Tommy had tried his hardest to avoid her after that day. He couldn't trust himself to stay indifferent, the longer she was there, the harder it became for him. He knew that he could be mean, he could act the way he had before, but it didn't seem right, he couldn't be that guy, not to her, not again.
He was frustrated, and it was become apparent in his work. He looked down at May's song, the guitar in his hands, it wasn't working, nothing about the song was working, and that only added to his anger. He had wanted this to be easy, a simple distraction, something to keep his mind busy, but it wasn't working.
He put it hand up, signaling May to stop singing. They weren't making any progress.
"What?" she asked.
"I need a new set of eyes to look at this." He sighed in defeat, putting the guitar down, and picking up the sheets of paper. He had seen Speiderman and Karma leave Jude's booth, leaving her alone. "I'll be back in a few, order lunch."
"Yeah." May smiled at him.
Tommy stood outside of the door, watching her. She looked so happy, the smile on her face was one he remembered, one she had when she was listening to something perfect, something mood changing. It made him happy to see her like that, it made him feel comfortable.
"Glad to see you still remember how to use a soundboard." He joked, opening the door.
"Something's are hard to forget." She smiled. He loved her smile because it was always so real. "Karma's song should be done soon and ready for the final mixing."
"That's good, cause I need your help." Tommy said sitting down next to her. It was easy to slip back into the old him, the him who's world revolved around the girl in front of him.
"Little Tommy Q needs my help?" she asked, and he could see how easy it was for her to slip back into being that girl, his Jude.
"Yeah, we're trying to fix the bridge in this song, and I'm coming up blank." He couldn't do it, he couldn't allow himself to see her as his anymore, because she wasn't, she hadn't been his for a long time. "It's May's final song, and it just isn't working."
"May?" he could hear the accusation in her voice. He could see the slightest tint of pain in her eyes, and it was so easy for them to sit there and stare at each other, taking in the feature they had both longed to see.
"Yeah, you gonna look at the song, or stare at him like he kicked your puppy?" May asked, Tommy wasn't sure when she had come into the room, but it was her presence that helped bring him back to reality. There was something about being in the studio that made everything feel different, as though it was a different world.
"I'll look it over, but I've got to work on the music for Karma's song, she's recording this afternoon." Tommy could see her expression harden a bit, and it made him smile. She had always been such a hard worker.
"That's all we're asking for. And you know, I'd be glad to give the music a listen, help put it all together." He wanted to stay there, next to her, he wanted to keep studying her face, finding all the new things about her.
"It's okay, I've got it covered. I'll look this over when I go to lunch." She quickly sat the papers down, and he watched as her happy eyes seemed to turn back into the scared unsure ones she had at the airport. It stung to see her change so quickly, to think that he was the reason for her mood change.
"I'm really excited about this, having Jude Harrison look at one of my songs; it's like a dream or something." May smiled brightly, not picking up on Jude's mood change.
"Yeah, it'll be great." Tommy could pick up on her fake tone, it was one he knew well. "Now, I've really got to get this put together, I don't want a Karma fit."
"No one wants one of those." Tommy laughed getting out of the chair, he could tell she wanted to be alone, but he wanted to offer to help her. "And remember, I'm here if you need anything." That was all he could offer her. He put his hand on May's back, pushing her out of the studio. "I asked you to stay." He whispered in her ear.
"And let you give my song over to your ex." May smiled. "Funny."
"I'm not giving it to anyone, I'm seeking help, when help is needed." Tommy said as they entered the studio together.
"Well I ordered lunch, Thai."
"I don't feel like eating here now." Tommy sighed, grabbing his leather jacket off the couch.
"What?" May asked, blocking the door.
"I am going to go see Kwest." He said looking at her, waiting for her to move. When the air of the lobby hit him, the reality of what he had done suck in. He had asked Jude to look at a song, a song for another girl. What was he thinking? Speiderman and Kwest had both warned him about working with her again, about going down that road. One of them seemed to think it was a good idea, while the other way still thought Tommy should keep his distance. The two men were like the angel and devil that sat on his shoulder, speaking into his ear. And that made it hard for Tommy to know what he thought.
As he walked out of back door of G Major, into the empty alley way, he slapped the brick wall softly. He wasn't going to drag Jude back into his life, he didn't want her sucked back into his mess. And he knew that she had her own life, a good life. But why, why did they both have to be back at the same time? It was so hard for him to not want her, to not want to be next to her, watching her, helping her, working with her. But saying that he couldn't do that to her was so much easier than actually doing it. He was selfish and he knew that.
