Leon Belmont awoke to a splitting headache. "Is this… what it feels like to die?"

"No, actually," Joachim commented from beside him. "Funny thing about being dead, you don't feel much of anything!"

The vampire stood up and frolicked away.

Leon cast his bleary gaze around the bar, recalling where they were and why he was laying on the floor. Isaac sat at the bar, pouring himself a mug of hot coffee. A miserable looking Soma sat next to him, his head clenched tightly in his hands. Joachim appeared to be playing darts in the background.

A regretful looking Sonia appeared to be mixing something that involved coffee and a raw egg for Soma. Alucard stood stoically off to the side of the bar.

Dracula was still passed out on the floor.

Bracing himself, Leon stood and slid into the seat next to Soma. "You ok, kid?"

"Uggghh… hurts like a mofo…" the silver haired youth groaned.

"He's been saying that all morning," Isaac commented, taking a gulp of his black coffee.

A mug of coffee containing a full raw egg and other odds and ends was slid in front of both Leon and Soma. "Here, this will help."

Leon looked up, surprised to find Sonia looking at him with sympathy. "Sonia?"

"It is a hangover remedy. It will make you feel better," she explained. "Look… I am sorry about what happened last night. I should not have done that to all of you."

"No harm done," Isaac affirmed.

"Says the one who drank everyone under the table, and then finished a bottle of 600 year old scotch by himself." Soma grumbled crossly.

Isaac shrugged.

Leon took a sip of the remedy experimentally and grimaced. "Ugh, this tastes terrible!"

"But it is the only way you will feel better," Sonia smirked and folded her arms. "Down the hatch!"

Seeing Leon's reaction, Soma picked up his mug and eyed it skeptically. Turning to the Belmont, he raised his cup to him. "Cheers."

After clinking mugs with Soma, Leon tossed down the contents of the container, letting the remedy burn the whole way down. "It kind of tingles."

A bright light filled Leon's entire field of vision, and for a moment, the Belmont thought he was in the afterlife. "Ach! So bright…"

Joachim tisked, "I pity you humans with your hangovers."

"Sonia…" Alucard began awkwardly. "I'm… sorry I don't remember you. Especially since it seems I meant a great deal to you."

"I shall not lie… seeing you without the happy loving recognition on your face hurts, but I think I shall be able to make peace with it eventually," Sonia said, then cast her gaze down. "My only regret is… our child…"

Seeing her tears, Alucard quickly fumbled for something to say. "Please don't cry!"

But cry she did. "To think that our innocent babe never had a chance at life…"

"I…" The half-vampire continued to find himself at a lack of words. Everyone else in the bar continued to watch their exchange, making it all the more uncomfortable for him.

"My poor child…." Sonia sniffled. "Trevor… may God have mercy on your unborn soul."

"…Trevor?" Alucard's eyes widened.

"Hey! One of my descendants' names is Trevor!" Leon shouted happily, then winced at the loudness and the smack he received from Soma for his outburst.

"Trevor Belmont existed in our timeline," Alucard explained gently, a small smile on his face. "He may not have been our son, but he valiantly fought for good his entire life. He lived well."

Sonia's tears faded, and a smile once again returned to her face. "He lived… and he lived well…" A small laugh escaped her lips. "That is more than I could have ever asked for."

Leon did feel remarkably better after the remedy, though his headache still lingered at a manageable level. "Well, I hate to be the spoil-sport, but I do think it's about time we headed out."

"Thank the gods." Isaac sighed, throwing an empty bottle of gin behind him. "I can't take much more soap opera drama."

Sonia nodded. "I am ready for whatever punishment you see fit for me. Please, all I ask is that you make it quick." She lifted her hands to her sides, closing her eyes.

"Ok," Joachim agreed, sending one of his blades straight for her head.

"No!" Leon shouted, whipping the blade away with the Vampire Killer.

"What do you mean 'no'? I do not understand…" Sonia frowned, opening her eyes again.

"Sonia, you may have a terribly bitter soul and perchance for drama, but you are not a bad person," Leon affirmed.

"Oh no. This had better not be going where I think it's going," Joachim groaned.

"You are indeed powerful, but I do not believe we would ever gain anything by killing you," Leon explained. "Would you consider joining us on our journey?"

Never had they seen her so happy. "I would! Of course I would!"

It was settled. An attempt was made to rouse Dracula from his undead slumber. When he refused to wake, Isaac carried the vampire out over his muscular shoulder.

They left the tavern, squeezed their way through the galactic hallway, and found their way back to the painted area, where clocks continued to float in the time-space continuum. Isaac picked up his motorcycle with a grin, throwing Dracula over the passenger seat and speeding away. Eager to finally look cool, Soma mounted his motorcycle and blared away after him.

While Joachim and Leon went on ahead through the entrance, arguing about what time it actually was, Alucard and Sonia hung back.

"Are you ready to finally leave?" He asked her.

Sonia gave him an expectant smile. "As long as you are by my side, I will be ready for anything."

Before he could protest, she took his hand and clasped it tightly.

Together, they walked through the door.

Alucard emerged from the room alone.

Joachim glanced back at him. "Where's that girl?"

"She…" Alucard looked at his empty hand, then shook his head, trying frantically to remember her name. "That girl… doesn't exist in this timeline."

Leon frowned. "I get the feeling we didn't defeat the demon behind this door, but we definitely spent at least a few hours in there."

Isaac's face contorted into a grimace as he thought. "She… must not have been too bad… since we are alive."

Even Soma groaned, "Who was she?"

Suddenly, Dracula sat up with a gasp, "Sonia you bitch I'll kill you!"

"Sonia!" Alucard gasped, as if recognition had suddenly hit him, but then the light began to fade from his eyes again. "She only existed in that room. When she tried to leave, she disappeared."

"I suppose we did kill her," Leon cast his gaze down sadly.

"Don't worry, Leon. I'm sure I'll get over it," Joachim assured his friend, patting him on the shoulder. "See? I'm already over it!"

"We would all do well to forget about Sonia," Alucard advised them sadly. "Memories of one who does not exist will only cloud our judgment and alter our perception of time."

For the next hour of traversing Castlevania, Alucard remained silent, which would have worried them if he wasn't always stoically emo.

"Your next foe is hidden in one of the highest turrets of Castlevania…" Dracula took up the slack of explaining while Alucard continued to stay quiet. "But first, we will have to get there by traversing one of my favorite places…"

With that, Dracula threw open the large wooden doors to the next area with a flourish. "The Clocktower!"

Everyone's eyes widened as they stared into the room ahead. A long corridor lined with deadly spikes greeted them, the floor broken in some places, replaced instead with large swinging pendulums. They could hear the ominous grinding of rotating gears from somewhere above them.

Medusa heads and large flying bats filled the hallway, drifting in every direction imaginable.

A wayward bat flew out of the room and flapped into Soma's face. He shooed the bat away by frantically waving his hands and immediately punched Dracula. "What the hell? Why is your Clocktower ALWAYS such a fucking nightmare?"

"Watch yourself, boy," Dracula frowned, brushing off the place where Soma had hit him. "I bruise easily now."

"That… is actually a really good question," Leon commented. "Many of my descendants returned with horror stories about your Clocktower. Why did you build it?"

"Because he's a dick!" Soma answered for him, glaring at Dracula with contempt.

Dracula made no attempt to disagree.

Isaac cracked his knuckles. "It's about time I had a challenge." He revved his engine and peeled away into the Clocktower, punching bats and medusas (blue and gold alike) and leaving a wake of destruction in his path.

Feeling considerably safer with him on their side, the others ran, floated, and drove after him, doing their best to avoid the bats and medusas, who flew through the spikes, walls, and floor at them.

Just before Isaac reached the first pendulum, he gunned his motorcycle as fast as it would go, then popped a wheelie onto the pendulum, rotating the cycle around 180 degrees on the back tire to the next pendulum, where he rotated it another 180 degrees on the front tire. Finally, using the momentum of the swinging pendulum, Isaac flipped the cycle off the swinging metal and brought it down onto the floor on the other side.

"I can do that," Soma blurted immediately.

Leon looked at him doubtfully. "Soma, if you want to leave your motorcycle here, I'm sure we can always come back this way to get it…"

"Screw that," Joachim shook his head, "I'm not coming back to the Clocktower of Death."

"Actually, Death doesn't live here anymore," Dracula sighed wistfully.

Alucard finally snapped out of his silent trance when he heard Soma gunning it for the first pendulum, as Isaac had moments earlier. "Soma, no!"

Soma shocked them all by making it to the first pendulum in one piece. However, as he was overanxious, he jumped too soon and missed the second pendulum. His eyes widened in surprise, and time seemed to slow down around him.

Leon noted with amazement that time actually was slowing around them. The pendulum swings, Soma's descent, and even the Medusa heads all slowed down while the silver haired youth looked down at his motorcycle.

Soma shed a tear of remorse, hugging the frame lovingly and made up a small haiku, "Oh motorcycle. You were great and really fast. I'll miss you a lot." Then he closed his eyes, turned into a white bat, and flew away.

Away. Not to the other side of the gap in the floor… but away.

"Soma?" Alucard growled when the white bat just continued to fly up out of reach. Without another word to the others, he changed into a black bat himself and flew after him.

Time had returned to normal, yet Leon felt as though it was still moving slowly. "What… just happened?"

Joachim shrugged. "I think we're going to have to fight Dracula tonight."

"Only if you…" The lord of the night began ominously.

"Not you," the purple haired vampire immediately spun around, pressing an index finger into his chest. "The Dracula that actually has his balls intact."

Joachim floated back as Dracula took a swipe at him. Leon was quick to step in and chastise them both. "We don't have time for this. Have it out elsewhere, if you must."

As he looked across the way, he could see Isaac yawning with boredom, lazily batting away Medusa heads with the back of his hand. With a grim expression, Leon ran and jumped to the first pendulum, but a Medusa head floated up through the floor and lightly tapped him.

"Uugh!" Leon flew backwards 10 feet with a grunt of despair.

He stood up, breaking up the fighting between Dracula and Joachim as he passed by them again and tried for the first pendulum once more. This time he was not ambushed. He made it to the second pendulum and joined Isaac on the other side of the room.

In response to his heroics, Isaac only shook his head and pointed back across the pit.

Dracula and Joachim were screaming and pulling each other's hair out.

Leon sighed. This was going to be a long journey.

Sometime later, after suffering through the stoning of the golden Medusa heads, tediously climbing rotating gears, and impaling themselves several times on spikes, the four arrived at the top of the clocktower.

"You losers all look winded," Soma grinned, sitting with Alucard before the usual blood-skull engraved demon boss door.

"Soma!" Leon gasped in relief. "We…" He began to say, then looked doubtfully at the others. "I was worried about you. Why did you disappear like that?"

Soma shrugged. "Didn't wanna go through the Clocktower again."

Nobody could blame him, much less a very guilty looking Alucard, who hastily made his way to his feet. "Our next foe will be…"

"An eight year old with hemophilia?" Joachim asked hopefully.

"…extremely dangerous," Alucard finished, much to the vampire's dismay. "This creature feeds off darkness… even goes so far as to pull the darkness to it."

"That doesn't seem so bad…" Isaac reasoned.

"We won't be able to see it, but it will see us," Alucard finished cryptically.

Joachim blinked. "I think it's Leon's turn to take out the monster by himself. You know, Belmont, and all that…"

Leon nodded resolutely. "It is indeed my responsibility to…"

"Leon-Fucking-Belmont, you are not getting all the glory!"

Surprising them all, Soma sprung to his feet, clenching electricity in his fist. "So what if we can't see it? We'll figure out how to beat it!"

With a grim smile, Dracula made his way to the door, unlocking the demonic barrier. "I think that's enough moral uplifting for one day." He pushed open the door, revealing an all-consuming darkness beyond.

For a moment, the entire party hesitated, leery of entering this realm of blackness.

The next moment, Isaac had already peeled through the doorway on his motorcycle.

Dracula debated leaving his former favorite behind but resolutely walked through the door. Joachim grabbed his billowing cape and followed behind.

Alucard summoned a ball of flame, holding it delicately in his hands as he walked through the door, Leon and Soma at both his sides.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, the door forcefully slammed shut behind them, and Alucard's fire went out.

"Not funny, Allie! Turn the light back on!" Soma whined.

"It is 'on,' though if you don't believe me, you try to light this room." The half-vampire sighed.

"All right, I will!" Taking that as a challenge, Soma collected his strength, summoning a gigantic ball of lightning, then opened his hands. "HA!"

Nothing happened. Well, almost nothing.

"Ieyaa!" Dracula howled, anger apparent in his voice. "Watch where you're aiming, wannabe!"

"Well sorrrrry! I can't see anything!" The youth bellowed back.

"Quiet, you'll alert its attention to us," Alucard advised, as usual, a little too late.

A loud boom echoed through the chamber. Followed by another. And another.

By the fifth resonating boom, the bass had become so loud that it shook them where they stood. No other sound gave away the nature of the demon, sending dread straight into their veins.

"Get ready!" Leon shouted, gripping the Vampire Killer tightly. "It's almost…!"

Suddenly, it was atop them.

Leon heard a grunt from Alucard and a piercing cry from Soma as they were flung away from him. Another shout seemed louder than the others, if that was possible.

Oh wait. That was his own.

Leon flew through the air screaming, landing roughly on his side, a shower of dirt and rock cascading after him. As he struggled to pick himself up, the sound of Isaac's motorcycle skidding and colliding with the ground reached his ears. The devil-forger was, of course, far too manly to scream.

Dracula and Joachim, however, were not. They both collided with the wall to Leon's left with a sickening splat. For a moment, he panicked with concern, and he had to remind himself that vampires healed quicker than most others. He clutched the Vampire Killer, listening to where he thought the booming sound might be originating, and whipped.

The Vampire Killer wrapped around something, and Leon felt himself being pulled forward in a familiar manner.

"Watch it," Isaac's unmistakably manly voice advised, tossing the whip back to him.

"How did you…?" The Belmont began.

"A real man always knows when he's being attacked from behind," the devil-forger replied.

"But your motorcycle…"

"It didn't attack me from behind." Isaac responded glumly.

"Damn it!" Soma cursed, the sounds of him running their way unmistakable. "How are we supposed to beat this thing?"

Another boom, far too close for comfort landed beside them, scattering them again with another shower of rocks.

It seemed hopeless. Completely and utterly hopeless. How were they supposed to attack something they couldn't see? Already they had mistakenly attacked each other twice. At this rate, they would find themselves dead before the demon.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed through the room. Leon didn't have to spin around to find the source of the flash. This time it was right in front of him.

Joachim stood in front of him, briefly and clearly illuminated by white light as he frowned down at his hand. Moments later, he was softly illuminated again as he looked into the screen of his digital camera.

"I knew it. My shirt is ruined!" The vampire wailed in mourning.

"Joachim…!" Leon's eyes widened. "That light…"

"Yes yes, the light," Joachim sighed. "Zombie blood, Medusa head blood, My blood… hey!"

Leon was atop him, snatching the camera from his hands. "This whole time… that bright light was you taking pictures of yourself?"

Joachim grabbed the camera back, the soft light allowing Leon to see him roll his eyes as if to say "well duh, what'd you think, dummy?"

"Why would you do that?" The Belmont shook his head, trying to make sense of it.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Joachim pointed to himself. "I'm a vampire. No reflection, remember? This is the only way I can see what I look like."

"You would bring a digital camera to Castlevania."

Joachim nodded.

"I hate to interrupt your comic-relief, but we have a demon chasing us," Alucard reminded them, taking the camera from Joachim's hands. He fumbled with it momentarily. Then… "How does this confounded machine work?"

"Let the master show you," Joachim snatched his camera back, snapping a picture of a perplexed looking Alucard… with a very large and very menacing looking furry foot about to strike behind him. "Look Ou—!"

They found themselves scattered on the floor again, rocks raining down atop them most unpleasantly.

"Joachim! Keep taking pictures!" Alucard ordered.

"Ok!" The vampire agreed, hastily taking another picture of himself.

"Idiot, not of yourself," Dracula growled. "Of the room!"

Joachim caught on quickly, the bright light flashing around the room, revealing their dark earthen surroundings, each other, and finally, their foe.

"Oh my God…" Soma murmured in awe.

"Don't say the Lord's name in vain," Leon chastised him quickly.

In the center of the room, the demon awaited them. Despite being covered in a mass of fur, its hind leg muscles looked strong enough to kick in any wall. It was so tall that the tips of its long pointed ears brushed against the high ceiling in the massive chamber.

It didn't speak, but oh did it stare with its beady red eyes.

"Unbelievable…" Alucard's voice trailed off. "It's…"

"…a giant Bunnicula," Isaac finished, assessing the situation with a grin.

The mammoth rabbit didn't move as quickly as one would think, but when it did, its mighty paws dug into the earthen ground, splashing debris and stones like dropping a boulder into a pond.

The game was on. Between the bright flashes of Joachim's camera, each of them attacked the rabbit, who suddenly fought and thumped back with the rage of at least 1,000 demonic bunnies.

Alucard stabbed the Alucard sword into its leg, but the rabbit kicked him off as if he were just some small annoying pest. It shook off all five of Joachim's blades, barely recoiled to the Vampire Killer, and scoffed at Soma's magical attacks. When Isaac drove his motorcycle into it, he was absorbed by the layers of fluffy coating and expelled like a sneeze.

Dracula alone had yet to attack. He opened his cape, intending to send destructive flaming dark inferno meteors at it, but then realized that he was a little hungry. Instead, he pulled out a carrot, ready to drink its deliciously fresh veggie juice.

Suddenly, the bunny turned its head. It sniffed once. Twice. Then it hopped faster than they had seen it move, straight for the Count.

Realizing that his snack was at stake, Dracula backed away, but he too became absorbed in the massive layers of delightfully downy fur. The carrot was plucked ruthlessly from his grasp.

As Dracula cried bloody emo tears, mourning the loss of his carrot, the others were certain they had never felt relief like this before in their lives.

The bunny was shrinking. With each bite of the carrot, it shrank a little smaller, until finally, Leon scooped up the fluff-ball in his hands. "It's kinda cute now." A gentle smile spread across his face as he looked to the others. "Do you think we should…?"

The sound of a shotgun being fired rang out, and the rabbit was no more. While Soma whooped when the bunny's soul flew into him, and Joachim beamed happiness as he discreetly caught the dripping blood in his Starbucks cup, Leon looked over at the source of the shot, mortified.

Isaac had already half-way disassembled the shot-gun, replacing the parts back on his motorcycle. "Hunting season," was his only explanation.

Deciding that he really needed to think about who he associated with better, Leon dropped the lifeless bunny into one of the holes it had made in the ground, covering it up with some dirt. "… I guess not."

"Don't get so down," Joachim advised, as he took a happy sip from his recycled cup. "Remember, it was trying to kill us. And it was a demon. Isn't killing them what we came here to do?"

"It was so fuzzy…" Leon sniffled, continuing to mourn, while Dracula wept openly beside him over his lost vegetable.

Seeing Dracula's distress, Alucard shifted uncomfortably, as if debating whether or not he should do something.

"I can not believe I am about to do this…" Alucard walked up to Dracula, opening his cape in a familiar fashion, and pulled forth a head of broccoli. Awkwardly, he held it out to the weeping man before him. "Here… take it. Happy Father's Day."

"Father?" Perplexed, Dracula wiped his eyes and accepted the vegetable. "I thought you hated me… wanted to kill me…"

"I did," the half-vampire agreed, "but I have seen that you are not the man you once were. I think… I can finally accept you as my father again."

Touched, Dracula rose to his feet, embracing a stunned Alucard. "Oh Adrian… thank you… thank you."

"If you two are done, I'd like to leave this room of darkness now. My camera's going to run out of batteries soon," Joachim sighed, unhappily snapping another photograph to light the room. "And Leon, cut it out. Shit happens."

Soma pried a reluctant Leon from the bunny's grave as they made their way back out into the light.


Thank you thank you thank you reviewers! You brighten my day!

Congrats to: Nano*Mecka, Wild Fantasy, and LadyArmster! I'm amazed that so many people knew the correct answer to my trivia! IMHO, this chapter's question is easier, so I hope even more people get this one!

TrueHyperSonic: You're awesome! I hope this chapter answered your question about Sonia and Alucard's child… In response to your question about CV3, I have for you a link! Dun dun dun… (bleh, stupid ff dot net, replace all the (dot)s with a period.)

www(dot)vgmuseum(dot)com/end/nes/a/cv3-3(dot)htm

I hope that link showed up. If it didn't, you know my email. (But I don't know yours! Oh, the irony!) I'll send it to you. Basically, Syfa is a girl, but Trevor is kind of a moron. He got Leon's stupid gene and didn't realize that she was a girl until the end of the game, when she throws off her hood. This is only revealed if you beat the game with Syfa. You can also beat it with Alucard and with Trevor, where Syfa does not reveal her secret and Trevor remains a moron.

Chapter Trivia #8 Answer:

Sonia Belmont really was the heroine in a Castlevania game, and she was scheduled to be the heroine in another game before its cancellation (probably due to her unpopularity.) Which Castlevania game featured Sonia, and what was the name of the game that was eventually cancelled? Review with your answer!

Sonia Belmont was the heroine in the game Castlevania: Legends. The cancelled game that was scheduled to feature Sonia again was called Castlevania: Resurrection.

Chapter Trivia #9:

In this chapter, Isaac punches blue and gold medusa heads alike without any problems. If he were anyone but our manly hero Isaac, what should have happened to him, and why? Review with your answer!