Disclaimer (da da da DA (its new.(go brackets))): I don't own anything that Stephanie Meyer originally invented.

Author's note:

BIG KUDOS AND THANKS to Saranha de Angelo, Mrs. James Harold Potter and Tabbicat and ReaderRabid for reviewing!!!

Big PLEASE REVIEW to the other 26 people who read the chapter and didn't review!! THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I HAVE NUMBERS!!! I love the stats bar it makes me feel loved despite the only 20 something reviews.

Elindrius: ….hiya stranger!


FINDING RESOLUTION

Chapter nine: pain... and PAIN

I felt his sharp teeth pierce my skin and felt a sharp pain through the haze of morphine. I felt Edward's mouth at my neck, sucking the bloody from my veins. As he took more blood I gradually grew weaker and weaker. The morphine and the lack of oxygen made it ever more difficult to stay awake. My neck began to go numb.

Edward pulled away. I heard his entrancing voice asking Carlisle something and focused on the rhythm, the velvet tone, instead of the words.

Then it started.

Faint tingles spread slowly from my neck, like pins and needles. The tingles grew gradually sharper, more painful.

And then it started to burn.

It felt like the time I had accidentally landed my arm on the hotplate. Only then, my reflexes had kicked in and pulled my arm away. Now it was enforced, prolonged. As if someone was holding a tiny hotplate to my skin. The heat spread through my neck. My skin had to be blistering, it burned!

My muscles tensed, as if lack of motion could somehow stop the burning, the pain. Slowly it ebbed out from my neck. I felt my body shudder, which only made it worse. Edward took one hand, and I felt Jacob grab the other, just like I had imagined.

But I didn't care.

The morphine wasn't doing a damn thing.

I just wanted the pain to go away!

The heat spread under my skin into my body.

I could feel my heartbeat sending blood through cells that didn't need the extra pressure. Already they felt like they were trying to force themselves out of my skin. It felt as if each organ was edged with needles, and was expanding inside my body, which was burning on every surface.

It felt as if knives were pressing through my skin.

It felt as if my neck was throbbing, and each throb send a wave of sharp needles and burning fire to another area of my body. I felt like I was too small for my body, and it was trying to expand out, but wasn't able to.

I could distantly head a loud gasping, a rough groaning, and realized it was coming from me.

I couldn't see through the haze of pain, only hear the sounds that I made, completely out of my control – gasps for breath, sobs, groans.

My head throbbed with the world's most horrible migraine. My head was surely splitting open.

Surely somebody was peeling my skin off, because it felt that way.

My stomach felt as is it were being stirred with sharp razors.

The agony had taken over every corner of my body. My bones, previously safe, were now disintegrating. I could felt the torture as each bone broke into many tiny pieces, and reformed, before stretching. Bones weren't made to stretch! It HURT!

Each throb of pain in my body caused me to release a loud hiss, a bone chilling shriek of pain.

I could never have imagined this pain.

It was complete agony.

This had to have been going on for days. It had to be over soon. I wanted to die.

Oh God.

If I died it wouldn't hurt anymore. Why couldn't I have that?

Surely I would die soon. This pain couldn't possibly be normal. This had to mean that Edward had taken too much blood, given me too much venom and I was dying. But then the pain would be gone, so I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything but relief.

Edward's venom was brutally destroying my body. And my body was protesting.

Loudly.

If only it could be over.

If only the agony would go away.

I could handle the burning, the fire, if the stabbing and the sensation of my bones disintegrating and reforming would only fade.

Oh, anything but this.

My mind began to struggle to form coherent thoughts, and instead began repeating a torrent of curses and swear words in an attempt to focus on something that wasn't the torture my body was experiencing.

And then I felt it.

The stabbing, starting to fade. The horrible feeling that my innards were being wrenched around gradually stopped. The dull, heavy thudding in my head settled down. The hot burning settled to tingles, and then to blessed numbness.

Was it over?

Was this the morphine?

I didn't care.

The pain had stopped.

The pain was gone!

That meant… I was a vampire! FINALLY! This was what I'd wanted for so long. I could finally be sure of having forever with the people I loved. I wouldn't have to waste away beside their perfection. I wouldn't be the only one aging. I wouldn't be weak, breakable. After so long… I finally had exactly what I wanted.

I started paying attention to my senses again. Not brave enough to see if my sight had returned, I listened. I could hear properly, not just distantly acknowledging sounds. I became aware of a continuous stream of swear words that had replaced my groans of pain – echoing the thoughts in my head. I stopped, and forced myself to concentrate of breathing normally, not with gasps for air, or great sobs.

I opened my eyes and sat up. The blood rushed to my head, and my stomach rebelled. I just managed to lean over so that when my stomach pushed its content up my throat, I vomited on the floor instead of the bed. Jacob held my hair back. Edward disappeared for five seconds and returned with a glass of water and a face washer, and carefully washed my face.

"Is it over?" I asked croakily. I carefully examined my body. My bones were perfectly normal, not broken, not smashed. My skin bore no blisters to show the marks of the fire I had endured. There wasn't a mark on me.

Jacob and Edward sat close on either side, gripping a hand each.

"It shouldn't be…" Edward murmured, pain in his eyes as he watched me.

"How long was I…?" I managed through a cracked and sore throat.

"It's been ten minutes." Jacob said.

TEN MINUTES?

NO!

I had three days of this to live through.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do three days of that!

I had thought I could deal with the pain.

I was wrong.

I'd changed my mind.

It wasn't worth the pain.

…But the pain wasn't coming back.

I sat up straighter.

Worry and pain faded from the boys' eyes, to be replaced with confusion.

"The pain's gone." I told them. I experimentally shifted all my limbs. Nothing. Everything was fine. I reached for my neck and felt a slight puckered scar. Nothing more.

I had definitely felt Edward's teeth break my skin! There should have been a open gash, like when James had bitten me.

"That's not possible…" I whispered. How was this happening? This made no sense.

"Carlisle?" Edwards asked, panic and confusion infused in his normally calm tone.

"Didn't I… was there not enough venom? Maybe didn't break the skin properly? What happened?"

His voice began to pick up self deprecation. I was about to leap to reassure him, then his words sunk in. Not enough venom…did he have to bite me again?

"You fucked it up?" Jacob exploded. "She has to do that again? Because you couldn't bite her properly? It's what you're made for, bloodsucker! How could you…" He trailed off, gripping my hand tightly. He forced the shaking that had started during his tirade to stop. He watched me with such concern that I was touched. He was so worried about me.

"There was enough venom, you broke the skin fine." Carlisle said calmly, interrupting. He moved forward, touched my scar briefly and stepped back.

"I think there's something going on here that we've never encountered before."

"Then what…?" I asked, then failed to find a question. Maybe it was me. Maybe my cells couldn't even change properly.

Could I possibly be quite that abnormal?

"Let me take another blood test. I'll see what I can find." Carlisle said, calm as always. I held out my arm unresisting. Maybe he could figure out what was going on.


Carlisle spent two hours in his study with his microscope. Edward and Jacob wouldn't let me stand for the first hour until I proved that I had recovered. I was grinding my teeth, I was so impatient. Jacob punched his hand every now and then, and looked as if he wanted to run out into the bush, phase, and do several thousand laps of the house. Or, you know, the state.

Edward sat beside me on the bed, and then stood by my side in the kitchen.

Only his tight grip on my waist, and his carefully controlled expression told me that he wasn't completely calm, as his relaxed position would suggest.

I inquired once about the constant flashes of frustration on his face.

"He's blocking me out." He explained, tapping his head and smiling ruefully.

"Him, however…" He muttered quietly, tilting his head in Jacob's direction.

Jacob glared at him. "It's my head! If you're gonna listen, you're gonna have to deal with it."

"You could attempt to stop shouting your thoughts." Edward suggested.

"You could attempt to get the hell the out of my head!" Jacob retorted.

"We could all attempt to be civil?" I suggested mildly. They both shut up.

An age later, Carlisle emerged.

"I know what's happened."

We all tried to speak at once.

"Did I – "

"Did he – "

"How can – "

"You're going to have to wait for me to explain." Carlisle said over us. We fell silent and waited.

Edward groaned softly.

"I'm sorry Bella." He whispered, kissing the top of my head. Apparently, he'd gained access.

"What did he – "

"You didn't – "

"You're going to have to let me explain." Carlisle said patiently.

We fell silent again.

"The human immune system acts by creating – "

" – Do we need the biology lecture?" Jacob asked, temper obviously on edge.

"Yes." Carlisle answered simply. He raised an eyebrow, and Jacob fell silent.

"The human immune system acts by creating antibodies for each antigen. Each time a new, unfamiliar particle enters the body – the antigen – the body makes a specific antibody that matches the antigen like a jigsaw. Then the antibody attaches to the foreign particle and removes it from the body. Once it is gone, the antibody is 'saved' so to speak, so that it can be used again if the same antigen reenters the body."

"May I summarize?" Edward asked politely. Carlisle nodded.

"The antigen is my venom, and Bella has antibodies."

"Awesome!" Jake said, smiling widely.

I ignored Jake.

"WHAT?" I exploded. "How? Why? WHAT??!?"

"Let me finish." Carlisle said calmly. I fell silent, fuming. I really didn't like where this was going.

"I'm guessing that when you kissed Edward, small amounts of venom were introduced into your body. Not enough to case any damage – but enough for your body to create antibodies. So when he bit you, your body fought off the venom because it already had the antibodies."

"So I'm immune to Edward." I said hollowly. I knew it was too good to be true.

Carlisle nodded.

"Why wouldn't that happen normally? Why wouldn't anybody who got bitten be able to make antibodies?" Jacob inquired. I could practically see him absorbing information. I glared at him. Why did he have to be a werewolf now?

"It would take a week to make the antibodies. By then, anybody else would be changed or dead."

"Oh but not ME! Heaven forbid I could be normal." I muttered.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "I didn't know – I wouldn't have…"

I'd never heard him struggle for words before. My brain raced. There had to be an answer, any answer. 'Specific' is what my mind latched onto.

"Specific!" I exclaimed, having a sudden brainwave. Hope rose again. "Would another vampire's venom do? Yours? Alice's? I haven't kissed either of you, I wouldn't have antibodies to…"

I drifted off. Carlisle was shaking his head. My heart sank before he even spoke.

"Our venom is exactly the same. You have antibodies for vampire venom, not just Edward's."

"I am immune to vampire's." I said flatly. Nobody said anything.

"This isn't FAIR!" I complained. I knew that I sounded like a child, but I didn't care.

"I WANTED THIS! I wanted this so much! I was ready to sacrifice everything to be one of you!"

My emotions were gradually and strongly taking over.

That and my hormones.

"How can my IMMUNE SYSTEM take away from me?? My IMMUNE SYSTEM has taken away everything I ever wanted!" I gripped Edward's waist and looked at him through the tears that rushed unhindered down my face.

"I want you! I want you forever! Not for 70 years or so while I waste away! I want you for eternity and this is so beyond fair it's ridiculous!"

I leaned against him, sobbing. Why was I crying? Crying wasted time. I didn't have time. Thanks to my antibodies, I was deprived of eternity.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Edward was whispering.

"It's not – your fault!" I sobbed, tears streaming.

"I kissed you." Edward said, for all the world looking like he would take it all back if only he could save me this pain.

"You didn't know." I whispered.

I saw Jacob struggling with the need to phase, the need to run.

And suddenly that's what I wanted to do.

"I need to go. I need to be out of here. I need to – "

I sprinted outside, unable to explain. I ran as fast as I could and made it to the edge of the forest before I fell. Edward caught me, as always, safe in his arms. But I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to hurt. I wanted the pain back! The pain that would mean I could have my piece of forever back.

I looked down to see what I'd tripped on.

There was nothing there.

Typical.

Oh, vampire venom, give me some of that, I can cope.

Remaining vertical, however, was just too much of a challenge.

The universe hates me.


Author's note:

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to TWIST NUMBER ONE I finally got there. Hope you enjoyed!

Bet none of you saw THAT coming!

PLEASE review. You have to now. I used upper case. Clearly it must be of unimaginable importance!!!

HA! I can do line breaks!


Pretty purple button.