bathroom wank?
"Harry…..i'm glad…er…I know…." Draco frowned, trying to put his feelings into words. Something Harry knew he struggled with. He had watched Draco struggle with his emotions and putting them into words during their years at Hogwarts and usually saw the eruptions that resulted.
"I know this is all new to you Harry." Draco said, finally getting his direction. "And I can appreciate the fact that you are attracted to me."
Harry knew what word was coming next. But.
"But….You aren't ready for this. You aren't ready for…. Me. I've had a little time to figure out what I want, but you…..you are just a baby in this whole experience. You need some time to….figure things out. That's why I feel like I took advantage of you at Throb. It just sort of happened and I didn't mean for it to. When I saw you there…..I was unsure of what you wanted. I couldn't fathom that you were gay. Now that I know, I'm glad, but I know what it's like to discover yourself. You need the time to…..explore…to…experiment. You can't possibly…" Draco stopped himself. "You are just a little young to want to…."
Harry opened his mouth to refute the statement, but Draco surprised him by standing up, reaching across the desk, and pressing his lips softly to Harry's. The intimate gesture caused Harry's heart to flutter and he felt his knees go weak. Good thing I'm already sitting down, he thought as Draco broke off the kiss.
"Come find me when you are a little…..older," Draco said softly, the pain evident in his voice.
He turned and grabbed the door handle, turning it slowly, releasing it from the door jam. Harry watched him intently; certain he would look back and catch his gaze before he left. But he never did. Draco left the office quietly and closed the door. Harry was left alone.
Author's Note: I know, I know. It's horrible and painful. Trust me…it had to be done. It pained me just as much to write it as it does for you to read it.
Thank You: to WinterStorrm and S for reviewing. You are too kind and it means a lot that you are enjoying it. To everyone else…well, you gotta review…..please?
Thanks for everyone who reads and adds.
~MU~
