Chapter 9

Anakin sat at the kitchen table one morning with his head buried in his arm. Padme came in and put her arm around his shoulder.

"Anakin, it's six in the morning. What's wrong?" she asked.

"My headache. It can't get any worse," replied Anakin, handing Padme a letter he received.

She read it and her eyes widened.

"Oh…my…. God…." She said, shocked, "Not him! I don't want him to visit again!" she yelled, "Not Jar Jar!"

"A whole week of "mesa" and "yousa" and the constant idiotic ramblings. And he HATES Leia," said Anakin.

"I know he hates her. I don't know why," replied Padme.

Obi Wan walked in with luggage in his hands.

"What are you doing?" asked Anakin. Obi Wan pretended he didn't hear him

"What are you doing?" asked Padme.

"It has come to my attention that Jar Jar will be visiting and I am leaving. I'll be staying as far away as possible at a motel. Probably in the outer rim," replied Obi Wan.

"I don't blame you," said Padme.

"There," said Obi Wan, closing a suitcase, "Well, I'm off. Goodbye Padme,"

"Bye," replied Padme, nudging Anakin in the arm.

"Bye Obi Wan," said Anakin. Obi Wan walked out the door, silent.

Suddenly, a voice came from the other room.

"Wasting away again in Margaritaville…"

"Yoda, please, enough of your singing!" yelled Anakin.

"Anakin! Did Yoda ever open Plo Koon's gift?" asked Padme.

"Yes. It was a goldfish. Yoda ate it, and then puked it up in the toilet. Which is just as well because if he had taken care of it that's where it would have ended up anyway," replied Anakin.

"Oh. Gross," said Padme.

Leia ran into the room, excited.

"Mom! Dad! The Academy sent me my training saber! Look!" yelled Leia. She turned it on. "It's blue! Just like yours!"

"Yes it is. It looks good!" said Anakin.

"What's that?" asked Leia, pointing to the envelope.

"Oh. Um, Jar Jar is coming to, uh, visit," replied Padme.

"NO! I hate Jar Jar and he hates me," yelled Leia.

"WHO SAID JAR JAR?" yelled Luke from his bedroom.

"I should have let him die!" yelled Qui Gon from the front yard.

"She got the way to move me, cherry…"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" yelled Anakin.

The doorbell rang. Luke, thinking it was a delivery of his new speeder model, rushed to the door. It was Jar Jar.

"Luke! Mesa so happy to be seeing yousa! Yousa getting so big!" Jar Jar said, pinching Luke's cheeks and rubbing his hair in an annoying and painful manner.

Jar Jar walked right past Leia and threw two of his bags into her arms. She threw them on the floor and went upstairs.

"Ani! Mesa just got into town! I see yousa got my letter! Mesa staying one week, okie day?" said Jar Jar.

"Yeah, fine," replied Anakin, pretending to be busy with something else.

"Oh, you can stay in Obi Wan's room. He's, uh, with the Jedi council. Important stuff. You know," said Padme.

"Oh! Mesa almost forgot! Mesa bring popcorn for little Lukey! And some cheese!" he yelled, taking food out of his bag, "This food for Luke, okie day?"

Luke rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Where's Lukey going?" asked Jar Jar.

"Probably to his room," said Anakin, rubbing his head.

"Mesa go bring my bags to my room, okie day?" said Jar Jar.

"FINE!" Anakin shouted.

Jar Jar grabbed his bags and headed upstairs.

"He has to be the single most annoying living thing in the galaxy," said Anakin.

"I know. And that speech impediment. Ugh," replied Padme.

"Maybe I'll just take Leia somewhere tonight and get her away from all this," suggested Anakin.

"Oh so you take Leia and I'm stuck with the retarded amphibian?" said Padme.

"He's not LEGALLY retarded," replied Anakin, surprised at Padme's insult.

"I'm just kidding. Please do take Leia, she needs to get away from that guy," said Padme.

Anakin started walking to the stairs to get Leia.

"Climbin' up on Solsbury Hill…"

Anakin kicked the karaoke machine on its side and proceeded to the stairs.

"Khaaaaaaan! Khaaaaaaaan!" (Star Trek) yelled Yoda.